Author's Notes: Hi! Thanks for the reviews! I'm sorry it took so long to continue with this, but I've been really busy. I have a full time job in the summer holidays…..i need the money! Anyway, here it is. I'm going to try to put some more fluffy Peyton/Lucas here because they rock together! But Peyton is going to get a visitor…..not this chapter though, so I'll leave it up to you who you think it's going to be. Put it in your reviews', and we'll see if you're on the same wavelength as me! People who guess right will win my liking! Just kidding…..
Disclaimer: The lyrics are from Anastacia's 'Heavy on my Heart'. Lyrics are in Italic. I wasn't sure if the lyrics fit with the story here, but they accurately show Peyton's feeling's, so that's why I used this song.
Chapter 4
I try to fly away but it's impossible
And every breath I take gives birth to deeper sighs
And for a moment I am weak
So it's hard for me to speak
Even though we're underneath the same blue sky
After finally breaking apart, Peyton and Lucas headed back inside to where all their friends and family were gathered. Peyton looked amidst the chatter and laughter, still shocked that all these people cared about her. She had never had this feeling before, that despite whatever she did, she would still have people there for her. She was happy, for the first time in her life, it seemed.
If I could paint a picture of this melody
It would be a violin without its strings
And the canvas in my mind
Sings the songs I left behind
Like pretty flowers and a sunset
She looked over to Nathan and Haley, laughing amongst themselves. She wanted that, she really did. Watching them giggling and whispering sweet nothings to each other was almost too much to bear. But then, she thought, I have Lucas? But did she? After the toe – curling kiss, she had thought so. But he was still with Brooke? And didn't she still have some feelings for Jake?
It's heavy on my heart
I can't make it alone
Heavy on my heart
I can't find my way home
Heavy on my heart
So come and free me
It's so heavy on my heart
But she didn't want to think about this now. All she wanted to think about was getting better…..because despite the happiness that suddenly overflowed her soul, she still felt like there was something missing. More like someone, she thought in trance. Dad. He was still off on the ocean, completely ignoring his only daughter. He hadn't even responded to her emails. That worried her. Despite any misgivings before, he had always answered her emails. She looked worriedly over to Lucas, hoping for sweet relief in his hazel eyes.
I've had my share of pleasure
And I've tasted pain
I never thought that I would touch an angel's wings
There's a journey in my eyes
It's getting hard for me to hide
Like the ocean at the sunrise.
Lucas had watched her expression as they walked slowly back into the room, standing still just inside of the doorway. She seemed almost afraid to go inside, as if the people inside might jump and bite her, or something. What is she thinking about? He thought. He couldn't get his mind off the kiss. What he had felt there, he had never felt with anyone before. Even Brooke. He had felt as if he was split into two sides: One side of him couldn't keep touching her, was on fire if she wasn't near. But the other side was just so content, completely relaxed in peaceful harmony that he just wanted to stand there forever, watching the way her golden curls bounced off her shoulders.
It's heavy on my heart
I can't make it alone
Heavy on my heart
I can't find my way home
Heavy on my heart
So come and free me
It's so heavy on my heart
He caught her eyes for a second, she seemed fragile. The rest of the party hadn't yet noticed their arrival, so he just continued to stare into her eyes, hoping for some sort of clue as to what was wrong. She looked frantic now, worried. He could see the lines of concern etched across her pale skin. He just wanted to reach out to her, to tell her that everything would be ok, that whatever demon was chasing her, he could fight it off for her. But he couldn't. He knew that she had to fight her own battles, relishing in the peace of overwhelming greatness.
Love, can you find me in the darkness, and love,
Don't let me down
There's a journey in my eyes
It's getting hard for my to hide
And I never thought I'd touch an angel's wings
He whispered word of comfort to her then, asking if she wanted to talk everything through after the party. She didn't want to. She wanted to bury her feelings inside a black coffin, sealing it tight. But she knew she couldn't. Otherwise they would spill over into her conscious, spoiling her life. So she reluctantly nodded her head, hoping he would take it slow. That done, she walked in to join the party. Grabbing a coke, she went to talk to Karen and Keith. Lucas never left her side.
Ok, next chapter is the talk! And then there might be a rating change too…..we'll see. Please press the shiny lavender button!