Title: In Admiration - Part 24

Fandom: Lost

Characters: Jack Shephard, Boone Carlyle

Prompt: #24 Choices

Author's Notes: Written for the LiveJournal community slash100 (underscore between "slash" and "100" – for some reason FFN deletes it)

…………

Boone could think of at least six different things he would rather be doing than staring at the hatch, watching Locke get up randomly to pace around it before sitting back down. Most of those things he was thinking of involved Jack. Boone felt bad bringing up the incident with Cole to Jack, but he needed to know where he was coming from. He didn't tell Jack about his guilt - about how he thought maybe if he'd paid Cole a little more attention, he wouldn't have died, but Boone knew Jack would've told him there was nothing he could've done about it, and Boone still would've felt guilty, so there was no point.

He really did care about Jack, which scared Boone a little. He wasn't an expert on emotions, certainly not his own, but he knew he wanted more with Jack. Boone had been more physically involved with men and women before Jack, but here he found himself wanting to be emotionally invested, and that was what scared him. No wonder he was so messed up over his feelings for Shannon, Boone thought. She knew him better than anyone, so when she told Boone that he was in love with her, he couldn't help but believe it.

Everything else aside, Boone was more worried about the other survivors. They'd been on the island for a month now, and he didn't trust any of them. Well, besides Shannon and Jack... And John, he mentally amended, watching Locke sitting cross-legged on the jungle ground, staring intently at the hatch. They'd been coming out to the damn thing for about a week now, and nothing was happening. They'd cleared the top of it and started working on digging at the edges to see how far it went down, but as far as attempts to open the hatch went, there were none.

Boone returned to thinking about Jack, the warm weight of his body when pressed against Boone's, how he smelled like a combination of musk and campfire. Jack was so sweet and caring and yet at the same time so passionate, which left Boone at odds with himself when wondering what sex with Jack was like. Boone failed to suppress the shudder that overcame him at the thought of Jack's hands, skilled and capable from being a surgeon, all over his body. He couldn't help but wonder if being a spinal surgeon gave Jack knowledge of all sorts of sensitive nerve endings that were unknown to most people.

He needed to stop thinking about sex, Boone realized. In his defense, he wasn't thinking directly about sex, but he needed to stop thinking about Jack in a sexual context before he found himself needing some alone-time in the jungle. He was twenty-two, though, what the hell else was Boone supposed to think about? Jack's complete lack of pressure was surprisingly new, but it was also getting frustrating. Saying anything would just be hypocritical, though, since Boone understood that while he had more primal urges that needed tending to, he was also keeping something from Jack - the possibility of a completely open relationship by letting the others know.

"Maybe there's another door or something," Boone said to Locke, wanting to be up and doing something. Moving about was better than sitting here staring at a hatch. Maybe then they'd run across some boar tracks to bring back meat, and everyone would stop acting suspicious about their efforts.

"This is the only way in," John said, sounding so absolutely sincere that Boone wondered for a moment why he bothered thinking there might be another entrance.

"It just seems dumb to only have one entrance that can't be opened from the outside. We could get people to help us look-"

"No," Locke interrupted, expression stern, like it had been when he told Boone not to tell Shannon. "The others will only hinder our progress."

"I wouldn't call this progress," Boone muttered more to himself but keeping his voice loud enough for John to hear. Locke got up, climbing down alongside the hatch and starting to dig his way deeper along its side with a shovel that he'd made. Boone couldn't say John lacked determination. He admittedly wanted to be useful, but Boone had no idea how this hatch would help them. It reminded Boone of a bomb shelter.

"First you wanted to tell Shannon," Locke said, digging, and making eye contact with Boone at the same time. "Now you want to tell who? Jack?" Boone felt a flicker of panic, wondering if John knew, if Sawyer had already spilled to everyone, as Locke slowly dragged his gaze away from Boone's and back to the loose earth in front of him. "This is an exercise in faith, Boone. Jack doesn't have any."

"Jack has faith," Boone found himself saying quietly, looking down at the ground.

"Not in destiny, he doesn't. Not in the island."

"He has faith in people." Boone looked up from the toes of his shoes to see that Locke had stopped digging and was staring at him like he was trying to see into Boone's soul.

John stuck the spade of the shovel into the ground, leaning his weight into the handle. "You have to make a choice, Boone."

Boone's eyebrows drew together, worried. "You aren't going to tie me up and leave me hallucinating in the jungle, are you?"

"No," Locke chuckled, eyes mirthful, which unnerved Boone a little. He hadn't thought that was funny at all. "But you have to realize that telling Jack, Sayid, any of them, could undo everything we've done." Boone looked at the hatch, buried in dirt and unopened, wondering what exactly it was they had done. All Boone thought he'd gotten out of their daily trips was fairly adept at telling direction and knowing about what time it was based on the sun. "Don't tell Jack."

"You just said I had a choice."

Locke smiled, going back to unearthing more of the hatch, and Boone found himself wishing he was sitting on the beach being useless instead. That way he at least wouldn't have to lie to Jack about what he did out here with Locke everyday.