Chapter 6
In the early hours of the morning Glenn and Shane took over watch, relieving him and T-dog so they could get a few hours' sleep before the sun showed its self.
Shane offered his tent up to him during the changeover but he declined the offer before Shane had even finished talking.
A week ago, he would have jumped at the offer, but now he knew how quickly everything could go wrong. He also knew he had no chance of sleeping if he wasn't working as a barrier.
Outside of Carol's tent he could lay down knowing they were sleeping soundly. He knew that if anyone or thing came close to them while they were asleep he would be wake up and be able to stop them. Just knowing that was enough to help him drift off in front of the warm fire.
It felt like he had only closed his eyes for a second when a high-pitched squeal woke him.
Instantly his heart started pounding, his body jerked up and his eyes scanned the area around him, so he could figure out where he needed to run to.
He instantly calmed down when he noticed the sound didn't disturb anyone else around him. He squinted through the bright morning sun to the direction of the noise that was now being repeated.
He had never heard Sophia make that sound before and he had never seen her face look quite so animated.
Carl laughed loudly as he held out the stick-insect for her to inspect, enjoying the reaction he was receiving from her.
Her finger nervously stretched out to touch its leg before she jumped back and let the squeals erupt again, followed by a loud giggle that looked like it was going to throw her off her feet.
He couldn't help but smile at the scene as he began putting his boots on.
He noticed Carol walking toward him while still looking over her shoulder at Carl and Sophia. He found himself unsure about watching her approach, so he dropped his head and kept his eyes on his laces, that he tying slower then was necessary.
She sat down beside him, her whole body obviously tensing as she did. He didn't have to wonder what had her so uncomfortable. He hadn't looked around for Ed but he knew the prick would be watching everything she did, just as he always had.
But for some reason, it didn't seem to stop Carol from sitting next to him.
"Coffee"
He turned his head and found that she was holding the mug out for him and he was pretty sure she had been holding out to him since she sat down, but he had been to nervous to look at her. He thanked her as he took the cup and followed her gaze to Sophia, who let out yet another squeak of excitement.
"She's never seen one before" she explained with a grin, as the sound of Sophia and Carl's giggles filled the camp again.
"Ya don't say" he chuckled, with a good dose of sarcasm, making a small laugh escape carol's mouth as she turned to look at him.
"How'd you sleep?" she asked, with small traces of a smile still left on her lips. It something that he had trouble taking his eyes off and for some reason it had him clearing his throat for no good reason.
"Just fine" he said quickly, wanting to assure her that he was still happy with his decision.
"How about you? Good?" he asked before she had chance to say anything else about his sleeping arrangements.
She didn't answer, but her smile grew slightly as she dropped her gaze down to her hands. It looked like she was remembering something and he desperately wanted to ask her what it was. Just so he could find a way to replicate the warm expression and make it appear more often, but didn't feel like he had the right to ask.
"We need to talk"
As the words left her mouth the pleasant expression disappeared from her face and she lifted her head to meet his gaze.
"bout what?" he asked curiously, taking another sip of the hot black coffee. He watched as she suddenly looked around them and he followed her, to see everyone, including Ed looking at them out of the corner of their eyes.
"Later. We can talk later" She stammered as she stood up without another word and made her way back over to Lori and Andrea, to finish washing the pile of dirty laundry.
He noticed that Carol seemed to do fine with ignoring the stares and he guessed she was most likely used to people gawking at her. Ed hadn't exactly kept their private life all that private and that had led to people watching her much more then the average group member.
He on the other hand was used to being completely ignored by them. At the Quarry, Carol was the only person who'd took the time to ask if he was ok, or get his opinion on anything.
After his outburst over Merle's disappearance, everything only got worse. People went from ignoring him, to actually going out of their to avoid him.
But since his arrival here, everyone watched him as though he had an arm growing out of his forehead.
What had him even more dumbfounded were the smiles he was receiving from Shane, Andrea and Jacqui. Every time he caught their eyes they grinned at him as though they were all old friends.
He walked around the outskirts of the camp picking up sticks when he saw Sophia heading towards him. She didn't talk to him when she reached him and she didn't question him when he looked over at Carol, wondering if she knew the kid had left her side.
When he caught Carol's eye, her lip curved lightly before she went back to what she was doing and so did he.
The kid quietly followed him like a shadow, collecting her own small bundle of branches, only stopping when he did and only moving when he did.
When he thought he had enough, he turned to see her staring up at him.
"You need help carrying those?" he offered nodding to the sticks in her arms. She shook her head and stayed still until he started to walk back to their tent.
He could hear her walking behind him, watching to see what he was going to do next, while he was still trying figure out why she was following him around to begin with.
When he got back to the tent he knelled and dropped the sticks on the ground next to the burnt-out fire, slightly turning his body to take Sophia's pile from her. He started to lift the sticks from her tiny arms when Ed suddenly yelled out Sophia's name across the campsite.
Ed was looking straight past him to the kid, making them both freeze in place. He looked up to see Sophia looking at him, like he was somehow in charge, like he was the one who could stop whatever was about to happen.
His eyes darted from Sophia over to see Carol, watching her move quickly in their direction with her hand out calling to daughter.
As he stood up he lightly pressed Sophia's arm, pushing her towards her mother, as he followed behind her.
Sophia walked quickly and cautiously over to Carol, her eyes darting between her worried mother and Ed, as he marched across the camp to them.
His stomach twisted. He realized there was something he hadn't considered and that was the kid.
He could keep Ed away from Carol, he was in his right to do that, she broke it off with him and Ed had to deal with that. But for better or worse, Ed was Sophia's father and Daryl didn't know what he was supposed to do with that.
He knew Carol wanted him to stay out of it, she had told him time and time again. And judging by the way she was looking at him, she hadn't changed her mind on the matter. So, he decided that he would stay calm, but he wouldn't stay out of it. But he couldn't bring himself to just walk away.
A surge of adrenaline suddenly rushed through him. Making him breathe so heavily that each gulp of air harshly hit the pit of his stomach, as his body began preparing itself for a fight. Even though he promised himself it would not take place, apparently his mind refused to believe him.
It only got worse when he felt a tug at the fabric of his shirt. He glanced down as he took the last few steps to Carol side and seen Sophia's hand gripping a handful of fabric. She used it to drag him in front of her. He followed the direction she moved him in, trying to shield her as much as he could. He knew Ed wouldn't like it, but he couldn't ignore the panic radiating from the kid.
As Ed approached, a wave of nostalgia swept over him, but he couldn't figure out why. The image of her tiny fingers twisted into his plaid shirt was running on repeat in his mind, as though he had seen the sight a thousand times before.
"What? I can't talk to my daughter?"
Ed's loud and enraged voice echoed through the campsite and it made Sophia jump at his side, while Carol barely flinched at the sound, but he noticed her whole body stiffen.
Shane and Rick began making their way over when they heard the commotion, as they always did when Ed was fixing to blow up.
He had to trust them to handle it, he repeated that to himself again and again, hoping it would stop his fists from clenching and his heart from pounding in his chest.
"Why?- What for? What do you need to talk to her about?" Carol stuttered with a shrug of uncertainty.
Daryl watched as Ed's eyes narrowed in on Carols.
He pushed himself to stay still as Ed's hand raised to point his finger at her face, making it damn near unbearable.
Every instinct he had was telling him knock Ed into the ground, but he ignored them, waiting for some sign that she wanted him to put a stop to this bullshit.
"You wanna run around like some whore with this Hick, you ain't taking my daughter with ya"
Daryl didn't have a chance to react to him calling Carol a whore, he didn't have time to consider anything, except the fact that Ed was now lunging between them both to grab Sophia. In that same moment Rick and Shane finally arrived to pull Ed back, but it was too late.
In amongst the brief squabble Daryl had reached down and yanked Sophia's tiny body of the ground, just as he had done before.
He barely had a moment to register what he had just done or that Ed was furious by act. Luckily Shane and Rick both had a good hold on him, while he continued to attempt to step forward.
"Ed calm down" Rick repeated, again and again.
Ed roared at Rick and Shane for sticking their noses in where they didn't belong, while Daryl was still trying to figure out what he was meant to do. He couldn't bring himself to put the kid down. But holding her like this wasn't safe if Ed completely lost it and managed to break free from Shane and Rick.
He had to get them out of here. They didn't need to be here for this.
He reached out to Carol with his free hand and curled his fingers into hers. She watched as his rough skin merged into the smoothness of hers, softly and calmly in amongst the chaos.
"C'mon"
He took a small step back as he tugged at her hand, hoping she would follow.
"Ya ain't gotta deal with this" he assured her.
He watched as Carol looked at Ed once more before she stepped back with him, following his lead.
"That is my family, not his" Ed growled through his teeth.
Daryl paused looking at Shane, who was still working to hold Ed in place.
He knew how this looked, holding someone else's wife's hand, someone else's kid wrapped around his hip. But even with all of that, Shane just nodded at him, assuring Daryl he was doing the right thing,
"Go" Shane said, ignoring Ed protesting about the injustice of not being able to treat his family like shit anymore.
"We're going to talk about this," Ed called out.
He didn't know who Ed was talking to. He didn't know if he was talking to him, Carol, Shane or Rick and he didn't look back so that he could clarify. He didn't need to turn back to know that Ed was pissed and know that this was going to get worse, long before it got better.
He approached his truck, letting go of Carol's hand to open the passenger door for her. She didn't ask where they were going, she just got in. He carefully pulled Sophia from his hip and put the kid on her lap before closing the door, wondering just how mad she was at him for butting in, when he shouldn't have been there to begin with.
He didn't know what to say, so he stayed quiet while he started the truck and drove off.
He wondered if she had seen the empty jugs in the tray of the truck, maybe she overheard him tell Rick that he would get some more water when he had a chance. Either way, she didn't say anything. Even Sophia kept her focus to window, watching the trees and bushes go by as he drove down the trail, to the nearby stream.
He was happy they were so quiet, his mind fixated on the same thing, still wondering why the kids hand yanking on his shirt had him so confused.
Within seconds of stopping the truck he jumped out, without looking at either of them, even when he heard them both follow closely behind.
A mixture of self-loathing and self-doubt began to rise. He found himself replaying what had just happened in his head, wondering if he was messing everything up, wondering if he even had what it took to do anything but mess this up. But most of all he was wondering if she was thinking the same thing.
He began grabbing the empty water bottles from the tray of his truck when he realized she was standing next to him.
"Not too far" Carol called out, making him look over to see Sophia nodding as sat on the ground by the stream.
He watched Carol's hands reach out in front of him, helping him collect the empty bottles but even as they made their way over to the water he still couldn't look at her, worried that if he did he would see doubt in her eyes. The same doubt he had about himself.
He held the empty bottle in the stream thinking over the hundred other options he had today, rather than the ones he chose. He was lost in that thought when her voice broke through the silence.
"Sorry for making you do that." She said quietly, making him freeze in place.
"You move faster than me" she added as his head rose to look at her, his brow knitted in confusion.
His head shook slightly as his mouth fell open, releasing a few stammered sounds.
"I need to be smarter-I know that" she admitted.
Daryl examined her face, while he processed the confession. He could see the doubt he feared so much, but it wasn't directed towards him.
"I wasn't thinking that" he pressed softly, shaking his head, hoping his tone would assure her he as telling the truth.
The whole time he had been avoiding looking at her, he never thought for a second she was doing the same thing. That she was mad at herself and not at him.
"You're better at this than I am" she said ignoring what he had just said.
"at what?" he questioned her, feeling his brow scrunch even more, trying to understand what she was talking about.
"Protecting her" she said, meeting his gaze for a moment. Her mouth was curved into a soft smile that she was using to cover the torment she was feeling, but it wasn't working. He shook his head, rolling his shoulders in discomfort.
"You're a good mother Carol. Ya are" he said quickly, knowing it to be true. But again, she seemed to be ignoring him, as if anything he said was just an attempt to make her feel better.
He was stunned.
The expression on her face and the things she was saying, left him wondering what he was meant to do. And honestly, he wanted to stop this conversation, because it was too hard and he could feel it dragging him from his comfort zone. But with that thought, came the realization that he was the one who needed to be smarter, not her. He needed to do better, even if it was hard for him.
He reached out and lightly wrapped his hand around her arm, making her stop and look at him.
"You could've stayed with him. But ya didn't. Your keepin' her safe" he said firmly, letting his thumb graze gently over her arm as he spoke.
"Carol, I just wanna help ya - both of ya. Just tell me how-. Just let me"
The words spilled out of his mouth without a second thought and even he was surprised that he could offer up what he was thinking so easily.
She looked from his eyes to Sophia, watching as her daughter picked up small stones from the dirt and tossed them into the water. He couldn't decipher what she was thinking as she starred at her daughter, but the crease in her brow let him know that something was wrong.
She let out a hard breath and nodded to herself, before finally meeting his gaze again.
"I need to tell you something".
Everything had quietened down at the camp by the afternoon. Everyone was going about their business as they usually did. He was going to walk around the camp area and see if he was able to spot some fuzzy little creatures to add to dinner, when Carol came and reminded him that there was something she had wanted to talk about.
It had only been hours ago when he had woken up to the sounds of Sophia's excited squeal, when Carol had told him she wanted to talk to him. But it might as well have been days ago. To much had happened between. It had been the furthest thing from his mind, until she brought it up again.
"You can leave us for a few hours" Carol assured him, but he didn't respond.
He leaned into the side of his truck with his arms folded, listening to Carol and forcing himself not to interrupt, no matter how much he disagreed with what she had been saying.
"Especially if your not going to take your tent back."
He nodded firmly at that, because she seemed to be eyeing him to see if he had changed his mind.
Apparently Lori had offered to cram Sophia and Carol in with the Grimes clan. Lori had made the offer after Ed had taken Carol's tent, when Lori assumed Carol and Sophia needed somewhere to sleep. But now they did have somewhere to sleep, they had the tent he had given them. He had no intention to move them out of it.
He didn't say anything, but he didn't like the idea of her staying with Rick. When it came down to it, he knew Rick would always protect his own family first and he didn't want Carol and Sophia to be anyone's second priority. He didn't want to be fighting through a crowd to get to them either. He didn't want a repeat of what had happened at the quarry.
She sighed heavily and he could have laughed at her frustrated expression. Maybe if they'd had this conversation earlier he would have been amused, but he didn't feel like there was a single thing on earth to laugh about right now.
"At least sleep in Shane's tent when he takes over for you."
She continued on and he let her. She deserved to say her piece and she deserved his silence so she could do that. But it was hard to give her his full attention when he had quietly put his foot down on the matter.
In the end Carol could do what she wanted. If she wanted to stay with Rick and Lori then he wouldn't stand in her way, but he wasn't changing his opinion.
This morning, when she had told him they needed to talk, he knew what she wanted to discuss. He knew she didn't want him sleeping on the ground, he knew she felt bad for putting him out, as she put it. And again, maybe if they had have had this conversation earlier, it would have gone differently. He knew at the very least he would have been a more active participant in it. But he just couldn't bring himself to talk when he only had one thing spiraling through his head.
He had spent more time then he liked to admit, comparing people. He compared himself to Merle, compared himself to Ed, compared Ed to his father and his father to himself. The idea of the internal task was to look for similarities. To see if they reacted the same in similar situations, to recognize weaknesses, strengths and the evil traits. Sifting through things that had plagued his life, so that he didn't make anyone feel the way he had in the past. But as he stood there listening to Carol and keeping a closer eye then usual on Sophia, he realized that he didn't have anyone to compare Ed to anymore. Not after what Carol had told him.
He had always wondered about the way Ed looked at Sophia, but never enough to over think it and he never once considered this.
But now that he had been told, it was all he could think about.
Finally, after what felt like hours, she was finished talking. Now she was looking at him as though she had pleaded a very good case. She had laid out valid reason as to why he should leave her and her daughter alone in the middle of the night, with no real protection.
He nodded, trying to give her some indication that he had listened.
He pushed himself of the truck and took a step closer to her as he shrugged.
"There ain't no way in hell."
Carol had offered to bring their dinner back once she had finished serving everyone. While he hung back and got their fire going. He was pretty sure she had pressed the offer in order to keep him away from Ed as much as possible.
He watched Carol as she prepared their plates, but put them aside when Sophia made her way over.
Carol quickly knelled down in front of Sophia, enough so that their eyes were lined up. He watched as her long fingers ran through the kid's hair, gently untangling the knots while she spoke to her.
He didn't wonder what they were talking about, he had a rough idea though. What he wondered about now, is what Ed was thinking as he watched them.
He had to convince himself how crazy he would look if he just walked over and tackled Ed to the ground, with seemingly no reason or warning. But damn he wanted to. He just wanted him gone, not just away from the girls, he wanted him away from all of them, every single person in the camp.
But it would go against everything Carol had asked him to do. She had a plan and she had an idea of how she wanted things to go. He had to be happy that she was letting him be involved and accepting his help.
He stood to his feet as the girls approached, taking his plate from Carol with a quiet thank you. It never went unnoticed by him, that she didn't seem to know how to take it when he thanked her. She looked uncomfortable every time the words left his mouth, but he had no intention of stopping.
The three of them sat in silence, knowing very well that everyone was side eyeing the change in the eating arrangements.
Carol and Sophia had been eating with Ricks family since they arrived in the new space, then they'd stayed with them until it was time to go to bed. Except to say goodnight, he had barely even spoken to them.
He finished eating first, watching Ed out the corner of his eyes, knowing he was watching the girls. But unlike everyone else, he wasn't trying to hide the fact.
He was grateful Carol and Sophia had their backs to Ed and didn't see the way he was looking at them both.
He noticed Ed's posture suddenly change. While trying to figure out why, his eyes darted between Ed and Carol to see what had caused the change.
Ed looked as though he was ready to get up, but he was obviously stalling and waiting on Carol to make a move first.
He realized quickly that Ed had noticed them empty their plates and he knew that Carol would be on her way to rinse them and leave them in their usual pile.
Carol stood up and put her hand out, waiting on him to pass his empty plate. Without thinking he jumped to his feet just as Ed did.
Ed was slowly making his way over to the area that had been reserved for cleaning up the dishes, hoping that he and Carol would collide.
He shook his head at Carol and reached out for her plate, as she was reaching for his.
"I got it"
Carol seemed confused as he tried to ply the empty plate from her hand.
"I don't mind" she argued.
He smiled and continued shaking his head.
"neither do I" he said as he finally managed to steal Carol's plate, before reaching down to take Sophia's plate. Even Sophia looked oddly uncomfortable at the idea of him taking the dishes to clean.
He didn't look up to see Ed's reaction. He didn't have to see Ed to know that he had just screwed up whatever asshole game he had planned.
He walked over to the bucket of water and dumped the three plates in, keeping his eyes fixed on the task of cleaning them, even when he felt Ed standing next to him.
He forced himself to ignore Ed looming over him and kept his eyes down. It would have been nice to smash the plates over the pricks head, instead he grabbed the dish rag and started wiping the them off.
"You her bitch now?" Ed asked, low enough to make sure no one else could hear.
He stopped scrubbing at the plate, starring at his hands in the soapy water, before he forced himself to continue.
Internally, he shook the words off, he wasn't going to give the prick the satisfaction of reacting, when it was obviously the aim of the game he was playing at.
"You know she won't hang around long, she always comes crawling back. Always." Ed added, his voice low and rough, with far too much certainty. He couldn't help but let eyes drifted to his side as Ed spoke.
"And when she does" Ed added with a darker edge to his words.
Daryl's body straightened as he turned instantly to look at Ed, making him stop mid-sentence.
He looked Ed up and down, not allowing any expression to break through.
He waited. Quietly, he wanted Ed to finish his sentence, because if he was going to stand around threatening her, then fuck it, he was going to punch his head in.
But nothing.
Ed did nothing but glare at him, waiting for some kind of reaction. But he was still waiting for Ed to work up the nerve, to finish his sentence, so that he could react without anyone being able to hold it against him.
But still Ed seemed unwilling to continue.
He dropped his gaze from Ed's eyes and smirked, then shook his head while he finished up. "I better get back to them"
He placed the last plate onto the pile and took a step back from Ed who had narrowed his eyes in on him. He held the smirk that he knew was pissing Ed off and kept his eyes on Ed's.
Before he turned to leave, he tossed the dishcloth in to the bucket and nodded in it's direction."Clean ya plate Ed"
He had to be smarter, he had to be better than this. If something was going to happen, he wasn't going to be the one to start it.
He heard Ed grumble something under his breath, but he didn't hang around to see if Ed had something else he wanted to add.
He didn't know Carol had been watching him, but he was happy that she had seen that he was able to walk away without causing a scene.
As he walked off, he wondered how Ed could be so sure that Carol would go back to him, he couldn't imagine her doing that. Not after everything that happened, not after everything she told him. But still he wondered why Ed seemed so damn sure of himself.
When he had talked to Carol by the stream and she had told him her concerns, he had managed to keep his voice down so that Sophia didn't hear him, but he had suggested to Carol that they leave. The suggestion had been more out of shock then any well thought out plan.
He knew Rick wouldn't just kick Ed out, not based solely on Carol's concerns. He knew it would be just another thing that would be swept under the rug. But in that moment he couldn't comprehend the idea of living in close quarters with Ed.
Carol seemed aware that he was merely reacting to the information she had given. She had let him rant and get it out of his system.
In reality, he knew there was no way he could pack them both up and leave. It wouldn't be safe to do with Sophia. And Carol hadn't been shown how to defend herself against the walkers yet.
He needed the group to keep them alive. And knowing that he needed the group to survive, meant that he needed to assure that he didn't get himself kicked out. Because though Rick would let a lot things go, he doubted that Rick would overlook him killing Ed.