Disclaimer: harry potter will never ever be mine

. . AN: the fourth chapter! In which somehow Harry and Padfoot manage to talk! (hope it doesn't seem too strange...)

A few replies to my wonderful reviewers:

Iris Flamewing: yes, I know giving him permission is a bit forced, but now we wouldn't want harry getting a trial again because he broke the law, do we? and somehow Dumbledore has his reasons e.g. harry really need to be able to defend himself, etc...

serrebi : yes, it is supposed to be going all the way into sixth year, I have some ideas about what is going to happen, but I don't know if I can do it... and still a long way before the summer ends for harry...

linadw: yes, OWLs result should be coming, but I have no idea what it should be like for him got to really think about it...

Kan : thanks for pointing out that! The English in the first two chapters are ok, because they are 'beta'-ed. But not the third and this chapter...

Also , huge thanks to all who reviewed!

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Chapter 4 Alive, But Forever Stuck?

The dog nodded his gigantic head, his mouth split into what looked like a sarcastic grin or grimace. Harry imagined if Sirius could speak, he could have barked "Bingo, Harry! " in his infamous bitter tone.

"Why? Are you hungry? You must be very tired and you don't have the strength to transform, right?" Harry bit his lips and stood up. Sirius, on the other hand, just sat still and fixed Harry with his pale blue eyes full of unspoken dejection. Harry ignored this and paced along the length of the room. He had got to keep moving and keep talking. "Are you injured? I am sure madam Pomfrey will be able to fix that in a matter of seconds. " Harry looked at anything except Sirius' eyes and kept racking his brain and speaking whatever he could think of to deny it.

"I am sure you will be able to transform soon. It happens sometimes, right? Sometimes you mess up with spells or potions, but you will eventually be able to fix it, right? Hermione must know of something about animagus transformation, she will come up with sensible plans. She will. Or Dumbledore. Yes, he knows everything. He - " Something tucked at Harry's trousers and stopped him mid-sentence. He looked down and found himself under the scolding and yet sympathizing scrutiny of the large black dog. Harry's throat constricted; he collapsed onto the floor. He had to keep talking.

"He will know what to do, Sirius. And what about the spell you used to force Wormtail to reveal his human form? We can ask professor Mcgonagol too! She is an animagus, and she must know what to do - "

Sirius interrupted him with a warning bark, which then turned to a low growl. 'Stop it!' Harry could tell from the disproving yet pitying gaze what Sirius must be trying to say. 'There is nothing you can do about this.'

Harry dropped his head into his palms and scowled his eyes up. How could this happen? He knew he shouldn't complain now that Sirius was alive, even if he was in his dog form, even if Harry would never hear his voice or talk with him ever again. But how could this be so cruel? Sirius escaped from the prison of Death only to be thrown into the physical prison of his dog form. How could this be so unfair?

"I am sorry. I am really sorry! " Chanted Harry as his hands tried vainly to stop the welling tears. "I shouldn't have led you into danger! I should be happy now that you are back. I am very thankful that you are back. I am . . . But how could it be so unfair? I am sorry!" Harry could feel Padfoot's snout nuzzled his hair. Once more, Harry buried his head into the warm and supple fur. The fresh smell of soil and grass on his fur soothed Harry's hysterical nerve. After a moment of silent sobbing, Harry finally got a grip on himself. He realized that he had broken into pieces in front of his godfather twice since their union. He should be ashamed of himself.

"I really don't mean to be so hysterical. Sorry . . ." Harry lifted his glasses and rubbed his eyes furiously with the back of his hand. Sirius just stepped back and gave Harry a stern yet indulgent don't-be-silly look. Harry couldn't help but laughed at Sirius pitiful pretence at seriousness. Sirius wagged his tail eagerly and bent his head. Harry took the hint and ruffled his long black hair, his mind once again grateful that Sirius was back. Yes, grateful he should be.

As an attempt to distract his distressed mind, Harry's eyes swept over the small and darkened bedroom. Spell books, parchment, quills were lying all over the place, and at one side of the wall Dudley's broken possessions littered the shelf; there were a wrecked camera, a headless teddy bear that was almost as old as Harry, a broken computer set with its dusty keyboard lying innocently on top of it . . .

An idea flashed across Harry's mind. He uttered a small exclaim of excitement and startled Sirius, who was crouching lazily on the floor studying Harry.

"Sirius!" Harry half crawled and half ran to his desk and grabbed several pieces of parchment, a bottle of ink and a quill, then rushed back to Sirius's side. "I have got an idea!" Sirius inclined his head and kept staring at his all of a sudden excited godson with puzzlement.

"You cannot speak, right?" Harry could help but held the impression that Sirius would regard him as insane now. "Have you ever used a type writer? Or keyboard of a computer?" Sirius predictably shook his head, having no idea what Harry was getting at.

"Well, it doesn't matter. What we will do is this. " Said Harry as he unscrewed the bottle of ink and dipped the tip of the quill into the ink. He sat crossed-legged on the floor and spread the parchment on the floor between Sirius and himself. He bent and kept writing until twenty-six large and slightly screwed up letters from 'A' to 'Z ' appeared on the parchment. He turned the parchment around so that it lay in front of Sirius. Then Harry straightened up and looked at Sirius expectantly.

Sirius stared a bit incredulously from Harry to the parchment, then back to Harry. He threw him a look that meant 'Well?'

"Come on, Sirius! I didn't quite believe it when Remus told me you were thick. Just press on the letters of the words you want to speak and I will take note of it! "

Sirius imitated a hurt expression when he was being called 'thick', but nevertheless he raised his big and hairy paw and started to touch the letters on the parchment and paused briefly between separate words. Harry thought idly for a moment that the sight of a gigantic dog so speedily touching a parchment must look bizarre to outsiders, but then caught himself and scribbled down the letters on another parchment and read it aloud after Sirius stopped his moment.

"It is a brilliant idea." Harry read and frowned. "Don't waste your words on such nonsense, Sirius!"

Harry was under the impression that Sirius shrugged, but he was not sure if such a gesture was possible for a dog. He started scribbling again as Sirius pointed across the parchment.

"I am sorry to have you worried. I promise I will not leave you ever again. " Harry read, a warm sensation spreading from his chest throughout his whole body. Sirius had never made such a promise before, and it was almost too much for Harry to hope.

"How come you survived?" asked Harry as an attempt to stop the pickling at the end of his eyes.

Once again, Sirius started his progress of paw across the letters. His moment was so fast that Harry had a hard time catching all the words he indicated. Harry squinted his eyes tiredly for several minutes before Sirius stopped his moment.

"Frankly, I don't know exactly why I survived. I could only guess. When I realized I was hit by a green curse, I knew it was the end – it was so ridiculous. I just couldn't believe and I couldn't accept; yet my brain was so horribly blank as I fell. "

"So, how come you - " Harry meant to ask him how come he survived, but was cut off as Sirius sent his paw flying across the parchment. Harry picked up his quill again.

"Hasn't anyone told you that Sirius Black is far from dull-witted, Harry? Well, I can be a bit thick sometimes, as Remus had no doubt told you so. Anyway, truth to be told, it was you who saved me, Harry. Pain spread from my chest to my whole body within second after the curse hit me, and my conscious was being stretched and I could feel my soul being violently snatched and almost detached from my body. But then you yelled for me. Your shout held back my consciousness. And then I knew I just couldn't leave you alone like this. I called upon the part that was 'dog' inside of me and drew it to the surface and my human consciousness retreated inside, so what damage done was to the 'dog'. At the same time I called upon the 'dog', I fell through the veil. That particular archway was created by the Unspeakables years ago when they so arrogantly thought they could study and understand Death, or more precisely human death. They attempted to build a portal between the World of Death and the World of Life. By some accidents or miracles, they created a portal, but after none of the several Unspeakables who had went in the portal to 'explore' had come back, the fools knew they had touched upon something they couldn't even dream to understand.

"So why did I survive and escape, you surely want to ask. It is my guess that my soul had then been so deeply buried within the layers of defenses and disguises put up by the 'dog ' that even the forces of Death in the passage leading up to the World of Death beyond that veil failed to seize my soul out of my body. If I hadn't been an animagus, my soul would have irrevocably been snatched and swallowed down the passage. "

Sirius stopped for a moment so that there was time for Harry to digest the information. After a moment of contemplation, Harry felt he got the general idea – Sirius had once again done the impossible for him – but an important part was missing. "So that's how you survived? But then how come you cannot - "

Sirius started pointing at the letters again as if he perfectly knew what Harry meant to ask. "Falling through the passage between life and death was no laughing matter. Although my soul was hidden and protected, the forces at work there still could detect my presence within the dog's physical boundary. They tried to break through the defense, and in turn I had to bury myself even deeper within the body of the 'dog'. The thought of you sustained my will at returning to the living world. I was eventually able to surround my soul with a concrete barrier against the Forces in the passage. It took me hours after hours of struggle before I could escape the claws of Death long enough to emerge from the other end of the archway. However, by then the barrier around my soul was too strong. You could imagine my horror when I found out that my human self was hidden so well inside my dog self that it was trapped within. But then I asked myself, 'I escaped, didn't I? What I have got to complain?' Soon the shock that I can no longer transform back to my human self evaporated as I later realized weeks had transpired during my struggle within the archway and that you must be near to pieces then. So I immediately made my way towards you. "

Harry's chest swelled with gratefulness towards what Sirius had done for him. He simply couldn't contain himself and embraced Sirius again. "I am so grateful that you are alive." Said Harry as he released Sirius.

"So am I " Sirius said through the parchment.

"I will not let you get out of my sight ever again." And one day I will repay what you have done for me, added Harry silently to himself.

"Neither will I."

It had been months since Voldemort had been in such a good mood. No one except himself felt the ill satisfaction, as he knew what he yielded for so long was finally within his grasp. From his throne, he surveyed his supporters with their hooded heads bowed, all obediently and fearfully awaiting his words. His gaze rested on the short figure standing in the foremost of his servants. The man fidgeted under his gaze.

"Wormtail." In an instant, Wormtail fell and knelt onto the ground as if being kicked from behind, his hood fell in the process revealing the man's bald head and his panic-stricken eyes. "Yes, my Lord? " His pitiful voice quivered.

"You finally grace your presence upon us after such a long absence from our midst. I am sure all of you here missed Wormtail terribly, didn't you?"

The taunting laughter of the Death Eaters drowned Wormtail. He fidgeted even more. Of course no one else except Voldemort had been aware of where Wormtail had been for the previous year and what had he been up to.

Voldemort lazily lifted his wand and pointed it at the filthy rat. "Crucio."

Wormtail screamed, and Voldemort laughed. Torture doubtlessly gave Voldemort amusement and satisfaction. However, this time he was laughing because of the indescribable delight he felt for the near fulfillment of his long time anticipation.

Again, Voldemort lowered his wand as if he had only performed a levitating charm instead of an Unforgivable. "This is the punishment for keeping me waiting for so long." Voldemort smirked in satisfaction as Wormtail kept rolling and squirming on the cold stone floor even after the curse was lifted. Finally he rolled back to his kneeling position. "I'm sorry, Master, I'm so sorry . . ." He moaned with an agony-filled voice.

"Lift your head. " Voldemort ordered, and Wormtail fearfully lifted his head to meet Voldemort's gaze. Voldemort concentrated and easily forced entrance upon Wormtail's mind.

Pieces of Wormtail's memory flashed before Voldemort's mind eyes – a rat running desperately through darkness and the terrible howls of foully and violent creatures, countless failures before managing an opening, a long dark underground passage, the maze of long dark corridors and staircases, and finally, a harsh, hoarse voice, then redness everywhere. . .

Voldemort stopped the invasion into Wormtail's mind. A new emotion now flared up so powerfully inside of Voldemort that the air inside the room was saturated with it – rage. The hand that was holding the wand originally was then gripping it with brutal force.

"Crucio!" Voldemort screamed in rage, and another screamed in pain.