Chapter 10

Okay, enough talk. Time for the villains to come. Morning broke through the windows as the Elric family and their guests awoke from their sleep to eat a hearty breakfast. Toast with jelly and butter, eggs, bacon, pancakes, and orange juice. Everyone was eating when Ed came in, looking haggard. He slumped in his chair.

"Mornin' dear. Well, you're looking tired."

"Ain't sleep well last night. Had that dream again. And my right arm hurts."

"Again? Well, I know what will clear that up! Some nice toast, spread with some sweet jelly."

'I'd like to spread some jelly on you an' eat you up, Winry."

He actually did, right on her lips. He licked it up like a sly cat and both started to just smear it all over their faces. Soon, they were both kissing like dogs in heat.

"Mommy and daddy are makin' babies again!" said one mini-Ed.

"No sex in the champagne room! Nixon is don' watching us!" said grandma.

That display of sexual activity was halted by a bell ring that shattered through the air. The Elrics stood up, with fear in their eyes. The townspeople dropped their activities and ran in their houses, like Death was streaming down.

"Oh no!" cried Winry. "Not today."

Izumi swung open the door and ran in. She quickly grabbed the two agents.

"Quick, come with me! In the church!"

"Why? What is going on?" asked Riza.

"They're coming! Now, on all days!"

Far and off from the town, a black carriage was riding through the desert sand, pulled by six black horses. It was like a ghost gliding in the air, bringing with it a thousand skulls each filled with souls being torched, sucking up anyone that dared to stand near its path. Inside of it, the carriers of Death were waiting to lick blood.

The black carriage hauled through the gates and ceased its dismal trek with a mighty halt. The horses neighed and shot wildly, barring their teeth. They had red, glowing eyes, and fire that torched from their great nostrils. The door creeeeeeeked open, an abyss ceasing all light. A cowboy boot reached out and stamped on the ground. The folks gasped, with women fainting and men shaking.

Then they came. A tall, dark man with sunglasses. A person with palm-tree like hair reaching down. A hefty goliath with long, aping arms. A sultry woman with hair covering one eye. Another woman, with kind, gentle eyes. And a little boy with strange extremities.

"Oh Lord," squealed one old man. "It's the Clayton gang!"

The Clayton gang was the worst, most destructive group of outlaws that roomed the 19th century. They always clothed in black, not because they mourned the loss of their victims, but because they saw themselves as Death itself. Seven shadowy and arcane figures, each together for the purposes of chaos.

Eric "the Boss" Clayton. He was a ringleader of the gang, and the most wanted man in America. He had been number one in the eyes of the law for eleven years, wanted for murder, rape, robbery, petty theft, grand larceny, simple assault, indecent assault, child pornography, lewd conduct, arson, acts of terrorism, destruction of government property, treason, public nudity, engaging in prostitution, witness intimidation, tampering of evidence, lying under oath, littering, and 392 unpaid parking tickets. He was known for his love of booze, women, and especially money. For that, the cops deemed him Greed.

Thomas "Fatman" Caines. Four hundred and fifty-five pounds of fat, with enough muscle to back it all up. He had been known to steal his victim's food before he crushed them to death, and then ate their bodies. Once, he consumed twelve cows and starved a whole family to death. He was known as Gluttony.

Hazel "Pretty Girl" Smith. She was once the East Coast's most famous prostitute and porn star, but there was a price for her goods. Her nails were tipped with foot long steel blades, and these blades were covered with cobra venom. She used her wicked charms to rope in the victims, then ripped them to shreds. She was known as Lust.

Mark "China Man" Cooper. He (or she, or it) was once the son of an American diplomat that was working in China. Cooper studied the ancient martial arts for years while he stayed there, became corrupted by the power he attained, and snapped the neck of his father when they got back, jealous of his other child, a straight and narrow politician. Then he side-kicked the guy in the chest so hard that his lungs were crushed.

For that, he was known as Envy.

Sarah "Harvard" Seeger. Now she was an oddity. No one really knew her past or where she came from, but as her nickname suggested, she attended Harvard, studying abnormal psychology and sociology. While there, she studied the personality of Greed as part of her dissertation, and took off with him for no apparent reason. Despite her kindly demeanor, she was skilled with two whips that she wielded. All the others names were taken, so she known as Sloth.

Johnny "the Kid." Now this was the saddest story. Johnny was an orphan that roamed the streets of New York, subsiding on garbage and table scraps. He was bounced from orphanage to orphanage, but no one wanted him because of the discoloration of his left leg and the two different colors of his eyes. So he grew to hate and distrust mankind, attacking anyone that approached him, everyone accept Sloth, who picked him up and treated him like a son. Because of rage, he was known as Wrath.

Okay, enough backstory. This isn't VH1. Greed stood smiling with his sunglasses gleaming.

"Okay, cows. Its time to pay up! Payment time! Payment time!"

"Can I go and eat some food, Lust?" asked Gluttony, licking his chops.

"Of course you can."

He got giddy as a schoolgirl, and ran into the homes, kicking down doors and grabbing the food from the pantries. People who stood in his way were quickly devoured by his ever-expanding mouth. No obstruction they threw at him could penetrate his thick blubber. It was too much!

Lust walked over to an old man rocking in his chair, holding a shotgun, waiting to blow her away.

"Keep away whore, or I'll pull the trigger!"

She just tilted the barrel away from her and rested her mountainous cleavage on top of the man's chest. He could feel the weight of the breasts as they rubbed against him, so soft and warm.

"Now you wouldn't shoot a little girl like me, would you?"

Her voice just melted the old timer away. If only his morning wood could work, but just then, the breasts shifted and knocked over a pot of coffee in his lap, burning him massively. He actually caught on fire and was running around as his son came running out the door with a knife in hand, ready to decapitate Lust's head. She merely stepped out the way and gashed him in the face, with blood spewing out in ribbons. It wasn't the cuts that killed me but the venom, as he seizured over and foamed at the mouth. Then, he little dance was done.

"Gimme your money!" demanded Wrath angrily. He held his hand out to female forty-something.

"Bite me, brat!"

That gave him an evil smile.

"Okay."

He pounced up and bit her right in the ear, a la Mike Tyson style. He forced his head back so forcefully that her entire face ripped off, showing the muscles underneath.

As she screamed in agony, Wrath spit the skin to the ground and smiled innocently at Sloth. Oh wait, that's what he had! Steel teeth!

"That's my boy," she said, patting him on the head.

Envy was busying fighting with six indignant men. They surrounded and rushed him at once. He rushed towards the two front men, leaping up, wrapping his legs around their necks, and snapping them like twigs. They didn't even see him, the four others, flip over them. All they felt was a woosh of air, and then a break of the neck, a rupture of a kidney, two lines of arteries broken at the base of the neck. Envy did all that. They felt nothing but the embrace of life's end. And he was still rapid enough to dodge a bullet from a Remington, could here the trigger squeeze. Kicked that guy in the back so heavily that he went sliding on the ground ten feet and crashed through a wooden door. The footprint was still embedded in the back.

The Clayton gang ransacked everything of value, which wasn't much. Greed was just happy he grabbed some porno pictures. Gluttony was sucking the milk out of a cow's utters. Tom Green would be proud. He sucked so much that the bovine became emaciated and died. Then they kicked down the Elric's door. The children were huddled close to their parents and Al, mostly crying. Grandma was dead as a doornail.

"If it isn't shorty man Ed," said Greed. You know what came next.

"I ain't short! Just compact."

The gang was walking around the dingy shack, looking for something to steal.

"Go away!" demanded Al. "You're not welcome here."

"Too bad. We came to collect a due from Mr. Elric. Seems that he's been behind."

Greed placed an arm around Ed, all buddy like. Ed didn't take the compliment.

"I told you. Money's been tight around lately, since mom died."

"Oh yeah," Envy said, matter-of-factly. "That fatass died a few years ago, I heard."

"Don't you talk about her like that!"

Envy spun around and landed a kick in Ed's stomach, which forced him to the ground. The family reacted in sorrow, their pain amplified by his. He coughed a little as Lust walked over in mock pity.

"Ah, poor little Elric. Can't even scrap two pennies together for his family. What is he every doing to do?"

She bent over and held Ed by his chin. He had a bird's eye view of that great rack of lamb, and was hypnotized, drooling. For a two whole minutes.

"Huh? Wa? What did ya say?"

Envy kicked over Lust like a tree and took her place.

"Listen Elric, you owe us big this time. But if you have no money, then I guess we'll take the next best thing."

He walked over to Winry and the children and looked them over. They held close to their mother.

"Scary palm-tree lady!" said one kid.

Greed bust out laughing.

"HA! HA! He said lady. Its funny 'cause you're a freak!"

"Why does everyone get that confused?"

"Cause your ugly," said Gluttony in the window.

"You shut up, fatty!"

Wrath was examining the perfect family.

"I always wanted a little brother or sister, so I could torture them! Or maybe I can have two mommies!"

He looked at Winry with a smile.

"Then they'd be lesbos," cracked Greed. "It's a funny word."

"I believe that the correct terminology is lesbian," exclaimed Sloth.

"I believe that the correct terminology is shut the hell up!"

"We don't talk like that in this home!" Winry snapped, standing up.

" 'We don't talk like that in this home!' Was I talking to you? Although, I like my women wild."

He was prancing around Winry, sniffing her hair.

"I think I'll have another trophy wife."

"Made of gold or silver?" asked Gluttony outside, carrying a calf.

"Go away."

Suddenly, the Greed was caught in the mouth by a right swing belonging to Ed's arm! He staggered back and regained his balance, blood trickling down his chin.

"Don't you touch my wife!"

That was answered by a hook kick to the head given by Envy. Elric spun through the air and land on the floor hard. That was followed by a kick to the back that sent him through the wall, in the kitchen, and crashing into the stove. Dazed out.

"Cause when you mess with Greed, you gonna bleed, sucka'!"

"Daddy!"

"Brother!"

"Edward!"

Her wrist was caught by Greed, and he twisted it hard.

"Ow! Let go!"

He got out the special. A Magnum .357 revolver, Dirty Harry style. The nozzle was a full five inches long! He knocked her out cold with the handle, and hoistered her up on his shoulders.

"Time to go!"

The Clayton gang all rushed out, with Al tagging behind. Gluttony blocked his path and bear-hugged him, still carrying that calf.

"Let go of me, ya' big galoot!"

"Certainly."

He body-slammed Al through the floor, then headed out the door. Before he did, he grabbed the entire breakfast table.

"Yoink!"

They all climbed in the unearthly carriage, with Gluttony hog-tying that calf on the roof. As it rode off, Ed was regaining consciousness when he realized.

"Oh no, Winry!"

"Daddy, they got her!"

He jumped right out the window and was hustling as fast as his legs could carry, towards a horse. He knew he couldn't catch that thing on foot, c'mon now! The animal galloped quickly under the anger of Elric, right behind the carriage. The Clayton gang was laughing when they heard Gluttony's voice.

"Hey, shorty Ed's followin' us!"

"Can't that kid take a hint?" asked Lust.

"I got the equalizer!" said Greed, as he lit some dynamite. He tossed it out the window as Ed was just getting closer. He saw the lethal package speed right at him, and yanked the horse back as hard as he could. The explosive combusted in mid-air, forcing Ed backwards and landing him lethally onto the ground, crackling two ribs. He was lucky. The beast's underside caught most of the blast, blowing a hole in it. Elric sat up, wincing in pain, as he watched the carriage stretch off into the heat.

"Winry"

His tears wetted the sand.