Chapter 4
There were whole seconds that had passed by.
He'd untangle himself from the sleeping bag. He'd had to grab his gun and crossbow. He had to pull the zipper down to open his tent up. It was only a few seconds, but he had to wonder, if the time it took him to make his way out, would be something that he would run over and over again in his head, later when this was all over.
It had happened so many times before. He had made decisions that he later regretted, no matter how small those decisions had seemed when he was making them, they had shaped his life and changed his path.
He dreaded to think that he would he be stuck wishing he could change something, knowing if he had done one single thing different that it would have made all the difference.
When his feet hit the dirt he could hear yelling echoing around him and he knew he should run in the direction of the horrified noises, he knew he should instantly work to help who ever needed help. But that wasn't what he did. He stopped and scanned the area, until he found her. When his sights fell on her that was the direction he moved towards.
She was by the three fires where they all had eaten dinner. She was shielding Sophia behind her, armed with nothing but a shovel that she was using to push back a Walker, but it continued to advance on her, no matter how many times she knocked it down or hit it.
He darted straight ahead to her, taking down the dead as they lunged at him. He could see more of them getting closer and closer to Carol and her daughter, but every time he tried to get closer, there would be another on one him, smacking its teeth in his face.
He could see Shane covering Rick, while Rick worked to get Lori, Carl and Amy into the RV.
That was where he needed to get Carol and Sophia. That was where Shane was trying to herd everyone.
He knew he was too far away to get there in time and it was so fuckin' dark he could barely make out what was alive and what was dead. But no matter how dark it was, he couldn't miss Ed's big form ahead of him, watching as another walker got even closer to Carol. And he didn't miss Ed running in the other direction to save himself.
Carol was so busy trying to knock down the Walker in front of her that she hadn't seen the others that were almost close enough to reach out to her.
He knew there was to much ground to cover and to many obstacles, he raised his arm and pulled the trigger. The bullet flew into the walker's head and it collapsed in front of them both and he continued on until he dropped the other two that were nearing them.
He noticed, in the seconds it took for the walkers to fall, Sophia's wide eyes and panicked expression.
He could see when one of the walkers he shot collapsed into her and knocked her slightly off balance. The corpse hadn't even settled on the ground when she took of running, vanishing down the path before Carol had a second to even notice she was gone.
There was this horrible ache in his chest, brought on by his breathes that were moving in and out, way to fast. His pulse was throbbing in his ears as he grabbed Carol around the waist. She fought against him as he stopped her from following the kid.
He didn't say anything. He just remembered grabbing her far too tightly and pushing her into Shane arms, who instantly locked her against his chest.
He could hear her screaming out while he sprinted down the dark trail. one that they used to get in and out of the camp. But the sounds Carol made were so pained that he couldn't decipher any of the words, except his and Sophia's names.
As he made his way down the path he could see Sophia in the distance, trying to get into the car, frantically pulling at the locked door of Ed's old Cherokee, just a group of walkers emerged from the treeline.
Again, his arm flew up and began shooting down the walkers until the the gun stopped firing. It clicked in his hand twice before he realized he was out of bullets.
He pulled his knife out just as he realized that Sophia was completely frozen by the truck, unable to take her eyes of the nearing walkers, no matter how much he pleaded with her to run.
He knew he would have to go through the Walkers to get to her, seeing as the kid was to scared to move.
As he ran towards them he could hear someone coming, someone running towards them, but he knew they were too far away to help them.
He launched himself at the first walker, tackling it into the ground before it could get any closer to the kid. He felt one fall on him as he pulled the knife from the first walker's skull, quickly turning over to take down the other that was trying its damnedest to bite into his neck.
He was covered in their blood and he could feel it running over his face as he watched more approaching. He realized right then that he was going to die, but that he didn't care.
He just had to keep them away from the kid until the others caught up. He knew that there would be no point in surviving if she died because he couldn't face Carol if Sophia didn't make it. He didn't think he could live with himself if he failed her in such a catastrophic way.
He ran at one and pushed the knife into its eyes and pushed the body back into one of the others, to give him more time.
He could hear Sophia panting behind him, but he couldn't bring himself to turn and look at her. She still had the car to her back and he was relying on it to block her while he stayed in front of her. He continued to tell her to run back to the camp, but she couldn't seem to remember how her feet worked.
This is it he thought, he was going to fuck everything up. He took down another walker, as another drew closer, with more emerging from the woods.
He thought about grabbing her and running but he knew that would leave him unable to fight his way through the small mob. There was no option but to keep going and just pray that eventually Sophia regained her senses enough to get the fuck out of dodge.
He could feel his throat burning in panic as two more came at him.
It was over, there were just to many for him to take on alone.
He couldn't protect her.
They were going to get past him eventually, all he could do was fight until he had no more fight left in him. He sunk him knife into the walker, then struggled to get it into the other, just as another drew closer to him.
The bang that erupted behind him was deafening and was enough to draw the attention of the walkers that were staggering forward from the tree line.
He turned to find Jim wearing a determined expression but he was drenched in blood and Daryl had a feeling that more of it belonged to Jim then the dead he had been fighting.
He expected to hear Sophia scream or react, but she didn't make a noise or move an inch, she just squeezed her eyes closed tighter and covered her ears with her hands, as she started mumbling something to herself.
He continued to take down as many as he could with the knife, Jim continued to shoot, and they both backed up towards Sophia.
When he noticed more arriving he heaved in a breath and ran forward to begin taking them out as they skulked out from the woods.
For the first time in the minutes since he had arrived down the path he was sure that they were going to make it out alive. He was confident that he and Jim had saved the girl and knowing that brought on so much relief that he was sure he was going to keel over at any minute.
There were more then a dozen bodies surrounding them and the sight was enough to make him want to close his eyes right along with the girl. He dropped himself into the final walker and plunged the knife through it's eye, falling to the ground right alone with it.
He sucked back as many breath as he could, trying to get the air back into his lungs as he wiped his arm across his face. He slowly drug the knife from the last one and gave into exhaustion, hunching forward on his knees.
He struggled to get his hands to stop shaking, when the quiet kid behind him finally made a noise.
Only then did it hit him that he hadn't heard the gun being fired and he wasn't sure when he last heard it. Now all he could hear was Sophia screaming.
When he turned he could see Jim hanging on to her leg as she struggled on the ground, trying to kick him off, squealing out a sound that made his blood run cold.
He pounced from his spot and jumped onto him and started stabbing Jim's skull uncontrollably.
He didn't know what had come over him. He knew Jim was dead, but a part of him just couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that just when he thought it was over that something else had crept up and tried to take it all away. That he was stupid enough to relax during the end of the world and think he was safe.
Maybe it was from the shock and the adrenaline mixing together, maybe it had turned to poison in his veins and was making him go crazy. Maybe that was why he couldn't seem to stop himself as he continued to plunge the knife into Jim long after there was no hope that anyone would be able to recognize his face again.
When the knife finally jammed into Jim's skull and he couldn't pull it out, he grabbed Jim's gun without a second thought and he shot what was left of him.
The sound of the gun caused his body to repel back and he scrambled his feet, still sure that Jim was going to come at them.
He felt the kid run at him, wrap her arms around him. He kept the gun firmly in his hand while he yanked her off the ground, sure that something else was going to grab at her again.
She clung to him like a monkey. Her arms were around his neck and her legs wrapped around his waist. He could feel her fingernails cutting into the skin on his neck and the heels of her sneakers digging into his back, but he didn't think about plying her off him or moving away from the bodies. He couldn't do anything but stare at Jim's body, that lay mutilated at his feet.
Jim's face was unrecognizable, but he was sure he could still hear him moaning. Like he was going to jump up at any minute and attack again. He still felt liike he needed to stop Jim, but he didn't know how many more times he could smash the poor bastards head in.
He couldn't stop the ringing in his ears or focus on anything except Jim.
That second before Jim turned, he thought he was safe, he thought he had it under control.
But he almost done it all, just to watch the kid die right before his eyes.
The air rushing in and out of his lungs refused to slow and he finally realized the wheezing sound was coming from him.
He could still feel the way Jim's head caved in beneath the blade as he forced it in, over and over.
It was like he could tell the blood apart.
Like the blood from Jim and the blood from the walkers was made from a different substance.
Like the blood that had sprayed up from Jim was burning his skin.
He'd talked to Jim dozens of times, even if it was only to talk about shit like the whether or what he had caught while hunting. He'd eaten meals with Jim, he'd fixed Jim's car when it wouldn't run,-…he'd pounded Jim's head in with a knife and shot him for good measure.
She'd ran towards the small gathering and she had found nervous faces. Faces that were guarded and concerned. She had begged them, before she had even gotten close enough to see anything, to tell her that Daryl and Sophia were ok.
Shane and Rick had assured her they were fine as she finally reached them and she could have collapsed when she realized that Daryl was standing in the middle of the group holding Sophia firmly to his chest.
She had made no move to try to pull Sophia from Daryl's arms, she just got close to them and wrapped her arms around them both, before she started trying to sooth her frightened daughter.
Daryl stood frozen with his eyes fixed ahead, as though he hadn't even noticed her arrival but she didn't have the sense right now to wonder why, she couldn't think about anything but the fact that they were both ok.
Her hands kept moving over Sophia, looking in every spot she could. She could feel the terror radiating of her daughter as she ran her fingers over her skin.
She was lost in a trance while she checked for bites or injury, but from what she could see her daughter had escaped unharmed.
The strong wave of relief continued to wash over her and she couldn't understand why everyone was so quiet and stilled around her. Rick cautioned her to be careful but she didn't understand what she supposed to be careful of, until she noticed why they were all keeping their distance.
Daryl's arm was extended forward holding a gun at a mangled body that lay at his feet. His eyes were still focused on it. He was visibly stunned as he heaved in rough breaths that sounded painful to take and even more painful to release.
"It's ok Daryl, it's over" Shane promised, keeping his voice as calm as possible while he approached Daryl slowly, with his hands open in front of him.
No matter what Shane or Rick said, Daryl and Sophia refused to move, both frozen in a moment that had happened before any of them had arrived.
She stood at Daryl's side, her hands lightly running over Sophia's back trying to soothe her as Rick and Shane continued to talk to Daryl. She wasn't sure if they were concerned for Daryl's well being, for Sophia's, or their own in that moment. Maybe it was a combination of the three.
"You don't have to let it go, just bring your arm down" Rick requested, placing his hand on Daryl's wrist, slowly pushing it to his side.
Finally Daryl nodded and slightly stepped back. There was a sign of recognition in his eyes and she thought that with a bit more time he would be just fine. He just needed a second to wrap his mind around what had just happened.
He'd saved her daughter. He could take all the time he needed as far as she was concerned. She was in no hurry and she was happy to stand here for as long as he and Sophia needed.
Slowly she could hear other members of the group arriving but she couldn't take her eyes off Daryl and Sophia to see who it was. The feet hitting the ground had grown louder and louder before they finally came to a halt.
"Is that?" Glenn asked looking at the body in front of them, but stopped himself as he took in the horrific sight.
"it's Jim" Shane answered unable to take his eyes off the bloody corpse himself.
Her eyes drifted from Sophia to look at Glenn as he spoke. The mention of Jim's name had sped Daryl's breathing up again and she wanted to request that everyone be quiet, even if it was just for a few more minutes. She was ready to speak when she noticed Ed glaring at her, that was when she realized that only one of her hands was placed lightly on Sophia's back, the other was around Daryl and she was soothing circles between his shoulders, just as she was with Sophia.
She didn't have a second to think about stepping back, or trying to reason with Ed. She had seen that look before and she knew there was nothing she could do to calm him down before he reacted. She expected him to grab her, to pull her away from Daryl but Ed didn't go for her.
She flinched as his hands reached out and grabbed hold of Sophia's arm, in attempt to ply them from around Daryl's neck. Without warning Sophia let a terrified scream into the night, making a sound that even Carol had never heard her make before.
Within seconds the calm was gone and buried among the sounds of raised voices. Sophia cried out as Rick's and Shane's attempted to pull Ed away from his daughter.
But it all stopped instantly as Daryl's arm raised back up pointing the gun straight into Ed's face, bringing back the silence that had filled the air seconds ago.
She watched as Ed's hand sprung of Sophia's arm and he stumbled back, glaring at Daryl as he did. Everyone encouraged Daryl to lower the gun again and for a moment she wasn't sure if he was going to, or if she even wanted him to. She looked between them, seeing how their eyes were locked on each others. She had never seen that look on Daryl's face before, his eyes narrow and jaw was locked. She could see the deliberation taking place in Daryl expression, she knew he wasn't crazed or out of control, he knew what he wanted to do and she could see the very moment he decided against it.
He didn't wait for anyone or listen to anything they had to say. He shook his head and took a step back, assuring Ed wasn't going to follow him, before he quickly turned and walked back to the camp. The group quickly surrounded Ed trying to persuade him to calm down as he boiled with anger, wanting to chase down the 'hick' who had stormed off with his daughter.
Her eyes locked with Ed's just for a second. She knew what her job was. It was to stay with Ed, to keep Ed calm, in order to keep Sophia safe. When Ed got angry, when Ed didn't get his way, that was when he was at his most dangerous and though she knew she would regret it later, she turned and followed Daryl back towards the light of the campfires, that still glowed in the distance.
Shane kept an eye on Ed, giving him errands to keep him busy and to keep him as far away from Daryl as he could. Shane insisted that Ed go and get water for everyone, seeing as Ed refused to help with much else. Ed being Ed, he argued and complained until he finally drove off with some of the others to complete the simple but necessary task.
She watched them leave in Daryl's truck and quickly took her chance to start packing up the rest of Daryl's things. She quickly realized that most of Daryl's things were already packed into his bag, what was left appeared to be Merle's belongings, that she took care putting away into Merle's bag.
She didn't think Merle would be back, she didn't think Daryl was waiting on Merle's return, but she was sure that what was left of Merle's presence would be important to Daryl.
As she started folding the tent, Shane came over and began helping her, without asking if she needed it. He took over and started rolling the tent up tightly and tying it off with rope, rather then trying to fit it into the small tent bag. She was slightly relieved she didn't have to try to wrestle the thing into the small bag, it would take to much time and she knew her husband would be back soon and most likely be even more upset when he arrived back and found that nothing had changed.
"You got a plan?" Shane asked looking over at Daryl who sat in the dirt leaning into the side of the RV, with her Sophia, who was still refusing to unwrap her arms from around his neck.
"Ed's likely to blow soon Carol, just looking at him over there with Sophia." Shane added as he piled Daryl's belongings up, ready to be thrown into his truck.
"She's in shock, they both are. He saved her and-…she just wants to feel safe" Carol answered quietly watching Daryl staring straight ahead into nothing, still holding the gun firmly in his hand.
Shane nodded "That's understandable but..."
"I'll figure it out" she said quickly before Shane could continue asking her questions about things that she herself didn't have answers to.
She walked over to Daryl and Sophia quietly, rubbing her arm while looking around to see who was watching her. She couldn't help but feel like she was bringing on more trouble, when the group already had enough.
She could only think of one way to avoid more chaos.
"We'll be ready to leave soon" she said softly as she knelt in the dirt next to Daryl and Sophia.
She reached out and rubbed soothing circles on Sophia's back realizing she was asleep, but her death grip on Daryl had not loosened. He looked so tired and pale, and she felt horrible for him, the sight of him sitting in the dirt, covered in blood and sweat was enough to push her forward. She desperately wanted to make things easier for him, because he didn't deserve to have any more of her problems pushed on him.
"You can put her in the car if you want, if we do it before Ed gets back then maybe..."
"He hurt her" Daryl said through a dry throat, so quietly that she wasn't sure she heard him properly.
His head rolled against the RV to face her, revealing his red eyes before he glanced down towards her daughters arm, that was resting on his shoulder.
She felt her brow crease as she reached out lifted Sophia's sleeve and saw the bruise left from where Ed had grabbed her, trying to pull her away from Daryl.
The sickening feeling that hit her stomach made her want to cry and scream, but she couldn't even find her voice to form words. She choked out a noise as her mind raced, swimming with thoughts she couldn't sought through.
Now she could understand the silent rage that was growing behind Daryl's eyes.
"What you gonna do Carol?" he whispered coldly, as if he could see her mind ticking as she nodded to herself, wiping the stray tears that had fallen down her cheeks.
There was no question, she knew now what she had to do.
There was no time to think or come up with a strategic plan. She had to keep her safe. Sophia had survived the attack because of Daryl, the only injury she sustained was from her own father.
It couldn't be this way.
She wasn't safe with him, neither of them where.
"Will you wait in the RV with her?" Carol asked watching as his brow narrowed at the request.
"What about you?" Daryl said glancing over as Ed, Rick and T-dog arrived back to the camp, in his Truck.
"Shane and Rick are here. I'll be fine. It's best if you're both are out of sight"
He hesitated for a long moment before he finally nodded, though she could tell he still didn't agree.
She stepped back as he got up and made his way into the RV, watching Ed watch him. He quietly pulled the RV door closed behind him as Ed slammed the door to the truck.
Her breaths were rapid as Ed quickly made his way over to her, followed closely by Rick and Shane, who approached with their eyes wide and alert, knowing what was happening.
Daryl's jaw clenched as Ed repeatedly referred to him as trash, even more when Ed asked Carol if she to damn stupid to realize that Daryl wanted nothing more than to get laid.
He watched them through the window, squeezing the gun in his hand, as he had been since he killed Jim.
He could see now why she didn't want him out there. His presence would just make it worse. This wasn't about him; it wasn't about him and Carol. This was about her and Ed, letting Ed think otherwise would be a mistake. Still he was ready to run out and end it all if he needed to. He was ready to do just that last night, but there was something stopping him and it wasn't that Carol had told him that she didn't want him to kill Ed. It wasn't the way she and everyone else was looking at him or pleading with him to stop. It was the kid in his arms that made him think twice.
He could feel her shifting in his arms, as the yelling started to disturb her sleep. But not enough to wake her. His mind considered the reasons why she seemed to have no problem sleeping through Ed's loud voice, when a deafening silence took over the whole camp.
He watched Ed lean in close to Carol and say something with a low voice he couldn't hear.
That's when Shane suddenly yelled out.
"Enough. Get in the car Ed. Now". Shane roared as his hand flattened out over Ed's chest and shoved him back .
He was silently willing Carol to move, she was to far away and it was making him nervous that Ed was still scowling at her.
She had done it, she had said what she wanted and told them all she was done, now she just needed to move. But still she stood still, her face pale and shocked by whatever Ed had just said to her.
He sighed heavily when Lori took Carol's arms, softly shifting her from Ed's direction and began walking her back to the RV.
He stood back and slightly tightened his arms around Sophia as they walked in. He stayed still and silent as Lori sat her down and began consoling her, telling her that they would all keep her safe. He could see in Carol's eyes that she was distant. Lost in her thoughts as Lori spoke.
He wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her everything would be ok, even if he wasn't sure it was true. But he still didn't feel like he had the right to just walk up to her in front of people. Even though the whole camp had heard Ed's accusations and were probably wondering if something was going on.
Rick came in and walked past him to kneel in front of Carol.
"This is the right thing to do. It might be hard but we will get through this. All of us. Together".
Daryl had never heard Rick sound more like a police officer than he did right then. He wondered where this confidence came from, why no one had told Carol these things earlier. She was never told that they would all stand behind her if she wanted to leave Ed. It sounded like Rick was reading from a script that he had recently rediscovered. It sounded like a line he had told a hundred other women in her position, and the way Carol didn't find any comfort in his words made Daryl think she had probably heard the words and tone before. But the good intentions had never done her any good.
"We need to get on the road" Rick finally declared as he stood up and stepped back. Lori nodded pulling Carol close to her side once more before standing to follow Rick.
He kept his head down as Rick and Lori made their way out of the RV and he didn't say anything to Glenn who came running through the door far to fast after Rick and Lori left.
"T-dog's taking your truck. We loaded your stuff up" Glenn said, offering a smile as he made his way to the front of the RV to sit with Dale.
He looked at her sitting there alone and ignored his instincts to stay back. There was something he knew would make her feel better and he hopped it was enough to remove the crease from her brow.
He put the gun down on the table, before sat down beside her and slowly started to ply the kid's arm's from around his neck.
He picked the kid up and put her tiny form into Carols lap and watched the familiar soft expression sweep over her features as she curled her arm around Sophia. There was a hint of a smile on her lips that didn't match the tears drying on her cheeks, but it was a start.
She didn't look at him, instead she kept her eyes on the kid, her sights slowly tracing over the girl thoughtfully.
There were a million things he wanted to say to her but he didn't voice one of them. Instead he moved a bit closer to her. Close enough that her thigh was touching his. Enough to let her know that he was there and he was with her. He figured she understood his intentions, because she moved a tiny bit closer to him.
He watched them both as Dale drove the RV away from the camp. Focusing on Carols hands, how she held the kid gently with one hand and ran her fingers through Sophia's knotted hair with the other, slowly untangling the strands. He was sure it must have been soothing the kid, because just watching the action was enough to put him at ease. They were safe. Both of them. And every fiber of him was aware of that fact as he watched Carols long fingers move through Sophia's hair. It was enough to allow him to give into the exhaustion and finally fall asleep.