A/N: Heh, sorry for so much swearing lately... it just kinda happened. thanks to all readers and my reviewers! I guess I'LL have to decide how to get those two stubborn, thick-headded mules together on my own. (--sigh--) but ya'll asked for this! SO, On with the story!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or When Harry Met Sally. I might get away with owing Charlotte Bumbery, but she might actually claim to owning me...
The Last Line of the Last Chapter:
AH! FUCK! I told him about Alby offering me a job too, now he won't take the job, AND I'll never see him again….
- - -
So, the Gryffindors had finally decided how they would get those tick-headed people together, A COMBINATION! (A/N: that way all of us win.) And you know how they were going to do it, they were all going to do their own thing. Yep, those Gryffindors may be brave, but sometimes they are so stupid.
First there's Fred and George, they decided to write some fake love notes.
"You can write Brumbery's letter to Oliver, Fred," George said pushing a piece of paper to his brother.
"No thank you, I can't write like a girl!" Fred exclaimed.
"WELL, neither can I!"
"So what should we do then?"
"Rock Paper Scissors, and whoever looses has to write Bumbery's letter to Oliver. Deal?"
"Deal."
So the two played rock paper scissors, the first round was won by Fred, then George exclaimed, "BEST TWO OUT OF THREE!" So they played two more rounds and George won, to which Fred mumbled something that sounded like, 'I'm too nice if I hadn't let him play the other two rounds he would have had to write Bumbery's letter, he's a no good cheater, the meanie! He's a poop!'
So, George sat down happily to write his letter to Bumbery, and this is what he wrote:
Dear Charlotte, the most beautiful girl on the planet,
I'm not sure how to say this but, your eyes are sparkly, and celery green, they entrance me. I want you! I love you. I know it is unbelievable but… I love that you get cold when it's seventy one degrees out, I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich, I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts, I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's a wonderful day out. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of the life to start as soon as possible.
Love,
Oliver
Of course, we all know this is from When Harry Met Sally, but George hoped that Bumbery wouldn't recognize it. Of course Fred didn't do much better, his note looked something like:
OLIVER,
HEY I LOVE YOU, YOU GREAT THICK HEADDED BUMBLING IDIOT!
-CHARLOTTE
The twins rushed over to Lee, to show him their fine workmanship (well, that was the word they used), when Lee read them, he was too busy holding in his laughter, (whilst smiling) to tell them how stupid they were.
So, the twins being as thick-headed in the affairs of love notes, as they are, rushed off to give the letters to their respective recipients. But halfway down the hallway, they realized that they had the wrong letters, so they turned around and ran back, switching the letters, then headed off (once again) to give the letters to the recipients.
- - -
George walked into the library, hoping he's find Bumbery there. He walked up and down the aisles, no Bumbery. Finally he walked to the back of the library, where the study tables are. There he found Bumbery, writing in some book, he tapped on her shoulder.
- - -
(Bumbery's POV)
I snap my diary shut, and look behind me, I see George grinning at me. Suspicious, I think.
"Hello Dee."
"Hi Bumbery," He says all too cheerfully.
"What do you want?"
"Oliver-asked-me-to-give-this-to-you," he says in one quick breath, then runs down the aisles and out the door before I can even say, 'But…'
I look down at the envelope in my hand, it says, "To Charlotte" in big block letters, and there are many badly scribbled hearts around it. I sigh, This is definitely not from Oliver, but it'd be a waste paper if I don't read it, I think.
I open the letter and read:
Dear Charlotte, the most beautiful girl on the planet, (Yep, Definitely not from Oliver)
I'm not sure how to say this but, your eyes are sparkly, and celery green, they entrance me.(Pfft, yeah right) I want you! I love you.(WHAT? Back track here, did he just say that he loves me. LOVES ME? This is so NOT from Oliver) I know it is unbelievable but… I love that you get cold when it's seventy one degrees out, (Um, this sounds familiar, but that is true…) I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich, (No, it does not, Where did he get this from?) I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts, (Actually that's usually the other way around…) I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. (AH! This is from When Harry Met Sally, and since Oliver is a pure-blood, and his family aren't muggle obsessed, I'm guessing Fred or George wrote this, those sneaks!) And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's a wonderful day out.(Pfft. Where'd they get THAT from?) I came here tonight (He's not even here, AND it isn't even night time!)because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of the life to start as soon as possible.
Love,
Oliver
I crumple up the paper, then throw it in the rubbish bin, shaking my head at the stupidity of the Weasley twins.
- - -
(Normal POV)
Fred skidded to a halt, he had searched almost the whole school, then he remembered the quidditch pitch. He raced to the changing room, looking for Oliver. He finally checked the shower room, where Oliver sat, with all his clothes on, under the stream of water.
"Trying to drown yourself again, I see," Fred said, causing Oliver to jump.
"Wadudoinere?" Oliver asked, but he really meant, 'what are you doing here?'.
"Oh, Bubery asked me to give this to you," Fred left the envelope in the soap dish, then ran off, smiling.
Oliver shook his head, and picked up the envelope.
- - -
(Oliver's POV)
Hmm… this handwriting doesn't look like Charlotte's, I think whilst glancing at the envelope, the letters are all in block format, and I know for a fact that she has small, skinny loopy handwriting, oh god I sound like her stalker or something….I guess I should open it anyway.
When I opened it I found this letter:
OLIVER,
HEY I LOVE YOU, (no way! Charlotte did not write this)YOU GREAT THICK HEADDED BUMBLING IDIOT!(HEY! That's insulting!)
-CHARLOTTE
After I read it, I crumple it into a ball, then play hackey sack with it for a while, then finally, I decide to set it on fire, and to throw out the remains.
- - -
A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it turns out there will be about 16 chapters, one for each attempt at getting Oliver and Charlotte together. (and maybe an epilogue, so about 16 or 17 chapters then.) Tell me what you think!