Title: In Admiration - Part 19
Fandom: Lost
Characters: Jack Shephard, Boone Carlyle
Prompt: #60 New Year
Author's Notes: Written for the LiveJournal community slash100 (underscore between "slash" and "100" – for some reason FFN deletes it)
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For the first time in as long as she'd known him, Shannon was having a difficult time reading Boone. All she had done was asked why Locke and he kept coming back from hunting without food, and Boone had ignored her. She pressed the point further, and all Shannon got in response was him saying how she should be excited to lose some weight. Shannon then tried suggesting that he help her help Michael build the raft so they could get off the damn island, but he'd just said "no thanks."
She'd watched him fill up his water bottle and head back out in the jungle with Locke in disbelief. Boone couldn't just now be mad at her about what happened in Sydney, could he? That was practically a month ago. Shannon didn't quite remember what she'd said to get him to have sex with her, which she definitely blamed on the alcohol, but that wasn't a good reason to be mad at her now.
That evening had been a big mistake on Shannon's part. She figured she had just been seeking comfort at the time, but afterwards Shannon just felt worse. She had played Boone for his money. When Shannon got the idea it hadn't seemed like a big deal. Boone worked for Sabrina, so the money was really hers, and when Shannon's father died, Sabrina kept the money that should have been Shannon's, so Shannon was really taking back what was hers.
Boone didn't see it like that, though, and now he was avoiding her.
Shannon looked over, seeing Jack looking busy. She suddenly had a lurching feeling in her gut. Could she have been wrong?
It had been extremely obvious that Boone was crushing on Jack, and from what she had seen, it looked like it was mutual. Jack hadn't actually told Shannon that he was attracted to Boone, but she thought she was good at reading people, and Boone really needed a push.
But now he was ignoring her, acting like Shannon had done something wrong and he wasn't going to deal with her anymore. If she had been wrong, and Boone had said or done something to Jack... Shannon remembered all too well the expression on Boone's face when he found out Shannon had been playing Boone for his money. Although she knew Jack wasn't that type of person, she couldn't shake images of him hitting Boone, the images easily supplied because that's just what Brian had done when Boone refused to leave without Shannon. That had been her fault, too.
"You look lost in thought."
Shannon turned, forcing a smile at Sayid. "I just figured out I'm the cause of all my brother's problems."
"I was under the impression that was the purpose of siblings."
Shannon hoped Sayid didn't notice her smile falter when he said the word siblings. "I've done some things that are really...bitchy." Shannon felt her eyes beginning to water from the softness in Sayid's dark eyes. They looked at her with a warmth she didn't feel like she deserved. "I wouldn't blame him if he didn't want to forgive me."
"Shannon..." Sayid held her hands in his. "This island... It's a fresh start for all of us. To leave our old lives behind and begin again, be better."
"Like a New Year's resolution?"
Sayid gave her a questioning look. "I am not familiar with that term."
"It's a promise people make to themselves at the beginning of every year." Shannon wiped at her eyes, blinking away the tears. "I can't just start over. It's just too much."
"Maybe you could start by being nicer to your brother. It could be your resolution."
Shannon smiled a little. "People don't usually stick to their resolutions."
Sayid moved one of his hands away from hers, moving it up to hold the side of her face. "You can try. Boone will forgive you."
"You don't know that. You don't know what I did."
"Shannon, he's your brother. He loves you. Nothing you can do could change that, no matter how...bitchy." Sayid smiled when Shannon laughed at what he'd said. She liked the way his accent made words sound like they were rolling off his tongue. "I'll be here when you're ready to start over. First you need to talk to Boone."
Shannon nodded, knowing Sayid was correct. Maybe it wasn't too late for her to change and fix her life, no matter what she had done before.