AN: Hey, everyone! Guess what? WE'RE ON VOLPINA! FINALLY, VOLPINA! I can't begin to describe just how long I've been waiting for this since I first heard of Lila Rossi! Fair warning, including for SPOILERS, if there are any die-hard Lila fans, I advise you to stop now. I'm not a fan of Lila Rossi. She constantly invades Adrien's personal space, has gotten herself Akumatized multiple times and has gotten other people Akumatized, has actively tried to sabotage Ladybug and Cat Noir, and willingly works with Hawk Moth. Not to mention every other thing she says is a lie. If she were just lying for attention, or to get people to like her, that would be one thing - but she threatened Marinette, then got her expelled.

So, no, I don't like Lila Rossi in the slightest. I despise her character, trumping even Chloe's - Chloe, while being a massive bully, at least has never framed Marinette and gotten her expelled, turned the entire school on her, or actively tried to let Paris burn to the ground. Please remember here, Ladybug is the reason Paris is comes out of Akuma attacks unscathed. She's the one that can even bring people back to life. And Lila - SPOILER HERE! - has tried to get her killed via separating the two of them.

Do explain to me how a mean comment is worse than working with a magical terrorist - and, before anyone says anything about how terrible it is being bullied...I KNOW, I WAS. A LOT. It's why I hated Chloe so much at first. That doesn't mean I'm completely blind to the detail that, as bad as Chloe currently is, Lila gets far worse.

Okay...this turned out way longer than I intended...oh well. ENJOY!

When Bloom and Marinette get to school, about two weeks after the Princess Fragrance incident - two weeks in which Rose has been on cloud twenty, forget Cloud nine, since she and Prince Ali have been trading calls and he's sent her a few letters - they find something weird going on. Not Akuma-weird, though - but, honestly, that would be more normal at this point.

Literally everyone is talking about some new girl - a Lila Rossi. According to everyone she's…flown in Prince Ali's private jet with him, saved Jagged Stone's cat from getting run over by an airplane on the runway and had a song written about her because of it, and knows every single Hollywood director.

Marinette murmurs the name they keep hearing in confusion, and Alya Cesaire grins ear-to-ear and says "Lila? She just started here today! She even gave me an exclusive interview on the Ladyblog! Ladybug saved her life, and they're best friends, watch!"

The brunette plays the video for them to see, and Lila lets out the fakest laugh either girl has ever heard before saying "Ladybug and I? We're like this." She holds up two crossed fingers for emphasis, reminiscent of how Cat Noir did with Theo Barbot so long ago, and the video ends.

And then Cesaire's off, saying her blog has gotten the most views ever thanks to Lila's interview - because she gave insider details, things only Ladybug's best friend would know! - and Bloom sardonically says "And, folks, if you listen closely, you can hear the sound of Alya Cesaire's credibility as a journalist getting flushed down the toilet…"

Marinette asks "Is everyone hypnotized by this girl or something?" She's heard the name 'Lila' at least twenty times already, and school hasn't even started yet.

Bloom shrugs, and says "I don't know, Mari. But…but what is she doing with Adrien?!" The last part comes out as a quiet hiss, but it might as well have been screamed to Marinette - sure enough, when she follows Bloom's line of sight, she sees the same girl from that video talking with Adrien…really closely. Running a finger down his chest, leaning in until her face is mere inches from his, all of it. And Adrien gulps, leaning back slightly and taking a small step backwards - his entire body screams 'stranger danger!' and 'Sis, come save me!'

Marinette immediately starts to spiral, her thoughts instantly turning to Adrien suddenly forgetting she even exists compared to Lila Rossi, and it takes all of Bloom's self-control not to smack her upside the head to snap her out of it. Instead she just grabs Marinette by the shoulder and says "Marinette, listen. Look at Adrien's expression, it's so far past 'uncomfortable' that it's actually physically painful to watch this."

And then Lila starts dragging Adrien into the library, and Bloom decides enough is enough. Lila needs to get her hands off her brother now.

Barely holding back an actual growl, Bloom says "You go on ahead to class, Mari. I'll handle them."

Marinette practically squeals, and says "You're the best!" She'd hug Bloom, but the red-head looks like she's about to catch fire.

Bloom sneaks into the library invisibly, only to see Lila coming to sit back down way too close to her brother. Seriously, she's practically sitting on his lap - this girl apparently has no concept of boundaries. As much as her brother is a cuddler when he's comfortable with you, he's stiff as a board and ever-polite about not wanting to be anywhere near you when he's uncomfortable. And right now he might as well be made of plywood.

Lila leans over, purposefully leaning further into Adrien, and asks "What's that?"

Adrien quickly plasters a grin onto his face, arms locking at his sides like he's holding himself back from pushing her off him - though his body language still screams 'save me!' - and says "Nothing, just stories about superheroes." And then Longg gasps, and quickly talks into her ear about how they need to get the book Adrien has in front of him, as well as find out where he got it.

Adrien couldn't possibly be more relieved when he sees Lila's green eyes suddenly flash orange - and, considering just how close she is, close enough that he can feel her breath on his face and smell her eye-watering perfume, there's no way he could miss it - and she says something about going to find another history book before heading off. And then his - amazing, wonderful, life-saving - sister appears in front of him, looking more serious than he can remember seeing her as a civilian bar Christmas Eve night. He immediately grabs her hand in both of his, saying "Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou! She's been giving me the creeps, Sis!"

Bloom growls lowly in the back of her throat, and says "That girl is so fake it gives me goosebumps. Has she tried anything, brother?" If Lila Rossi has done anything to her brother, she's going to find out exactly why she was chosen to be the Holder of the Dragon Miraculous - Dragons hoard what they covet, and Bloom hoards her little pieced-together family jealously.

Adrien shakes his head, saying "No, nothing." Nothing beyond making him more uncomfortable than he's ever been before. And that includes all the times Chloe's tried to kiss him.

Bloom pulls him from his thoughts, saying "Yet. That girl has no respect for personal space." Along with the detail that there's something wrong with her - every single thing her ghost said was about her, and not like Chloe either. Chloe's tends to go on about her appointments, or getting Sabrina to do her nails or homework. This Lila, though…she was thinking about everyone in a way where she exclusively benefited from them. She thinks it's perfectly acceptable to tell Rose she's been in a private jet with Prince Ali, or that she'd mention Nino to a bigshot Hollywood producer. She feels entitled to their admiration, their worship, and she doesn't care what she has to do or who she has to hurt to get it and keep it. And she's highly interested in Adrien - rich, handsome, well-connected, he could give her the life she feels she deserves. Honestly, it makes Bloom sick to her stomach - but she can't focus on that now.

Longg zips out of his preferred spot in her hair, and says "This is the book, Hatchling! How did you come by this, Cat Noir?"

Plagg flies out of his own spot in Adrien's jacket, and says "Finally, she was giving me the creeps! Hey, Longg!"

Longg asks "Plagg, where did you and your Holder find the Spellbook?!"

Plagg gasps, and asks "THIS IS THE SPELLBOOK?!" If this is the spellbook he was never allowed to see so he couldn't be forced to give away it's location...oh, oh no.

Bloom asks "Spellbook? Longg, what is this?"

"Take it to the Guardian, Hatchling! We'd thought it lost forever until Nooroo's Aura was sensed!"

Bloom quickly digs out a spare sketchbook she made a few days ago, an experiment that happened to go right in making something from just her magic, and says "Brother, I apparently need to borrow this. If we're right…this is big. Where was this?"

Adrien says "In a safe behind a picture of my mom…I didn't even know it was there until I tried to ask my father about a school field trip…"

Bloom waves a hand over the spellbook and then the blank sketchbook, and the two books suddenly start flipping through the pages too fast to make anything out…bar the change the second book is going through. It's getting bigger, the cover changing, colors appearing…in under a minute, there's a perfect copy of the Spellbook.

Once the copy is complete, and the original book stored safely in her bag, Bloom asks "Adrien, was there anything else in that safe? Anything at all?" If she's right…Kwamis, she hopes she isn't right. Unfortunately…she has a bad habit of being right when she wishes she wasn't. And Plagg's horrified expression isn't helping matters either.

Adrien quickly says "Meet me in the park, she mentioned wanting to talk more about being Ladybug's best friend there." Right after she saw a picture about a Fox Miraculous Holder named Volpina, actually.

Bloom nods, a stricken look on her face that seems glued there ever since he said where he found the book, and then she vanishes maybe a minute before Lila comes back - and, honestly, he should probably be mad about Bloom using her magic on Lila like that…but she was seriously creeping him out to no end. Seeing as it was harmless, clearly didn't cause any brain damage or anything…he figures he can forget about it, just this once. Especially given how guilty his sister looked just describing the ability.

Classes are a nightmare, between Adrien being acutely aware of the tension in his sister and Lila Rossi being in their class - and being extremely interested in getting as close as possible to him - and Adrien breathes out a large sigh of utter relief when the bell rings.

Bloom, for her part, is much more focused on the spellbook than Lila Rossi - normally, she'd be shooting the girl down after every lie that comes out of her mouth. Normally, she'd be calling her out for near-groping her brother. Normally, she doesn't have an ancient spellbook sitting in her backpack with the symbol of the Order of the Guardians on the cover. Normally, she doesn't have the potential bombshell of 'Gabriel Agreste is Hawk Moth' to deal with.

Bloom bolts out the door as soon as class is over, and Adrien can only hope whatever she needs to do with this 'Guardian' won't take very long. Because, as much as he tried to be friendly with Lila…something about her just rubs him the wrong way. Not even in the way where he finds someone annoying, he finds her downright creepy as hell! Even Plagg doesn't like her, and that says quite a bit since he's millennia old and has plenty of experience with all types of people.

Unfortunately, when he gets to the park, he sees Lila already sitting there, a fox tail pendant hanging around her neck.

Swallowing his nerves forcefully, Adrien sits down a few inches from Lila and asks "So, you know Ladybug? For real?" Somehow…he's not buying that. Maybe the detail that they all got their Miraculous' on the same day, and he's never seen Lila before today. Or maybe the detail that his sister doesn't like her at all, and the detail that she's Ladybug's best friend, closely followed by himself. Oh, and her grandmother was that Fox superhero he was on when she came over, and the pendant she's wearing is a Miraculous.

Yeah, right.

And then she starts trash-talking his Lady - thankfully, Bloom dashes over right then and there. Else he doesn't know what he'd do. Or Plagg, by the sounds he's making inside Adrien's coat.

Bloom practically hits the ground when she gets over to their bench, doubled over and catching her breath - how far did she run then?! - and Adrien asks "Bloom? What's wrong?"

Bloom takes a few deep breaths, saying "We've got…a problem. A big…big problem…"

Lila pastes a smile on her face, and asks "Bloom Peters? Lila Rossi, I think you're in my class…"

Seeing that his sister is catching her breath, Adrien brightly says "Hey, Bloom, you'll never believe this! Lila here says she's a descendent of a Fox superhero! Volpina! And this is her Miraculous!" The look his sister sends him is 'you've gotta be effing kidding me. Is she serious?!' - a sentiment he completely agrees with at the moment. If he hadn't been Cat Noir, maybe he would've bought it - Volpina being more powerful than Ladybug? Really?! - but he is Cat Noir and he happens to know that the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculous' are the two most powerful ones. He can poke so many holes in this particular story alone that he could make it look like Swiss Cheese!

After a moment, Bloom says "No, it isn't." She isn't even going to dignify that load of Kwami-crap with a rebuttal.

Bloom grabs Adrien by the wrist and pulls him up, the look on her face saying they need to go now, even as Lila yells "Yes, yes it is! It really is a Miraculous! Why don't you believe me?!" Her face immediately goes bright red with fury, her expression twisting into an ugly scowl, and she gives Bloom what's probably her worst glare possible.

Ok, yes she is. She's going to destroy that load of Kwami-crap.

Unfortunately for Lila Rossi, Bloom happens to be in a league of her own when it comes to bad looks. She gives Lila one of her own, and says "If that were really a Miraculous, you wouldn't be announcing it for the world to hear." She gets a dark look on her face, one Adrien would be legitimately afraid of if he didn't know she'd never raise a hand against him outside of training and when a mind-controlling Akuma's got to him, and hotly says "And, if you knew anything about Ladybug, instead of just trying to make yourself look better, you'd know she's extremely important. She can bring people back to life, she can fix the entire city in a matter of moments. What can your 'Miraculous' do, exactly? No, really, I've got to know."

Adrien would say she's being a little harsh, except both he and Plagg were thinking along the same lines - Tikki, Ladybug's Kwami, apparently created everything. Including the planet itself. It doesn't get much stronger than that - and Trixx, the Fox Kwami, apparently does Illusions. Useful, yes, but not as powerful as Creation itself.

Lila Rossi is, apparently, on some kind of trip if she seriously thinks he'd buy her spiel - admittedly, though, she is good at talking. Even Plagg's saying as much.

And then Lila yells "How dare you?!" And then she runs off, grabbing her stuff and taking off with her head down.

After they start heading down the sidewalk, Adrien asks "You think maybe you went a little overboard there, Sis?"

Bloom growls, and says "Maybe, but she needs a reality check. She's lied to literally everyone she's met, Adrien, all the rumors floating around the school today were utter crap. And we've got a lot bigger problems than Lila Rossi and her hurt feelings to deal with."