After the survivors had had their fill of food, they started looking through the bunker to see what else had been stored there. It was a narrow space but long, extending about thirty feet back from the door, and in one of the corners they were able to find something else of use.
"An AK-47!" Ellis yelled, picking up the gun off of the counter and swinging it around.
"Don't point that thing in my direction," Nick said. "If you're gonna point at anyone, point at Francis."
"Screw you, man," Francis said, but a chuckle indicated that there were no hard feelings.
"I can mow down all kinds of zombies with this thing," Ellis said. "Sweet."
"Leave it to the Soviets to make the best guns," Nick said.
With the new weapon in tow, the survivors gathered closer to the door, the better to hear any potential Infected threats.
"Sounds pretty dead out there," Zoey said.
"Good, then we have time to discuss something," Bill said. "We've been together for a while now and remarkably we've managed not to get ourselves killed. I have noticed one problem, and I think now is the best time to bring this up."
"Damn, I feel like I'm in the principal's office," Nick said.
Bill ignored him and continued. "I'm not naming anyone specifically, but we've been taking pot shots at each other for a while now. That in and of itself isn't the problem. I understand we need to blow off steam, given what we're dealing with. The problem is that we've gotten complacent and we've gotten loud. I just wanted to remind you that if we're not careful, our shouting is going to attract all kinds of Infected out there. I would like all of us to make a pledge to be quieter when we're roaming around out there."
"Sorry, Bill," Zoey said.
The other survivors also expressed their apologies, even Nick.
"Thanks," Bill said. "That's all I wanted to talk about. I think we all deserve some shut-eye."
"Who's going to take the first watch?" Louis asked.
"This door's pretty fortified," Bill said. "Probably not Tank proof, but we'll hear a bastard of that size coming a mile away. I think we can risk it for one night."
"Thank God," Coach said, and the other survivors agreed. Getting whatever sleep they could was something everyone looked forward to. They laid down on the cold floor, doing whatever they could to try to get more comfortable.
Just as Ellis was about to lie down, Zoey walked over, tapped him on the shoulder, and beckoned him to follow her to the other side of the bunker. Ellis followed warily, not knowing what it was she wanted with him.
"Everything okay?" Ellis asked.
Zoey put a finger to her lips to tell him to be quiet. "I wanted to talk to you," she said in a whisper. "If you keep your voice down, the rest of them won't overhear."
"What could they be overhearing?" Ellis asked.
Zoey responded by giving him a kiss on the lips. They wrapped their arms around each other, and just as Ellis was starting to get excited, Zoey pulled back and gave him a smile. "We haven't had a chance for privacy," she said. "Otherwise, there'd be more where that came from."
"You mean in a, like, 'repopulate the Earth' kinda way?" Ellis asked.
Zoey let out a brief chuckle. "Well, yeah, I guess," she said, "even though that's the most cliche thing you could have possibly said."
It was Ellis's turn to chuckle. "Sorry."
"No worries. Look, there's another problem. Say something did happen, and I ended up pregnant. I'd be a sitting duck for these Infected. So...even if I would love to do that, we can't unless we found some kind of civilization where we could reside permanently."
"Makes sense," Ellis said.
"I mean, that doesn't mean there aren't...alternatives to that kind of thing. It's just the privacy thing, like I said."
"Not even if we were, like, super quiet?" Ellis asked.
Zoey chuckled again and playfully punched him on the arm. "You weirdo," she said in an endearing manner. "I'm flattered by your enthusiasm, but there's no way I'd want to do something like that with guys like Nick and Francis within eyesight."
"Oh, yeah, good point," Ellis said.
Both of them started giggling that time. Zoey gave Ellis another kiss, which he welcomed gratefully.
"Just a little something to think about," Zoey said, rubbing the crotch area of Ellis's jeans.
"Aw, damn," Ellis said after noticing the expected reaction.
Zoey kissed him on the cheek and headed back towards the bunker entrance. Ellis followed.
"Goodnight," Zoey said to him, giving him a roguish wink.
"Night," Ellis replied, lying down and trying his best to ignore his excitement and fall asleep.
This was the first day in a long time where nobody had to be woken up prematurely from their slumber. The hard floor of the bunker had done a number on their backs, but the survivors were more well-rested than they had been in a long time.
Bill began preparing breakfast with some dehydrated meals.
"Didn't take you for a chef," Francis said as he watched Bill start preparing food for the eight survivors.
"This is hardly cooking," Bill said. "Most of this shit's just add water and nuke them in the microwave. The rest of you probably aren't old enough to remember, but I didn't grow up with a microwave in the house. My mother would always have to cook on the stove. We're lucky to even have power in this bunker, let alone a microwave, or none of this food would be edible."
"I'm so fucking hungry," Francis said, "I think I could wolf down about five of these meals."
"You're only getting one," Bill said, "as is everyone else. I was okay being generous with last night's dinner, but we don't know how long we need this shit to last."
"Uh, not sure if anyone else has realized this yet," Nick said, "but I need to relieve myself, and there's no privacy with that toilet." Nick pointed at a corner of the bunker where a toilet had been installed.
"What's the matter?" Francis asked. "Is your dick too small for your ego to handle?"
"Fuck off," Nick said. "All I'm saying is I don't want anyone taking an unsolicited look at my business."
"You're a dude," Ellis said. "Just pee standing up. No one's gonna look."
"If it was 'just pee' that I needed to do," Nick said, "this wouldn't be an issue."
"Just use the toilet and shut the fuck up," Bill said. "Trust me, nobody here wants to look."
The survivors started laughing, sans Nick, who merely sneered.
"Alright, fine," he said, walking over to the toilet.
The rest of the survivors all took their turn at the bathroom, and by then the dehydrated meals were ready to eat. The survivors gathered in a circle with their meals and dug in.
"Damn, this almost feels like Thanksgiving," Ellis said. "The eight of us, eating together in the closest thing we've had to a real place to live in a long time."
"That's so sweet of you," Zoey said, kissing Ellis on the cheek.
Nick pretended to gag, which everyone else pretended to ignore.
"It is nice knowing we don't have to go anywhere today," Louis said. "I think I've lost about thirty pounds since this damn Infection started. This button-down shirt used to fit snug, now look at me."
The survivors looked Louis over and saw that his shirt was not only much larger on his frame, but it was tattered and stained because of the events of the apocalypse.
"Damn, we're all looking a little thinner," Coach said. "I was definitely the fattest person here when this started, and I even noticed that I had to tighten my belt a few notches."
"I mean, if you think about it," Rochelle said, "this is how our ancient ancestors lived. They didn't rely on the grocery store for their food. They didn't have a nice, insulated home to sleep in. They had to live off the land, which is kinda what we're doing now. No wonder we're all thinning out."
"If my old gang could see how I ended up," Francis said, "they'd be surprised. I was one of the laziest assholes I knew before this shit started."
"I can't believe myself either," Coach said. "I was so out of shape, I could barely last a practice session with the high school football team I coached. I'm way tougher now than I was back then."
"We've all changed a lot," Zoey said. "Everyone's priorities had to be reset. The Infection has transformed everything."
"Here's something I don't get," Nick said. "When this shit first started, we were hearing from the government that they were looking into a vaccine. Why the fuck did that never lead to anything?"
"Not sure what you mean," Bill said. "Care to elaborate?"
"I mean that every other God damn time we had to deal with a mass pandemic like this, the government tries to find a way to fix the damn problem. This Green Flu hits, and we get total silence. Nothing from the CDC or the FDA or whatever the fuck acronym you'd expect to hear from. Doesn't that bother you?"
"I always assumed the infection spread too easily for any of that stuff to have an effect," Louis said.
"Bullshit," Nick said. "You know, before civilization itself went to Hell, I was hearing chatter about some theories. Some people say that the government was developing a biological weapon to use in Iraq or Afghanistan, but the shit got out and they needed to ignore it to cover up what they were doing."
"That's insane," Rochelle said. "Why would the government choose to do nothing?"
"You know how much fucking money something like that costs?" Nick replied. "Developing a cure for this infection would have meant that all those resources were fucking wasted. They sank billions into this project, maybe trillions, but if a cure was known, the return on investment would have been zero."
"So the US decided that a zombie apocalypse was the better outcome?" Zoey asked.
"They didn't really understand what they were creating," Nick said. "They thought all it did was kill people. The 'zombification' side effect was unintended, and by the time they realized what the problem was, it was too damn late to fix it."
"Man, Nick," Francis said, "that is the weirdest fucking thing you've ever said, and that's saying something."
"Wake the fuck up, people," Nick said. "There's a real problem happening right in front of you. You can't just ignore this shit."
"We are going to ignore this shit," Bill said, "because it is, as you just said, shit. The country I fought for would never have done something like that to its own people."
"Fine, Bill, I get that you need to believe that about America, given that you gave up your fucking life for this shithole country, but you can't ignore some of the shit we've done. We locked up Japanese-Americans during World War II. We were researching eugenics until the Nazis made it politically unpopular. We're the only damn country to ever launch a nuclear weapon, and we did that shit twice. You think this is the 'land of the free, home of the brave,' or whatever, but we're no better than the rest of the shithole countries on this damn planet. Pull your head out of your ass, take a look around, and wake the fuck up. Do you think the shit we're dealing with now is because our government had our best interests in mind?"
Bill looked about ready to deck Nick, and everyone else was frowning as well, but there was one point Nick made that had everyone thinking. Clearly, the apocalypse they found themselves in represented a failure on a systemic level. While they could not agree on what precisely failed, no one could ignore that a huge failure had occurred somewhere down the line.
"Son," Bill said, "you're one of the most unlikeable people I have ever met. But even though I would love nothing more than to punch you so hard that I knock your two front teeth out of your mouth, I'm not going to do that. You have a big fucking mouth, but that's all it is. Your actions speak louder than your words, and what I've noticed since meeting you is that when the chips are really down, you're just as ready as the rest of us to keep fighting. If I couldn't see that in you, I would have left you to the zombies days ago."
"Damn, I guess my poker face wasn't as strong as I thought," Nick said. "Yeah, I get that I'm an asshole, but that's just how I deal with shit when it happens. You'll never hear me say this again, but I'm glad I ran into a bunch of scrappy guys like you. There's no way I would have lasted this long without you."
Everyone remained silent as those words sunk in, and the frowns from earlier broke into small smiles.
"I don't believe I'm about to say this," Ellis said, "but, like, I'm kinda bored. We got any board games or anything in here?"
"No," Louis said. "Nothing but essentials down here. I'd love to pull out Monopoly, but there isn't anything like that down here."
"Not even a deck of cards?" Ellis asked.
"Not that I could see," Louis replied.
"Damn," Nick said. "I used to be a mean poker player. Almost lost an eye once because I played too well against the wrong people."
"Sure you did, Nick," Rochelle said.
"I'm fucking serious," he replied. "It was a bar in New Orleans during Mardi Gras, and...ah, fuck it, who am I even trying to impress? I usually use this story to pick up girls."
"Now that I believe," Rochelle said with a chuckle.
"We need to make up our own game, then," Ellis said. "Something we don't need to set up or nothing."
"What are we gonna play, Ellis, 'I fucking Spy?'" Nick asked. "I spy with my little eye something stupid. Oh wait, that's you."
Rochelle slapped Nick in the back of the head. "Jesus, Nick, I get you can be acerbic, but you didn't have to go that far."
"Nah, Rochelle, it's okay," Ellis said. "I know he didn't mean it."
"Still," Bill said, "I think we should limit the sarcastic remarks. Playing a game to pass the time isn't the worst idea. We just need to figure out what we're gonna do."
"Ooh, I got it," Ellis said. "My buddy Keith and me would do this when we had nothing but time to kill. It's called 'Would You Rather.'"
"That game's for third graders," Nick said. "'Would I rather play this game or blow my fucking brains out?'"
Rochelle slapped Nick in the back of the head again. "If you don't want to play, think of an alternative yourself. Otherwise, we're doing it."
"Fine," Nick said.
"Okay, okay, I'll go first," Ellis said. "And my first question is going to you, Nicholas."
"Okay, fine, I'll play along," Nick said. "Just please don't ever call me 'Nicholas' again."
"That's fair," Ellis said. "Alright, Nick, would you rather...kiss a Spitter or a Witch?"
"Oh, so that's what we're doing," Nick said. "Shit, this is a tough one."
"Tough?" Francis asked. "You remember what happens when you get anywhere near a Witch, right?"
"Yeah, Francis, I remember. The problem is that Spitters are not only ugly as fuck, but their spit is literally acidic. I'd rather kiss a Witch quick and hightail it out of there before she can tear my throat out."
"Okay, then," Ellis said. "Nick, you gotta come up with the next question."
"Well, shit, alright then," Nick said. He looked around the circle of survivors and found his target. "Zoey, we'll go with you. Would you rather have sex with me or Rochelle?"
"Rochelle," Zoey said without a second of hesitation. "In fact, I'd sleep with all of you before I'd even begin to consider you, Nick."
Ellis started to blush, and the rest of the survivors started laughing. Even Nick joined along with a chuckle or two after realizing he'd been bested.
"You're up, Zoey," Ellis said.
"Alright, I need some time to think of a good one, hang on." Zoey began thinking hard about the question she would ask and the person she would ask it to. The rest of the survivors waited with bated breath. "Louis, I'll go with you," she said. "Would you rather snort cocaine or inject heroin?"
"Um...what?" Louis asked.
"You're one of the most straightlaced people here," Zoey said. "Well...maybe besides Coach, but still. I'd love to know what your vice of choice would be."
"Oh, okay, I guess that makes sense." Louis gave the question a lot of thought. "Well...they're both dangerous as hell, but I have to lean towards coke because I'm deathly afraid of needles."
"You? Afraid of needles?" Francis asked. "How much fucking adrenaline have we taken since coming down here? You didn't have a problem with any of that."
"Well, those were do or die situations," Louis said. "If I have no time to think about what I'm doing, that's one thing. Otherwise, I get all tense and nervous, and I can't even look at anyone drawing my blood or anything like that."
"Okay, fine," Zoey said. "It's the white powder for Louis. You can pick the next question."
"Francis," Louis said, "would you rather sleep with me or Nick?"
"Hey, asshole, you stole my question!" Nick yelled.
"Look who's suddenly invested in a game made for third graders," Rochelle said with a sneer.
"Damn, got caught up in it," Nick said. "Whatever, Francis, I'd love to hear your answer."
"Shit, gimme a minute," Francis said. "This is a hard one."
"Yes, that would be one of the requirements," Nick said. "If you don't have a hard one, it's not fun anymore."
The survivors laughed at one of the few actually funny jokes Nick had made up until now.
"Well, you know what, I think I have an answer," Francis said. "I'd sleep with you, Nick, because I know you'd fucking hate it."
"I might not hate it as much as you think I'd might, Sweet Cheeks," Nick said, blowing a kiss in Francis's direction.
"Aw, hell, is it too late to change my answer?" Francis asked.
"In a game purely about hypotheticals?" Louis asked. "No, obviously you have to stick with your first imaginary choice."
"Okay, okay, fine, I get the picture," Francis said. "I'm up, right?"
"Yep," Ellis said.
"Fine, let's see, who hasn't gone yet...okay, Rochelle, I've got one for you. Would you rather be bitten by a werewolf or had your blood sucked by a vampire?"
"Oh, shit, didn't expect you to ask the fantasy question," Rochelle said.
"My gang and I used to watch creature features all the time," Francis explained, "on nights where it was too stormy to ride."
"Okay, fair," Rochelle said. "Before I answer, I have a couple questions for you."
"What?" Francis asked, then turning to Ellis. "Is she allowed to ask questions?"
"If it helps her decide, then yeah," Ellis said.
"Fine, what are your questions?" Francis asked Rochelle.
"First of all, is there a full moon out?"
"Oh, right, werewolf. Um...yeah, that makes it more interesting, right? Full moon."
"Next question, then. If I get bit by a vampire, do I get turned into a vampire?"
"Uh...yeah, sure."
"So the real question here is which freaky-ass monster I want to become. In that case, give me a werewolf bite any day. It's too easy to die as a vampire because, you know, sunlight and all, whereas werewolves are only killed by silver bullets. Yes, I'm going with the werewolf choice all the way."
"Damn, okay then," Francis said. "It's either Coach or Bill left."
"Fine then. Coach, would you rather...never be able to eat again or never be able to sleep again?"
"Huh, that's a toughie," Coach said. "Um...I have some questions for you now. If I can't eat again, can I still feel hungry? And if I can't sleep, can I still feel tired?"
"Yes to both," Rochelle said. "You either spend the rest of your life hungry or you spend it tired."
"Ah, hell, that makes it way harder," Coach said. "I need a second to think about this…"
"Take your time," Rochelle said.
Coach contemplated the question for a long while, then finally came up with an answer. "I mean, when you think about it, we're always going hungry in this apocalypse. I think I'd rather not be able to eat again."
"You'll start losing a ton of weight, too," Nick said, "so that's good I guess."
"Sure thing," Coach said. "Okay, Bill, you're the last one up."
"Uh, not quite," Ellis said. "Bill's gotta ask me the last question, then the round's over."
"Oh, right," Coach said. "Anyway, Bill...hm, not sure what to ask yet…"
"Maybe sometime today, brainiac," Nick said.
"Okay, Nick, would you rather I punch you now or later tonight when you're sleeping?"
"Easy, you two," Rochelle said. "Take your time, Coach."
"Okay, Bill, would you rather die now, knowing the pearly gates are waiting for you, or die later and not be sure?"
"Wow, that's actually a really good question," Bill said. "I need some time to sit with this one."
"Nice one, Coach," Zoey said. "That's easily the most philosophical question yet."
"Really? So choosing which two of us you wanted to fuck wasn't philosophical enough for you?" Nick asked.
The survivors chuckled, all except Bill, who was waiting.
"You know what, Coach?" Bill said. "As much as I may hope those gates are waiting for me on the other side, I wouldn't die now. The whole point of everything we've been doing is survival. Taking that way out is just not appealing to me, so I'll live out my life and leave the question of heaven up to God."
"Excellent answer," Coach said. "Proud of you, Bill."
"Thanks, son," Bill said. "Okay, Ellis, you said I had to ask you a question."
"Yes, sir," Ellis said. "Hit me with a good one."
"Alright, then," Bill said. "I have a good one. Would you rather go back to the life you knew before the apocalypse, before meeting any of us, or would you choose to keep things the way they are?"
"What?" Ellis asked. "That's a hard question. How do I even begin to answer that?"
"Honestly," Bill said. "I want to hear your opinion."
"Well…" Ellis said, looking directly into Zoey's eyes. She was staring right back at him, biting her lip in anticipation of his response. "So...could I, like, go back to my normal life but still try to go out and meet you guys?"
"That doesn't make sense," Bill replied. "What would motivate you to seek us out? From what you've told us, you've got your house and your work as a mechanic. If you went back to how things were, there's likely no way you ever would have met us."
"Ah, see, that's the problem," Ellis said. "I love all of you guys so much. Even you, Nick. I don't know if it's just the fact that we've been together all this time, fighting zombies and shit, but we're all real close now. It's like...you guys are my family, and I couldn't give that up, even if that meant we had no more zombies. So...yeah, my answer is let's keep it how it is."
"Oh, Ellis," Zoey said, tears gathering in her eyes. She gave him a hug and kissed him tenderly on the lips. "That's so sweet of you."
"Uh, you realize it's a game of hypotheticals, right?" Nick asked. "It's not like if Ellis chose the other option that anything would have happened."
"That's not the point," Zoey said. "The point is that Ellis just said meeting us was worth a zombie apocalypse, and I can't think of a sentiment sweeter than that."
The survivors all reflected on what that meant, and also took that moment to think about everything that had happened in their lives that brought the eight of them here, in a homemade bunker beneath an abandoned city. Whatever chance had brought the eight of them together, they now had a bond that they refused to break for any purpose. That resolve to stick together as a family was the reason that they had been able to survive this long, and all of them knew at that moment that this was their best chance to rebuild whatever semblance of normal life they could.