You're the best I ever had by far
Never was I good at telling lies
I have never gotten this far
I'm wishing upon a star
Cause now I don't know who you are
So I'm wishing
That someday you'll be
Knocking at my door
And everything will be the same as before
They say that time will heal this scar
But I still long to be back in your arms
Never could I read between the lines
I have never gotten this far
I don't know where you are
I have never gotten this far
I don't know who you are
So I'm wishing upon a star…
And we'll belong together
Again…
Mikan Sakura stuffed her head inside her locker and shouted as loud as she can. People passing by were all startled but then shook their heads when they realized it was only Mikan.
Here was Mikan, a qualified junior in Alice Academy but still unable to cope up with the things going on around her. Her best friend, Hotaru Imai, kindly termed it as STUPIDITY. Many others agreed. But Mikan tried her best to prove them wrong. She was still here and she wanted to show them why. But how could she when every teacher seemed to be getting more and more like Jin-Jin, a nickname she called her stern teacher back in 4th grade.
And a while ago in her art class, she even gets blamed for something she didn't even do!
Sumire Shouda, a girl Mikan had known since she came here in Alice Academy, loved still to play tricks on her. With the help of her remote-control-Alice friend, she threw a paint balloon (which they were using to do their artwork) at her. Mikan was bulls-eyed straight to her face. Furious, Mikan picked up a paint balloon and was about to throw it at Sumire. But suddenly, her teacher, Ms. Fujiwara, picked her up by the hand. When Mikan looked at her, she was surprised to see her all covered in orange paint. What Mikan didn't know was that the remote control kid, suddenly outbalanced (they were sitting in stools), mistakenly threw a balloon at their teacher. When Ms. Fujiwara looked up, she saw Mikan coincidently holding a paint balloon in her hand. Naturally, she blamed Mikan for the mishap. Teachers in any high school aren't necessarily known for their fair and just treatment.
Mikan gave out a long sigh. She squatted down on the floor and buried her face in her hands. She felt like crying. How come awful things always happen to her? "Life is so unfair." Mikan muttered to herself.
Suddenly, the downpour of rain on Mikan's day just seemed to have gotten heavier.
"So, Sakura, what did the teacher make you do now?" Sumire appeared with her seemingly identical best friend as if they were dim-witted clones.
"You are pure evil, Sumire!" Mikan immediately got up to her feet. "Because of you, I have to clean the ART ROOM ALL ON MY OWN! Do you know how dirty the art room gets at the end of the day? Do you, huh? DO YOU!" Mikan waved her fist in the air and looked like she had grown fangs and was on fire. But Sumire just laughed.
"Well, I guess you'll just have to tell me then."
Mikan wanted to strangle her there and then.
But suddenly, a commotion was heard from the people around Mikan. Everyone started whispering in a very hushed tone. And some even dared to speak out some rumors, but inaudible at Mikan's hearing distance.
Mikan wondered what all the hush-hush was about.
Suddenly, she saw what the ruckus was all about and immediately regretted even looking.
It was Natsume Hyuuga coming their way. With Ruka Nogi. Only Ruka. No one else. There was no more posse where there used to be. No more love-stricken girls trailing behind. And no more nothing where people used to be so in love with this pair.
Natsume had come a long way since Mikan first met him. And since she last seen him…up close, that is. He'd had a drastic change.
He had gone from bad…to worse.
Natsume was no longer the bad boy every girl still dreamt of. He was a young man now anyone feared. Even Sumire, who was once the president of their fan club, was trembling beside Mikan.
Natsume looked worse than ever. His eyes had dark circles around them and had bags underneath. His gaze was menacing although he often seemed to look in a far-off stare. His lips were tightly shut in a fine line. And his body was much thinner although much taller.
Even Ruka never smiled again. But his eyes…his eyes were sad. And Ruka never talked to anyone else again except Natsume. And his animals, of course. But one time, when Hotaru caught Ruka once again in the barn with the animals, he wasn't anymore the cheesy adoring animal-lover. He just sat there patting the animals and smoothing their fur.
The two had really managed to detach themselves totally from the world.
"You don't know anything... You don't know a thing of what you're saying!"
Mikan's mind shouted the words Natsume had said to him a few years before…back when Mikan knew who he was…back when Mikan stood always beside him. Those words… Those hateful words…
"I hate you. You make me so miserable…so leave. Just leave me alone!"
Natsume passed right in front of Mikan now. But it was as if he didn't see anything. He didn't even took notice of the people moving away to let him pass. It was as if he was just a ghost. A ghost I cared about.
Something inside Mikan was hurting. As Natsume passed by there and acted as if he didn't even see her, that hurting feeling just seemed to grow and grow. It became much harder to deal with as time went by. They said that time would heal everything. But it didn't. It just made it worse. Sometimes at night, Mikan would even fall asleep crying. Crying about something she doesn't even understand. Crying about a feeling she doesn't even know what. And she would have endless and repeating dreams of Natsume and how she used to try to be with him always, never leaving his side.
Oh, how she loved to tag along Natsume and Ruka everywhere they went. She would just sit there talking about everything! Anything under the sun! And then Natsume would stop reading his manga. Mikan thought he'd start listening to her but then he'd suddenly tell her to get lost. To go away. But Mikan never did. Until one day, she listened. She got lost. She went away. She went out of his life forever.
Mikan had forever regretted that.
But was she to do? Stick by him even though he clearly wanted her gone? He was so desperate for her to leave him alone, he almost cried! He obviously disliked her so much…
Mikan felt tears swelling up her eyes again. And her heart started thumping so hard in her chest.
"Natsume…" Mikan couldn't help whispering under her breath.
Suddenly, Mikan saw Ruka look at her from the corner of his eye! HE did! They were way past Mikan now and Mikan could only watch their retreating backs. But she was sure she saw Ruka look at her! She was sure of it! Ruka used to be a very good friend of hers and she always wanted Ruka to smile. That's why it broke her heart when she realized that Ruka never smiled again since the day she left…
Stop thinking about it! Mikan ordered herself.
But anyhow, she was still sure she saw Ruka look her way.
Oh, how she misses them so much…
Mikan sighed once more.
But right now, she can't be thinking of such things. Because right now, she has a whole room of junk to clean. So she better get going before she also misses her dinner.