Chapter 19

Jude rubbed her eyes as a little child would, not sure if she had completely lost it, or if life had decided to screw her for good. As she walked into G-Major after last night's events of a messed-up interview, and an even more messed-up friendship with Tommy, she was speechless and a bit overwhelmed to see Shay, Tommy, Chaz and – that was the real shock – David, all standing together, laughing. From the million and one questions that hammered a headache into her head, only one found a way out of her mouth. "What the hell?"

Behind her, Portia appeared, placing an arm around her. From the corner of her eyes, Jude could see the soft, sympathetic smile on her face. Like that was any consolation! "First came Tommy. He showed up at eight," she explained as she tugged Jude away from the entry and towards her area of the building. "He and Darius nearly yelled at each other over Shay, who will stay here for a little while, since he posted on his Facebook-page that he'd be a far better artist without D's influence. Then Shay arrived, unhappy about the fact that Tommy will be his producer for now. With Shay, characteristically late, came Chaz. Apparently, he is Shay's new PR guy. Which in return got D's temper to mushroom all over again. Then last arrived David to get a jacket he claimed to have forgotten here at one point. He marched right into his ruin. Tommy still hold some sort of grudge against the poor boy, and so, when Quincy turned bossy and demanded to know why your ex was here, Shay and Chaz got nosy. Lucky for them, there are a few very gossipy interns around here. That all happened two hours ago. At some point, things must have changed. They look quite relaxed now."

By now having arrived in Portia's corner of G-Major, Jude leaned over the banister of the dressing area, and watched all these men interacting. Had they noticed her? Would that be a good thing? From their position a couple of feet away, Jude could tell they were having a lively discussion about something. She hoped she wasn't the topic! Suddenly Tommy's eyes met hers, and with stinging sadness she saw the smile fading from his lips. She had royally screwed up this one!

"Hey," Portia said and tugged her away from her spot on display, "don't stare. I overheard Tommy and Kwest, and I know you and Quincy have had some sort of a rough patch. He's in love with you, if that's any consolation."

"It's not. For once he's not the one who has done wrong," Jude admitted ruefully. Head hanging low, she sighed heavily. "At some point during the last couple of months I got scared of what I want. And I don't know how to change that."

Shrugging helplessly, Portia offered "time" as a solution. "Maybe you need to figure out what you want for yourself before you can figure out what you want with somebody else. I wish I could help you, but I don't know how. But," she said on a lighter note, "if you need a place to hide, the changing room is all yours!"

"Thanks." Jude smiled and plopped down on the floor, crossing her legs, settling comfortably. "So, Shay and Tommy. That's sounds interesting. Along with Chaz, it sounds like a must-see event!" She peered over her shoulder when she could hear a roar of male laughter echoing in the halls of G-Major. "What are they laughing about?!"

"You?" Portia quipped.

"That'd explain three out of four laughs. What's Chaz got to laugh about?"

"Go down and ask. Shouldn't you be recording anyway?"

Jude scrunched her face, displaying her maturity by a wailing whine, "I don't wanna-a-a-aah! Look at them!" She pointed towards the cadre. "Bring in Jamie and you have a 'we hate Jude'-party!"

"Shay's got no reason to hate you!"

"I'm sure by now Tommy has given him one." Standing up, she straightened her clothes, and put on a moping face. "You got any rocks to hide under? Just for a week or so? I'd pay rent!"

Laughing amused, Portia nudged Jude towards the stairs. "Go down, sing, and show them you're not that easily intimidated. And if that doesn't work, kiss Chaz so at least the rest of us will have some fun."

"Funny! Ha. Ha." Feeling dismissed, Jude trudged downstairs, walked up to the guys, and steeled her back. "Hey."

The reactions were mixed. Chaz and David smiled politely. Tommy looked away. Shay practically strangled her with a fierce hug that left her breathless. "Shorty!" shot the rapper, "how are you? Was worried!"

"Barely alive," she coughed. Shay immediately set her down. Not waiting for anyone else to say something, he took her hand, and tugged her with him into the nearest soundproof booth, which happened to be the very room Jude should be recording at, anyway. "Shay, slow down. What's with you?" To say she was confused by his behavior would be an understatement. "I don't think I've ever seen you this…enthusiastic!"

He scoffed. "I'm not enthusiastic. I'm relieved. At least one normal person. Did you hear about my punishment? Three months with Quincy. Not to forget the constant fussing from Big D. At nineteen, one should be allowed to say whatever one wants!"

Jude definitely agreed. One should also be allowed to feel whatever one wanted without having to justify! "Tell me about it." She leaned against a wall. "So, you'll be recording here?" Her eyes lifted, curious. "And more importantly, what did you all just laugh about? Did you talk about me?"

"Why?" Shay's look pinned her into a corner where she could do nothing but explain.

"David, you, and Tommy…I've all dated you. More or less, that is."

"Oh that?" His grin was biting. "Yeah, I've been told we share that experience. So, you and Quincy, huh? I'm not surprised. The man was pining for you way before I even made a move on you!"

"He did not! He's my sister's ex. She's the one he wanted."

"Yet you slept with him. You never let me get that far. I'm hurt. Sleep with me now!"

"Shay!"

"Why not? Oh no, did he ruin it for you? One bad tumble with him, and now you're convinced sex is awful. Must be it. It's not! Let me prove it!"

The guts of that man! "It wasn't like that," she countered. "And no, I won't let you! You have your box-blond hoe for that. Oh – I'm sorry. I forgot." Her lips whipped into a faux smile of sympathy. "Eden left you."

"It wasn't like that," he mirrored her words. "I left her! Look, I screwed it up. You and me. My bad. But we were friends. Let us be that again, okay?"

At this point in her life, she couldn't afford to be picky. And Shay did have his redeeming sides. "Well, lucky for you I'm short on friends these days."

"What happened to the giddy girlfriend of yours? And that four-eyed dork?"

"Kat and Jamie? Kat left and thinks I'm a bad friend, and Jamie fell for me. I didn't fall back. Since I told him, it's weird. We barely do anything anymore. Quincy was a good replacement friend, but I mucked that up, too, though we weren't that good a pair of friends the last weeks. Did I mention I found him having sex with my sister?"

"Geez, I missed a lot while I was gone. Good thing I'm back." He leaned next to her, elbowing her rib. "I think you can use some guidance. From the master."

She snorted.

"Listen, David and I are hitting the clubs tonight. He's cool. Rides the same car I do! Come with us!"

Shay and David? She hesitated. Was that a good idea? Then again, "I could really use some fun!"

"So do I," he said and wiggled his brows.

Jude laughed. That brief moment of happiness waned fast.

Via intercom, Tommy made his presence known. "Jude, leave. Studio is Shay's. Work on your song in studio C."

"Dick," she muttered, rolling her eyes. She blew a curl out of her face and smiled at Shay. "Déjà vu, eh?"

Chaz's eyes roamed the dance floor as he chuckled over Tommy's absentminded state. "You are so in love with Jude it's bloody embarrassing!"

Being anything but in the mood to joke about that, he shot a sharp glower at his former band mate. A pointed warning. "Shove it!"

"Fine. Geez, you need some fun. I could point to a dozen girls without even turning around, who'd all love to lighten your mood. Even as a married guy you had more women! Look at her," he commanded, aiming towards the center of the dance floor. "That chick might just be what you need. She's making out with two guys at once. You always loved a good challenge!"

Half-heartedly taking a look at the girl, out of mere interest instead of actual consideration, his jaw dropped at the sight. Down there was Jude, dancing with what he assumed where Shay and David. The latter was behind her, hands on her waist, while Shay's lips were entirely too close to hers.

Chaz, too, recognized her. "Shit! I underestimated her!"

"What the fuck is she doing?!" Was she insane? Selling herself out like that? Who did she think she was? Some cheap hoe? Tommy practically ran over, attempting to save what was left to save. Shay's grabby hands were the first he yanked off of her before shoving David away from her. "Jude! What the hell is this?"

"Partyyyyiiiiin…" Her words were slurry, her eyes dazed, the signs clear. She was drunk and then some. And instead of listening to him, she wrapped her arms around Shay, whom she pulled back in. "These'r my friiieensh – we havin' fuuun!"

Fun my ass! He barely held on to his temper. She wore a short jeans skirt that had ridden up dangerously high, and a beige silk camisole. No bra. The silver sling pumps seemed like a pair her sister would wear. This wasn't Jude. Not the Jude he knew.

David had already moved on to a new girl to dance with, and Shay's eyes had begun wandering off as well. "Buzzkill. We were having fun, Quincy. When was the last time you had so? Jude's sixteen and allowed to lose control every now and then." Shay wasn't nearly as drunk as Jude.

When Tommy glared at him with the full might of his anger, Shay didn't flinch either. "Fun? This is what you call fun? She can't stand on her own feet anymore, and you two horn dogs are all over her!" Tugging on Jude's hand, he decided then he'd take her home himself. He didn't trust either of the guys. "Fucking get lost!"

"Whatever," Shay snapped before leaving.

He'd have never believed so, but when Sadie Harrison opened the front door that night, he was actually glad.

"Oh God, what happened?" Taking her half-asleep sister by the arm, Sadie helped her lie down on the couch. Tommy silently followed, listened as Jude muttered some things about Shay and David, and how they had bought her funny looking cocktails. Before long, she fell asleep with a deftly snore.

"They partied," he explained, filling in the blanks when Sadie waited for the story. "I found her sandwiched between her awesome friends." As he stood in the living room, it dawned on him he hadn't been in here since that faithful night that had changed his life forever. Nothing was how it used to be anymore, and he yet had to figure out if that was a good or a bad thing. His eyes landed on the couch, remembering clearly what had occurred on it.

Sadie followed his gaze, and blushed. "It's been a while since you've been here."

"Yeah." Not just since he'd been here. "It's been a while since we talked, too." For the first time in a long while he felt as if he and his ex could actually have a civil conversation. "So…you and Kwest, huh?"

Sadie timidly nodded. "Just happened. He was alone. I was alone."

"I'm sorry," he blurted out. "For all that has happened. I'm honestly sorry." Ever since his heart had taken a blow or two from Jude, he had changed his view on his exes. More than once, he had been an asshole, and now that he knew how it felt not to get the one he wanted, he found it far easier to imagine the kind of pain he'd inflicted on others. "I was lucky to have you, Sadie. And I'm sorry to hurt you."

Leaning against the back of the couch, facing Tommy, Sadie shrugged lightly. "Wasn't meant to be. I'm good now. We had our fun while it lasted."

Tommy couldn't say if she'd meant it or said it to save face, but he was grateful nonetheless and hoped she'd get what she wanted from Kwest.

His eyes wandered to Jude's sleeping figure, worried.

"You really do like her."

Tommy gave a sad shrug. "Wasn't meant to be."

"Tommy…"

"No, it's okay. I tried. I honestly did. She made it very clear she doesn't want me. And I don't blame her. It's time to move on."

"Listen, um… I don't know if this is weird, or so, but a friend from college has her birthday next weekend. Kwest is coming, too. It's going to be a big party. Chaz is also coming, and—"

"How'd he get invited?"

"Kwest. Girls and Chaz do fit. Do you want to come, too? My friend will be thrilled to have two fifths of Boyz Attack at her party!"

That got him to laugh. "I'll consider it. Thanks for asking, though."

"No problem. Now that things between us are over for good, there's no reason we can't become friends, is there?"

"Guess not. I got to go."

"Sure. Thanks for bringing Jude home."

"If you can drink, you can work," Tommy barked through the intercom, annoyed. "If you can't hold your liquor, you shouldn't party all night!"

Rubbing her sore head as she sat on a stool in the booth, Jude gave him a sour look. The million and one aspirins she had already downed did nothing to help her. She had gotten an extra two weeks of being grounded since her mother had found her barfing this morning, not needing long to smell what had caused it. Above all that, she feared she might have flunked the math test she hadn't even managed to halfway-finish this morning in school. It wouldn't kill him to show some sympathy. "Be a little nicer, would you? I'm sick. How do you even know I was partying?"

There was a look of utter disbelief on his face, which vanished quickly when hot-blooded anger took over. "Are you kidding me? I was the one taking you home! Your two friends were having their fun taking advantage of you! For fuck's sake, how much did you drink?"

"Too much," Jude mumbled, if the pain inside her head was the marker to go by. But who was Tom Quincy to lecture her on sobriety and good behavior? "What do you care, Mister butt naked in a public park!"

He sat back down. His eyes turned icy. "I don't care. I was merely pointing out that as my artist I expect more from you. If you can't deliver what your contract expects, say so now. Meanwhile, don't waste my time! Now get your guitar. We're doing background tracks today. Your voice is a mess."

Son of a… Swallowing a curse, Jude did as he told her to. When she sat back down, she kept her eyes clear of him. A part of her did wonder, though, "Are you punishing me for not dating you?" It had been on her mind for days.

Tommy remained cold. "Why would I? Across from me sits a girl who doesn't know the difference between good and bad anymore. You're reckless, selfish, a coward, and stupid. Just like your friends. You honestly think I'd date you like that?" He scoffed with dismissal. "Think again."

Well. That was quite a statement. Forgotten was the headache and the lingering nausea, even the faint note of gin she couldn't wash from her mouth no matter how she tried. Replacing all of that was the bile taste of hurt. Not just any hurt, but pure, deliberately inflicted hurt. Not sure who the man was in front of her, Jude quietly rose, placed her guitar back into its case, and granted him a last tearful look. "To think I slept with you makes me sick! I record with Kwest from now on. Next time you see me somewhere, keep walking."

Tommy didn't say anything, nor did he stop her from leaving.

Was this how it had meant to end – a great, valuable friendship in ruins, a possible love affair outside the realms of the possible, two broken hearts, and a thousand things unsaid?

Jude had made it to the parking lot without crying, but then she broke apart. What had happened to her Tommy? Where was the perfect man in whose arms she had been happier than she had ever been before? Could that wonderful, sensible, thoughtful man really be the same as the asshole she had just stared at? She had loved him. For a little while, her whole life had been built around him. And now? Even when she had found him with her sister, she hadn't been as devastated as she was now. This time, he had purposely insulted and wounded her, knowing exactly where to place the knife to make it count.

As far as she was concerned, their friendship was done. With the man she had just seen she'd never even want to speak with again.

She reached into her bag, and searched for her phone. Then she called number two on speed dial. "David? It's me. Are you and Shay still going to that concert tonight? Great. I'm coming too. Don't worry about my ticket. I'll meet you inside."

With his fourth Whiskey, Tommy stared at the TV screen over the bar, following mindlessly how the news reporter talked about the recent events. "Isn't it supposed to be a sports bar?"

Next to him, Chaz shrugged. "Don't know. Listen – there are two very hot women at the table next to the door. If I wink them over, will you ruin it for me?"

Scoffing arrogantly, Tommy curved an eyebrow. "Me, ruining it for you? When has that ever happened?" Refocusing on the TV, he listened with barely existent interest to a report of this night's N.O.F.K. concert. He had once worked with them and had initially wanted to go with Jude, knowing she was a fan of them. He had gotten tickets for them months ago when she had still been on tour. Then, all that shit had happened and last week he had given the tickets to Kwest. Last he knew, Kwest could not go, either, and in the end, Shay had scored the tickets. Tommy's interest in the report rose however, when he saw Jude appearing next to the reporter. She was dressed in ripped jeans, and a band shirt, with unkempt curly hair, and dark smokey eyes. She looked just like she used to, before everything had gone downhill.

He tried to make out what they were saying, the sound of the TV merely audible.

"This night's N.O.F.K. concert was awesome to say at least. With me here is Jude Harrison, Toronto's very own Instant Star. You made quite the entry tonight, surprising not only fans, but also the band when you appeared on stage. Tell us, Jude: How'd you manage to sneak on stage – let alone stay there?"

"One of their bodyguards is a friend of a friend of mine. I love the band to death. Their music rocks! I figured if I ever have a chance to sing with them, then now. So I decided to go for what I wanted. I've been called a coward pretty often in the last weeks – especially by a former friend of mine. Watch out for me now, because I'm going to prove to everyone and myself that I'm afraid of nothing."

"Thanks, Jude! Have a great night, and good luck." The reporter took over the full screen. "Up next, weather and then back to the Football game…"

Thinking about Jude's words, Tommy closed his eyes, and tried to drown out every other sound for just a moment. A former friend. That was what he was to her? Well, if he wasn't more, than why should he feel guilty if he went for what he wanted, too? He was done being the sad, lovesick guy who couldn't get the girl he loved. There were enough willing ones. Why mope over some immature chick that didn't have the guts to live up to her words anyway? Drowning his Whiskey, he stood up, walked over to where Chaz had gone and smiled rakishly at the two women at the table.

"I'm Tom," he introduced himself, the charm in that gesture came to him as natural as breathing. He kissed the blonde's hand smoothly. It seemed that Chaz had for himself picked the redhead.

"I know who you are," she said with a smile. "I'm Anna. I have a little sister who adores you."

"A sister?" He smirked devilishly. "Is she here too?"

"She's sixteen."

"Bad age," Tommy remarked dryly. "Too immature, too moody, too inexperienced."

"I'm twenty-one," Anna added.

"Good age. Beautiful, wise, hopefully talented… So, if your sister likes me, does that mean you do, too? It'd make my evening a lot easier."

She laughed and he could tell she felt flattered. "I don't like your music, if that's what you're asking. I'm studying music. I know the difference between good and the rest."

"Music-wise, I'd probably agree. Man-wise? I don't think you've met 'good' yet. Lucky for you, I'm here now. Care to have a drink with me?"

"At the bar?" She fluffed her hair back. He wanted to sigh. It was so much more thrilling when they at least pretended not to be interested.

Then again, it cut time. "How about across the building."

"What's there?"

"The hotel I'm staying tonight." He'd just have to get a room there first. Jude had been the only girl who had ever stayed the night in his apartment. A bad omen. The place was cursed. He'd not make that mistake again. "We could share a drink at the hotel bar, and then we could share some more…"

Chapter 20

Her weight shifted from one foot to another as she impatiently waited for her producer to end this recording session already. She had barely slept this week, having been out partying most of the night. Not just partying, though. There was also playing pranks to teachers, egging cars, and at one point even getting almost arrested for spray painting some unpopular things on an oversized poster of a talk show host that had dared to call her a pop star princess. Shay and David were truly keeping her busy and for the first time probably since ever she felt completely free. Well, not completely free. That, the unfortunate incident with the police had shown. Lucky for her, Shay had some friends in the police department – something she hadn't known before – and had so managed to keep the whole thing off the radar not only from the press, but also from D, and most important: her parents.

After finally gaining her freedom back – three weeks of being grounded had given her a whole new sense for the liberty of staying out late – she now enjoyed every single perk of being a single, sixteen-year old teenager, including the added fun of being with two guys who loved pushing the boundaries as much as she did. It was either a cool party with exclusive guests, or a borderline illegal act like egging a cab, or even something as out of character as for example making out with a complete stranger, just to prove to the world, and to herself, that nothing mattered. Also, there were some undying rumors that she had made out with Shay and David at once, in a club, but both guys had assured her that was a misunderstanding, and she had chosen to believe them. Besides, making out with two guys at once was something she'd never do. Right? It was just a rumor!

One thing that particularly didn't matter was a certain ex-producer, who had his own fun at being reckless. From the rumors she had heard – and there were plenty! – he had found himself quite a few entertainments, precisely the two-legged, skinny, and uninhibited kind. She had no idea if he was okay, or not. Then again, she professed sternly, and not infrequently, that she could hardly care any less about the things Tom Quincy did or did not do. They were both to blame for how the wrecks of their friendship lay, but neither wanted to make the first step, and as time passed, Jude began to like life as it was, even without Tommy in it. She hadn't talked to him in about a month. Occasionally, they passed each other at G-Major, but besides a polite 'hey', or some strangled 'hello', no conversation took place.

And these days, Jude's mind was tied to other things anyway. Three days from now, her birthday was, and a kick ass party had to be organized. Having decided the location would be her new, favorite club, The Chain, where she had already met a variety of interesting and fun people, who cared less about tomorrow and more about today, the only things left to do were to get rid of a too board meeting-like guest list, which Darius kept coming up with, finding a pretty dress, and last but not least convince her parents not to show up. Turning seventeen was big, since it was the last one before turning eighteen. Jude wanted to have fun, and with her parents watching, fun was not in the realms of the possible.

"Kwest," she whined, as her producer kept demanding track after track. "Quincy was bad already, but I'd have never thought you could possibly be worse than him! Please – the guys are already waiting for me. And also," she added with her most sweet smile, "a certain sister of mine is waiting in a certain apartment for you."

"You know – maybe I did keep you here a little long today. Let's end now!"

Laughing at his sudden eagerness to leave, Jude packed up her stuff as quickly as she could and watched him hurry off. She was halfway out the studio already when she remembered that she had promised Shay a copy of her new song. He had ventured towards the DJ scene and occasionally liked to turn the tables. Tonight, he had a gig at a new club, and wanted to open with her new song. Damn it. Kwest had left, and the hard-drive on which the copy was had a password. Only two people knew said code. One was on his way to have sex, and the other one was recording in studio A with another artist. She'd never manage to get Kwest to come back, since she was sure he was already on his way out of the parking lot. Sighing heavily, she made her way into studio A.

The way there seemed odd by itself. Having walked the familiar steps a million times before that evening, it now felt like treading a whole new, different path. She had no idea what would expect her, or if she was even welcome. Studio A used to be hers, undoubtedly so, and Tommy had never objected when she had claimed her space in this building. But as the two of them had 'broken up', as strange as the term may sound, it had shown quickly who of G-Major's work squad was on whose side, next to which room belonged to whom. All the interns were with Tommy, as was studio A. No shocker there! Four out of five interns were young girls, dying to please a man like Tommy, who truth be told was very handsome, and even more so when he wanted to be. The other intern was gay, and therefore with Tommy, too. Portia was on Jude's side, and so was Darius – only occasionally though, and just when it came in handy. Kwest was Tommy's best friend, but pledged to be neutral. Sadie was on Tommy's side, arguing that he had put his heart on the line only to get it broken. Yeah, Jude had never doubted that boy bands mattered more than family ties would. It had never been different. Again, no shocker there! The only ones on Jude's side were those who were actually against Tommy and by that allying with everyone who was anti-him.

Only a meter until she reached the door. Jude stopped and took a deep breath, noticing how dry her mouth had become. Why was she nervous? Just because he was behind that door? He couldn't scare her! He never had been able to do that. He seemed to be close to calling it a day, too. Jude could see the twenty-something guy he was recording with through the glass walls, packing up. Now or never it was. She had promised Shay the song, and Quincy was the only way she'd get it. As she took the last two steps, pulling the door to the studio open with resolved strength, her heart fell as fast as it had fallen for him, once, when she saw he wasn't alone. So far unnoticed since he was preoccupied with his company, she took in the new girl at his side. Sitting in the chair where she used to sit in, a tall blond girl with tight jeans, boots, and the very rare 'The Clash Concert 1974'-shirt – a shirt Jude had been searching for years now – was sitting. Her hand was on the soundboard – a 'holy item' as Tommy had once called it. He didn't even seem to mind! Headphones on, as she had, they both listened to a track they must have recorded at some point prior to her own arrival. They looked like the perfect team. Whenever he was twisting a knob, or flicking a switch, the woman did something equal. Occasionally they shared a look, and even a smile.

Jealousy. Jude had never felt it before. Now that it overcame her in a hot, stinging, unnerving rush, she was pretty stunned she could define it as such so quickly. Was it an instinct to be jealous? Just like one knew when to be scared, like for example in horror movies? That was a philosophical question she felt no desire answering. Closing the door with a thud, both pairs of eyes were on hers in an instant.

Tommy was the one to speak out what Jude was sure his new friend was thinking, too. "What?" His voice was unusually grim. Well, come to think of it, grimness, hostility, and impoliteness were something they did exchange a lot lately.

Jude didn't falter under his icy stare, nor flinched away when he stood up for whatever reason he had. She spoke her request. "I need a copy of my song. It's on the hard drive in studio B, but Kwest already left, and I don't have the password." With every necessary information given, Jude considered mutely leaving the room. If he decided to help her, he'd follow eventually. Right? At least that was what he'd used to do. Now, she wasn't so sure anymore, and figured waiting for an actual reply might not be such a bad idea. To her chagrin, he took his time to answer. "Well?" She curtly hinted her unhappiness over his lack of response.

"Give me a minute and I'll come over."

Jude was dumbfounded. Had he just dismissed her? Did he actually think she'd just leave, to wait gratefully for a second of his grace? Ha! Not when there was another girl in the chair that belonged to her!

Tommy cast her an irritated glance. "In a minute, Jude! Wait in studio B for me."

She couldn't possibly believe he'd jump at her demand, just because she wanted him to – could she? After everything that happened, Tommy had been shocked to find her in this room to begin with. It didn't surprise him however that she came for a favor, and not to apologize.

Not that he waited for an apology. He had given up on that at some point during the last week. After three weeks of immaturity, he had had enough and decided it was time to make a cut. She didn't want him. That was fine. He in return wouldn't need her! She had always allured him, among many things, with the fact that she wasn't like most of the girls her age. She was mature – if she wanted to be, she spoke her mind, she never played games, and she was always straight with him. A lot of that was now missing. He had never believed their friendship could actually fall apart someday, having rather thought the opposite most of the times. But, not for the first time, life had proven him wrong.

So he moved on. To take his mind off things, precisely off Jude, he had in the beginning met with a vast diversity of women. But, returning to what used to be a very satisfying lifestyle years ago wasn't nearly as hooking anymore, today. Not searching sexual entertainment, but something else, he now spent his time with new friends, one of them being the woman with him in the room, who had politely offered to help him out with a second opinion. He had met Anna about a month ago, after 'breaking up' with Jude. At first, he had used her for sex and she had let him. The next day, she had surprised him by admitting she knew she hadn't been anything but a fling, but also that she liked his persona and if he wouldn't mind, she'd like to be his friend. He had agreed in a heartbeat. Now she was the second pair of ears that normally would be provided by Kwest, but he was busy recording with Jude, since she refused to even share a room with him. Which again brought him back to the now. "You're still here."

Jude rolled her eyes. "Apparently! Look, if you want to give your new girlfriend a parting kiss, since the minute and a half that it will take you to unlock the hard drive for me will definitely cause her to feel lonely, then that's okay with me. However, I stay and wait. I'm not your servant, unlike everyone else of G-Major's pathetic list of Quincy-loving employees, and so you can't order me away. Now hurry! I have my own plans."

"Plans," he dryly repeated, "that apparently require my help. A nicer tone would help you gain so!" He turned around and tossed a quick "Thanks for your help" over his shoulder to Anna before marching ahead towards studio B.

Jude used Tommy's absence to introduce herself. "I'm Jude."

"Anna," the blonde said, offering her hand in a polite gesture of introduction. She also gave a smile. "Look Jude, I don't know what you think, but—"

"I don't think anything. But, just so you know, Tommy is married and—"

"Jude!" Tommy's tone lacked any patience or understanding. "Why would you say that?"

She was frozen in place. Shellshocked. Not by his sudden reappearance but by the lie she'd told. "Mental instability?" The joke was dumb and she knew it when she made it. That didn't stop her from continuing to make it. "I'm having a very self-destructive problem right now, and tomorrow I'm going to start a four-week therapy and—"

"Jude!"

A part of him was mad, but the bigger part was just plain confused. Jude could tell. She didn't blame him, either. "Why? I mean…I don't know." Looking down, scratching her head as guilt befell her, she jerked her shoulders up and gnawed on her bottom lip. "It just slipped from my mind." She turned away from Anna and the guy in the recording booth, who were listening on, and walked into the lobby. For better or worse, Tommy followed. "You left the room, I introduced myself to her, she did the same, and suddenly I lied. Don't expect more, or a better explanation. I don't have any."

"Liar."

"What?!" Here she was admitting to an embarrassing truth, and he accused her of lying? She erupted with sudden anger. "Are we back to that?"

"Look at us, Jude! We never left that!" He threw his hands up in frustration, and laughed with ridicule. "We just stopped talking."

"Yeah, whose fault is that," she snapped. "I'm not the one turned into an asshole all of sudden. All the many times you promised never to hurt me again! The last time really blew the line! You purposely made me cry, and didn't even apologize. It's not like I'd have forgiven you, but not even saying you were sorry made it really, truly clear you had stopped caring about our friendship!"

"So it's me, again." There was a bitter smile on his face. A sarcastic gesture. "I wish my life could be as easy as yours. Whatever happens in your life, you're never at fault. I don't know how you manage, Jude. Really!" That mocking gleam in his eyes caused Jude to ball her hands into fierce fists. He kept pushing her, not caring. "Did it, just for a split second, occur to you that you might have been wrong this time? Huh?"

"What's to be wrong about?" She glared at him with all pent-up chagrin that had built during the last weeks. "You knew how I felt all along! When you slept with my sister—"

"Oh God! Keep it, okay? I am done hearing about it. Obviously, things haven't changed. Stay in your studio, I stay in mine. Next time you lie, I'll sue you for defamation. See how the crap about your mental instability works in court. I'm having it up to here, dealing with your crap. Stay out of my life for good."

"I hate you." The words came out harsher than intended, and for the first time since she knew him, she actually wondered if she really meant them this time. Chances were that she did.

He didn't react. The chiseled chin, the dark eyes, the fine mouth, his strangely perfect brows – not one single movement. Nothing! Jude was devastated. The least she had expected was shock. No, the least she had expected was for him to show he cared about what she thought of him. One single twitch of his eye, and she would have known. But nothing came. He didn't care anymore. Then she wouldn't, either. Mutely turning her back on him, she walked into studio B, got her copy of the song, and then left to attend a party. Friends were waiting for her.

Tommy watched how she walked away from him, and then let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. She had hated him before. Often even! This time though was the first time he actually believed her. Was he shocked? Honestly…no. Not anymore. Their friendship had gone from good to bad, to chaotic, to very bad, and eventually it had ended.

"You're okay?" The soft voice came from the door of studio A. "That's the Jude, isn't she? The girl you told me about." There was nothing sad, or bitter, in Anna's voice. Just concern. "You want to talk about it? I know how those words can hurt. I've been told before. Hearing them, even when I'm not the addressed, gives me the chills. I hadn't meant to overhear. The door was open, and…Tommy?"

Finally he shifted, looking at her with hollow eyes. "She was my best friend. You know what's the weirdest part? I had no idea how important she really was to me until just now. No, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to think about her, or hear her, or speak out her name for a long while. Because, I just can't believe it actually ended like this."

"Okay. Well, I'm heading home now. Want to join me tonight?" The offer was new and it opposed the definition of their relationship.

With a soft, yet empty smile, he lightly shook his head. He was grateful she had offered it. He knew what they would end up doing would he agree, but tonight meaningless sex wasn't what he needed. Not even that would help him right now. All he wanted was to drown in work. "There's a song I want to finish."

"Fine." She walked up to him and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Give me a call tomorrow. G'night." She haltered at the door, not looking back as she added, "People who hate, care. It's not much but…well I'm leaving now. Don't work too long."

He stood still, even after she had long left, and remained in the lobby. Her words played back in his head, but also something else. This woman…she was just so different from Jude. Mature, wise, she had class and virtue and she never said something mean. Whereas Jude was just…such a teenager!

After a few minutes, he heard the heavy steal door in the back falling close and figured Jude had at last left and had taken the easy way out, as she always did. Not through the front, where she'd have to walk past him. But through the back. He hadn't believed this time would be different. With unmotivated, lazy steps he went into studio B, switched the PC off again, and turned the lights down. In a moment of uncharacteristic musings, he wondered if turning the light off wasn't a symbolic gesture for his part in having ended their friendship. A sardonic smile edged up his mouth as he once again thought about how Jude was driving him crazy. So much for not thinking about her, by the way! Pulling the door close on his way out of the room, he spotted something on the floor. An envelope. Addressed to Victoria Harrison.

Among many things, he wondered why it was on the floor. The most likely explanation was that it had fallen out of Jude's bag. Which brought him to the question as to why it had been in Jude's possession. Looking up the forwarding address, he frowned.

'Ontario Court of Justice'

He wasn't one to spy, or to read other people's mail to be precise, but this one sparked his interest for some reason he couldn't explain, especially after what had just happened. Nonetheless he placed it into his pocket for the time being, unwilling to give up on whatever information was inside. He closed the door shut, walked back into his studio, and resumed working.

Jude opened the apartment door and gave a sigh of relief. "You needed long!"

Shay's irritation showed quickly. "Geez, calm down. It's 7 am on a Tuesday morning. Be lucky I'm here at all. By the way, thanks for bailing on me last night! It waited for your song for hours! What's the rush anyway?" He handed her the bag of donuts she'd told him to bring along, and then entered. "Will you finally tell me what the hell is so important we have to meet at David's this early? How'd you get him to get up anyway?"

Swiftly looking away, to busy herself with the food he had brought along, Jude was neither able, nor in the mood, to explain that. Last night, after the fall out with Tommy, she had been depressed, and sad, and lonely, and a whole lot of other thing someone should not be – especially not when the friend you came to, hoping he'd take your mind off things, had a bottle of red wine in reach. "He was already awake," she only half-lied. "That's not the point right now. I lost it!"

"Your sanity?" Shay asked while splaying out on the couch. "Go figure."

"The letter!"

Now he was awake. "What? After all the trouble it took to get it in the first place? Do you know how hard it was to convince my stylist to play your mother, just so the messenger would hand her the letter? You got served! You don't lose those letters!"

"I know!" Jude groaned and with a donut half munched, she flopped down next to him. "What am I supposed to do now? You said you'd take care of it, and that all I had to do was get the letter. If you take care of it, anyway, why is the letter so important?"

"Did you even read it? They expect you to make a statement. The police will expect you! Why'd you have to spray that stupid poster anyway?"

"Hello? It was your freaking idea!"

"Hey!" Both looked over their shoulder, seeing a sleepy David stumbling out of his bedroom, only clad in a bed sheet. "What the hell is all this fuss about? I was sleeping. I didn't get much tonight!"

"I thought you were already awake?" Shay looked from him to Jude.

Jude looked away, ears burning.

Lucky for her, Shay didn't say what he no doubt thought. "Never mind. About the problem at hand – your mom will most likely receive a second letter, or a phone call, to remind her about the statement you'll have to give. Why don't you just tell her?"

"And get grounded again? No thanks!" The day hadn't even started yet, and it was already ruined. What a great prelude for her birthday. "Something else: Iggy called me. We need someone who is twenty-one to place an official liquor order for the birthday. To close the club for public, we need to book it officially. Then, however, he needs to order in our name, and since neither of us is twenty-one, we're stuck with juice so far."

"This day keeps getting better and better." David grunted in annoyance as his sleep deprived state left him testy. "Someone made coffee yet?"

"Kitchen." Jude said. When he walked into the other room, she was rudely pinched by Shay. "Ow!"

"Ow? What did you do! Sex with David?"

She had never felt as idiotic as she felt now. Every single time Tommy had argued with her immaturity proved to be a right one given her actions last night. Sad and drunk as she had been, better judgment had left her as fast as her clothes. It hadn't even been great. Just…different. It had lacked the incomparable intimacy she had experienced when with Tommy. Last night had been sweaty, satisfying on a different level that addressed more her body than her heart, but in the end, it had been nothing but a bad idea. Good thing was David had understood when she had told him that it had been a one-night thing and nothing more. At least he had understood last night.

"I screwed up."

"Damn right!" Shay agreed. "Look, you fix this thing with him, and I take care of the letter."

Jude wrapped her arms around him and gave a thankful smile. "Thank you."

Tommy saw her leaving studio B shortly after her arrival. If he wanted to talk to her, he needed to do it now. Kwest was busy recording, and Jude had yet to arrive. "Sadie wait! You have a second?"

The older Harrison nodded. Slightly surprised, she followed him into his office. "What's with the stern face?"

Tommy closed the door behind him, walked to his desk, and pulled the letter from last night out of a drawer. He hadn't meant to read it, but eventually curiosity had gotten the best of him. The contents had shocked him. Having heard already that Jude had decided to take a trip to the dark side of teenage life, he had however no idea she'd risk her reputation, but even more – her freedom for that. As Sadie read the letter, he summed it up for her. "Police will charge Jude for vandalism. She has to make a statement, not only for spraying a poster, but also for attempted bribery. My guess – Shay's work."

"I had no idea." Clutching the paper in her hand, she shook her head. "Mom and Dad are worried. She's staying out all night, always meets up with Shay and David. Her grades are falling, she's risking having to repeat this year. They already called Darius. He can't stop it, he said. He can't force her to study. He can't help the things she does when he isn't around."

"Maybe not that, but he can help with something else," Tommy muttered thoughtfully. "But, if it's a legal matter, he might be able to help. He can definitely do more than Shay. The letter was closed when I found it. Sorry for snooping around. Just…whenever Jude is involved, I tend to—"

"Forget right and wrong?" Sadie gave a sad smile. "I used to forget right and wrong when I was with you. Hence the night that seemed to have started all of this. If I could go back in time…" She trailed off.

Tommy smiled and nodded. "Me too." Seeing how Sadie kept glancing at the clock – something he then found he had never noticed while they still dated – he walked to his office door, and opened it again. "I don't want to keep you from your day. Mind if I keep the letter? I'm going to show it to D, hoping he can save Jude from herself."

"Okay, sure. You think they will send another letter? Jude will doubtlessly get grounded anew, and I'm afraid she might sneak out then. I'd rather know where she is, instead of just guessing and hoping."

"I'll tell D now, and I guess he'll do something right away. I give you a call later."

"Or just tell Kwest."

Tommy's brow rose, and a smirk edged up his cheek. "That serious, huh? Already sharing problems…"

Sadie laughed and playfully nudged his arm. "Shut up. He's a nice guy. I like him."

"So does he. Thanks for… Well, thanks for a lot, I guess. You don't need to be nice to me after how I treated you."

"I'm not one to hold grudges. See you!"

Following her out, he however went straight to his boss. The office door was unlocked, and as he entered, he heard him cursing and yelling, although nobody was inside the office to listen. "Darius?"

"Oh, sorry. Come in. Close the door." Taking seat in his leather throne behind the expensive wooden desk he had gotten himself from his first paycheck as a manager of Boyz Attack, he rubbed both hands over his face. A gesture of exaggeration, and also frustration. "I got a call from Shay's mother. Apparently he tried to bride a police officer. I just don't know why. Bloody idiot. If he walks into this building, make sure to keep him away from me. I can't guarantee for anything," he raged in renewed anger. "Moron!"

Tommy wasn't always a fan of Darius, but he never doubted the man looked out for his protégées. Therefore, it wasn't hard for him to tell him now what he knew was something Darius had a right, but more so, a duty, to know. "My guess is he tried to bride the officer so Jude wouldn't get arrested. And it might have worked on some part, since Jude indeed hadn't gotten arrested. Just charged for vandalism," he added carefully as he handed over the letter. A small part of him became worried. Never had he seen Darius's face so stern, but also upset.

A few moments of calm breathing, considering options, and two ibuprofen later, Darius visibly relaxed, and demanded from his secretary via intercom to call in his lawyer as soon as possible. "Start at the beginning."

After telling about the letter, most of last night's events, excluding some minor personal issues, and some of the things Sadie had just told him, both men sat in silence.

Suddenly Darius started laughing. Out of the blue, loud, honest laughter. Perplexed, Tommy narrowed his eyes. "What's so funny?"

"You want to know what Portia told me the day of the pool party, last year, when you tried to convince me to put your girl on the cover of SOLID?"

Tommy shrugged, not knowing if he wanted to know, or what it had to do with the problem at hand. Then again, he did want to know why his boss that he had doubted for years to be even capable of smiling, now shook in merriment. "Well?"

"'Just like Tommy!' That's what she told me. Jude was just like you. Headstrong, smart, but young and naïve."

He was never naïve, Tommy inwardly resented. "So? Portia said Jude and I are alike. What's with the chuckles?"

"Jude works for me exactly nine months now. That's down to the week the exact amount of time it took you to get arrested for the first time. Drunk driving, I believe. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be happy she's not as self-destructive as you were, or worried about the fact that she's by far more sneaky. Getting my nephew, who prefers to run over getting caught, to bribing a police officer for her? That's impressive. Bad, and wrong, but impressive. She's the very reason I don't like female artists. They are pretty and make flirty eyes, and suddenly all the men fall for her."

Getting the impression the ibuprofen might have been something stronger, Tommy decided it was the best not to comment on D's remark. "The fact remains that Jude is getting charged and in the worst case sentenced to probation. Sell that to her fans, who are young fourteen-year-olds, who spend their parent's money on Jude's music! It'll sell really well!"

"Point taken." Darius's face turned serious again. "So, you expect me to twist and turn the law as I did with you."

"Not for me. For Jude – who is your very well selling artist!" Someone had once told him there was always a catch. Always! As much as he'd like to think this time was different, he had to accept the simple fact that Darius Mills was a pragmatic man, who used his opportunities whenever he saw them. This must be a glorious one. He got to do something he'd have done anyway, and he could demand a favor in return for it. "You're making me do something for it, don't you? Albeit the fact you'll help Jude anyway!"

A smug expression formed on D's face. "It's been so long I had an I.O.U. on you. Can you imagine how good this feels? Almost makes up for the shit Jude and Shay have pulled. Grant me my few moments that I have over you. They have become rare enough. I know you'd do something on your own, even though – from the rumors I've heard – right now you and Jude are 'sworn enemies', if I don't help her. We both know I'm better in dealing with that sort of thing. We all win!"

"Your logic amazes me, as always," he snarked. "So, what shall it be? Christmas album with the Boyz? Charity concert? Now that Chaz is back, the other can't be far. Reunion tour?" Sarcasm and unhappiness spoke from him. He could walk out of this door, prove Darius wrong, and just let Jude deal on her own with the crap she had clearly not wanted him to deal with, anyway. Last night, he might have even done so. Today however, he regretted being mid-twenty and being wise enough to know that one day, everything might change all over again, and those who were foes, would be friends again. Then he'd regret having done nothing, and he already regretted enough in life. "Spill it!"

Darius opened his top drawer and pulled out a blank contract. "Sign on the dotted line."

Now it was on Tommy to gape. "What?"

"Why would I pay for a whole band when I can have the one that matters for much less? Don't think me stupid, Tom. The day you left the band, the Boyz went flat in a hurry. You're the face that sells, and the voice that matters. I came across a few songs lately. I'm not sure how Kwest managed to find them, however I'm grateful he did. After Frozen, I was afraid I might have actually scared you away for good. That'd have been too bad, don't you think?"

Tommy still tried to wrap his mind around the contract that rested in front of him. He had never given a conscious thought to restarting his singing career. Then again, he had never planned on signing for Darius again, but until recently he had also never thought he'd ever 'break up' with Jude, or whatever else it was that had happened between them. "I…don't know," he skeptically trailed off.

"I know we didn't do well together the last time. Not that any of that was my fault…"

As Darius rambled on, Tommy barely kept from rolling his eyes. His thoughts circled around the question whether or not it'd be smart to accept the offer. Sure, he loved singing, but he also loved producing. What remained however was that the main factor keeping him from signing with D was well…D. Interrupting Darius's elaboration of how great it could be for the both of them, Tommy flat out asked, "my songs, or yours?"

"Yours, of course. Approved by me."

Of course, Tommy wanted to sneer.

Darius placed his hand on the yet unsigned contract. "One call and all of Jude's troubles will go away like a drop of water on hot asphalt…"

"Poetic, aren't we?" Tommy considered his options, but knew there was only one choice to make. "Jude won't find out about this. You handle this, and whatever other shit she pulls, because she sure as hell ain't stopping with it, given her new friends! Also, I don't want any pressure coming from your side. If I do this, then on my terms!"

"Deal." Darius chuckled again. "Isn't it funny? Every morning I enter this building there are at least a hundred envelopes in my mail, all from eager musicians, most of them far from being talented at all, begging me to give them just one minute of my time to listen to a tape they produced with what I'm sure is hard worked-for money. You however have it all, plus me, asking you to sign. You though refuse and play hard to get. How's that?"

"Are you seriously asking?" Tommy scoffed. He stood up, having enough of him for the morning. "Think about it. You can hardly call us a well-working team! The last time I sang for you, someone literally died because of your control-issues. Don't sit there, asking me why I'm hesitating! Take care of Jude!" He grabbed the paper from him, signed with D's golden Mont Blanc pen, and then left, suddenly angry, mostly with himself though. He slammed the door shut on his way out. Not paying much attention to where he was going, he stumbled right into the very person he wanted to see the least that moment.

Life wasn't on his side that day. He was painfully reminded of that by a fresh, large-sized hickey on Jude's neck. In lack of a mood, or a friendlier word, he barked a sharp, "Watch it!" on his way to Kwest.

Jude's hurt face, the guilt-stricken eyes, and her faltering composure were all lost on him. Instead, he only heard her tartly countering. "Hey! I'm not the idiot running over other people!"

"You're just the one running away from people," he tossed back, being just in the right temper to fight. To think he just signed away three years of his life for her plainly confused him. Which didn't help one bit in his current state, or his loss thereof.

"Leave me alone already, will you? So what, I ran from you. Can you blame me for it? My life is better without you in it." Both stared mutely at each other. Jude's hard lines melted quickly into soft, rueful ones.

"I thought you hated me. Honestly, why are you even talking to me?" He took a couple of steps towards her, then touched her chin in a gesture so gentle that it stole her breath. He heard it hitch in her throat. When he tilted her face to the side, taking a closer glance at the hickey she knew was there, he bitterly laughed. "Must have been one hell of a night." Leaning closer, his breath fanned her reddish-glossed lips. Jude gasped. Tommy wanted to shake his head at her. How could she deny her feelings for him to the point that she actually spent a night – assuming that was what had happened – with another man? It didn't give him much hope, not that he planned on having so anyway, that their friendship could be rekindled one day.

In that second a sly, mocking voice in his head chimed, 'yet you signed the contract…'

He leaned back and let go of her. Icy as his eyes must have been in that moment, he said in all sternness, "Do yourself a favor and stay away from me. It's best for the both of us. As for your question as to whether I could blame you for running from us? No, I don't. But, I blame you for running from yourself." Then he walked away.