So yeah... It took me a month.
(Sorry)
I hope that you will be at least a bit more happy when I tell you this is one of the longest chapters so far.
I hope Sasuke is not too much out of character. But it's your job to judge;)
It almost feels as if his subconscious hears his unspoken wish to avoid visits in the strange world of dreams. It takes two weeks for Sasuke to wake up at the kitchen table.
He only blinks and leans his back against the wall with a mental sigh.
Why. Why does any surreal force keep throwing him into this inexistent world, into an inexistent reflection of his family house, his home where resides a lost soul of one of his parents? What for?
The theory that his father suggested crosses his mind, but he dismisses it almost instantly. He will not let some ridiculous ideas get into his head.
It would be enough to hit the back of his head against the wall behind him. The strange world would fade away and he would wake up in the old forest, exactly where he fell asleep just a moment ago.
The previous two weeks were a nightmare. He felt half-dead, constantly trying not to think about the last encounter with his father, failing miserably each time. When he got too tired of the nagging of his mind, he gave in and attempted to analyze their last conversation. To analyze Uchiha Fugaku's beliefs, his words, his behavior. Only to understand over and over again that it is impossible to get rid of the emotions that come back to him and cloud his vision. On one hand he hates them, but on the other he wants nothing more than drown into the swamp of hurt and despair and let them carry him away.
How immature of him. He certainly would take his time to hate this weakness of his if he was not so frustrated.
He can hear the wooden floor of the porch cracking under the weight of heavy steps. His father must be walking back and forth, maybe, probably thinking about his son's oh-so-mature recent outburst. He closes his eyes feeling how embarrassment takes over him for a moment. He made a fool out of himself. Just like the old times…
Not that old, really, but the line he drew between his past and his presence should have been defined enough to prevent such situation.
He stretches his legs with an audible sigh this time and bites his lower lip. He does not like to act cowardly, but he knows that he is not ready for another conversation. Not when he is going to be judged and treated like someone inferior. Someone who is not intelligent enough to understand the reality.
Should he even still resist? And what if…
What if his father is right? What if Sasuke really should not have the right to accuse Itachi of anything? Everything Itachi did, he did for the sake of peace. For the sake of hundreds, thousands of people to let them live. What is Sasuke's right to demand understanding of his individual tragedy? When Itachi wasted his own life and suffered even more than his little brother? When he managed to save life and sanity of thousands? What is one wasted life more…?
He shivers slightly when he registers a sudden weight on his left shoulder. He instantly turns his head and meets his father's eyes. They look at him wearily, but with concern.
Sasuke forces himself to look away and glues his eyes to the stove. He suddenly feels even more stupid than for the past weeks. When those two eyes penetrates the deepest parts of his soul.
His father reaches for a sitting pillow and sits down, facing him. They are close to each other, around half a meter apart and Sasuke has no idea if it offers more comfort or more anxiety.
"If you don't feel like talking, we can leave it for another time" his father's voice is quiet and strangely reassuring. Sasuke scans the man's casual position with a corner of his eye: with his legs pulled to his chest and his elbows resting on his knees, he looks like a regular human being. Gone are his authority, his social status, his intimidating aura. It should give him more comfort. But it does not.
He swallows slowly and pulls his legs back to his chest, sticking his eyes to his knees. He is probably unconsciously trying to separate himself as much as he can… Or something like that. His brows furrow on their own at the thought but he forgets them when his father's hand squeezes his bent knee.
"Sasuke?"
He watches the rough, darkened skin of his father's hand warily. Who is he to question a reasoning of an experience man who survived the worst Shinobi War and came out of it as a hero?
"When you…" he starts slowly." When you were forced to marry mom… What were you thinking?"
"When I married your mother?" his father seems taken aback.
"…yeah."
"I have always known that one day a bride will be chosen for me and I accepted it."
"But did you want it?"
"Did I wanted what?"
"To… marry her."
Sasuke is sure that the tender skin on his lip is going to be cut soon if he does not try to fight his new habit of biting it.
"Sasuke, do you think I did not love your mother?"
"No, that's not… No. I know you did… well, I suppose you loved each other. Or… liked. Tolerated… each… other. I mean… No, I didn't mean it like that" he wipes his face with his lone hand and sighs a bit frustrated with himself.
"Well… just so you don't need to suppose anything, know that I loved your mother. Not because of any obligation. And my feelings were reciprocated."
"Yeah…"
"What did you mean, then?"
"Did you want to have a family? It wasn't you decision, you had to get married and… so on. Have kids. Heirs. As a clanleader."
"Yes, I did want to have a family. And children on my own. Why do you ask?"
"…just wondered what our family was to you. Because I don't… really remember you being too happy around us. Though I guess I remember the last year the best, so… yeah."
The hand on his knee suddenly seems even heavier. Sasuke swallows discreetly and finally brings himself to look at the man openly. What he sees makes him even more uncertain. There is a deep contemplation in his father's eyes, along with a spark of offence and guilt.
"You think I did not enjoy our family life?" he asks with a voice strangely devoid of emotion.
"I think I don't remember you giving any signs that you did."
"What do you remember?"
"I remember… you spending a lot of time in your study and appearing only during meals… Or when you were coming back home late in the evening and not even trying to talk to us apart from greeting. Or… "he hesitates for a moment. "Or when you were telling me not to hug you when you were coming back home. Or when you were sending me to bed early because you needed silence to rest or you needed to talk to mom or to Itachi or Shisui in your study… Or when we were playing in the garden doing stupid things and having fun and you were coming out irritated, telling us to act like civilized children. Or when you refused to celebrate birthdays with us. It just…" he tries to find accurate words. "It didn't look like you were… happy that we were constantly around. You wanted mostly silence when you were home. Mother always said that you were just tired and you had a lot of work. And she was probably right… to some extent. But I've never really believed her."
His voice cracks a bit at the end and he hopes his father does not notice. But he knows it is not something he would miss.
"Right" his father lets out quietly, his eyes never leaving Sasuke's own. "Before I start something that will lead us to nowhere, tell me how it is related to our earlier argument. I fail to see the connection, but so far I noticed that what you say always has the second meaning. And is related to what was said by us during our earlier encounters."
"I've thought that your biggest regret was that by agreeing on the massacre you destroyed our chances to be a happy family. That you were always so busy and focused on your duties as the clanleader that you… neglected us."
"You think I neglected our family?"
"I…"
"Or maybe just you?"
Sasuke's mind is suddenly blank. He blinks and looks away, feeling a wave of embarrassment overwhelming him from the inside.
Is he really so blind, so arrogant that he takes every mistake anybody makes personally? He runs his hand through his hair, registering his lower lips giving in to his teeth. The metallic taste of blood fills his mouth… Will his lip still be cut in the real world?
"Sasuke?"
"Your turn" he says quietly. "I don't know what to add anymore."
"I would rather we finished this topic once for good…"
"I would rather we didn't right now."
"You started it, although indirectly."
"I shouldn't have."
"I think you should have. You had a reason to, whatever it was."
"I said what I wanted about our family life. I told you how my theories about you failed earlier. That's all. We have plenty of other things to talk about, so we should jump to the next one."
"It leads to the tender subject of you feeling inferior to your brother-"
"I don't want to talk about it" before Fugaku can say something, he adds: "Please, respect that."
His father keeps quiet for some moments before he squeezes his knee.
"Sasuke, look… Last time we spoke, there was too much about Itachi for me to ignore-"
"You really could try to be decent enough to respect my directly expressed request, you know."
"This is something that needs to be discussed."
"That you are ready for this doesn't mean I am" he looks at him and he does not even try to hide the pleading tone of his voice. "Please, don't push it."
"What do we have left, then?"
That is a good question. A very good question. How to talk about irrelevant things when you keep in mind huge, unsolved problems?
"I guess I could wake up and come back another time" he offers uncertainly.
"If… that's what you need."
"But that's not what you want me to do."
"I will leave this decision to you. If you leaving right now is going to save us from another argument, then I am more than willing to-"
"Fine, stop, we can talk about it now. Happy?" he asks irritated. He meets his father's contemplating eyes but cannot bear them for too long. He clenches his teeth, looking away. Fugaku lets out a quiet sigh, finally taking his hand from Sasuke's knee.
"Take your time" he says, slowly standing up.
Sasuke does not dare to look at him again. He only feels his father's fingers running through his already messy hair.
A wave of memories floods him instantly. Long forgotten memories of those fingers tenderly ruffling his hair or stroking his cheek furtively, before he could notice his father's presence. Moments when he would turn around to look at him – and see him already walking away with his back towards him.
It is enough to make him wake up.
When the kitchen appear the next night, he is not any more ready than the day before. Still, it would be… wrong to just leave. He is not some scared kid. He will not run away from his problems.
…of course that is exactly what he was doing for the last day (weeks), but let us not dwell into it for now. He is Uchiha Sasuke and he will not let his (stupid) emotions control him.
His resolve stays strong for ten seconds. Twelve at most.
With a deep sigh, he stands up and starts to look for his father. There is no one in the garden and all the screens are closed. He moves back to the corridor and takes slow steps towards their bedrooms. He looks distractedly into Itachi's room through the open door, but there is no one inside. He checks his own room next. Then, he sends an uncertain look to the master bedroom door and approaches it hesitantly. It is almost closed, so he pushes it delicately to take a look inside.
His father is lying on his side of the bed, reading… a book. It probably is a book, though Sasuke cannot be sure as the thing is invisible to him.
"You're back" Fugaku sates more than asks.
"Yeah" Sasuke leans against the doorframe, taking a look on the room. "What are you reading?"
"As far as I can tell… this was your math notebook. Or it was supposed to be your math notebook. There are mostly drawings inside" he audibly turns next pages, eyeing each one attentively. "I wonder how you could learn from something like this. There is hardly any quality content written down."
"I didn't learn from it" Sasuke murmurs, wondering if he should feel offended or embarrassed.
"Where did you learn from, then? I don't remember your marks being low."
"I just… listened to the teacher during class."
"And you didn't do any exercises?"
"I did. They're written down on these pages."
"Three exercises per subject at most. And most of them incomplete, surrounded with shurikens and blades."
"It was math, not history. I didn't need to write everything down. I remembered the things I needed anyway."
He is graced with his father's watchful stare.
"I saw your history notebook as well."
"…"
"I wonder how you managed to have such good marks when you hardly wrote anything down."
"I had… good memory."
"And good eyesight that helped you pass the tests, apparently."
"…what?"
"Come on, Sasuke. It's past your school days anyway."
"You think I cheated on tests?" he asks in ultimate disbelief. "What do you take me for?! How can you even…" he does not notice when he enters the room and stands above the now sitting man.
"Sasuke, it is only a fair assumption-"
"A wrong one" he almost growls. "How can you even say something like this? My notebooks aren't full of useless notes and you instantly assume that I cheated to get good marks?" he stares at him, not caring if he acts ridiculously. "I wasn't some idiot to look for recognition and praise by cheating. I earned every single one I got at school. It may have been easier to me than to some other kids in my class, I was lucky. I didn't need to spend hours over books to learn even more complicated things. But I did put effort into it. And I didn't cheat once in my life" he finishes with a rigid tone. "Is that what you've thought back then? That I cheated?"
"I wondered how you managed to get such good marks."
"So it didn't occur to you that maybe I was intelligent enough to earn them? And I don't recall you thinking that my marks were good."
"We did have one conversation about your marks when you started the Academy, not long before the massacre."
"Yeah. You told me that if I kept up like that maybe one day I would be as good as Itachi."
His father does not answer his words. He puts the invisible notebooks on the bedside table and sighs heavily, running his fingers through his hair. Sasuke steps back and takes a couple of steps in the room.
Great. He has been here for three minutes and he already throws accusations. Ho mature of him.
"Sorry" he mumbles, surprising himself. "It was uncalled for."
"It's fine" he is even more surprised hearing the answer. He looks over his shoulder to see his father visibly bothered by some thoughts, sitting stiffly on the mattress.
He slowly approaches the bed on his mother's side and lies down, breathing out slowly. He feels like he should say something more, but does not really know what should be said at the moment. Suddenly, the covers shift and his father's arm brush against his own.
"And… I agree that it wasn't fair of me to assume you cheated" at this, Sasuke's eyes open slightly wider than usually. Was that…
"Are you trying to apologize?" he asks carefully.
"…I guess."
Well… Wow.
"I… appreciate it" he says quietly.
Silence falls over them for some minutes but strangely, it is not uncomfortable. His father's arm touching his own is not uncomfortable, either.
It feels… good. It feels right.
"It wasn't uncalled for."
He turns his head to look at his father openly, his mouth slightly open.
"When you started the Academy, I assumed your marks would be lower than your brother's. When you proved me wrong, I started to look for an explanation. I wanted to observe how you gain them. But it all ended before I could make any reasonable judgment."
"My marks weren't lower than Itachi's?"
"No."
"…you didn't like that" he concludes, trying not to show that the idea hurts his feelings.
"…no, I didn't" he admits reluctantly. "But not because I didn't want you to be as good."
"So why?"
"I… hoped you wouldn't be this good."
"You denied it just a moment ago."
"No, it is not what I mean… Heavens" he murmurs under his breath. "I did not want you to be as good as Itachi. But not because I wanted you to be… inferior to your brother. I just hoped you would have a peaceful life. Being a genius is exhausting. The pressure comes from everywhere, the expectations keep getting higher and higher. I hoped for a better life for you, Sasuke. Better than the one your brother had" he finishes slowly, visibly hesitating for a moment. "Though now, after what I've heard from you… I guess you craved more for acknowledgement than for sense of security."
"…"
"You think that I loved you less than I loved your brother. I said it before, it may seem to you that I loved Itachi more because I spent time with him, I trained him, I talked to him often…"
"Why."
Fugaku does not answer right away. He puts his right arm under his head with his look glued stubbornly to the ceiling.
"I have thought that he needed me more than you did. He was older. And he struggled with his shinobi career. Not to mention that I was preparing him to become the next Uchiha leader. I taught him many things and it was mostly because of your brother's interest in politics, history and philosophy that it was a father-son bonding time more than a boring lesson" he stays silent for a second before asking again. "Were you jealous of your brother?"
"It never occurred to you?" Sasuke asks not bothering to open his eyes.
"No, it did not. I have always thought that you admire Itachi and consider him your role model."
"I did" he admits after a moment. "But at the same time I envied him. Everything he did was always good enough to get a word of approval from you and mother. He was a genius, everybody knew that. When I started school, the teachers called me Uchiha Itachi's brother. When I talked to our relatives, they praised Itachi and told me to work hard so one day I can be as good as he was. It was annoying. I did want to surpass Itachi one day, but… it didn't seem possible. I didn't really believe I could catch up to him. Not when nobody really believed I could. And besides…" he thinks carefully of his next words." I slowly stopped to believe that anybody would care anyway. Since what I considered to be my achievements at the time went mostly unnoticed."
"What went unnoticed?"
"The effort I put into training even before I started the Academy. My school marks. Me being the top of my class. The fireball…" he closes his mouth deciding against saying anything more.
"I remember your mother being very content about your school achievements."
"Do you?"
"Didn't she tell you?"
"…she mostly asked how my day was after school. If I mentioned good grades, she would offer something like 'that's good'" he pauses for a moment. "It's not that I wanted a party with presents for my results. I guess she just didn't want me to stop trying after getting one good mark. But I could get from her that's good, Sasuke at most."
"It's more than many people get, Sasuke."
"It was much less that she could offer. Much less than I've ever seen her offering Itachi. I remember her praising him much more than that when he mastered his hundred twentieth jutsu."
"…I think she didn't know you needed more than that."
"Probably" he mumbles, biting his healing lip. An unwanted mix of resentment and frustration creeps to him and he is not sure if he wants to push it away. "You can say out loud that I'm acting like an ungrateful brat."
"Actually, that is not what I am going over in my head right now."
"What are you thinking about?" Sasuke asks quietly. He can see his father's furrowed brows.
"I will tell you when I am able to put it into words."
He does not say anything, letting the silence fall once again. He feels… bad. Uncovered. Stupid.
He suddenly wish to take back his words about the lack of recognition. Why did he share one of his deepest regret with his father? What will he think of him, some teenager who complains about lack of a better praise? People do not have families, they live in pathology and he is hurt by lack of more expressive praises.
He sits up, his throat clenched with embarrassment.
"Sasuke?" a hand touches his back and he flinches, leaning away. But his father does not give up. He raises himself up from the mattress to sit next to him.
"It was stupid" Sasuke murmurs. "Forget what I said. It's ridiculous."
"Why did you say it then?"
Because it's the truth he thinks but would never say it aloud.
"I didn't stop myself when I should have."
"So what you said is true?"
Yes.
"I just wished I could make you two proud… and happy. But I couldn't, even though I tried. Hard" he clenches the covers in his fist, watching his knuckles turning even paler than they already were. "It was never enough."
"There was something about you that always bothered me" he hears his father's calm voice. "When you turned seven, you changed. I hardly ever saw you smiling or playing. You became quiet. You didn't talk much when we sat together… and if you spoke, there was something uncertain about it. As if you were… scared. Of saying something wrong."
"Why did it bother you that I stopped acting like a little kid?"
"Because you were a little kid and little kids aren't supposed to act quiet or to refuse to play."
"You were never happy when I was loud or wasted my time on irrelevant things. So… I stopped."
"I missed that" he admits.
"So why were you telling me to stop?"
He turns his head to look at his father wearily. The man's face seems more tired than he can remember from earlier.
"I guess I did not know that I should value it until it stopped."
"You don't seem to be a kind of person who doesn't think ahead."
"No, I do not. Or at least that is what I have always thought" he furrows his brows. "It's about control."
"Control?"
"If you put an effort into planning ahead, chances are that fewer things will surprise you. It's instinctive."
"It is?"
"Isn't it?"
They watch each other for long seconds before his father tilts his head to the side.
"Are you not like this, Sasuke? Don't you need to plan things ahead to avoid unnecessary problems in the future?"
"I suppose…" he hesitates. „But… It's impossible to plan far ahead in the future. You can never predict everything."
"You can try."
„Pointless. There will always be surprises on your way. Other people can think too. If they want to disturb your plan, they will manage."
"All you need to do is predict how they may disturb your plan."
"You can't predict everything. Sometimes you just need to go with the flow and take a risk. More often than not, it happens when you don't have much of a choice anyway."
"It hardly ever happens if you plan diligently."
"So you probably weren't diligent enough in your planning when you assumed I will stay childish despite your comments" he tries to keep his emotion away from his voice. "That is, if you thought that managing a relationship with your son needed planning at all."
"Is this an accusation?" his father asks warily, his eyes never leaving Sasuke's face.
"I guess…" Sasuke mumbles uncertain.
"I cannot admit that I didn't give us any thought. In fact, that time when you turned seven, the subject of our relationship bothered me very often."
"What conclusion did you come to?"
He watches him falling silent. They are walking on thin ice again. Sasuke is not sure when exactly it started, but the air in the room feels heavier with each passing second.
"Did you… come to any conclusion at all?"
"I waited."
"…what for?"
"I have thought that maybe one day you will... give up the act and be yourself once again. And even if you hadn't, I wouldn't have been able to do anything about it. That's what I have thought."
Sasuke's teeth clench at the answer. He looks away, feeling how anger rises within him once again. He should not let it control him.
"You were running away from the problem" he stated quietly.
"Perhaps. But…"
"But you didn't know that. There were always more pressing matters around. You've thought we have time. Didn't you."
"Sasuke…"
"So when it occurred to you that we do not have any more time, what were your thoughts?"
"…"
"You just ignored the subject."
"No, I did not."
"Oh right, you taught me the fireball jutsu."
"You went without sarcasm for a long time now, so I would appreciate if you tried for a bit longer. I understand that you are getting irritated, but try to keep yourself in check. Another argument will be of no use."
He stares at his father for a few seconds before sighing and pushing his anger back inside. It is difficult not to agree. He does not really want to argue either.
"As hard as it may be for you to realize, I did in fact try to spend more time with you and your mother. I was home more often. I am aware that I did not give you enough of my time, Sasuke. I am not denying it. But I could not make up for the lack of our time when I had less than three weeks left. I could only do this much."
Sasuke sits with his chin resting on his bent knees, his eyes almost closed. There is no need for his father to lie. The man understands what their conversations are about and currently, he is more willing to solve their conflicts than him.
"You wanted me to remember you as a good father who cared for me?"
"I wanted nothing more than for you not to ever doubt that I accepted you as my son. I had no doubts that it was impossible to change what you thought of me in three weeks. It would not be fair, anyway. You remembered me to be a father that I truly was. It would be selfish of me if I tried to change your impression of me when I earned it with my previous actions."
There is a somber note in his father's voice that makes him observe the man once more. Uchiha Fugaku is looking at him with peaceful contemplation, waiting for an answer to his words. Sasuke does not offer him any. He cannot think of anything accurate.
"Judging by the course of our conversation, I would say that I overestimated the impact my last weeks would make on you. Did I not?"
"What were you thinking when you were dying?" Sasuke asks silently.
"You need to be more precise."
He does not want to be more precise. He wants his father to read between the lines. So his anger does not get the chance to overwhelm him again.
"You had three weeks, fine. You tried, I can admit that I remember. What now?"
"…I don't understand."
And that's the problem, tou-san. You don't understand.
"Voice your thoughts, Sasuke. I cannot answer them if I do not hear them."
"Voice" Sasuke repeats, lying down on the mattress. He looks for proper words to express his thoughts. It is not easy. Not when he tries to avoid throwing accusations. "I will say that again. What now? When I remember you as a father who acknowledges me. You die. What now?"
"I am not… sure if I know what you mean."
"You created a plan. You found a way to stop the civil war and make Konoha citizens view the Uchiha clan as honorable at the same time. You sacrificed Itachi. You knew his life would be a shit from then on. He understood that as well."
"Sasuke, say it directly."
"Your plan didn't predict my input. That's why it failed. It never occurred to you that I may destroy it. That's where you miscalculated."
Irritation runs over his father's face but is quickly hidden.
"We have talked about it. I would have never imagined that… you could do what you did" he says slowly.
"And what did you think I would do?"
Silence. Sasuke waits. He waits for even two, three words of explanation. He almost craves for them to come.
"Answer me."
It is a strange feeling that fills his chest when Uchiha Fugaku looks away. Disappointment does not describe what Sasuke is going through. It is something stronger. Regret.
"Take care of your brother you told Itachi. You knew he wouldn't kill me" he sits up, closing the distance between them. "Itachi was supposed to live a difficult life. He would go through hardships and suffer consequences of someone else's actions. But I? How was I supposed to live? What was the plan?"
He stands up from the bed and approaches the door. Enough. He does not want to argue, but he will if he stays in this room for a minute longer.
"You've never really thought about what would happen to me after you're all dead, did you?" he waits. He looks over his shoulder to see his father in the same position that he left him. "Itachi was enough to worry about. You cared, I will… never again dare say that you didn't care for me. But you only had this much strength left. When Itachi told you that he would take care of me, did you think about it at all?"
"And what was he supposed to do, Sasuke?" his father stands up abruptly and approaches him, not bothering to hide his irritation this time.
"It's not about him right now, it's about you. What were you thinking? That I will be a powerless child forever?"
"I certainly did not think that you would become an excuse of a Konoha shinobi!"
"I'm not asking about what you weren't thinking. What were you thinking?"
"Nothing" he says through clenched teeth. "Unfortunately."
"Nice to see that we're on even ground again, the both of us recognizing our own regrets. Maybe we can talk next time we see each other. When I'm finally not so susceptible to your manipulation. Although it was nice to see you in a role of a caring parent who tends to his offspring with such delicacy."
"What the hell, Sasuke."
"Stop trying to control me!"
"Are you out of your- Will you assume that I manipulate you and try to gain something every time I act like a father should?! We are not having any duel here. I want to talk to you. We have a conflict that I hope to solve once and for good. Is this manipulation to you?"
"It-"
"Believe me when I say that I am very well acquainted with manipulation techniques after I managed the clan, the Police Force and the Konoha Forces during the war. But if you think that I am manipulating you when I try to be considerate of you emotions that carries you away much too often, then we will not come to an agreement any soon."
"You use it for your own benefit. You avoid subjects that are uncomfortable to you, taking extra time to wander where it hurts me the most. You know when I'm most vulnerable and you fool me into accepting your point of view and into revealing things-"
"Damn it, Sasuke, stop."
"Don't-"
"STOP!" he yells and Sasuke takes a step back, hitting his back against a wall. He swallows hard, watching his father – his opponent – with distrustful eyes.
"Don't yell at me" he manages to say through clenched throat.
"I am not trying to make you agree with me, Sasuke. As much as it's comfortable to me when I am in control, I acknowledge that people think differently and I do not push anybody to consider my opinion to be their own. Not even my own child. What I am waiting for is not your blind agreement that there is no mistake in my judgement, I want you to understand me. A false consensus is utterly useless."
"But it's all an act from your part!" Sasuke raises his voice. "You're pissed with me for what I did after the massacre, so why trying to hide it?!"
"I am not hiding anything, you already know about it. What would you have me do? Yell at you? Hurt you? Disown you?"
"It would only be logical if you're angry with me."
"It would lead us to nowhere. We would run here in the corridors one after another and yell curses all day long. Is that what you want?"
Sasuke does not respond. Because really, what can he say? He breathes out, biting his cut lip. It is happening again. He let his feelings rule over his mind.
Idiot.
"Sasuke."
He looks up slowly to meet his father's black eyes. They are strangely… contemplating.
"I know you spent almost three years with Orochimaru, but at some point you need to learn how to trust people again" Sasuke's eyes widen instantly. "Stop assuming that when someone is being nice to you, they act like this for their own benefit. I was there once. Recover from this state when you still can."
A soothing sound of wind dancing against leaves seems to carry his father's words when he wakes up.
Trust. He needs to trust this man.
But it's so damn hard.
To be honest, I kinda feel that I stretch it a bit too much. Another chapter that hardly let the action proceed... What do you think? Should I accelerate? Or would it be unnatural?
Fugaku slowly realizes that Sasuke has his own arguments that are worth of his consideration. He doesn't really admit it yet. Not directly. But he admits he didn't think much about what would happen to Sasuke after the massacre. Sasuke's outburst from the previous chapter made him think a bit deeper than before. But changing your beliefs is a slow process.
Sasuke on the other hand is trying to control himself. And it's HARD. Because to him, all they talk about is a mix of his unholy life and his complex, emotional trauma.
Thanks for reading:) take care!
P.S.: I have a nice but short one-shots about the Uchiha family on my account. If you're fans, check them out. I often write from Fugaku's perspective, so you will be able to see how I see him;)