Title: In Admiration - Part 38

Fandom: Lost

Characters: Jack Shephard, Boone Carlyle

Prompt: #52 Angst

Author's Notes: Written for the LiveJournal community slash100 (underscore between "slash" and "100" – for some reason FFN deletes it)

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Everything seemed like it was spinning, and Jack was refusing to acknowledge that it might have been due to sheer exhaustion. Kate came back from the beach with a bag filled with broken bottles and the news that Claire was about halfway to the caves and in labor. Jack had told her that she would need to help Claire deliver the baby, told her what do to, and it had taken the last of his patience to reassure Kate when she said she couldn't do it, that he needed to go with her to help Claire. There was no way in hell he was going to leave Boone.

Sun had been in and out since bringing him the sea urchin, the spines perfect for what they needed to do. She'd bring in food or water or just urge him to sit down as he set up and then started transfusing his own blood to Boone, trying not to think about what happened when a body's immune system rejected the blood it was being given. Jack also tried not to think about that in a hospital, Boone would be receiving a pint of blood over the span of four hours, whereas now Jack hadn't the slightest idea how much blood he'd given, so he was using the highly scientific method of watching Boone's face for color. Even that got difficult to gauge, though, with all the blood drying on Boone's skin.

Jack had tried cleaning Boone up a little, but he couldn't pull on his arm too much so the makeshift needle wouldn't slide out, and the new stitches on Boone's chest couldn't get wet, so his best effort wasn't enough to wipe away what had happened. Boone's breathing was sounding better, but his broken leg wasn't looking too good, and the injuries that Jack had treated were still painful for him to look at. Jack didn't believe that Boone had just fallen off a cliff. He had known all this time that Locke was lying and that he shouldn't be trusting the other man, but he had never pushed Boone on the subject, and now Boone was lying in the caves, unconscious from all the pain he was in, and despite the promise he'd made, Jack had no idea if he'd be able to fix Boone. They were on an island someone in the Pacific Ocean with no chance at rescue, and he needed a hospital.

Turning to look through the medical supplies in the food cart from the plane, Jack hit it in frustration, knowing that no matter how many times he looked, what he needed wasn't going to magically appear. He just needed Boone to live. Jack had patients die on him before on the table during surgery, and that had been painful enough when he lost someone that he didn't really know, but this was Boone. Jack didn't think that losing Boone would be something he could handle.

Jack moved away from the cart, pacing next to Boone as far as the tube that connected them would allow. He stopped to check Boone's brachial and then carotid pulse; they seemed a little weak, but not as bad as he thought they might be. Jack then put his face over Boone's, feeling his breath against his cheek as he listened, glad that the raspiness went away so internal bleeding was one less thing he had to worry about. Satisfied for the moment that Boone seemed stable, Jack resumed his pacing at the side of the bed, clasping his free hand over the tubing just before in entered his arm to help keep it in place.

"Screwed myself up pretty bad, huh?"

The sudden noise in the stillness of the caves startled Jack, especially since he hadn't been expecting to hear anything coherent from the source of the voice. He stopped pacing, removing his hand from his arm and placing it on Boone's. Jack felt so relieved to feel Boone's fingers curling against his hand that he felt tears come to his eyes, but he managed to hold them back. Boone didn't need to know how bad his condition really was. "Hey," Jack said to at least say something, running his thumb along the back of Boone's hand.

"My leg hurts," Boone told him, but Jack didn't need to hear it to know it. His leg didn't look good at all and this was the first time since Locke brought him to Jack that Boone seemed to recognize his surroundings. His eyes were clouded with pain, but the fact that he was cognizant meant that at the moment it wasn't as bad as it had been.

"Just don't try to move it." Jack was having a hard time keeping his voice steady. He wanted to sound calm so Boone wouldn't panic. "Does your breathing feel okay?"

"It fell on me," Boone replied, his voice quiet.

"What fell?"

"The plane..." He seemed to be drifting into unconsciousness, and Jack had no idea what he was talking about. Their plane had crashed forty days ago, and if Boone was becoming delirious, Jack was worried that an infection might be setting in. He needed Boone to stay awake long enough to explain to him what had happened. "It was the plane."

"Locke said you fell from a cliff."

"The plane fell from a cliff. I was in the plane." Boone drew in a deep breath, his eyes slowly closing. "We found a hatch and then found the plane. The plane fell." His eyes opened again, looking right at Jack, and he could see that they were watering, but Jack couldn't tell if it was from the pain or because what had happened. It was most likely both. "I'm sorry, Jack. John said not to tell."

Jack was having a hard time putting all the pieces together, and yet it all made perfect sense. Jack didn't know what Boone meant about the hatch and finding a plane, but Locke had told Boone not to tell him. Locke who had told Jack that Boone fell off a cliff and then ran off into the jungle. "What did Locke do? Boone? What hatch?"

Boone gasped in pain, trying to reach down for his leg with the hand Jack was holding, but Jack kept him from moving. "My leg hurts."

Looking down at Boone's leg, the swelling that he had thought was just from setting the bone put itself in a whole new context. Boone said he was in a plane that fell off a cliff, and the swelling seemed to be getting worse since Jack had begun to give Boone blood. He could only think of three words: acute compartment syndrome. Jack started yelling for Sun, removing the needles from his arm and then Boone's, wrapping gauze around the younger man's before his own to help stop the bleeding. Boone wasn't conscious anymore, mumbling his sister's name over and over again.

"What is it, Jack?" Sun asked as she entered, her eyes wide with fear.

"I need to do a fasciotomy on Boone's leg," Jack said, more to himself than to Sun since she probably had no idea what a fasciotomy was. "I'm going to need something narrow to cut with. A razor should work, but I'll need to be able to remove the blade so I can use it like a scalpel. I'm going to need a lot more clean fabric and a large, metal container that can be used like a pot. Get Hurley and Michael to help you - hurry!"

She went off without a word as Jack started to pull out what he already had that would be useful. As a procedure, a fasciotomy wasn't that complicated, but it required leaving the incision open until the excess fluid drained out, which left it prone to infection. His only other option, though, was amputation, and that would be more difficult to do as well as keep clean afterwards. He knew that warm saltwater helped with infections, and Jack just hoped that draping the incision with clean clothes soaked in it will keep harmful bacteria at bay. If Boone was going to live, this needed to work.