Author's Note: Thank you so much for all of your reviews!
Dear Kate,
It's been two years. I'm finally getting used to it, even though I don't want to.
The director finally fired Gibbs. Oh yeah, we got a new director. Gibbs was fired because instead of coming close to the boundaries, he started crossing them further and further. It's strange to say it, but I'm in charge now. I have McGee and Ziva on my team and I hear that I'm getting a new probie.
It's hard, even now, to think of NCIS without you. I remember all those times we fought. I wish I could take my stupidity back. I wish I could go back in time and tell you right from the start that I loved you. I tried dating since you died, but it hasn't worked out. I always think about you.
I almost wish I never knew you. That way, I wouldn't feel any of this. I then realize that when I think about my life, I can't explain it without you. I don't have a life without you.
Every day, as I walk into the office, I feel the stares in the back of my and I see as they hastily turn away. You see, since you died, I've been different. I don't really know how, but I guess that those who stare every day, they know. They know that the dark circles under my eyes are from you. The headache from my hangover, that's you too. The horizontal scars on my wrists are from you.
I miss you. I tried not to write it, but I couldn't. I couldn't lie to you or myself.
I love you.
Sincerely,
Tony
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