A/N: Hey y'all. I really enjoyed writing this chapter…I don't know why there's nothing special about it. Not much Leyton or anything…Oh and by the way, there's twenty one chapters to this fic so we're coming to a close soon…So review please!

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill.

Chapter Seventeen: Responsibility Sucks

February 6th 2006

My hands are shaking as I try to drive. I can't concentrate and I couldn't sleep last night so I'm basically running on empty. I'm especially bitchy and irritable today. I have a headache that's so bad I feel like there's an elephant stomping on opposite sides of my skull. My voice is just starting to come back after a good two hours of morning coughs and phlegm. In laymen's terms, I feel absolutely disgusting.

This is why you don't start smoking. Because quitting is a bitch. I mean it was easy for me to go for days without a cigarette when it was only an occasional thing, but right now my body's coming off of a huge carcinogen intake. So it's kind of like when you're swimming in a pool and the water's really warm. Then, you try to get out and it's freezing cold outside. You know you have to stay out, but your body just wants to jump back in and feel warm again. That's exactly what this is only much worse.

Right now, I'm driving Rachel to the doctor. She's asleep in the passenger side. We had a late night last night. First, we had to tell Bevin about the baby. She hardly seemed surprised. She even admitted she had a feeling and began listing off all the clues she spotted leaving me to wonder how I could have missed them. Then we told Bevin about Skillz. After Bevin was informed, I had to roll Chris Keller out of my bed and out of my house. When night rolled around, Bevin went back out saying she needed some space. I think she's freaking out about confronting Skillz. She doesn't know how to act.

Anyways, Rachel and I tried to go to sleep. I didn't actually get to sleep until four because of my nicotine cravings. I swear to God two second after I closed my eyes, Bevin got home and Rachel started feeling sick. So there was me holding both Rachel and Bevin's hair back as they puke for different reasons. All in all, that didn't help my mood much.

I'm trying to stay positive for Rachel's sake. I know she's really nervous about this visit. This baby may be a fighter, but that doesn't make it any easier on Rachel. If she loses this baby, she will blame herself. She'll go back to her self-destructive habits and start pushing me, Bevin and Mouth away. And that's the last thing she needs right now.

"We're here," I say, gently shaking her as I park in front of the hospital. It's funny how much your priorities can shift from day to day. Two days ago all I cared about was getting Lucas. Now, he's the last thing on my mind…well sort of…It's more the fact that I'm not worrying about his decision. I'm too concerned with Rachel. She looks up at me with the saddest eyes I've ever scene on her and nods. Her hands are fidgeting.

"I'm scared," Rachel whispers. I reach across the seat and hug her.

"It'll be ok, Rach. Come on," I pull back and lead her inside. We wait in silence in the waiting room. Rachel's hand is like a vice grip on my wrist. I can feel her shaking beside me. I turn to look at her.

"It'll be ok, right, Peyt?" she asks.

"Of course. That baby's a Gattina. They're survivors." I give her a smile and she relaxes a little next to me. I glance over at the head nurse who's eying Rachel and me like we've got some sort of disease. She huffs and turns away. She must think we're lesbians or something. I hate people who judge based on nothing, not that there's anything wrong with being gay…I'm just saying.

"Rachel," the huffy nurse calls. Rachel takes a deep breath and looks at me.

"Come with me, please," she whispers. I nod and go with her into the back room, making sure to glare at the rude nurse who rolls her eyes as we pass. We're seated in this little white room with a puppies and kittens border around the top. Rachel props herself up on that uncomfortable table and I sit down in the chair probably reserved for fathers-to-be. Not long after, the doctor arrives.

"Ms. McFadden, you're back early" he says. I give Rachel a strange look. Why is he calling her McFadden? She shakes her head at me, secretively.

"I was in the car accident earlier this year," Rachel says.

"Oh!" he says, "I remember now. We wanted to check you every two weeks, right?"

"Exactly."

"So where's the father today?" Once again, I'm entirely shocked, but I hold it in and go with the flow. You'd think Rachel would have warned me about this.

"Family reunion in Norfolk. I brought my best friend with me," she says, nodding her head towards me. I extend my hand to the doctor.

"Peyton Sawyer," I say as he shakes my hand.

"Dr. Robinson," he says, "Ok, Rachel, any developments that I should know about?"

"I started getting morning sickness."

"Good."

"Not really," Rachel chuckles. He gives her a smile.

"Well good in the medical sense. It means the baby's developing."

"I also accidentally drank a rum and coke," she mutters. Dr. Robinson sighs.

"Oh, Rachel…"

"I know, doctor."

"Hopefully, since the excessive drinking from the wedding didn't hurt this baby, it might not be an issue. We'll make sure, but I'm serious, Rachel. No more drinking."

"It was my fault, doctor," I say, feeling the need to defend her, "I'll make sure it doesn't happen again." He nods at me.

"Ok, I'll send the nurse in to draw some blood." He leaves, shutting the door behind him.

"Ms. McFadden! What the hell?" I ask as soon as he's gone.

"I had to," she mutters, "If I used Cooper's last name, someone would have told Deb. The nurses in this place are total gossipers. And the same goes with my name. My dad is one of the most well known doctors in all of North Carolina. If they found out his precious daughter was pregnant, his reputation would be ruined. So Mouth and I pretended it was our baby."

"Hey Rach," I say, "How are you going to keep this from your parents?"

"I'm not. When they're actually home for more than a couple of hours, I'll sit down and tell them. They'll probably kick me out."

"You can live with me," I say quickly.

"Thanks, but I highly doubt you want a hormonal woman and eventually a crying baby running around your house."

"Umm, newsflash! I had Jake and Jenny living at my house last year. And Jake can get really emotional sometimes." Rachel lets out a small laugh.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I don't mind."

"It should only be until I get enough money for my own place."

"You should talk to Jake. He really knows a lot about this teenage parent stuff."

Rachel nods just as the nurse comes in. A half hour later, Rachel's blood has been drawn and we're heading out the door, with a band aid on her forearm. My nicotine cravings are slowly ebbing away. Once every ten minutes or so, I'll get a jolt and reach for my nonexistent pack of cigarettes.

"Hey," Rachel says from the passenger seat. We're on our way home.

"What?"

"Can you bring me to Deb's house?" she whispers. I nod. This ought to be interesting.

That was interesting. It began as an awkward silence. I can understand that though. I mean hell Deb must have been wondering why the hell we were there in the first place. Then, when we told her, she got angry. Really angry. I think she thought Rachel was lying so she'd get some financial aid from Deb's family. They are, after all, loaded. After much arguing and fighting, we were able to convince her that this baby was indeed Cooper's and that she was not asking for any money. She was just doing the right thing. Deb came around before we left and even offered Rachel a small hug and the promise that she'd tell the rest of her family about the baby.

It's now just around nine o'clock and I'm sketching. Rachel's fast asleep in Brooke's old bed. (I had Mouth help me move it when he came back from his reunion). Bevin fell asleep downstairs and I can't get her to move so I left her there. I'm not tired yet so I'm settling for drawing. The picture is of Rachel in the waiting room. I can't the look of total fear out of my head. The way her eyes were so readable. It wasn't the Rachel I was used to seeing. Just as I go to add the shading under her chin, the phone rings.

"Hello," I answer before a second ring. I don't want to wake up the pregnant woman.

"Sawyer," Nathan says.

"Hey, Nate. How are you?" I say walking out of the room and into my dad's room.

"I'm fine. I hear that I'm going to have a cousin."

"Well, you're awfully blunt."

"My mom just told me. Rachel's pregnant?"

"Yeah."

"How long have you kept this from me?" he asks somewhat heatedly, "You know Peyton you would think that you'd have the decency to-"

"Nate, I've only known for one day," I say, cutting him off before he goes into one of his rants.

"Oh," he sighs, "I just assumed that since you and Rachel were so close you'd have known earlier."

"Nope." There is a long pause where neither of us says anything.

"Well this is awkward," Nathan admits. I can just picture him rubbing the back of his neck, his eyes darting around the room for something interesting to tell me. I save him the trouble.

"How's your wife?" I ask.

"She's good," he seems relieved we've changed the subject, "She got into Duke."

"So that means you guys are going there, right?"

"Yep. You're staying instate, aren't you?"

"I got accepted to UNC so I'll probably go there."

"Lucas is going there," Nathan says offhand, "Oh and speaking of Lucas-"

"Oh dear," I mutter, "I don't like where this is going." Nathan chuckles.

"What's up with you two?"

"Good question. I believe the ball's in his court. I'm just waiting for him to let me know where he stands."

"And where do you stand?" I bite my lip and sigh before answering that.

"I'm in love with him."

"Wow."

"Yeah, I know." There's another long pause. "Listen Nate, I need to get to bed. I'll talk to you later."

"Ok," Nate says, "See you around."

"Bye." I'm going to hang up when Nate cuts me off.

"Hey Peyt."

"Yeah?"

"Lucas would be a fool to give you up."

"Thanks, Nate."

"Night Sawyer."

"Goodnight." I hang up and sigh. I think Nathan and I both know for a fact that Lucas can be a real fool sometimes. Hopefully this won't be one of those times.