A memory

A.N.: I'm going with the storyline that Mokuba's mother was killed in childbirth and that the father was killed sometime later on. Read on... )

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"Go to sleep." he said flatly.

"C'mon, Seto my birthday is in like two hours-" I replied indignantly.

"No but's" He gave me one of his infamous looks: eyes narrowed into slits, his face like pale granite displaying nothing but utter contempt. For most people this is all they can handle. They'll cower away at this point, tail between their legs because well, self-preservation is an incredibly powerful emotion. Never cross Seto Kaiba. It's a well known fact. But then again I'm not like everyone else, am I?

"I didn't say 'but'"

"Then no smart-assetry". Damn. I was sure I had him that time. Wait "smart-assetry" isn't a word; I move my mouth as if to call him out on his ill use of the English language.

"But-"

"March, Mokuba Na-"

"Fine." I huff out before he can use my full name against me. And this time I obey but this wasn't over I mentally note. I make my walk of shame up the lonely gilded staircase to the east wing where mine and Seto's rooms are, knowing full well Seto's room will remain unoccupied till around 3 am. maybe 2 on a good night. I reach my own room: a mess of clothes, game consoles, and other assorted entertainment systems. I peel the covers off my bed and slide in between them waiting for sleep to come, which unfortunately it never does.

I toss and turn for what feels like an eternity. I look at the clock and it blinks back 2 am. with red eyes. Damn clock. I can't go to sleep! Couldn't if I tried. It's officially two whole hours into my birthday! I smile. I am happy. I should be happy. It's natural; every kid is on his or her birthday. But I'm not. At least not entirely. I try to smile again. But it's a guilty one. I'm alive because she is dead. She is dead because I killed her.

I shouldn't dwell on the past. What's done is done. I know that.

But I don't even have a picture of her! I never knew her. I never will...

Now there really is no point in me staying in bed. I could use some fresh air and maybe walking a bit will ease my troubled mind and apparently my troubled stomach as well.

I make my way back down the lonely gilded staircase, past the living room, a hallway, and finally make it to the kitchen. It's only then do I see Seto nursing a broken coffee maker.

"Go to bed, birthday boy" he says, back to me, hunched over and tinkering with the coffee maker.

"I know. I just wanted some water" I lie automatically.

"Well it's a good thing you didn't want coffee then." he made a vague attempt at a joke, trademark sense of humor intact: droll sarcasm, plus caustic wit, a scary combo especially when you were never sure when he's being serious since he stays deadpan throughout.

He turned grumbling something about a round two and finally turned to me. "You really should be in bed, y'know."

"I know. " I repeated, noting that his voice had softened (must have been the fatigue).

Silence.

"You forgot your water."

"I know. " I repeated again more nervously. He looked at me more intently than usual.

"So how does it feel to be officially 13?"

"Feels basically the same as 12"

"Well everything is set up for the party "He said I guess he was trying his luck at small talk and I smile a little both from the effort and the fact that it was Seto's masterful idea to have my birthday party at Kaibaland. He even closed the whole park just for me and my friends.

"Cool. "

Silence again. I'm alive because she is dead. She is dead because I killed her. And just like that room gets pretty quiet.

"Hey kid?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you hungry?" I look at him weirdly. "You know what would be great right now?"

"What"

"Ice Cream"

"Are you kidding me, Seto its almost 3! And you hate ice cream!"

He ignored me entirely and maneuvered his way to the deep freeze refrigerators and grabbed a very large tub of Rocky Road ice cream, two bowls, and two spoons. He then meted a very generous portion of the creamy confection into one of the bowls and handed me the spoon.

"Your wonders never cease, Seto. Any reason why you're breaking three of your own rules in one night?"

"It's your birthday, kid. Stop complaining."

"Hmph."

Silence again. My stomach feels slightly upset. I try to smile again, but it's a guilty one. I'm alive because she is dead. She is dead because I killed her

"You know our mother used to eat tons of ice cream when she was pregnant with you. That and peanut butter"

"Really?" I reply almost too eagerly.

"All the time. I remember our father having to drive around town looking for an open supermarket to get our mother Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream at midnight."

The barest hint of a smile graces his lips. But then he sighs.

Silence. I would give anything for Seto to talk about our parents again, especially my mother. Please say something else! The silence is longer this time. I want to know more about my mother more than anything else in this world, every seemingly insignificant detail. But Seto rarely talks about her. And I understand why. Suddenly my ice cream isn't as sweet as it used to be.

Almost imperceptibly he moves a few steps closer to me.

"She was so happy when she found out she was pregnant with you. Did you know that? Did you know she would spend all day designing your nursery? I even got a little jealous. Mind you I was five."

At that we both slightly chuckle.

He moved a few steps even closer across the kitchen towards my corner." And our parents would get into the biggest fights on what to name you. I wanted to name you Ryuu, after dragon, while father wanted to name you Daisuke. But mother, she had her heart set on Mokuba. "

My vision is getting blurry, an excess moisture in the corners of my eyes.

"And then there was the day of your birth. You were a little premature, not too early to cause any significant complications but you were still quite the surprise. Her water broke right when our parents were dropping me off to Day-care. It was mom who insisted that I should go with you all to the hospital to see my baby brother being born."

My eyes begin to prick, hinting at the tears waiting to flow

"Wh-why are you telling me this?"

"Because I should have done it a long time ago."

I can't bear to look at him. It's too much. It's all too painful.

"You're mother loved you, more than anything in this world. She wanted to see you so badly. You need to understand that. "

He just stands there now only a foot away from me, that intense gaze, all-knowing boring into me, seeing right through me.

"Would sh-would she be proud of me?"

"I know she would be. She wanted you happy. And for you to grow up strong, her little baby boy."

And then we both smiled.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

He always knew exactly what to say, what to do, how to act. A few words from him and I'd feel all better. He could just make it all go away, the pain, the guilt, so easily.

Now I would give anything for him to make things better again. To fix everything like he used to.