WE welcome you to part 2 of the Von Bolt-in-Hell mini series. Just FYI, WE will only do chapters like this every now and then, so don't expect any patterns, 'cause they'll be comin' in at random. Anyway, this one is a somewhat original idea. WE'D also like to thank Hiro Konobu, The One True Koneko and Yakisoba1234567890 for submitting reviews. WE must admit, you guys rock! WE do not own Advance Wars, but Sonja gave us a special Yellow Comet uniform. Now WE only need an Orange Star one.
Chapter 4
Von Bolt in Hell 2
We join our favorite Darth Vader-wannabe (You know, what with the life support stuff.) in hell, looking around the place to see if he can find any of his friends in hell. After about 30 minutes, he notices a group of Black Hole soldiers. "Hey, guys! It's me, Von Bolt!" "Von Bolt?" The leader troop said angrily. "You were the guy who said that if we followed you, we'd have a better life. Well look what happened." "Uh, maybe we can forget that and try to escape so we can appear in Advance Wars 4." Von Bolt nervously said. "Nah, we've given up on that. We all have realized that if we come back, those other COs are just gonna come and kill us again." One of the soldiers said. "How do you know that will happen?" Von Bolt asked. "Let's face it. It always happens. It's happened in Advance Wars, it happened in Advance Wars 2, and it happened in Advance Wars Dual Strike. What makes you think it won't happen again?" The lead soldier asked. A little soldier then said "Hey, commander, what do we do with Von Bolt?" "I say that we beat him up for getting us sent to hell." The leader said. "Yeah!" all the others yelled. "Oh shit…" Von Bolt muttered, as the chase began in the style of a cheesy 80's chase montage.
Meanwhile, some Oozium was watching from the side. "Gloop, loop, opoloop." One said. (Translation: "Hey! They're having a montage without us!") "Oopoglop!" the other said. (Translation: "You're right, let's get them!") Afterwards, the Oozium went in and joined the chase. Then the devil came in with Sturm. "So what did you think of my song…hey is that a montage?" Sturm said. "And they have the nerve not to let us in?" the devil said, as he and Sturm joined in.
After about 2 hours of montage chasing, the devil said "Hold it! This is supposed to be hell! The land of eternal pain and suffering! Why aren't you all suffering?" After he asked, Von Bolt ran away as the others were distracted. "Phew, that was a close one. Those soldiers nearly beat the living daylights outta me." "Almost." The lead soldier said, right behind him. "Oh, boy…" Von Bolt said, as the soldiers began to pound the hell out of him.
At the distance, the others were watching. "Well, at least the old fart is suffering." The devil said. "I can't help but enjoy watching this me-wannabe get beat up." Sturm said. Suddenly, 13storytellers and his brother came into the fic. "Hey, what the hell are you doing here?" Sturm asked. "WE have decided to count you and Hawke alive so that you both can appear in OUR next fan fiction." 13storytellers said. "OK, you're gonna have to stop talking like that. It's creepy." The Devil said. Then, 13storytellers and Sturm disappeared.
Hint, Hint! WE just gave you a little glimpse of who's going to be in OUR next AW fic. WE may get to writing it soon. However, WE ran into a little problem. The name of the new army in OUR fic was going to be White Sun, but WE saw another fic that had an army with the same name. If you can give US any ways to get around this, WE'LL greatly appreciate it. Sorry this chapter was short, but WE couldn't think of much to do with this concept. Anyway, please R&R, but any flames will be used to do the dreaded stuff to you!