Chapter 21

Shay hung up the phone and stared at the device. "Is it really that easy? I thought they'd charge me, too, but…" A self-assured smirk flew up his cheeks. "I got loads of influence over people, turns out!"

"Shay!" Jude, nervously shifting in her ass in studio B, with her hands balled into anxious fists, thumbs curled inside, lost her patience. He could congratulate himself after he told her he'd fixed her problem. Had he fixed her problem? Her heart beat faster. "What did they say? Do I have to go to prison?"

Turning around with a wide smile, he shook his head and – stupid poser that he was – patted his own shoulder. "No charges at all. We're both good! Ha! How freaking awesome is that? One call from me, and life's a better thing. You owe me on, shorty!"

Yes. God beware he'd do this for free! Like uncle, like nephew! Rolling her eyes, Jude replied with the look of someone whose life had just been spared from the guillotine – a slow-growing smile that needed time to adjust to a brighter world. The adjustment happened faster and faster as seconds ticked by. It was her birthday after all and finally, after two nerve-wrecking days of waiting, and waiting, and even more waiting, finally everything had cleared up. "Don't worry, I know." She was a girl who kept her word. "But remember our deal! Nothing sexual or disgusting."

"I haven't forgotten," he snapped, half-offended. "You think I'm that desperate that I'd need your goodwill to score? I'm Shay!"

"S to the H to the A to the Y," mocked Jude.

Next to her, David snickered and leaned in for a whisper, "You think he shouts that during sex?"

Jude burst into laughter.

Shay whined. "Stop laughing at me!"

Then, from nowhere, the door flew open and a very pissed looking Darius appeared. Trailing closely behind was Tommy and even though Jude tried her best to actively not notice him, a blind person could tell he was simmering with anger. She gulped, lowering her head.

Darius blocked the doorway, spreading his arms. A move of dominance and power. "What is going on here?"

When David and Shay all but lost her their voice, she took it upon herself to grow a pair. "We're just celebrating my birthday."

Don't look at him, she kept telling herself. But, ugh, he was a so damn enigmatic. His eyes, dark and wild, laid on her without restraint. She'd not forgotten he'd caught her with hickeys on her neck. He wasn't an idiot. Tommy had doubtlessly counted two and two together. The final nail in their friendship's coffin. Sleeping with someone else to prove something no longer cared about was about as mature as a baby right after birth. Would she do it again? No. But wouldn't she do it because of Tommy, or because she had endangered her friendship with David? That question remained open.

While she half-heartedly listened as Darius lectured on and one about the very expensive instruments and the great value of studio B's recording equipment, items that were not purchased to serve as background décor to a bunch of chatty teens but was products to make him money, she tried to read Tommy's lips. Because Tommy had fallen into a heated discussion with Kwest, who'd also arrived. What had Kwest done? He hadn't been in yesterday, the day before he had been busy recording with her. Now that she thought about it, Tommy hadn't come near him then. What could have possibly happened between the two of them?

"Jude!" snapped Darius, yanking her out of her thoughts. "Care to listen? It is from you especially that I expect a greater effort. You should take a pause from parties and focus on songwriting. You nearly got"

Tommy cut in, stern and decisive. "Can we end this? I need to record with Shay. I want to leave early. My plans involve neither one of you and the sooner we're done, the better."

Shay shrugged at Jude but for once in his life, he did as Tommy wanted and followed suite.

Meanwhile, Kwest set up in the studio and motioned for Jude to enter the booth.

She didn't. When everybody was gone, and the door to studio B fell shut, Jude hopped onto the soundboard, feet dangling in the air. Even now, the air around her producer was suffocating. Whatever had happened, it troubled him. She dared to ask, "So – what's the matter with you and Quincy? I saw you two arguing and was about to interfere."

Kwest, never curt or dismissive, was both. And final, too. "None of your business. Booth. Now."

"Are you mad at me?" Her eyes widened. Why would he be? Then she remembered it was her birthday and Kwest hadn't congratulated her yet. A tiny, dumb part of had hoped even Tommy might congratulate her, despite their current fight. Friends, or not – there were the rules of politeness, weren't there?

And the way Tommy had made a point of mentioning his plans tonight most definitely didn't include her? What had that been about? Like she cared what he did or didn't do. Fine, she cared a little. Definitely less than a few minutes ago, because a simple 'Happy Birthday' would not have been too much to ask!

But back to Kwest, she told herself, and dug in. "What's wrong with you and Tommy?"

Kwest sat down, flipped the soundboard on, and reached for his headphones. He sidestepped her question. "Jude…I'm tired…of all of this. There's nothing but drama. All the time. I'm over it, okay? Can we just work? Happy Birthday, by the way."

"What drama?" Moving, feeling this was a chair-moment, instead of a 'sitting rebelliously on a soundboard'-moment, she took a seat, by that forcing Kwest to look at her. "Tommy and I are arguing. You should be happy. It's why you got promoted to being my full-time producer. Sorry if that annoys you."

"That's not it. I'm not even in the mood to explain it. I know you have your party later, so let's get this done with."

"You're invited." It was overdue to mention so, and right now it felt necessary. "And Sadie, too."

"Other plans. That is…not really. I don't know. I think about it, okay?"

"Okay." Afraid to risk a fight with Kwest as well if she kept pushing for explanations, Jude did what Kwest wanted and went to work.

Tommy looked up when somebody bumped into his side. When he spotted Sadie, smiley and upbeat, the force of his own bad mood sank in and he managed little more than to nod at her.

"Aw, Sulky. All by yourself?" Resting on her elbows against the banister of G-Major's first floor, she glanced at him with genuine concern but no less humor. "You look like my boyfriend sounded this morning. Is there something either one of you might want to explain? Did you get into it over something? Sports game? Music? Jude…? Come on, explain."

"Explain what? That Kwest went too far?" Shaking his head, Tommy leaned forward. It had been a tough to find it was Kwest who had hinted at Darius that he had written some new songs lately. Kwest knew of the deeply rooted bad blood between him and D and Tommy had always believed then when it came to picking sides, Kwest would chose his. "I'm far from being in a good mood, so you might want to save yourself from the risk of getting snapped at. It's this day, the whole week, just…life!"

The blond next to him looked lost. Until a single noise escaped her. "Aaah."

The sound was grating. Placating and understanding. Why was that? Tommy lifted his head, brows drawn in. "Aaah?"

"Angie."

Anger flashed over his features. Had Kwest given that information away, too? "How do you know?"

"Remember? Me – your biggest fan? The tabloids were covering her funeral because you attended it."

Naturally. "One of the many things in my life that I regret," he murmured ruefully. Not even laying her to rest had happened without the drama that surrounded his life. Now, with the signed contract hovering over his head like a sword, it was only a matter of time that cursed public interest returned. He wasn't willing to endure it another time.

"Not to forget the drama my sister brings to you." Sadie placed a hand on his arm, for support. "Yeah, I get it. Bad time to be you. If you want to talk, I'm here. Or, if you just need distraction, I cook dinner tonight. Mom is out, Jude's having her party at some club I wouldn't enter, neither for nor with a pair of Manolo's. Kwest will come, too. Bring Anna! I like her. She's nice."

He wasn't sure company was the cure he needed. But he appreciated her effort. "Thanks, Sadie."

"Call me Sades. All my good friends do."

"Also your boyfriends do," Kwest chimed sardonically from down the stairs. "I heard you were here, so I came looking for you. How is it I always see you with him? Isn't it interesting the two of you talk more now than you did when you were together?"

"You know," warned Sadie, "I think you made a joke. A bad joke, but a joke nonetheless. And if you apologize for it, now, I'd be inclined to forgive and forget about it. Because if this wasn't a joke…"

Tommy could see the argument as it formed in the air. Hastily, he aimed for the steps, planning his exit.

At the bottom, Kwest get in his way. He'd not heeded Sadie's warning. "Then what?"

As though being sucked into Sadie's and Kwest's issues wasn't enough, Jude's sudden arrival put the cherry on top. "What's going on? Sadie?" Jude being Jude did what she always did and jumped to conclusions. "Oh my God! Is that what's going on between you and Kwest?" When she looked at him, her eyes brimmed with disgust. "You go after Sadie again?!"

He was done. He wouldn't fight. He wouldn't yell. He wouldn't even deign her bullshit with a response. Making a show of walking around Kwest and Jude, he stepped away from the group and mutely exited.

Jude, back inside G-Major, stared after him, furious.

"You dare to say that?" Even with the soft rosy eye shadow, the pink lip-gloss, and the more than lightly added rouge that all was meant to convey the image of her being the perfect, innocent girl next door, Sadie still pulled off a look that had Jude flinching backwards. "You really find it appropriate to go and say that? You are every bit the child you are. I'm sorry for you. I truly am. And you," she then hissed at Kwest, "do you really believe I'd cheat on you? God, Kwest! He's your best friend. I can't believe you'd rile him up like that, especially this time of the year!"

"What's the time got to do with anything," snapped Jude, indignant at Sadie's comments. She flung her arm around Kwest. "I think Kwest had a right to be mad at him. Tommy's known for cheating."

Baffling her, Kwest yanked free of her loose embrace, barking back at her, "You don't know anything!" Then he, too, left without another word.

Dumbfounded, she glared at Sadie, expecting an explanation. Just when she thought she had figured it out, all was wrong again? "What just happened?"

"Don't you feel sorry?"

"For what?" Anger rose in Jude, too. First bitched at, then ignored, now being scolded, and all that without even knowing what she had done wrong, Jude narrowed her eyes, and scoffed. "All of you, you're idiots! You yell at me, bitch at me, blame me for things I apparently don't know anything about, and now, on my birthday, you have nothing better to do than make me feel like a moron for having said nothing that hasn't been said by you, or Kwest, before?"

"We don't know everything," Sadie agreed with more composure than Jude had, "but did it ever occur to you that maybe you don't know everything, either? Tommy needed a friend today. A good one. And what did he get? You hate him for something that's your fault, Kwest blows up on him for something Tommy really didn't do, and the worst thing of all is that the one person that he really needs these days has nothing better to do than tell him over and over again that she hates him! Yes, Jude – we are the idiots! Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm starting to fear you get stupider by each birthday. FYI, I know about the spray painting-thing, the police, and the other crap. And the fact that you actually believed you'd get away with it really makes me worry about your mind these days!" Leaving her with those words, Sadie followed Kwest and Tommy out of the building.

Jude needed a moment to collect enough strength to move. When she had, she went back to the studio, although nobody was waiting for her any longer. Passing studio A, a worried looking Shay – he doubtlessly had watched the scene in the lobby – stood there as she walked by. "Are you okay, Shorty?"

There were a million things she could have done now, but for some reason she couldn't come up with only one. Instead, she brushed passed him, roared a snide, "Don't call me that!", and stormed into studio B to find some solitude. The day wasn't even halfway over, and for a birthday, it was a bad one thus far!

Kwest had found him at the docks, where they had quickly cleared the air. They were friends for long enough to get past something as stupid like misplaced jealousy in no time. Then he had explained why he had given Darius some of the rough demos Tommy had recorded. Kwest had been there with Tommy from day one of his music career and never had he sounded better or more honest. Those songs, Kwest told him, were too good to die in a drawer.

After that, he'd spent the night at Sadie's, with Anna, Sadie, and Kwest, and despite limited expectations, it had gone over surprisingly well. It reminded Tommy once again of the difference between a teenager and a grown up. Funny thing, he then thought, thinking of himself as a grown up.

But the day had dragged on. His body was exhausted and his head tortured by pain. As he waited for his apartment's elevator door to chime open, he glanced at his watch. One minute past midnight. Two months ago, he had actually wondered if his totaled Ferrari would survive a life as Jude's newest toy. The bet, then still present, had caused him more than one sleepless night. Not because he'd feared losing it, but because it had been nearly too tempting to do so. With his heart eager to feel again, and his mind finally ready to accept that age difference was not exclusively a flaw, but sometimes an opportunity, he now occasionally wished he had never ended things with Sadie. Not because he had been happy with her, but because he hadn't been unhappy. He had been safe with her. At least, his heart had.

Ultimately reaching the desired floor, he soon realized he wasn't alone in the corridor. Cowered in front of his door, with a bouquet of yellow roses in her hand, sat Jude. She looked much like the wreck he felt like. Too exhausted, however, to fight, or even to argue, he wordlessly walked up and watched how she stood up when seeing him. When he reached her side and she held out the flowers, he just took them, unlocked his door, entered, and waited for her to follow.

Not knowing whether he even owned a vase, he didn't bother looking for one. Not seeing her but hearing her nearby footsteps, he filled the silence with a weak joke. "Got so many of these today, you figured they might make a cheap makeup gift?"

Cracking a smile, she hopped onto the counter in his kitchen and watched him rummage through his fridge for a midnight snack. When Tommy handed one off to her, a cheese bar he knew she liked, she startled.

"What? No longer like it?"

Fingers frozen mid-air, she lowered them instead of taking the cheese.

Tommy put it back. "Suit yourself. Water?" he asked as he grabbed a bottle for himself. No reply from Jude. Eyes rolled. "A simple yes or no would—" The words stopped when he saw her.

She was wiping tears from her face.

"Jude?" Maybe it was the exhausting day or the exhausting weeks that lay behind him. He'd lost his interest in arguments. Or explanations. Or long-winded talks. He only wanted peace. "Are you here to apologize?" Leaning back at the now closed fridge door, he waited patiently until she was ready to say or do whatever she'd come for.

Speaking after gulping down a heavy lump, Jude no longer looked like the savage musician that could slay hearts with a few well-chosen words. She looked fragile and incredibly young. "Sadie said you needed a friend today and she wouldn't have told me if it weren't true. I know we screwed up, you and I. I get it." More tears fell. "But when it matters, I'm here for you. You know that, right? Tell me you know that."

No, he didn't know that. Calmly, after a sip of water, he replied, "You told me you hate me."

He might as well have told her aliens were real. Her shock wouldn't have been greater. Blinking away the dampness in her eyes, she vehemently shook her head. "Don't you know me better than that? If I had needed you, you would have been there."

"Yes." The answer did not need to be thought about. Because he was always there when she needed him. He didn't know what that said about him.

"I am here for you."

"Okay."

"Okay?" Jude scooted off the counter. "That's it?"

"What do you expect?" Tommy placed the bottle away. "Wait here." She wanted to know how serious their troubles were? He'd not intended to it now, or today, but here she was. From his bedroom, he returned with a gift. "Here."

Shaky hands took it from him, unsure what to make of it. "You got me a gift? You haven't even congratulated me to my birthday." Unwrapping it as fast as she could, she sniffled away the drying tears, only to gasp when she discovered the content. A picture frame. Inside the frame was a picture they had taken on her sixteenth birthday, with his cell phone, right before ending the driving lesson he had given her in his Viper. The car still was in its parking space downstairs. The two people inside it, though? Did they survive? He pulled the keys to a car from his pocket and handed them over. "Trash it, place another picture in it. Honestly, I don't care. It's yours and giving it to someone else seems unfair to both you, and the person who'd get it in your place instead." It was now that she actually looked at the key. He stared straight at her. "A bet is a bet and I want to move on. I'm past all this, Jude. The last days were hard for many reasons, but what hurt the most was seeing how easy you gave up on us. I fought for you for months. Not to be your boyfriend, but to be your friend. The least I expected was for you to do the same. Realizing you'd rather make new friends, or rekindle old friendships – however you want to put it – was what I needed to see to tell you this: I'm done. For good. No fighting, no bitching, no nothing else. I'm just done. When I see you, I will be polite, but I will not care, and then I will keep walking just like you told me to."

Her tears fell anew.

For a long, dense minute she stood there, the frame in one hand, the key in the other, lost. Until, eventually, she pocketed the key without saying a single word. She turned around in silence and walked away.

"Jude?" She didn't turn but paused on her way to the door. "The car is downstairs, in front of the main door. I hope you will forgive me if we stick to the initial bet. Honestly, losing a car is hard enough – losing my apartment would be unpractical."

"You don't…" The words were raspy, and she cleared her throat. "You don't have to do this! I don't want the car!"

"With this bet done, there's nothing left between us. Let's keep it that way. Goodnight." Tommy shut the door.

Chapter 22

"Damn it!" Jude jiggled at the sparking plug and grunted curse after curse. It was the time of the year, wasn't it? It had to be! Around Christmas, everyone and everything always conspired against her. This year proved to be no exception! It was the day of Christmas Eve and she was late to say it kindly. Lacking even a single gift to hand over later tonight at the party that her friends had organized, all she wanted was to dash to the mall and grab a few items. The broken car was not part of the plan. "Oh, for crying out loud! Damn Mustang!"

The curse had not left her lips yet when a chuckle echoed from behind her. The husky sound, the way it came out of nowhere, how it was aimed at her – could it be? Closing her eyes for a second before summoning enough courage to turn around and find out for sure, Jude breathed in and looked over her shoulder. Thank God there was no smile on her face, else it would have fallen off. It wasn't the first time her mind played tricks on her lately, but mistaking her mother's chuckle for one as characteristic and unique as that from Tommy? That was a new one. Jude forced out a smile. "Hey Mom, you're back from your trip with Don already?"

"He just dropped me off." The luggage was next to her on the snow-covered pavement. "There's a perfectly functioning, literally brand-new one-hundred and fifty-thousand dollar Ferrari inside this garage, driven twice the most. I will not even ask you again why that is the case. I would only like to mention that this very car is the reason my not nearly as expensive, and by far less well-built Ford must endure this icy winter outside. Give me one good explanation why you prefer driving this rusty wreck that you call vintage over that smooth baby I call stud. Just one! And if it's just because the color isn't right, or the engine is too heavy, I'd be delighted to take the car off your hands. For free; of course, given the fact it's you who is making the big money in this family."

Jude's shoulders sagged. She slammed the hood shut, and sighed. "No one is driving the Ferrari. One day, when Quincy thinks he has punished me enough with the whole 'I don't even want to know you'-crap he is pulling, I will give the car back to him. It's not mine – It's his. And, as a cordial as he can be at times, he also knows very well how to be an asshole – forgive me my choice of words! This one," she added as she pointed the red stud-horse, "is purely meant as a reminder of how much I screwed up our friendship. He did this deliberately. That whole crap about paying up his bet is nothing but bullshit!"

Victoria nodded with resignation. "Right. The bet. From what I have found out about it so far, it involved a car, an apartment, a boyfriend, words I don't know, and something else. What's the something else?"

"Something that happened, and what will never happen again. The same goes for the words, too, by the way. Don't worry. To sum it up in one sentence: Tommy and I both overestimated the friendship we had and what it could endure." She checked the time again. "Can I borrow your car?"

Rolling her eyes, Victoria tossed her the keys. "Mall's closing early today, I hope you remembered that."

"Shit," Jude muttered. So much for changing first! Well, now it was shopping while wearing oil-covered clothes. "See you later, Mom."

"Bye honey. Drive safely."

Of all the days the year had to offer, did Quincy and his new chick really have to do their Christmas shopping on this day? Jude short-stopped behind a giant display of extra-soft silk scarfs and ducked. Damnit! Now what? If she proceeded toward the counter, she'd run into him. Then, she'd be forced to acknowledge him. Talk to him. Look at him. Them, that was. He and his oh-so grown-up girlfriend with the— Eyes narrowed. Jude leaned forward, using this moment for a good look. Was Anna wearing the new YSL combat boots? The very same boots she'd seen Courtney Love wear while out and getting paparazzi'ed in New York? The exact pair she'd begged her parents to let her buy but were deemed a frivolous expense? It couldn't be! How would Anna be able to afford them? She could hardly afford them! A damn good portion of her savings would vanish if she bought those boots. But, oh, were they were worth it!

That was…Quincy could afford them. Of course. Doting boyfriend and all that. He'd always liked it when his arm-candy looked the part and while it did surprise her she wore boots instead of red pumps and ripped jeans instead of a tight mini skirt, at the end of the day, Anna still looked dressed. With her plunging black tank and her studded leather jacket – though, unless Tommy sprung for that as well, she'd dare a guess and call it pleather – Anna was every bit the eyecatcher her former producer got off on parading around.

And that eyecatcher had nothing better to do than run her short, black fingernails up and down his arm while whispering something into his ear.

Ugh, the dramatics! Jude bit back a snort. Whatever it was Anna had told him, she sure as hell hadn't needed to whisper it. What was so important that nobody else could hear it? Nuclear launch codes? With rolling eyes, Jude straightened up. Screw it. Why did she have to hide? She'd come to shop and shopping, she would do. Grabbing her basket with the last-minute gifts, Jude squared her shoulders and emerged from her hiding space, striding forward with poise and style. Eyes up, she pretended not to see them, aimed straight for the counter, and— "Ooooouuch! Jesus Fucking Christ at a Stones concert!" Yelling, she rubbed her elbow. Who had put that damn shelf there?

Tommy's voice tore through her pain. "Jude?"

So much for smoothly sailing past the couple…

"Yep, it's me." Continuing to rub her sore elbow, she faced around and smiled, fake though it was. "Little ol' me, buying some gifts. Like every year."

An awkward mixture of a smile and a frown rested on Tommy's face. He then patted Anna's arm. "You remember Anna?"

"Replacement-chick?" She inwardly winced. Outwardly, too. "Shoot! I didn't mean that." Lowering her head, apologizing – what else?!, Jude brought her hand up and pinched the small of her nose, mentally berating herself. "I'm so sorry! It's this time of year. I'm stressed out. I'm short some gifts. I got a bad case of verbal diarrhea. Better keep away from me. It catches."

"You're funny," remarked Anna with a tone that said, 'can we leave? Now?!'

"Sure am," agreed Jude, feeling anything but that. "Nice shoes."

"My boots?"

"Fancy ones. Considered buying the same."

"Dupes. 29,99 at Target."

That explained it. "Well, I considered buying the real ones."

"Jude," warned Tommy.

Only to be stopped by his girlfriend. "Couldn't afford 'em?" teased Anna. "They are a bit pricy; I get it. And I suppose the income of a struggling one-time participant of a third-rate singing contest is limited."

Jude used a moment and took in the slender blonde. Anna was sweet and her smile kind, but below the surface, of that Jude was certain, a sharp mind and a snarky tongue lived, both of which she'd only seen fragments of. From her, Jude glanced at Tommy, who visibly struggled to bite back a grin. How far they'd fallen. In the old days, he used to laugh with her, not at her. "Says the girl wearing knock-off boots and dating a guy who in one month makes ten times the money you make in an entire year. I get why you're dating him. Be that as it may," continued Jude, loud and clear, taking away from Anna and Tommy the chance to cut in, "I'm currently saving up for a guitar." A little white lie. What was it to anyone that she still needed her parents' permission to shell out two grants for a pair of boots? Boots she no longer wanted now that they were available for cheap and worn by the rebounds of this world. "Well, I must leave you. I have some shopping to return to. I wish you a merry Christmas and plenty of gifts. Real or dupes," she added. "Anna, Tommy, have a good one."

Anna gave another one of those phony smiles.

Tommy remained quiet.

Chapter 23

Two months had passed. It was February, snowing heavily, the wind was icy, and her damn car broken again. Jude tried to remember the exact moment when life had become such a bitch, but only managed to narrow it down to some point between Christmas and today.

It was the twenty-seventh and Tommy's Birthday.

Last year around this time she had been inside his apartment, with a glass of champagne in her hand, happy and elated to be invited to his birthday party, a selected crowd of roughly ten people he liked to spend more than just some occasional chatter with.

This year, with Chaz around, as well as her sister being invited instead of her, Jude knew that Tommy currently enjoyed a surprise party in some fancy hotel, with a cool band, bunches of famous people, nice outfits, liquor, and – most importantly – a functioning heating system. Maybe she was repeating herself, but what the heck: "DAMN CAR!"

In retrospect, she really should have given the many complaints of her mother a listen, and – instead of stubbornly refusing driving a car she was given on free will – just damn well take it! Not that the whole 'in retrospect'-thing was helping her in this very moment! Her Dad was out of town, on some business trip. Her Mom was God knows where with her lover-boy. Sadie – wearing a sleeveless dress, because she was in a warm ballroom! – was with Kwest, who also got to revel in the perks of being at a very big, lavish birthday party. Tommy she couldn't call, either. One: He was the birthday boy. Two: They weren't speaking with each other. Three: Stubbornness. And, lastly, four: He had gotten a new phone, and she didn't know his new number. Why was that? Because she wasn't a part of his life anymore.

"STUPID, DAMN CAR!"

At least she still had friends. "Hey Shay." He had answered after the first dial tone. "It's me. My car crashed again and…what's that noise? Are you at Tommy's party? I hear a crowd of people singing Happy Birthday in the background. You said you wouldn't attend. Loyalty, remember?! I can't believe you!"

A short argument over the pros and cons of being Darius Mills' nephew later, plus some brief insults aimed at him for being such a suck-up to his uncle, the phone call ended mutually and on bad terms.

Minus one friend, she then called David. "Hey, it's me. My car crashed. What do you mean, you know? How – Oh my God! You're with him, aren't you? You both are at Tommy's party?"

David hedged around. "Party…I mean…I had to! My new girlfriend found out about it and—"

She was done. "Oh don't argue with me. I don't care if your stupid debate team chick is a Boyz-fan and sexmailed you! I'm Jude. You were my friend first, and FYI you had sex with me before you had sex with her!"

"Shall I call you a cab?" he offered.

She snorted. "I can call my own cab." Another one of those mutually ended phone calls.

Minus two friends, plus one crappy car! That equaled a bad day, didn't it?

Jude then tried calling Sadie, despite knowing she'd have to leave a kick-ass party. Sadie didn't answer. Kwest didn't, either. Nor did Jamie and calling him really took some overcoming! It was a devastating moment for her to realize those were the only people she knew well enough to call.

She spotted a small tree branch on the floor. She picked it up. Then she hit her car with it. Over, and over, and over. "DAMN, STUPID, CRAPPY, SHITTY CAR!" After that she felt a hell of a lot better. Not for long, though. Her feet were freezing up, her nails icing over, her nose starting to turn a blackish shade, and on top of all it started to get dark.

Well, there was one person she hadn't called yet. She didn't know his number. Might as well, just for the tiny bit of an actual chance he might answer, try his old phone anyway. She hit number one on speed dial. Dial tone. Dial tone, again. Dial tone, yet again.

"Hello?"

"Quincy? Don't hang up! It's me. You're virtually my last chance. My lifeline, so to say. Because papa, I'm in trouble deep and—"

"Jude!"

"My car broke down, I don't know where I am, so I can't call the auto club, all my friends have better things to do, my sister and Kwest have their phones off, and lucky for me I reached you despite your new number. Please, can you just tell Sadie I am on that deserted shortcut I always use when I'm on my way home from the studio?"

"The one through the forest?" She heard him cursing. It did funny things to her stomach. Equally good and bad. He cared, despite claiming not to do so any longer! However, he cared also meant a lecture was in the making. "I told you a million times you shouldn't drive there. Barely anyone drives by, it's deserted, and without any streetlight. What the hell were you thinking!?"

"How to get home as quickly as possible?" They had had this argument a hundred times before, and she knew already how it'd end. Nonetheless, this was the first time she was genuinely glad he was the kind of person who never stopped saying things until he was sure she had understood. He could bet his life she'd never take this road again…soon. "Quincy, can you continue to yell at me the next time you see me? My battery is dying, it's getting dark, and since you know me despite not wanting to, you can imagine I'm a little scared right now. Not to mention cold! Please, tell my sister to pick me up."

"She's not here."

"What?" Jude's heart fell, and the 'little scared' turned into 'really frightened!' "But, she said she'd be one of the firsts to be at your surprise party.

"Oh."

"Oh what?" She asked with the impatience of a girl facing a serious life or death-situation.

"Oh, that's where the address I got this morning will lead me! I assume I'm on my way to my surprise party then."

"But, when I called Shay, they were already singing… Never mind, just – can you at least tell me where the hell I am, and how the street I'm currently freezing to death on is called? I think my phone survives one more call to a cab company, or the auto club. With just a little luck, one will even pick up!" So what if she made it sound a wee bit more dramatic than it actually was? She was freezing and scared!

"I don't know the name of the street. Stay inside your car, keep the doors closed, and wait for me. I need five minutes to be there."

"But…your surprise party."

"Well, you better have a present for me when I reach you, then!" His joke triggered a smile, and the parts of her face that hadn't yet frozen over, lightened up significantly.

"If you don't mind," she muttered with a blush, "I'd like to keep you on the phone until then. Or – until my battery dies."

"I don't mind." She hadn't heard this soft, warm tone of his voice in months. He was a pretty stunning person now that she thought about it. Whatever problem she had, he was always there for her. Even when he went on about how he'd cut her from his life, he still saved her whenever she needed to be saved. Guilt settled inside her stomach.

"In case I forget to mention it when you get here: Thank you. Really, really thank you. It's your birthday, and I'm sure you'd prefer partying instead of rescuing me from myself. I don't have a present, yet, but be sure, tomorrow you'll get a huge one. I would have gotten you one, but I wasn't invited to your party." She felt just sly enough to point that out.

On the other end of the line, she heard him chuckling. "I seem to remember not having been invited to your birthday, either."

"You hardly missed anything," Jude told him with a hint of unresolved chagrin. "David and Shay got into a fight over who could get drunk the fastest, SME played referees. Wally then ended up in the arms of a fourteen-year-old whose father ended our party at two am when he came to pick his daughter up. She and Wally were in a stall at that time, and let me tell you things did not end well!"

"Sounds still better than your sixteenth."

"Yes," she agreed with a reminiscent smile, "though even that day had its good moments."

"Yeah…"

Shivering heavily, Jude stumbled upstairs. She wanted nothing but a hot bath, some fluffy flannel PJs, and maybe some ice cream, when she was feeling a little less like a polar bear. "Th-th-thanks for taking me-me-me home."

"If you hope I'm having pity with you just because you're making a show out of prolonging each word, think again. You brought this to your own. I told you more than once it's stupid to drive that road, but you stubbornly ignore me on that."

Jude huffed with indignace. "I am not stubborn."

"Case in point," he countered. He took the keys from her and opened the front door. "Take a bath, get into bed, and I'll call you tomorrow and make sure you're alright. Want me to send Sadie home, once I see her?"

"No, don't bother. I will just sit here all on my own, uninvited to any cool party, and have fun with myself." When his brow did that incredibly adoring, intrigued arch, Jude blushed. "I didn't mean…It came out wrong!"

"I get it, don't stress." She swore there was a smirk hiding in the creases of his concerned face. "I would invite you," offered Tommy, his frown depening, "but that would imply you and I are friends again. We're not, are we? After all, you hate me." He said it lightly, but the words she had flung so recklessly many a moon ago still wore that hurt he'd experienced.

They'd made their way up her house and Jude plopped down on her bed, tugged the comforter she sat on securely around her shoulders, and looked down, murmuring with shame, "I'm sorry for that. Just, with everything that had happened, it wasn't an easy time, and I was really confused. I was hurt, and then you said something, and I said something, and then I said…well…that." She'd done wrong. She knew. But she hadn't been the only one. "Don't make me the devil here. Your whole 'I don't want to know you anymore'-crap wasn't easy listen-material, either." Sighing heavily, she blew a bang from her forehead, too full of rue to look up. "Why do we always fight? Last year we didn't."

"We did," he disagreed. Tommy reached out and tugged the comforter further around her neck. "We just called it flirting. You're still shivering. It's not a game, is it. You really are freezing?" Before she could answer, he took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Shoes off, along with your other clothes. Your shoes are wet. I bet you have wet socks, too. I'll draw you a bath, and then make you some tea. I don't want you to get sick."

The cold had drained the energy from her bones and so she sat up to do as she was told. "If you don't want me to get sick," Jude quipped, "you might want to keep the tea away from me. I'm all for hot chocolate, though." A sheepish grin later, she kicked off her damp boots, daring to joke, "And turn around, perv!"

Chuckling, he left the room for the adjoining bathroom, starting to draw a bath. As he looked around, he realized he had never been in here. Jude's room he had seen once, only when Victoria had been on a run, and Jude had still been asleep. He had had to wake Jude, and that experience had shown him Jude was a horrible morning person, by far worse than he was.

As he took in the room, he discovered funny smiley-stickers on the tiles, towels with various characters from the Sesame Street, a TV show he knew Jude would never stop loving. At that moment, he had to think of last week, and how he had been in Anna's bathroom. There, scented candles, gray tiles, and matching black and white towels had made for a perfect atmosphere, calm and relaxing, ready for any bathroom advertisement.

Sadie recently had told him that she thought Anna and Jude had a lot in common. Tommy knew better. They might wear the same clothes, or like the same music, but other than that they were entirely different. Jude was clumsy, stubborn, open, carefree, adventurous, and – most of the time – fiercely unafraid of doing what she wanted to do. Anna was calm, and always aware of the consequences of each step she took. Jude's smile could lighten a whole room, Anna's was merely visible. Jude could easily suffocate when she laughed because she laughed with every aspect of her being. Anna could barely be heard.

As he looked for some foam bath, he discovered a small purple glass bottle, with a flower on it. Jasmine. So, this was why she always smelled of it. With a smile, he reached for it and poured a little bit into the water. When he set it back, he reached for one of those funny towels and placed it next to the bathtub, unable to suppress a grin as a Big Bird's face stared back at him.

"You're falling in love with my towels, aren't you?" Jude stood in the doorway, undressed, but wrapped inside a bathrobe. She still looked amazing. For the first time in a long while he felt his body reacting to her, and not his broken heart. Drawn to her, to her beauty, to her warm embrace, he ripped his gaze away from her and back to a pink piece of terrycloth, with the Big Bird-face in one corner.

"They are funny," he admitted. "Bath is ready. I'll wait downstairs. Call me if you need anything."

Jude nodded. "Will do." Her voice dropped to a whisper as the intimacy of this moment sank in. There was something in his eyes that she hadn't seen in a long while, and it stole her composure as well as her breath. It wasn't lust, although she was practically naked underneath her robe and he wouldn't fault him for it, or disgust, in spite of the fact that she had hurt him, and she knew. No. What she saw was longing. That same longing she felt in his presence when wishing for his arms to hold her and to show her she wasn't alone. Friends were a great thing, and she had good ones, although occasionally they preferred a party over her. But she missed having that one special person she could always go to, knowing he'd never turn his back on her, with his arms wide open, and his eyes forever understanding.

In that moment she knew. She wasn't scared anymore. Whatever reason she had had last year for running away when he had wanted her to run to him instead, it no longer existed. The fear of getting her heart broken, and in consequence losing Tommy not just as a boyfriend but also as a part of her life, was gone. She had told him she hated him, they had fought, argued, and he had told her he wanted her out of his life for good. Regardless of all that, he was here, in this very moment, leaving the room only to make hot chocolate for her, just because she needed him, and he knew. She'd never lose him, and now she knew.

Not quite comfortable searching the Harrison kitchen for the items he needed, he was happy when he found all necessary things quickly. As he sat up a pot to boil the water, having never been a fan of instant-anythings, he glanced to the clock in the corner of the room, right next to the window. He had been supposed to arrive at his surprise party an hour ago, having been late already before Jude had called. Giving a short call to Chaz, he informed his unhappy friend that some major thing had occurred, which would keep him busy for the rest of the night. Without specifying, not willing for several reasons to bring Jude's name up, Tommy then assured Chaz he'd make up for it, and that they should have a party on him instead.

After hanging up, he finished up with the hot chocolate, placed Jude's cup onto the counter, and took a seat at it. The last time he had been in this house while Jude was here too had been after discovering Jude drunk in a club, and subsequently taking her home. It had only been a short stay, and the kitchen he had not been. The last time he had been in this room must have been even before Jude had found him in that bad situation with Sadie. So much had happened. It always amazed him how rooms stayed mostly the same, even over long periods of time. They made it seem nothing had changed when in reality the whole world had shifted and lives had been shaken. The wallpaper was still the creamy white one with the subtle hint of a floral pattern. The picture on the fridge still displayed Jude and Sadie, laughing over something. The furniture was still the same. He just felt different being in here.

Tugged out of his thoughts by Jude, Tommy took in with irritation how she placed a record in front of him, on top of the counter. It was an original Iron Maiden recording – The Soundhouse Tapes. He had searched for that specific one for months at this point. "Wow! Where'd you find it?" From the corner of his eyes, her lack of clothing caught his attention and the faint scent of jasmine which had begun to fill the air. He focused on the record, instead.

She took the stool next to him, tightening her robe as she did. Her tone was demure. "It's yours."

Tommy's gaze snapped up. She was kidding, right? "I don't understand – you're willing to sell this? How much?"

"Nothing. You've been very nice today, although you had absolutely no reason to." Looking away, she tried to hide the blush on her cheeks. Still red-faced from the hot water that she had soaked in for at least fifteen minutes, Jude shrugged sheepishly. "I found it around New Year's. Traded my Nirvana Test Recording for it. It was a fair trade. And I know you will appreciate this gift. Happy Birthday."

With a shake of his head, he refused. "It's too much. As much as I'd love to take this baby home with me…Jude, we're nowhere near a place where we trade these kinds of gifts."

"Did you know Sadie got me U2 tickets for Christmas?"

He knew. "Yeah?"

"I think this record is worth pretty much the same as two exclusive VIP tickets for the U2 concert last month. We sat in the front row and had backstage passes. Sadie told me she'd won them that day in the mall when I ran into you and Anna. I was there that day. There was no U2 giveaway. If Kwest had gotten the tickets for her, he wouldn't have managed to keep it to himself. And you need connections to get those tickets, Tommy."

"She paid for them," he lied.

"She doesn't have that much money." Taking a shy glance at him, Jude pushed the record further toward him. "Why won't you admit that it was you giving her the tickets? She already admitted, by the way. I just want to thank you, and I know you're dying to hear this little baby." She tapped a finger to the record in front of her. "Just take it. It's yours. If it makes you feel better, I didn't buy it for you, however, I think you deserve to have it."

His sight was trained on the record as he played his actions down. "I couldn't go to the concert. I got the tickets for free. It wasn't the big gesture you think it was."

"The day after the concert, Chaz told me how you pulled in quite a few favors to get those tickets. I know you better than you want me to. You're nice, and considerate, and most of the times you're pretty damn perfect – when you're not having sex with my sister, that is!"

Tommy looked at her and discovered Jude smirking, her shyness making room for the light banter that used to be their friendship. "Swear, Jude, they're making more of it than there's to the tickets. Yes, I called in a favor. I didn't pay for 'em. A friend of mine owed me. I knew you love the band and I also know Sadie loves the band. She wanted to get you something special because you had a tough year – her words – and that's that."

Instead of withdrawing the record, she nudged it even further toward him, insisting he take it. "I never appreciated you. I demanded things from you I wasn't ready to do myself. If there was a chance to go back in time, I'd give everything for it. But I can't. All I have left is making amends. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the last few months, for being a coward, and for not believing in you when I should have. I don't hate you. I never could. I'm sorry for ever having said so."

Shifting in his seat so he could have a better look at her, he noticed the honesty that brightened her eyes, and the sincerity her expression conveyed. All the times he'd sworn to himself he'd hold this grudge and not let go of it had been for naught. He, too, wanted to move on. "I'm sorry for having pushed you. I'm sorry for having demanded too much, myself. I'm sorry for having wanted to live my life without you, knowing I never could."

A long and extensive sigh of relief escaped Jude's lungs. It made him smile. "Does that mean no more avoiding each other?"

"No more avoiding each other," he promised.

If somebody asked him how he had gotten here, he'd not be able to answer it without a frown. He wasn't so sure about it, himself. Last night, they had been in the kitchen, drinking hot chocolate and catching up – superficially only, both unwilling to risk an argument at that fragile state of their renewed friendship. At some point, he had walked her upstairs. She had seemed so breakable. For reasons he'd rather not dwell on, he found himself reluctant to leave, and when she had asked him to stay, he hadn't denied that wish.

Now here he was, in Jude's bed, with her slender body curled against his left side. One arm was draped over him, one leg bent over his. Loose tendrils of her long, of vanilla-scented hair were on his chest, mixing with that soft air of jasmine coming from her body as soft snores crashed against his chin.

The scent of vanilla. Someone had once told him that men always responded to that, and because of that, every good hooker in the world wore vanilla-perfume. Not rarely had he wondered if that was true. If so, then it was a dangerous weapon women had at hand. As he gently ran his fingertips up and down Jude's arm he also liked to know if Jude knew about that legend, and if she tried to make it work for herself. Jude wasn't that deliberate, was she? Smiling to himself, he decided he'd rather not find out.

A few minutes later, Jude's drowsy eyes fluttered open. Wearing still only her bathrobe, which had – for better or worse – stayed securely around her frame all night, never offering more than a tiny glance at her shoulder, Jude snuggled up to Tommy, sighing contently. "Mornin'."

"Morning." Waking up with her still in his arms – a few months ago that had been pretty much exactly what he had wanted. Now he wasn't so sure. It would doubtlessly make things complicated again. Trying not to think about that just then, he continued to stroke her arm. "Sleep well?"

"Very," she murmured happily. Opening her eyes a little more, she shifted so she could look at him. "Have you slept at all?"

"A little. Had a lot on my mind."

"Me?" Her grin was a dangerous mix of innocence and guile.

Tommy phrased it vaguely. "Among many other things."

With more strength that he would have given her credit for, she pulled on his shoulders, rolled on her back, and pulled him on top of her. Startled as he was, he obliged at first. Eyes big and gullible as always, she gazed up at him with her mouth slightly parted. One hand was on his cheek, cupping it tenderly. He didn't need this moment to be reminded of how much he wanted her. One look at her alone did that for him. Of course, that didn't stop the feeling of longing from resurfacing in a rush.

Between his lips and hers was an inch at most, and he wouldn't even need to shift to kiss her. She noticed too, and leaned upwards ever so slowly. "Last night," Jude whispered, her breath drying his lips and his mouth, "was what I want. I'm not scared anymore." As she moved up the last millimeters, he turned away in what virtually was the last second.

"I'm not single anymore," he reminded her, and himself. To say whether he felt good about that or not was a question he couldn't answer. Anna, as bad as it sounded, gave him a perfect excuse to stay at distance from Jude, but it made him realize, too, that Anna was nothing but precisely that – a person to hide behind. Another problem he'd have to deal with.

Leaving the bed quickly, but not panicked, he looked at Jude as she pulled her robe close and sat up, staring at him with that lost face she had down so well. "It was one night." He wanted her to understand he was neither ready, nor able in this point of his life to take that step. "We're hardly friends, Jude. The last time we talked, and I mean really talked, I told you I never wanted to see you again and you had just told me you hated me. Last night…I shouldn't have stayed, and I'm to blame for this. I know. One good night does not erase the last months. I have to go. I already stayed too long."

"Tommy—"

"No, I have to go." He needed to leave. Grabbing his keys, he rushed out.