Never fear, Lokli2 be here with a brand new installment of love and stomach cramps. Hopefully better than last few chapters.

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Naruto suddenly awoke with a hand over his mouth and a kunai at his throat. When he finally opened his eyes he saw a mixture of red and black staring directly back at him. But it wasn't Sasuke at his home for his weekly challenge to the death.

"Make a noise and she dies." Naruto instantly recognized the voice: Itachi. "Write an excuse note as fast as you can or she will die." After reading Naruto's eyes he quickly added, "Even though my eyes can copy techniques and trap people in a horrible prison of pain and torment, I cannot copy another person's handwriting." (yea I know I had to kick myself in the head for that one)

Thinking for a moment he quickly jotted down a note and left it, in hopes that Temari might decipher the clue. "So sleepy-head decided to get up." Naruto instantly knew that smug, lazy voice. He glared daggers at his so-called "friend". "You are surprised by this?" He asked. "Well you should seriously think about the consequences before you fuck another guy's girlfriend." He said on the verge of screaming the last words. "No matter I know Ino has always wanted me." "Originally I was planning on killing you but I thought about it and realized that alone I wouldn't stand a chance against you so I called up some "friends" and they rushed right over." Shikamaru spoke with a sneer.

"Quiet down yappie we gotta get outta here." Kisame told the shadow ninja. 'Did he just call me yappie' Shikamaru thought to himself. "Let's roll."

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The next morning

"Naruto last night was amaz…" She left off realizing nobody was there. 'I wonder where he went' she thought to herself, as her stomach gave quite a large lurch. 'I better grab a bite before my stomach starts digesting itself.

As she entered the kitchen she saw a note lying on the counter. "So this must explain where he went." She said to herself, as a small chibi appeared on her shoulder.

"You really shouldn't talk to yourself. It makes you look crazy."

"Well since you're here, technically I'm talking to you" The girl replied.

"I guess that's a valid argument. Well just to let ya know I'm getting some weird vibes from that letter. Well later, and remember, read between the lines." The chibi said as it was lost from existence in a puff of smoke.

"Whatever." She said as she picked up the note.

Yo Temri, I'm going out to ick some ss eaching some tudents at the academy. pper level shinobi maing me be a sensei. 'll be back soon

Naruto

"Wow that's what I call bad spelling. Maybe he hasn't gotten any smarter over the years." She told herself curiously. "Damn still no food, he has got to shop sooner or later." "I think I'll go say hello to him. Let's go chibi."

"Right behind ya."

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Thirty minutes later at the academy

'Where the hell could he be?' She asked herself in her mind. 'I think that guy knows Naruto.' "Hey you um… whatsyername… um… uh… scarface" 'what is it, what is it' she thought to herself, 'That's it' "IRUKA"

"Oh hello Temari-san how are you today?" He replied.

"I'm fine, can you tell me where Naruto is?"

"I would but I don't know where he is today. I kinda figured he was with you."

"But I found this note that says he was going to be here today. Here take a look." The suna girl said as she handed the, extremely weak for a ninja, man.

"This seems familiar… That's right this is how Kiba, Naruto, Chouji, and Shikamaru would pass notes in class." Temari couldn't help but flinch at the sound of her former boyfriend's name. "Look here, all you do is take the missing letters and put them together in a word or phrase. "Here Temari is missing an A, throw in a K, another A, T, S, U, oh almost missed the extra K, and an I. There ya have it." He said triumphantly but then quickly realized what the message said. "Oh shit. Akatsuki."

"You mean that terrorist organization that kidnapped Gaara?" She questioned.

"Yea that's them. They have a hideout just outside of Konoha. They've made several attempts at kidnapping Naruto but so far have only failed miserably, 'cause the fact that Naruto lives right next to a play-doh outlet store and Deidara always makes them stay there until they get kicked out." He answered. "I say we have about ten hours to get a group together and go bring down the entire syndicate."

With that Temari was off. The first people she ran into was Hinata and Chouji, she quickly went over the story with them and they agreed to help with the rescue. "Ok round up as many people as you can and we'll meet at the gate in an hour."

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The Akatsuki compound

"Dedicated to Sasori, or better known as that crazy puppet guy." the plaque right out side the "compound" read. "So who did you get to replace him?" Naruto asked the disgruntled Uchiha.

"At first we got some jackass named "Pierre" but, well ya know how I have an affinity with killing peoples families? Well he had that same problem just with tying them to the railroad tracks, so I snapped his neck." "Do you know how often a train comes to konoha? I'll tell ya when a train comes to Konoha: Never!"

"But I digress, after killing him we started holding open auditions. Then we got simon cowell but some angry guy killed him while talking about singing something better than he gave him credit for. Luckily for us a new applicant came to us about a week ago and he was welcomed with open arms." He said motioning to Shikamaru.

"Man I know I stole your girlfriend but is that really deserving of and execution?" The blonde asked Shikamaru.

"You could never know how much I loved her." The shadow nin replied, his voice as cold as stone.

"That's a load of bullshit, and you know it. She was nothing more than a trophy to you." Shikamaru simply sneered at this remark. 'Even if she was nothing more than a trophy, she was my trophy.' He thought.

"Take him to his torture room while we wait for the rest to arrive. My stories are on." Itachi said to kisame and Shikamaru.

The Akatsuki "compound" was more of big apartment. Naruto could only see into two of the rooms one of which had a lot of plants, an aquarium with a shark in it, and a picture of a guy with a plant for a head. The other which was full of clay, play-doh sets, and the rest of the room looked like an eye doctors office with various contact cases. Both rooms had huge stacks of porn except the "garden room" had huge stacks of gardening magazines.

"Here's your cell, maggot." Kisame said at the entrance of a room. The room seemed normal just it had no furniture and a single television in the middle.

"This doesn't look all that bad. Hell it could be quite comfortable."

"I doubt that you'll be thinking that in about fifteen minutes." The shark man replied laughing maniacly as he closed the door.

Naruto then began to look around the room thinking 'I still don't see what's so bad about this place.' But he soon found out why this room was so scary as the television turned on saying, "Welcome to The View marathon. All the view, none of the commercials, twenty-four, seven. "

"HOW COULD YOU! DAMN YOU AKATSUKI! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!"

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L2 here. Believe it or not I just realized how to check the number of hit you get on a story hits himself in the head but we have busted 2300 hits but still barely any reviews. Please review this time through and also stop by my other story doctor Feelgood. I won't hold ya up any longer. L2 OUT