As a ghost, Beetlejuice would have been able to cover the distance between City Hall and the Roadhouse in a short time. On foot, however, the journey was long and tiring.

He planned to use the mirror to get back through to the living world. First, just for fun, he'd lay waste to the Deetz's house. Then off to a bar – the Neitherworld didn't have drinks – and maybe a bordello or two to celebrate his homecoming. After all, you only live once!

"Or twice, in my case!" he sniggered.

After three hours of walking, with no Roadhouse in sight and his newly-resurrected body aching from fatigue, he stretched out on a roadside bench to rest. However, his rest became a doze, which became a nap, which soon became a deep slumber.

-------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------

Beetlejuice blinked. Or rather, he closed his eyes and then opened them. Everything moved so slow all of a sudden. He could almost separate the synapses in his brain. The world was white.

Well, this is a fine how-do-you-do.

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms as he turned to regard the seething spook he knew would be right behind him.

"Come on, Lyds," he chuckled. "You can't use the same bit. Especially since one: I know exactly what's coming so you lose the dramatic effect and two: you don't have the psychic pair to pull off my act."

She gave a dark grin. "Wrong and wrong. You may think you know, but I promise you that it's nothing like the torture you exacted on me. I don't plan on wasting time. And I assure you, I will indeed pull this off."

"Ooh, she talks all big. Keep that up and you won't be the only one who pulls something off."

"Still mouthing off. But look who's mortal now!"

"Kill me and you're dead for good."

"But hurt you, and the battered husband will cry for divorce."

"Yeah? How are you going to hurt me, cupcake? Another raging headache?"

Suddenly he let out a little cry of pain, more from surprise than real discomfort. Paper-thin slices slashed across his arms and face, caused by sheer energy carefully blasted off of her. Blood spattered his skin, but he only winced and smirked.

"Is that the best you can do, babes? A few cuts?"

More this time, decidedly deeper and tearing his shirt, cutting his torso.

"Gonna have to come up with something new, kid. This isn't working."

His sides were lacerated, the waist of his pants mutilated and blood oozed from the deep slits on his hips.

"I thought I told you-…" Suddenly he froze mid-laugh. The smirk on her face and where her eyes were looking was unmistakable. She was going after the family jewels next!

"Whoa! Ok, Lyds, chill out!" he cried, cupping with one hand and throwing out the other as he slowly backed away. "Just…just calm down!"

The smile got wider as she drifted closer. "I told you I wouldn't waste time. And since I'm not just toying, this is for real. No waking world to escape to; I cut you here and you get cut for real."

"C'mon babes! You don't want to do this!"

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I really, really do."

"Can't we talk this over!" he almost wept. "I mean, come on!"

"Sever the contract or I'll sever your-…!"

"OKAY!"

-------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------

"You know you'll never sleep safe again," Beetlejuice growled as he signed the document. He initialed under the section stating that the undersigned pledged never to wed again, the amendment stating that the undersigned pledged never to contact one another again, and the final postscript that stated that the undersigned would in face cease to remember one another once the contract was validated.

"Empty threats," Lydia snapped as she snatched the pen to sign. "You won't even remember me once this is stamped."

"She's right," the chaplain stated. "You'll never even remember meeting. Lucky girl." She groaned. "We still have to put up with you here."

"I'll find a way to get even. You'll get yours."

She smirked as she finished the final flourish. One of the woman's severed hands raised the stamp. Lydia could almost feel the fresh surge of blood bring life back into her body, almost see the Neitherworld begin to dissipate around her as the concerned faces of her loved ones began to appear.

"You're right," Lydia sighed contentedly, with a last defiant look towards him as the stamp fell. "I just got back what was rightfully mine."

The End