Appearances
A 'Portraits of Jack O'Neill' scribble fic
By Gumnut
29 Aug 2006

Jack is...Jack is a man who has been through a great deal of pain.

The thing is, if you don't know him very well, you won't know that. You can't see it by just looking at him. Take Abydos for example. That first time. I didn't know Jack then. To me he seemed to be your average career minded military type. All work and no play.

Hmm. If Jack heard me say that...heck, I know I can't talk, but seriously the man was a robot.

Okay, okay, I will admit, I wasn't exactly level headed during that mission either. But it was a big deal. Here I was thrown back into a world I had only imagined...and the languages...do you realise what that meant to me? And I was right! It was an experience of a lifetime.

Of course, it has now been overshadowed by all the missions we have since been on, but Abydos...it was and is special.

But Jack, I was talking about Jack. Career military type. Who would have guessed there was a suicidal father under all that pomp and process? So efficient, sharp, determined...heh, even his hair stood up to attention.

He was just so sick and hurting.

And the military took full advantage.

Bastards.

Sam and Teal'c have no idea. They've seen him in some pretty bad situations, but never...no, never that. And by god, I hope never to see him like that again.

Now...mischief and practical jokes, laughter, one liners, he is the life of the party. The ghost of the dying father is gone. No, perhaps not gone, but hidden. Deep. Far from prying eyes.

The only time it's seen is when children are involved.

You can see it in his eyes.

Jack would kill to protect a child. He rallies everything and everyone possible if a child is in trouble.

The incident with the Reetou. I don't know how that young boy attained the name Charlie, but the first time I heard it used, it nearly broke my heart. Jack. God, that must have hurt. And the events that followed...I don't know what we would have done if Charlie had died. It was a very real possibility from the moment he stepped through the gate, but the possibility and the reality are two different things. I saw Jack pleading with Janet, I saw the sympathy in her eyes.

He shouldn't have to go through that all again.

Thankfully he didn't and the Tok'ra saved the day.

But one thing does have me worried. Jack promised to visit Charlie.

He hasn't.

Jack doesn't give his word lightly, but it has been weeks now and he hasn't even mentioned the boy's name. It is unlike him to hide from something like this, but I have to think that perhaps he is afraid of getting too close. Close enough to be hurt again.

It is understandable. Once bitten, twice shy. And pain like that never fully heals.

I may make up an excuse and drag him there anyway. I wonder what Sam and Teal'c would think of the idea.

Anyway, you see, while Jack appears to be the career soldier on the surface, I don't really think he is underneath. Not a typical one, in any case.

Don't get me wrong. He can fight and he is damn good at what he does, but he is not a killer.

He cares too much.

Don't bother accusing him of that though. He'd deny it and then proceed to convince you you're crazy, smart ass lines included free of charge. No, the caring goes unacknowledged, almost as if it is shameful or something. I'm the one who gets accused of caring too much, not Jack.

But there are many different ways to care.

So don't expect Jack to be what he appears to be. Appearances can be deceptive and truths are often hidden, even from those who hold them.

And if you want to see the real Jack, take a moment, sit back and watch, because it is not what he says that matters.

It's what he does.

-o-o-o-o-
FIN.