The first indication Tony had that something was up was when he sensed a sudden change in the light. Was that a flash? Then came Gibbs amplified voice calling:
"Wakey, wakey, wakey"
Tony shot up in bed to see Gibbs and Ziva standing at the foot of the bed laughing. Gibbs hands still fashioned in the shape of a megaphone.
"What the…?"
"Old navy tradition", Gibbs informed him.
"Shame really", Ziva added, "You too looked so cute together" and she came around the bed to show Tony the picture on the digital camera screen.
Tony looked and then closed his eyes in embarrassment. There they were: he and McGee curled up facing each other in what looked disturbingly like a heart shape.
"You'll pay", he muttered dangerously to Ziva.
He rolled out of bed and looked out the window. It was still dark. "What time do you call this?" he asked Gibbs.
"Pre-dawn", Gibbs replied in a business-like fashion, "The ranger said the storm has changed course. We're going to have to get moving if we don't want to spend another night here".
Tony was not impressed. He shuffled off to get ready then he stopped and looked back. McGee was still out cold.
"What about him", he whined.
"Who?" said Gibbs walking off.
"McGee", said Tony.
Gibbs looked back at the bed in surprise: old 'wakey, wakey' had served him well for many years. Puzzled, he walked back to the bed to regard McGee's oblivious face sternly.
"McGee!" he yelled.
McGee awoke feeling like he had been hit by the proverbial truck. He was aware he had just snorted, something he only did when he was woken from a sound sleep. He couldn't hear the alarm which meant, thankfully, it couldn't be a work day. He was exhausted; he could use the extra sleep. He grunted painfully, rolled over and dozed off again.
"McGee!"
Unless of course he was over-nighting somewhere for work. He snorted awake and met a pair of steely blue eyes. Adrenaline pounded through this body.
"Boss?" he squeaked trying to orientate himself.
Then it all came flooding back to him: the pain, the exhaustion, the sheer embarrassment. Then he realised it was about to happen all over again. The boss was mad at him before he had even opened his eyes. It was only downhill from here. He rolled his aching body off the bed and landed on the floor. Yep, definitely downhill.
"I want you ready to go in 10 minutes", Gibbs growled at him from above. "That includes breakfast. You'll need the energy to keep up with us today. Oh and use that puffer BEFORE we set off."
Gibbs stomped away, ignoring the look of panic on McGee's face.
It was only 15 minutes later when they all trailed out of the cabin.
"Stick together", Gibbs yelled out setting a cracking pace. "DiNozzo, McGee is your responsibility."
"Aww Boss", Tony complained.
"Get him to hold on to your backpack and pull him if you have to, we have to move."
Tony sighed and looked back at McGee who was already lagging behind. "Come on Probie, hang on to the backpack."
McGee looked up at him in confusion.
"Boss's orders", Tony explained.
McGee rolled his eyes and grabbed Tony's backpack with one hand.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As they approached the first pit stop, the group broke up a little as Gibbs and Ziva went on ahead and McGee let go of Tony's backpack and slowed.
"Ten minute break, people", called Gibbs.
Tony took a few good strides to escape McGee's weight. He felt so light, less than half the weight he had felt a moment ago. He looked behind; McGee was lagging yet again. Then Tony passed the perfect branch and paused. Just at head height. Nice and flexible. He bent it back and waited for McGee to appear in the gap it had left.
Whack!
McGee's head snapped back with the force of the blow and he fell flat on top of his backpack, his arms spread out, and hanging in mid air.
Tony cackled with glee "Yes!"
It took a few seconds to register that McGee wasn't struggling to his feet and glaring at him but was still doing the upturned turtle routine. Tony's smile froze for a moment then he hiked back over to look down on the prone form.
"McGee", he hissed prodding him with his foot. An ugly welt was beginning to grow across McGee's forehead.
"Don't do this to me", Tony pleaded bending down on one knee to check for a pulse. It was there. Boy was it ever; McGee's heart was going like a steam train. At least Gibbs wouldn't kill him.
"DiNozzo!" speaking of whom….
"A little help, boss", Tony called back.
Gibb's face appeared from nowhere. "What the hell happened?"
"He walked into a branch", Tony suggested.
Ziva snorted from behind Gibbs.
"Uh hu", Gibbs didn't sound at all convinced. He examined the rapidly expanding welt on McGee's forehead, "Bump like that he must have been going what 40, 50 miles an hour?" he raised an eyebrow at Tony.
"Yeah, Boss," Tony knew he was sinking fast but he was trying to stay afloat, "He's been hitting the gym…"
"Enough, DiNozzo", Gibb's patience ran out as McGee started showing signs of consciousness.