Inside the Black Bag

Demyx pressed his ear to the door, while he attempted to pick the lock on Xemnas's door.

"No one's coming. No one's coming." Saïx assured him. He was keeping watch, making sure that no one was coming. "No one's coming. No one's coming."

"Saï! Please be quiet!" Demyx asked.

"Why?" Saïx asked. He thought he was doing a good job at keeping watch.

"I need to concentrate. I've never picked a lock before." Demyx said.

"Oh, ok. I'll keep watch silently then." Saïx said. Demyx nodded, and continued to pick the lock with a bobby pin that they had stolen from Larxene's room.

"No one's coming, no one's coming." Saïx whispered. Demyx rolled his eyes.

"Got it!" Demyx said. He smiled with victory. "Victory is MINE!"

"Shh!" Saïx hissed and pushed Demyx into the door.

"AHH!" Demyx screamed as the door opened in on him, and he fell to the floor. "Don't tickle me!"

"Shut up you idiot!" Saïx hissed, closed the door, and pressed his ear against it.

"What?"

"Axel was coming."

"HEY! Why don't you have Nicknames for Axel, Roxas, or Larxene?" Demyx asked. Everyone else had one. Demyx was Demmy. Xemnas was Xemmy. Luxord was Luxy. Marluxia was Mar. Lexaeus was Lexy. Vexen was Vexy. Zexion was Zexy. "or Xigbar and Xaldin?"

Saïx giggled. "I couldn't think of one! There names are weird."

"Ok, where is that drawer you were talking about?" Demyx said, changing the subject.

"Behind you." Saïx said pointing at the top drawer of a dresser.

"Excellent." he grinned and opened the drawer. His eyes grew wide, and his nose began to bleed. "DAMN IT!" Demyx yelled putting a near by tissue in his nose. Saïx laughed. "You knew this was in here didn't you!"

"Actually, when I was in here earlier I opened it, but I don't know what any of its for." Saïx explained.

"Saïx. Are you familiar with the term, Blackmail?" Demyx asked.

"That, I know." and again, they shared an evil laugh.

Xxx

Xemnas groaned and looked around. "DAMN YOU! What is up with you people and tying me up?" Xemnas laughed. "Its kind of kinky."

"You perv!" Larxene yelled, and slapped him.

Marluxia laughed. "Oh my god! It IS kinky!" he turned to Luxord.

"You stay the hell away from me!" Luxord yelled.

"Awww, Luxy! Your such a fun sucker!" Marluxia pouted.

There was a blast, and a mini mushroom cloud. "HOLY!" Vexen yelled and fell back.

"What happened?" Zexion asked, helping Vexen up off the floor.

"I think I mixed the wrong chemicals." Vexen said.

"Chemicals? I thought we were trying to get Saïx back to normal. Not blow him up!" Axel said. He sat on the table, (that was brought back in place), with Roxas. Vexen glared at him.

"He's got a point though, Vexen." Xigbar spoke up. He, Xaldin, and Lexaeus were playing 'Go fish' because they couldn't think of anything better to do.

"The chemicals are to figure out WHAT Xemnas used on Saïx." Zexion said.

"I'M RIGHT HERE!" Xemnas yelled.

"We are well aware of the fact." Larxene said

"Pay attention to ME! Your Superior! Pay attention to me! You leader!" Xemnas yelled.

"SCERW YOU!" Roxas yelled.

"Don't mind if I do!" Xemnas replied.

"Stay away from my Roxas!" Axel said.

"BOW TO ME MY MINIONS!" Xemnas, was insane.

The door flew open, just like it has been all day, and Saïx and Demyx walked in casually with an eerie grin on their faces. "Hello." Saïx said. Trying to hold back a giggle.

"Good afternoon." Demyx said.

"Ok, what's so interesting?" Xaldin asked.

They laughed. "We have some blackmail. For a certain person."

Axel, Xigbar, and Xemnas paled. "B-blackmail?" Xigbar stuttered. He looked around the room. "On who?"

"On, Xemmy!" Saïx said. Both Axel and Xigbar sighed in relief.

"YOU HAVE NOTHING!" Xemnas shouted.

"Shut up and let them talk!" Luxord yelled. "Continue Saïx."

"Thank you Luxy. Demmy, show then the dirty mind of Xemmy!" Demyx nodded.

He brought out a black bag from behind his back. "You see. Xemnas is a very horny man." Demyx grinned. Xemnas recognized the bag, and quickly hid his face the best he could.

"Ok. Now I'm interested!" Axel smiled.

"I thought so." Saïx said, and nodded to Demyx to continue. Demyx reached into the bag and pulled out a large tube.

"This is a tube of…" Demyx looked at the label. "Warming Lube," He turned red slightly. "And its half empty." the room gasped.

"YOU ARE A MAN WHORE!" Roxas yelled.

"Who's the poor pathetic fool, who got to be your partner?" Zexion asked.

"We can answer that." Saïx motioned to Demyx again. He looked into the bag and pulled out a photo. "This is the photo of Xemnas's little SOMEBODY friend." Demyx passed the picture around. It was a picture of Xemnas and a man with long silver hair.

"How do you know that this is the guy?" Lexaeus asked.

"Read the back." Demyx said. Lexaeus flipped the picture over. And read it aloud. "I wish you would die, for you have used me you selfish Bastard, DIE NOW, Sephiroth."

"HOLY! YOU HAD AN AFFAIR WITH SEPHIROTH?" Marluxia yelled.

Xemnas's blush deepened, as he nodded. "How long ago did that happen?" Xaldin asked.

"It actually ended, 3 weeks ago." Xemnas whispered.

"AND YOU WANTED SAIX! SO WHY WERE YOU FUCKING SEPHIROTH?" Larxene yelled.

"He was on top…" Xemnas mumbled.

"EWWWWWWWWWWW" Marluxia screamed. Luxord smacked him in the head.

"What did I say about having dirty thoughts?" Luxord asked. Marluxia nodded.

"Well, I was with Sephiroth to see if Saïx would get jealous. He never did." Xemnas explained.

"Anyway, Demmy!" Saïx said. Demyx reached into the bag again and pulled out a smaller, zip lock bag that was filled with little packets.

"This my fellow Organization members, it a bag filled with…." Demyx paused, trying to add dramatic affect. " CONDOMS!"

"NO!" Vexen gasped.

Zexion put his hand in front of Vexen's face. "Shield your eyes Vexen! Shield your virgin eyes!" Vexen mumbled something incoherent, and showed Zexion 'The bird'.

"OK! DEMYX, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!" Xemnas yelled.

Xxx

A/N- ok I had to end this chapter SOMEHOW. Ok, I am UBER confused. I got some review telling my to make this story UBER long, and….one, telling me to cut it short. WAT SHOULD I DO?

Well I do not wish to die yet. And I do have fun writing this. I guess, I can be persuaded to continue it…a lot IF I get 30 total reviews…that's not a lot…. Soooo yea, until next chapter! SEE YA!