Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Harry Potter, seriously
AN: yes, I am indeed still alive! This chapter…. It is short…and it is more of a transition to the next. The next chapter is what I have been scheming for ages. So I will at least get the next chapter done, no matter what!
Thanks for sticking with me for so long!
Also… I apologize for the poor quality of grammar of this chapter… as it was done in a bit of rush…
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Chapter 17 Apology
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When Harry woke up, Sirius was still nowhere to be seen. Harry hadn't seen him ever since the supper the day before. He tried to reach towards him through their link, but all the response Harry had got was the distant awareness of Sirius's location and his emotion. He was tired but content, and by no means in any discomfort or immediate danger.
Harry's sleepy mind decided that there was no need to be worried about Sirius's short absence. His sleepy mind also convinced him that there still was time and he could catch another fifteen minutes of sleep before getting up and facing the day.
It was with great difficulty that Harry dragged his tired body away from the warm and cozy bed. The autumn morning was chilly, Harry noted dully as he walked towards the Great Hall for breakfast.
Harry greeted Hermione and Ron and then sat down next to them and helped himself to some toast and pumpkin juice.
Harry noticed the sullen look on Ron's face as he gnawed on his toast. Perhaps the chilly morning air had served to wake Harry up from the stupor of his sleep a bit for him to notice this.
"What's the matter wi-with you?" Harry had to stifle a yawn.
"You don't reckon it'll be Snape this time, do you? " Ron asked.
"How would Harry know, anyway." The annoyance in Hermione's voice clearly indicated her anxiety over who would substitute for Remus for the morning's double DADA lesson.
When they arrived at the Defence classroom, however, a pleasant surprise none of them had anticipated was waiting for them.
"Can you believe it? It's Dumbledore!..." Ron exclaimed to Harry and Hermione, who stood behind him as he peeped into the classroom.
Before they could reply, a chuckle could be heard from inside. "Yes, indeed it's me in real person, not an imposer who had taken polyjoice potion or whatsoever, Mr. Weasley. "
Ron muttered an embarrassed apology to Dumbledore as the trio stepped into the classroom. All their classmates wore the same relieved expression on their face.
"Now, now, I have never imagined that I'm such great a headmaster that my students would look so enthused to see me in classroom," with his crystal blue eyes twinkling behind the half moon glasses, Dumbledore surveyed his students. "Nonetheless, it's at least a refreshing experience for me."
Dumbledore strode to the front of the desk and continued, "I'm sure all of you are aware of the circumstances that rendered Professor Lupin unable to attend this class. I assure you he will be up and about in no time. But meanwhile, I've got to solve the problem of one DADA teacher short once a month. So, I've come up with an idea. "
Dumbledore smiled at the politely puzzled expression the whole class was giving him.
"I'm going to elicit your help. You all are going to teach in place of Professor Lupin in his absence. You will form into groups of 4-5 students. Each group will be responsible for one class of third or fourth year students. You're to design a course, discuss with Professor Lupin, and implement it once a month when Professor Lupin is unable to go to class. What I really want is for you all to utilize your brilliant mind more fully, help out your junior a bit, while at the same time have fun. "
Excited murmur broke throughout the classes. Some people looked enthusiastic, while some looked just mildly interested. For the rest of the lesson, Dumbledore discussed with the class on what they thought were important and what they really want to learn most from the defense lesson.
It got most of the class to start thinking about how they were to prepare themselves for the war that was coming relentlessly.
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After the day's lesson ended, Harry went to visit Stan one more time. To Stan's disappointment(as he wanted to stay in hospital wing and ask more questions on healing), Madam Pomfrey had declared him 'fit for discharge' that night.
"Stan, can you help me with something?" Harry asked. Actually he had contemplated this for a while, but he couldn't ask Hermione or Ron for help.
"Sure! Friends are supposed to help each other out, aren't they? " Stan looked up from his terrifyingly richly illustrated books on healing.
"I'm thinking of trying to become an animagus."
"Really? That's cool!" Stan half exclaimed, his eyes widened in awe, no doubt thinking that his wanting to be an animagus would have something to do with some secret adventures.
Harry felt really bad to have to lie to him.
"Yeah, because I think it may become handy someday soon. But I want to keep it as a secret. The problem is, learning to become an animagus is a really risky business. I have heard rumors that… terrible things happened to those who tried it lightly."
Stan nodded. "You're right. From some books I've read, there are at least a hundred possible complications to the process of becoming an animagus."
Harry knew he had found the right person.
"Yes… I know. I have heard one that was particularly terrible… that although the wizard successfully turned into an animal, he just… couldn't turn back. So he was stuck as an animal."
"Really? That I think I haven't really read about."
"I want to be an animagus… so I really need to know if such complication is possible. If I'm really stuck in my animal form in the process, then would there be a way to turn back? Would there be a way for other people to help turning me back? This I really want to know. I hope that you can help me with your expertise on healing."
"I'm most honored to be able to help! I'll try my best! And I'll definitely tell nobody about it too!" Stan's eyes were shining with delight. He was probably thrilled that he could help Harry in some serious business.
"Thank you, Stan. Your help really mean a lot to me." Harry said truthfully.
After chatting a bit more with Stan, Harry left the hospital wing for the Great Hall.
Harry had tried researching on animagus for a while now, with not much success. He really wanted to help Sirius get back to his human form. He was sorely tempted to seek help from Hermione. However, Sirius had made it quite clear that he didn't want anyone else to know of his survival.
Asking Hermione to help him find about how he could turn an animagus back to his human form would certainly ring some bells.
Harry was also tempted to ask McGonagall, the Hogwarts transfiguration specialist, about it too. But for the sake of discretion, it was not feasible. That's why he finally came up with the idea of seeking help from someone who didn't know Sirius and his animagus status at all.
Harry was not sure why… but Sirius didn't seem too outwardly anxious for his condition. He even seemed reluctant every time Harry tried to bring this subject up .Harry could not comprehend how on earth he would not be anxious.
More likely, Sirius was just not expressing his distress in front of Harry so as not to burden him.
Harry had secretly (he had tried really hard to conceal this thought from Sirius) decided that returning Sirius back to his human form, in the end, should take precedence over all else. If Harry could figure out nothing to help Sirius, he would seek help from McGonagall, or even Dumbledore. But he would try his best to respect Sirius' wish first.
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During dinner, Harry noticed that Remus was already up at the head table. He was, as usual after transformation, looking a bit worn out. However, at the same time he was taking to Professor McGonagall besides him in an uncharacteristically high spirit.
"Don't you think Remus looked almost cheerful today? But it was just after full moon…" Hermione also noticed the change.
"How can he be cheerful?" Ron turned to the head table and observed for a while. "Well, I don't know… but he does seem to be really eating now, doesn't he?"
Indeed, Harry had hardly seen Remus with such good appetite ever since last term. With a stab of guilt, Harry wondered if Remus was just finally recovering from the grief of the supposed 'demise' of his last best friend.
After dinner, Harry and Hermione headed for their Prefect meeting and went on patrolling for a bit before returning to the common room.
As Hermione went back up her room for books, Harry found Padfoot lying comfortably in the Gryffindor common next to the fireplace.
Harry also sat down in the armchair in front of the fire place, and chatted idly with Sirius about what they should teach the third year students.
/It's so like Dumbledore to come up with such kind of strange and clever ideas./ Padfoot was swinging his tail slowly, his giant head lay down on top of his crossed paws, near to the hearth. Harry could feel the drowsy contentment of a belly full of deliciously warm meal seeping through their bond. Or was the contentment his own? He couldn't really tell.
When Harry really thought(not that his drowsy mind was really that capable of much coherent thought), Sirius had been a bit too suspiciously content… he had asked Sirius where he had been the previous night, but Sirius had just shaken his question off with some vague answer of 'in the forest'.
/yeah… I was just simply glad that it wasn't Snape… though I think it would be nicer if Dumbledore actually taught us some DADA… instead of this teaching thing we have to do…/ Harry's eyelid was so heavy. He sank further deep down into the sofa.
/what do you say to dueling? Maybe we should just have a dueling practice… that could be simple but useful... /
'Harry? Have you seen Ron?'
/Or we should teach shielding spell. That would really be helpful if they are attacked…/
"Harry? Harry!"
/Harry, you are spacing out/
The sudden jolt in Sirius' awareness also jolted Harry back to his surrounding. Ginny was practically glaring down at him, her arms crossed, annoyance and suspicion radiating out from her whole stance.
"Ginny!"
"Harry, are you sure that beast that attacked you haven't caused you some permanent brain damage? You seem to be spacing out a lot lately."
"I'm sorry," Harry sat straight up, one hand lifting his slipping glasses back up his nose. "It was just so comfortable in front of the fire and I was just dozing off… you find me for something?"
/your excuse is so brilliant./
Harry couldn't help but glared at Padfoot, who had an infuriatingly smut grin on his face. But as if suddenly realizing Ginny was still glaring at him in suspicion, Harry hastily looked back to her.
"Yes. I was asking if you by any chance have seen my dear brother around."
"Oh… I haven't. I mean the last that I saw him was back at dinner."
"Ok. Thanks anyway." With a quick swirl, Ginny turned and walked away without a backward glance.
/If you keep this dense face up, that smart girl is going to notice something's wrong and give us trouble./ Sirius said.
/It's only me who'd be troubled, anyway./ Harry signed. He knew that sometimes he would just be too absorbed in his 'conversation' with Sirius that he became less alert to his surrounding. He was a bit annoyed at himself for being so ignorant about such thing sometimes. He really didn't want other people to start questioning his behaviour.
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Sixth year life at Hogwarts was really tricky. Not only did they have to face the difficult and more intensive than ever teaching for NEWTs, they also were burdened with duties of Prefects and team captains. Moreover, Harry also had to start thinking up on how he was going to run the Dumbledore's Army again. He decided that he should come up with a plan before discussing it with Remus.
At the end of another long and tedious day, Harry, Ron and Hermione settled down in their favourite spot near to the hearth. The tables in front of them were flooded with their new, thick textbooks and piles of parchment. The three of them, even for Hermione, were trying in vain to tackle their piles of assignment.
After a long struggle, Hermione sank down in her armchair and rubbed her eyebrows in tiredness. She got up from her chair, stretched a bit, and then picked up a paper bag she had carried with her and started moving around the common room. As she did so, she dropped pieces of clothing around.
Harry exchanged an exasperated glance with Ron.
"She's at it again?" Harry muttered a bit incredulously.
"Well, you know, ever since the incidence with the centaur, I think she's been quite stressed out… and she has been very keen on helping out her fellow magic creatures." Ron shrugged.
"Hermione," Harry couldn't help himself but said as Hermione sat down again. "What you are doing is a bit …selfish."
"What?"
"You are forcing others to accept things that you think are right, even if you well know that they don't want it."
Hermione's face turned indignant.
A voice at the back of Harry's mind was telling him to drop it, but somehow words just spilt out of his mouth.
"Let's face it, Hermione. You are as good as telling Crookshank not to chase and harm mouse. You might think it is wrong for Crookshank to kill, but it is in a cat's nature to chase mouse and eat them, or else they may die, just as it is in an elf's nature to serve. They are even proud of it. You can't force them into accepting things they don't want."
"It doesn't mean what they are accepting is right! They have the right to live in dignity and quit being bossed around! They just need to be enlightened of the rights entitled to every living creatures - "
"Do this justify what you are doing, Hermione? Who do you think has taken all the clothes you left around last year? It was Dobby. No other elves were willing to clean the Gryffindor common room last year because they thought what you did as an insult to them. You are injuring their dignity by trying to catch them off guard and setting them free against their will. Your aim doesn't justify the radical actions you are taking!"
"How dare you Harry! How can you say this - "
"Someone has to point it out to you before you do more damage - "
Harry regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth. He didn't understand why he was doing it either. But he just couldn't back down.
Sirius was just silently watching their interplay with what akin to be amusement, Harry noted resentfully.
"I cannot believe it!" Hermione declared. "It's fine you aren't concerned with elf right, but you have no rights to criticize my action!"
"If a friend doesn't have the right, who does?"
Hermione ignored his comment. "It doesn't mean that everyone have to be committing mistakes just because you did."
Harry had a vague idea what Hermione was on about. "What?" He glared at her, daring her to speak her mind.
"Hey guys, just cool down!" Ron said, clearly incredulous that they were arguing so heatedly all of a sudden over house-elves.
"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about! It doesn't mean that everyone have to be wrong just because you have played the 'hero' and led Sirius to death by mistake!" Hermione gasped sharply and bit her lips as soon as her words left her mouth, as if then realizing the harshness and the irrationality of the words. The colour on her cheek was fading as fast as that on Harry's.
Hermione's words felt like invisible daggers stabbing right at Harry's heart. His face winched and his hands trembled, his whole torso rigid. Both stood their grounds and glared at each other. All Ron could do was standing rooted to the ground with his mouth open and shut and open again, his throat issuing unrecognizable sounds every now and then.
"Guys, calm down - " Ron finally found his voice back.
"Good night, Ron." Hermione snapped and turned around, her face still pale as ghost. In a flash, she stormed off to the stairway leading to the girl dormitory.
"Well, that's the first that you two had such a quarrel," Ron said, his eyes still wide from shock, "though I don't get why you two all of a sudden get so heated up…"
"I don't know either." Harry threw himself down the armchair, troubled.
Padfoot was silently giving him a reproving glance.
For the next few days, Hermione acted as if Harry didn't exist. Whenever Harry sat down at the dining table, she would soon get up and leave. During lessons, they would each talk to Ron and acted as if the other was not there.
Ron was like a fish out of water. Always he was at a loss of what to do. Very often he looked as if he was restraining himself very hard to not hit them hard on their head to wake them up from their stubbornness.
It was not that Harry was really mad at Hermione… he was certainly also at fault. Although he really meant what he had said, he should not have expressed it in such a hurtful manner. However, he was just not sure how he would redeem it…
How was he going to confront Hermione? What ever should he say to her?
Ever since the episode back at the Order Headquarter during the summer in which Hermione slapped him, their relationship stood a bit shaky. He should have seen it coming, seeing it that as of yet he and Hermione had not had major quarrels in the past five years as close friends. However, when it finally happened, Harry really was at a loss. He really didn't want their friendship to be ruined and drifted apart like this, he really didn't want it to happen, yet he found it hard to apologize for something that he did right.
But he guessed their friendship was way more valuable than his mere pride.
Harry leant against the window sill and stared outside. Under the soft illumination of the new moon, the Hogwarts ground looked ethereal. He could hardly see any life form out in the cold night air, except an occasional owl or two…
As he decided that he really should get moving and locate Hermione to apologize to her, he turned from the window. A silhouette entered his peripheral visual field. Immediately he span back and strained to follow the silhouette that was striding its way from the front door of the castle to the direction of the Forbidden Forest.
Harry sprang up, rushed to his room(all the other roommates were sleeping, except Ron, who was still in the Quidditch captain meeting) and grabbed his invisibility cloak. Checking his wand in his pocket, he swiftly left.
Harry didn't know what it was. Maybe it was the long cloak that she wore, maybe it was the way that she walked, or maybe it was simply the way with which she held herself… but Harry had known the silhouette was none other than Hermione's the moment he set his eyes upon her. After five years, Harry just knew Hermione too well. Without further thought, Harry knew he had to follow her. He simply couldn't let Hermione wander alone into places as dangerous as the Forbidden Forest in the night, especially in light of the recent attacks in Hogwarts, regardless of how smart and intelligent Hermione was as a witch.
It was an instinct - Harry just had to let his body act. There was simply no other way but to follow.
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Hermione drew the cloak even closer around herself, if that was possible. She hadn't expected the night air to be so cold… chilling her to her bone.
Or may be it was just her psychological fear for what she was about to do.
She didn't know what drove her to do it. The moment she woke up from a dream, no, a nightmare(which details faded completely when she returned to her full consciousness), whole body covered in cold sweat, she suddenly had the great urge to do something.
She simply couldn't let things be the way they were now.
It was her fault to begin with – her fault that Stanley Nott was attacked by the centaur.
If not for what she had done last term, the centaur wouldn't hold such animosity towards human beings.
This knowledge had been weighing down on her lately. She knew she couldn't rest soundly without setting it straight, but honestly, even she was said to be the brightest witch of the year, Miss-know-it-all, she really didn't know what to do this time.
Then why were her feet still moving towards the Forbidden Forest seemingly on their own accord?
She shook off the thoughts. Thinking about how it was impossible was useless.
She could do it- somehow, she would apologize to the centaurs and made them see that all that happened last term meant no harm to them.
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Please review to let me know that there are still people out there who enjoy what I'm writing.
Look forward to writing again to you all in the next chapter!