A/N: This chapter has flashbacks to a day that took place in chapter 15 (Daryl , Carol and Sophia by the stream), in that chapter the scene was cut short, so here we have a look at what happened before the stream-scene faded to black.

This chapter really got away from me, it was supposed to be all of Daryl's POV, with a lil snippet of Carol at the start, but it just kept going and going. So yet again, the next chapter will also be a 'January' chapter.

(As usual, I'm leaving a reminder here, that flashbacks are in italics.)

Chapter 40: January (Part 3)

"Aren't you hot?" Sophia called out from the water, where she had been making small laps back and forth. It wasn't clear who the question was directed at, but he assumed it was for Carol.

He looked over to the girl and forced a smile at her.

The sun was beating down on them. The faint breeze that was hitting them, was dry and only made things worse.

He left the food to cook, knowing it would take a good bit of time before it was ready, and started toeing his shoes off. He didn't have shorts, so he settled for rolling his pants up to his knees.

He decided that he needed to push the women to relax.

Even if he had to drag her kicking and screaming to the land of unwinding.

He hopped to his feet and stood over Carol, offering her his hand.

She reacted much like he expected her to. With confusion. But it was a nice change from the frustration and annoyance that he had been dealing with since their arrival at the stream.

"C'mon now." he said flatly, wriggling his fingers to encourage her to take his hand. She eyed him suspiciously and he worked to keep all expression from his face, even when she narrowed her brow at him and he could see the annoyance returning to her eyes.

Maybe she thought he wanted them to excuse themselves from Sophia's earshot, so that they could continue the back and forth in private. Even though Sophia didn't seem to concerned with their bickering.

Maybe she thought he finally wanted her to help him get the empty jugs from the car so that they could fill them with water, and finally give Carol something to do, so that she no longer appeared as though she might start screaming from the anxious game of sitting still.

No matter what it was she thought. She finally and reluctantly took his hand.

In one swift movement, he swung her up to her feet and without skipping a beat he bent his knees and looped one arm around her legs and the other behind her back.

Carol gasped and froze for a whole three seconds once he had her of the ground and pulled her tightly against him. Her expression matched Sophia's, who was nearly neck deep in the water watching him with wide eyes and he carried her mother to the edge of the steam.

"Put me down Daryl." Carol finally managed to choke out as she squirmed in his arms, fighting for her freedom, while also obviously aware that if she fought him to hard, she ran the risk of being dropped on the ground.

He walked into the water and ignored her pleas, taking a quick moment to wink at Sophia. It was enough to make the kids tensed shoulders drop, as she realised that nothing horrible was happening. He wasn't angry and this wasn't a fight. He was however, out of ideas on how to get Carol to cool her jets.

"I'm serious Daryl put me down!" Carol demanded, once again pushing at his chest in hopes to enforce her request.

It was then that his eyes landed on hers and when they settled, she stopped fighting against him.

He could feel the drop off below his feet. He knew also that Carol had been in the stream enough to know that it was close by. She was just waiting to see what he would do next. To see just how serious he was.

There was a curve on the corner of her mouth.

She was fighting, hard, against the smile that was struggling to break through and whether she knew it or not, he was taking it a silent signal of permission to go ahead with it.

"Don't you dare" Carol warned loudly with a laugh

He smiled widely at her and raised his brow. "You wanted me ta put ya down, right?"

She was light in his arms as he tightened his hold on her. Light enough that, when jumped into the stream, he felt his feet skim the surface of the water.

He'd felt her cling to him and in the same moment that he heard the squealing laughter of Sophia erupting loud in his ears, before it was muffled out by the water that both he and Carol sunk into.

She couldn't hide the shock on her face when she came into her cell and found Merle pacing back and forth holding the baby.

The surprise wasn't because Merle had the baby nestled tightly against his chest baby. Because Merle held Hayes quite a bit. She doubted that a single day had passed, since Hayes was born, that Merle didn't make sure he spent at least some time with his nephew.

What did surprise her, was that he had the baby at all, seeing as she had left him in the care of Beth.

Beth was the self appointed babysitter of the group. She had stepped into the role quickly, because she wanted to help the group and this was the only way she knew how. So the girl spent most of her days caring for Judith and Hayes, when Carol and Rick were to busy to look after their children themselves.

"Everything alright?" she questioned as Merle stopped on his self-created path and narrowed his eyes at her.

"Where the hell ya been? I looked all over for ya" Merle growled, struggling to keep his voice low so that he didn't disturb the baby that was sleeping soundly in his arms.

She couldn't help but feel uncomfortable by Merle's tone and the expression he wore. He looked and sounded irritated with her. It was something she had been noticing since Hayes was born, and it was seemingly increasing with each passing day.

"I was working. I was cleaning and cooking…and now I'm going down to the fence to help clear the cluster that's building up" She said as she made her way passed him and over to her bed, pushing aside the covers until she found the knife she had left there by accident.

"What about the baby?" Merle questioned as the crease in his brow deepened.

"I left him with Beth. You're the one who pulled him out of daycare" she said with a light, but humourless chuckle, trying to lighten the mood, while also pointing out the obvious.

When she turned around she found that he clearly was not amused and he was even less amused when she attempted to step around him.

Quickly he put himself in her path and she found herself in some sought of stand off with him.

"Sit!"

"Excuse me?" Carol asked, raising her brow at him.

He mirrored her expression and raised his brow back at her. "You heard me women. Sit ya ass down"

She sighed heavily in frustration and fought back the urge to argue.

It wasn't often that Merle was short with her. So, she decided if he had something to say, and he clearly did, then she was going to hear him out. She owed him that much.

She sat on the bed, dropping her knife and gun down beside her, before folding her arms and locking her eyes on his hard gaze. She didn't know how long he kept his eyes glued on her's. But it seemed the longer he kept them on her, the more the tension in the room seemed to die off. With each passing second she watched as his features softened, until he sighed heavily and looked back down at the baby in his arms.

"Me and Daryl. We lived at this trailer park for awhile. Complete shithole, weren't worth the dirt it was built on."

He paused and looked at her again, briefly, before he pushed himself to continue. As always, he gave her some time to prepare, because when ever anyone mentioned Daryl or Sophia…she needed a minute to tense up her muscles and stiffen her spine. Otherwise she may very well crumble to floor.

"Anyway, our neighbor, Lenny. He had this dog, it was a good lookin' thing. Smart as hell too." Merle said as he turned to start back on his pacing, which consisted of no more then a few steps in each direction, before he ran out of space and had to turn back.

"He used to breed it. Ya know? sell the pups, make himself some money for em'."

It was then that Merle chewed his lip, much like Daryl used to do when he was nervous. And simply seeing the habit, made her nervous right along with him.

"After the dog would shoot out the puppies and they were sold off to strangers. That dog would go real quiet. She wouldn't do nothin. Just lay there."

She didn't know where the story was heading, but she knew it was going somewhere she wasn't going to like and the urgency to flee the room had her ready to jump to her feet.

"You going somewhere with this Merle? Because I need to-"

Before she could continue, Merle spun around to face her. Stopping his short back and forth across the cell. "You see, one day, she shot some more puppies out. Only this time she up'n ate em."

"Sh- she what?" Carol stuttered out in confusion.

"She ate them, all of em. Weren't no real reason for it, she hadn't done it before. But she ate the puppies." He added firmly, with a shrug.

She shook her head at the thought and found herself growing annoyed. "Merle why are you telling me this? Are you worried I'm gonna eat my baby?"

He let out a laugh that was hallow and empty, as the crease reappeared between his brow. "Hell, Carol. That would mean you'd have look at him, longer then it takes to change his shitty draws. So no, I don't think that." He let those words settle for a minute before continuing, ignoring her obvious discomfort, then dropped his eyes down to the baby that he had in his arms drawn into his chest.

"Me and Daryl, we was out on the steps one night havin' a beer after work. We got to talkin about the dog. Tryin to figure out why she'd done what she done.

Daryl, he said maybe she just couldn't stand loosing them again. Maybe she just wanted to have some control over loosing them. Maybe she wanted it to happen before she got attached. Either way, he believed- and I agreed, that she cut herself of from those pups, so she didn't get hurt again." Merle finished, looking back up at her.

"You can pick up every spare job that you come by Carol. You can keep yourself movin' like ya got a motor up ya ass. But you gotta take a few minutes every now and again to spend sometime with this kid. Cause believe it or not, he ain't goin anywhere."

She sucked back a shaky breath and turned her head from him as she struggled to keep everything locked up inside her. "The governor? He's going to-"

"You don't need to worry about that. Im'a take care of that shit, he ain't gonna get nowhere near neither of ya." Merle barked quickly, shaking his head at her fiercely.

"All you gotta do, is take care of this kid." Merle said softly as he approached her and leaned down to place the baby in her arms, lingering above her for a moment to take one last long look at his nephew before he stepped back.

"Daryl's son." Merle added before he turned and made his way to the opening of the cell.

She thought he was going to leave it at that. He had already revealed far to uch of the soft side that he kept hidden from the world. But once again he surprised her by turning back to smile at her, hanging onto the bars of the cell tightly in his hand.

"Just like he's doin' right now, with that lil' girl" Merle said confidently, keeping his eyes on hers. "When Daryl catches up to you…and believe me Carol, he will catch up. What do you want my brother to find here?"

As she watched Merle slip from the room she took two deep breaths, willing her body to calm down, begging it not to fall apart, like it desperately wanted to when she heard the echo of Daryl voice in her head. When she remembered what he had said to her that day.

Sophia had long fallen asleep. She laid down on the towel after lunch and within minutes she had given into the exhaustion that had been brought on by a long day of swimming under the hot sun.

Now it was just her and Daryl. He had taken his shirt off not to long after Sophia's started lightly snoring and then laid himself down on the sleeping bag. She had thought about telling him, that he didn't need to worry about Sophia seeing his back…she wanted to tell him that she didn't think he needed to be worried about anyone seeing it. But she decided against it. She decided that it was his business and that she should just be content with the fact that he didn't mind her seeing his scars.

He'd been lying still on his back for sometime, with an arm folded over his eyes, and if it wasn't for the quiet words they were exchanging, then she would have thought he had dosed off like Sophia had.

"You gotta take breaks. You-…well, you just gotta." Daryl said, speaking quietly, partly so that he didn't disturb Sophia, but also because he was clearly to relaxed to get himself to excited over anything.

She sat beside him, with her legs drawn to her chest, so the she was able to rest her arms and head on them. She felt calm now, she felt like she had settled into the mini vacation, she definitely had settled into letting her eyes wander over his body. She hadn't realized, until he was lying beside her, that it was a sight she didn't get to see very often. It was always either to dark or he was in to much of a hurry for her to really get a chance to memorize the sight.

"I just want to do my part"

"You do more then everyone- You don't ever stop" Daryl pointed out, for what felt like the hundredth time this week, then shrugged, letting his hand wave slightly before letting it fall again. "I ain't gonna tell you what to do"

Carol couldn't help but laugh."You brought me down here-…then you-"

Daryl shook his head as she spoke, before cutting her off. "There's a difference between making demands and downright beggin' someone"

"I can't tell you how to think. I get that-… I know what it's like to…just get caught up on things. Stuck on the way that we think things need to be. You get ya self so caught up that you can't see"

"Can't see what?" she asked eagerly, with her eyes caught on what little of his face that he was showing.

Daryl, she knew, had trouble talking about what was going on in his head. Most of the time she could simply look at him and know without any doubt that he had something he wanted to say, but for whatever reason, he didn't or couldn't voice his thoughts. So now that he was freely offering those thoughts up to her, she made sure that she paid attention and gave him all the time and encouragement he needed to continue.

"That there's another way. That your time don't have to belong to a bunch of-" He stopped then and shook his head before he got him self to worked up over the thoughts in his head. And she noticed his sigh heavily before he continued.

"There ain't no point in running around gettin all that crap done, if you ain't getting a minute of time here and there, to enjoy what the hell your workin' for Carol."

He paused for a moment and chewed at the corner of his lower lip before he spoke again."And we… well, we miss ya"

He blindly reached for her with his free hand and she let her hand closest to him drop from under head so that she could tangle her fingers into his. When he had her hand in his she felt his thumb graze over her skin, back and forth, before he lifted his other arm from his face to look over at her. "It's a damn shame to be so close to someone all day, but still find ya self missin' the hell outta em"

She looked down at her son and let the tears fall freely.

He was far to young to understand what was going on around him. He was far to young to know that he had his fathers eyes or his sandy blonde hair, he was far to young to understand that sometimes she couldn't stand to see those familiar expressions starring back at her. Because they reminded her of everything she was missing, of everything she had lost….of everything her son would never know about. And she couldn't stand the though of going through it all again, when someone found a way to take Hayes from her as well. But distancing herself from him didn't really help.

She couldn't win. Not really. The more she was around Hayes, the more she missed Daryl and Sophia. But the more she avoided Hayes, the more she missed him.

It didn't really matter what she did, because everything hurt.