Title: In Admiration - Part 15

Fandom: Lost

Characters: Jack Shephard, Boone Carlyle

Prompt: #91 Epiphany

Author's Notes: Written for the LiveJournal community slash100 (underscore between "slash" and "100" – for some reason FFN deletes it)

…………

Boone was exhausted. His day had been absolute hell, and then to find out Locke had drugged him, well, he wasn't sure if that made it better or worse. The fact that he felt relieved when he thought Shannon was dead made Boone feel like a very, very bad person, but it was also extremely liberating. He wasn't in love with Shannon. Locke had told him that it was time to let go. Boone looked over at where Shannon was talking with Sayid. She didn't need him anymore.

Locke was standing beside him, backpack on. "Follow me."

Boone got up reluctantly, taking one last look at Shannon and Sayid before following Locke into the jungle. "What a minute, John, where are we going?"

"To the hatch."

Boone stopped in his tracks. It was the middle of the night. He'd just spend the entire day in the jungle, running from the monster, and even though it had been a figment of his imagination, Boone's body still ached and craved sleep. "I think I'm just gonna go back to the beach and get some rest."

Locke nodded. "That might be a good idea; you've had a busy day." Without another word, John continued off into the jungle. Once Boone couldn't see him anymore, he turned around, going back through the caves to get to the beach.

Shannon and Sayid were still there, Sayid seeming to be telling something to Shannon, who had a hand over her mouth as if she was trying to suppress laughter. From the way they were standing, Boone knew Shannon couldn't see him, but Sayid hesitated for a moment as he caught sight of Boone. He didn't feel like going over there and talking to them, still feeling off-balanced by thinking Shannon had died, but he wanted to somehow convey to Sayid that things were cool. Boone waved his hand dismissively and smiled at Sayid, hoping the other man got the message through the darkness. When Sayid smiled back, Boone figured he understood, and he set off on the path that leads to the beach.

The walk seemed longer than Boone remembered. He kept telling himself that he was still on the path, that everything looked different at night, but it wasn't really helping. Boone was starting to think he should have stayed at the caves. He was shaken up and walking back by himself wasn't a good idea at all.

He knew he should feel pissed off at Locke for putting him through that, but John had said himself that he didn't know what was going to happen, what Boone was going to see. In the end it had all turned out to be harmless, and it even helped Boone through some grey areas he was having a tough time with. He wasn't in love with Shannon. If anything, some part of him felt burdened by her. Boone understood that those feelings had probably started in Sydney, when he found out that Shannon was just scamming him for the money. And then after the plane crashed, they ended up spending a lot of time together, and people in general, no matter their relationship to each other, needed some space to not go insane.

Shannon was his sister. Maybe on some level, the part of them that understood that they had no blood ties, they were friends. What happened in Sydney was either Shannon taking advantage of him because she was drunk or her, still drunk, trying to distract Boone from the fact that she had scammed him out of money was unable to keep her own portion. Boone wasn't sure which version he preferred, but he certainly didn't care anymore.

Boone learned something else that made one problem of his remarkably easier to deal with and act on: There was now nothing keeping him from Jack. He couldn't help but smile to himself at this new revelation.

A root appeared out of no where, causing Boone to trip, but he quickly reached out for a vine hanging from the canopy, keeping himself from falling flat on his face. He steadied himself, glad that the vine could support his weight, and even more so that no one had been around to witness his clumsiness. Boone wished he'd grabbed a torch at the caves, but the moon was bright and coming through the trees, so he didn't think he'd need one. Besides, he'd gotten from wherever Locke had left him back to the caves in the dark on his own.

Boone could see that the trees were starting to become less dense, so he must be getting closer to the beach. It was also getting brighter as more and more moonlight shone through. The sound of twigs snapping made him pause and look in the direction of the sound. He could see shadows moving through the trees, but it took a little bit for the silhouette of the person walking towards him to distinguish itself from the surrounding darkness. The other paused upon noticing Boone, and Boone couldn't it when his heart started to pound faster in his chest when he recognized who it was.

"Hey," came Jack's voice.

"Hey," Boone replied lamely, feeling his body moving towards Jack but not really registering that he was walking. "What are you doing out here?"

"Needed to check on Sawyer. I took him off the antibiotics yesterday and wanted to make sure no infection was setting in." Boone liked watching Jack's face, seeing the emotions that flickered through his eyes as he talked. He liked watching Jack's mouth, too, but that was for different reasons altogether.

Boone felt Jack's eyes on him, and he realized that Shannon was right. They did float around each other, and Boone could only now see it because he knew Jack had feelings for him. While Boone found it a little cute that Jack, the confident, aggressive leader whether he liked it or not, got shy and uncertain around him, Boone was also getting frustrated. He felt a surge of courage wash over him as he stepped closer to Jack, keeping his eyes on the taller man's, and stopping when he could feel the warmth of Jack's breath brush across his face.

It was now or never.