Did It Hurt When You Fell From Heaven?

Where-my-heart-resides

8-15-06

(A/N: Sorry for the long wait! I've been grounded. Sorry...)

Hermione sighed as she looked down at her homework. She couldn't stop thinking about Malfoy. No, it's not what you think. Whatever she thought about Malfoy wasn't a good thought. On the contrary, she was often thinking out ways to kill him in his sleep, or how to make him cry or something like that. But still, any thought about Malfoy wasn't good. And just as she thought this, she heard a... car? No way, that was impossible. But it was. Draco bloody Malfoy came crashing through a wall, right into the great hall, and was speeding towards her. Oh crap, was all she thought as the car came to a halt in front of her.

Draco hopped out of the car looking just like... Batman? What the heck? He looked her straight in the eye and said "Since I'm Batman, would you like to take a ride in my Batmobile?" He said this so incredibly loud that half of the hall turned to look at him. Hermione gaped. What had he just said to her? That little pervert! Obviously, Harry had just explained to Ron what that meant, because by this point, they'd both bolted from their seats and were running at him.

"AHHHHH!" Draco screamed. He jumped into the car, and attempted to drive off. The only problem was that as he turned it on, a song came on. "Dunananananana BATMAN!" the car belted.

"AHHHHH!" Draco screamed as he jumped out of the car and started kicking it. "I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, PLEASE DON'T BLOW UP!" He yelled at it. As he kicked it, it began to move forward. It started to speed up. "DON'T LEAVE WITHOUT ME!" He yelled and he jumped on it. He climbed onto the top of the car, and looked around. "So, what do you say Hermione?" He called as it edged away. Hermione shook her head in disgust, and walked away.

Which was a bad decision, because she missed the thing that would be talked about in Hogwarts for the next twenty years. The day Batman ran over Snape. Right as Hermione walked out of the Great Hall, Snape walked in. He took one look at what was happening and yelled "Batman! I order you to stop that car right now! Wait... Batman?" He looked up at the ceiling in wonder. When he looked forward again, he realized that the car was only feet away from him.

"AHHHHH!" Snape screamed as he tried to run. But his robes were caught on a table, so he was just running in place. And before the school knew it, Snape had disappeared beneath the car. After the car passed, he lay still in his place. The whole school stared at him until they heard another scream. This one happened to be Draco again. They looked and realized that the car was preparing to go back though the hole that it had come through... With Draco on top.

"AHHHHH!" Draco screamed for the third time that day. Bam. Draco was thrown backwards as he collided with the wall. His body flew gracefully through the air, before crashing down next to Snape's. At that very moment, Dumbledore walked through the doors, looking at the hole in the wall in wonder. He looked down at the two unconscious bodies lying on the ground, then looked around at the hall.

"... Lemon drop?" (A/N: Only readers of "Blackmail" will understand just how funny that really is.)

?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?

Ways To Kill Draco Malfoy

Was Hermione's heading on her piece of paper. Today, she was humiliated in front of half of the school, and she wanted revenge. And want Hermione wants, Hermione gets. And thus, a sub-plot to this story was started.

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DC: Not mine.
A/N: Like I said, I'm super super super sorry about the long wait! Anyway, thank you all SO MUCH for reviewing! It was FANTASTIC to hear from some of my old reviewers! I felt like I was home again. So thank you to the old reviewers, and a gigantic thanks to those of you who haven't read me before but are still giving me a chance!
Review minimum: Ten, before I update! I promise I won't get grounded again, so once I have ten reviews, you get a new chapter!