Love and stomach cramps by Lokli2
Girl: Do you have a condom?
Lokli2:Yes but I still don't own Naruto
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'What was he thinking when he asked Naruto to join them.' Was the thought on Shikamaru's mind as his blonde friend just slurped up his eighth bowl of ramen. 'How in hell was he gonna pay for this. He didn't even like ramen all that much.'
Then he heard the most sweet, sarcastic voice that he loved so say "You can really pack it down can't ya."
Naruto then retorted, "You should see me when I haven't already eaten." As he flashed his trademark good-guy pose.
'If he's already eaten, I'd fear for my life on one of his hungry days.' Shikamaru thought.
"How you planning on payin for this?" Temari asked as she stared on with morbid fascination.
"No idea. You any good at washing dishes?"
"Isn't it a custom that the man that asked for the date to do the dishes if he can't afford it?" Said Temari smugly.
But just then a terrible pain flashed through Shikamaru as he slid off his stool clutching his stomach in agony.
"Are you alright shika-kun?" Questioned Temari.
"I think its pain from having to pay for 11 bowls of ramen that were for only one person." Said Shikamaru 'Why did she say I could pay for Nauto too? I can barely afford two people.' The lazy shinobi thought as Naruto jumped up.
"Where does it hurt?" Naruto asked as he examined Shikamaru.
"In my wallet." said the boy in mesh but after a loud lurch came from his stomach he quickly added "But my gut isn't feeling great either."
"Man something could be seriously wrong, I better get you to Sakura." "Temari take care of the bill." The blonde ninja said as he threw her a wad of cash. "When your done here come meet us at the hokage tower." Temari nodded and the boys were on their way.
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"It's not good." Sakura admitted as Naruto and Temari looked on with anxious eyes. "He was poisoned on his last mission, and probably won't survive."
Then when Temari and Naruto began to cry, Sakura just busted out laughing say "I'm just messin with ya he's gonna be fine, he just got food poisoning and needs to stay in the hospital for a few days before he goes home."
Temari, then, made such a wind with her fan it almost knocked the hospital of its foundation. All the while, Naruto was celebrating that his friend wasn't going to die.
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Later
"I still don't get it I eat there all the time, and I haven't gotten sick before."
"Well kit that could be because I save your ass whenever you're fighting, you don't think I do the small things too?" The kyuubi decided to act up.
'You know I can take care of myself don't you fox?'
"You wish, I've been working over time for you since you were born."
'Bite me fox.' Naruto said as the fox went on ranting, but he really didn't care so he stopped paying attention.
"Well looks like I'm not gonna get to see the village now." Temari spoke up.
"If ya really want I could show you around. I mean it probably won't be as good as it would be if it was shikamaru, but I won't mind."
That's when Temari perked up, deciding to make a big scene, "Naruto I can't go out with you my heart belongs to Shikamaru.
And Naruto jumped back in a pleading manner saying, "I would never ask you out." But then Naruto saw Temari's angry face and quickly added "Not that you don't look good… But I'm not trying to pick you up."
"I guess now that shiki-kun's in the hospital I have nowhere to stay." She said as she gave Naruto the puppy dog eyes.
"Yes kit finally some girl wants to go home with you."
'So what?'
"You finally get to…" and his sentence trailed off there as he got on his back two legs and began to thrust his hips, while spanking some thing invisible and howling like a wolf.
'I still don't get… HEY wait a minute perverted fox I couldn't do something like that.'
"I knew it your gay."
'HELL NO I AM NOT.' Naruto roared in his head.
"Then what the hell is wrong with you. The first time isn't that scary."
'I'm afraid of nothing it's just she's my best friend's girl.'
"I still think you're gay."
He then let out a sigh and said, "Well I guess Shikamaru wouldn't mind too much." "Come on, my place is right over here."
Temari then did that thing where girls jump up and down and clap their hands. 'With a girl like this I can see why Shikamaru thinks everything is so troublesome.'Thought Naruto as he unlocked the door to his apartment.
"Look at it this way kit even if nothing happens it could still be fun."
'This is going to be a hell of a month.'
"Damn strait."
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There you have it, my first fic if you want to see more review and I will continue and if you want me to be blown off the face of the earth, it's not happenin anytime soon. Constructive criticism is wanted but please don't flame too much.