Title: In Admiration - Part 23

Fandom: Lost

Characters: Jack Shephard, Boone Carlyle

Prompt: #81 School

Author's Notes: Written for the LiveJournal community slash100 (underscore between "slash" and "100" – for some reason FFN deletes it)

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As Jack watched Sawyer leave, feeling Boone standing just behind him, holding onto Jack's hand, Boone's face pressed against his shoulder. Jack could feel Boone's breath against his skin, raising the tiny hairs on the back of his neck. His breaths were ragged, irregular, and Jack wondered if he was worried about Sawyer. Jack didn't know about the reasoning behind Boone's desire to keep their relationship private, but he was certain their encounter with Sawyer didn't help.

"He's not going to tell anyone," Jack said, trying to sound as certain as he could. He knew Sawyer wouldn't; the other man seem to know that he had more power with being able to threaten to tell than anything he might gain from opening his mouth.

Jack felt Boone's jaw tense on his shoulder. "He won't tell anyone now. Once the novelty of the information wears off he'll whoever's around at the time and no matter who it is, the whole island will know within a few hours."

"Shannon knows, doesn't she? You don't seem too worried about her telling anyone." Jack felt Boone move away from him suddenly and realized that might not have been the best angle he could've taken.

"She wouldn't do that." Jack turned to see a scowl fixed on Boone's face.

Jack sighed. "Boone, I don't want this to be a problem. If we just tell people then we won't need to worry about Sawyer." Boone remained stubbornly silent. "I just don't understand what you're afraid of," Jack said, voice soft.

"People don't always respond well to this sort of thing," Boone replied, tone matching Jack's. He watched Boone chew absent-mindedly on his bottom lip, a sign Jack learned to attribute to when Boone was mulling something over. "Shit happens and people can get hurt."

Jack thought back to when he was in high school, remembering the look on his father's face when he so disdainfully spat out the words "faggot" and "queer," and Jack spending half a lifetime pretending to be someone he wasn't just so he wouldn't have to see Christian like that again. He understood Boone's fear, but he also knew how draining it was to lie, and that he wanted Boone, not caring who knew and if they accepted.

"They'll have to respond well. Alienating the only doctor on an uncharted island wouldn't be in a person's best interest." Boone scoffed at that, and Jack guessed it was better than nothing. "I don't know where you're coming from, Boone, so I don't know what to say to you that'll help."

He watched as Boone slumped to the ground, leaning against a tree. He took a bottle from his bag, drinking slowly, stalling for a few moments as Jack moved to sit besides him on the ground. "Freshman year of college, I went to this party. I think it was the weekend after midterms because I normally wasn't into that shit but I needed to unwind and there was free beer." Jack watched Boone run his fingers through his hair, exhaling deeply. "I met this guy...Cole... I wasn't interested, and after some time he stopped trying. I saw him leave with this other guy maybe an hour later, and the next morning he was found dead in his room in Carman by his roommate, on the floor, face in a pool of his own blood. The report was that the floor was wet; he slipped, fell on his face, and broke his nose. It said that he landed so when his nose broke, pieces of bone went into his brain and killed him."

Jack recognized the same sad, frustrated expression on Boone's face as when he'd told Jack about Shannon's asthma. "It wasn't long before word got around campus that it wasn't really an accident. The guy Cole left with, his dad was this big shot New York lawyer, so he got off clean, even though people heard him bragging about it after the hearing." Boone stood suddenly, expression becoming exasperated. "You think being a doctor will protect you? People aren't rational when it comes to something they believe in. Charlie thought killing Ethan was the right thing. How long until Sawyer tells someone?"

Leaning back into the tree, Jack thought back to that night in the jungle almost a week ago, when Boone asked him what they were getting into. He'd asked if they were going to keep their relationship a secret or not, seemingly for Jack's benefit, but now he wondered if it had really been for Boone's. He certainly was scared, and Jack wasn't going to call him on it; he, after all, wasn't any better.

"If we say something, it'll be on our own terms," Jack said slowly, trying to calm Boone. "Then Sawyer won't matter."

Boone's expression was sad. "It's not that easy."

"Yes, it is." Jack looked down at his hands. "Unless you aren't happy..."

Jack didn't get to finish his thought as he felt the back of his head slam into the tree, seeing lights on the back of his eyelids before he was aware of Boone kissing him, mouth setting out to silence any doubts Jack was having about their relationship. The play of Boone's tongue along his bottom lip urged his mouth open further, and Jack relished in the way Boone tasted, his breath hot and welcoming.

"It's not like that," Boone said when he broke the kiss. "I am happy. Just...worried."

"At least think about it." Jack leaned forward to capture Boone's mouth in another kiss, appreciating the contented moan that he drew out of the other man's mouth. Jack wrapped his arms around Boone, pulling him as close as he could, feeling Boone's fingers gripping into his thighs. Jack felt Boone gasp into his mouth.

"Sorry." Boone stood, gathering his bag, and Jack frowned at his sudden departure. "It's gotta be nearing noon, and I'm supposed to meet John."

Jack stood, understanding that they had to get back to their responsibilities on the island. He could only imagine how many people were going to bother him about scrapes and rashes today. "Didn't he say the boar left the area?"

"He said something about...maybe there being other prey species."

"Okay," Jack said, kissing Boone briefly as he shouldered his pack. "I'll see you later."

Boone nodded, smiling back at him before setting off in the direction of the caves, leaving Jack to wonder about the expression of relief that had flashed through his eyes when Jack didn't press him further about hunting. He figured it was nothing, but that didn't keep Jack from thinking about it.