Disclaimer: I Don't Own Tales of Symphonia or Any of Its Characters

Aisu: Another chapter since the heat is starting to die down a bit. Thank you ShadowofUndine and Prof. Posiee Woe for reviewing last chapter! You guys really made my day! And thank you all the anonymous people who read my story!

By the way, this story is based on my gameplay with a twist. I started another file since I accidently saved over my 92-hour game file. ;.; I had over 2000 GRADE in that thing! -cries- Over 5 hours a day, killing Bacuras all for naught... At least I still have my Kratos-ending file... 72-hours on that one still!

AISU OBTAINED THE TITLE: "SUPER GEEK"

Yeah, anyways, enjoy!

Chapter 4: Jackass Mayors and Hybrid Dogs

While they were walking down the path that led back to Iselia, Genis shouted –beep- very, very loudly causing every monster around to surround them. "What the hell did you do that for!" Lloyd demanded as he swung around his swords like a desperate lunatic.

"We forgot to return the Sorcerer's Ring!" Genis snapped and swung his kendama around, doing one-hit damage each time. That rules… NOT!

"I thought I threw it to the floor after I had a hissy fit." Lloyd said and trapped a wolf in a headlock and gave it a noogie till it finally died. But Lloyd was paying too much attention to what Genis was saying to even notice.

"I know; that's why I took it just in case we needed it in the future." Genis kicked aside a small rabbit and showed his hand as proof he had the ring on his finger.

"Well, should we walk all the way back there and return it?" Lloyd asked and finally dropped the wolf now realizing it was dead.

"Hell no, I'm not going back if it means going through this again!" Genis said and tried casting Stone Blast, but it erupted right where they were standing.

Lloyd growled as he stood up, an evil glint in his eye, and charged at the monsters. "DIE FLEA INFESTED BEINGS!" He then went on a killing spree, much like Colette when she was killing Golems, and monsters went flying in a very comical fashion.

Genis then started tinkering with the Sorcerer's Ring. "I wonder if I could connect it to my mana source then-" He was cut off when his plan worked and a giant inferno of fire blasted out of the ring and fried any in his way, causing some monsters to whimper and run away, tails between their legs. "Sweet…"

Well, it doesn't work that way in the game, but it got rid of the monsters faster so they could get to Iselia and move on with the plot. Too bad though, it would've been cool! So… let's say the ring malfunctioned and it can no longer do that again so that I can't massacre the plot that way, okay? Yay! So once they reached Iselia, they decided to be nosy little brats and see what was going on at Colette's house. Once they reached there, they intruded without even knocking to see that Mayor, Frank, Kratos and Colette all having a tea party with tiny cups and saucers even!

The mayor finished his sip and sighed. "Damn, you really know how to convince someone with tea. Okay then, I shall entrust the protection of Colette to Kratos and Raine."

"What about me!" Yuan shouted and had a fit on Kratos' shoulder.

"I really don't think it'll be necessary from what I saw." Kratos muttered to himself, replaying the Temple's events in his mind. He turned his attention to his conscience and whispered. "Plus Yuan, you're invisible since you're a conscience."

"Oh, so that explains why those kids were so disturbed when I floated around with the Life Bottle." Yuan tapped his chin thoughtfully.

Colette looked at Lloyd and Genis who entered through the door and screamed. "What the hell are you doing in my house!"

"We're being nosy little brats, why else?" Lloyd shrugged.

"Oh okay!" She then decided to glomp Lloyd to the floor. "Thank you so much for all your help I was so scared!" She cried all over Lloyd's shirt.

"EW, get the hell off of me! I got girl cooties!" Lloyd shoved her off and brushed off his clothes to rid himself of the 'cooties'.

"Since Phaidra has gone AWOL, I shall award you with awesomest book EVER! It's one-hundred percent recyclable and the best pastime activity during your journey. Best of all, it's over 5 game plays of fun!" Frank tossed the huge heavy said book at Genis and squished him completely.

"Geez, that's good to know." Genis muttered and tossed the book into the recycling bin nearby. Always remember to recycle kiddies!

AQUIRED "COLLECTOR'S BOOK" BUT DECIDED TO SAVE A COUPLE HUNDRED TREES INSTEAD, YAY!

"I can never understand why people think those two are going to go on this long-ass journey too." Mini Yuan growled.

"It confuses me too…" Kratos muttered but then noticed everyone was staring at him. "What?"

"Mr. Kratos, are you schizophrenic or something? You keep on talking to your shoulder." Colette asked innocently.

Kratos stared blankly for a moment. "Chosen, how do you know such a big word?"

"Because I am too! I think puppies talk to me!" She began laughing like an idiot, which is true because I don't think schizophrenia works that way.

"So…" Lloyd began trying to change the subject. "Were you all just talking about the World Regeneration just now? I wanna go too and see Colette get screwed over by the angels! It'll be so funny!"

"I need to go if Raine's going or else she'll kill everyone with overdoses of love and her ramblings of love and peace and embarrassing stories about me." Genis said.

"Hell no, you're both nuisances!" Kratos shouted standing up from his seat and smacking the table for emphasis.

"Well, screw you, Mr. Hot Stuff! We're going too!" Lloyd shouted back and slapped the table as well for added emphasis.

"Did you not realize how badly we got our asses kicked! At least I'll have a better healer to work with! You'll all just get all homesick and cry and beg for me to feed you while you just make huge fusses hugging your stuffed animals! Then you'll wet yourselves out of fright in battle and will expect ME to change you and make it all go away!" Kratos snarled back then noticed Genis hiding his Katz plush behind his back.

"And you don't think Colette will do that?" Lloyd asked incredulously.

"… At least she's just ONE person." Kratos sighed.

"You can count Raine in that description too. You have no idea what she's like when she's away from the school for too long." Genis mentioned.

Kratos just wanted to break down crying. Poor guy… and Yuan just laughed and laughed until he couldn't breathe properly anymore.

The mayor decided to say something considering he was ignored throughout the whole conversation. "I feel complete sympathy for Kratos. This is personal business, NOW GO HOME YOU LITTLE SNOT-NOSED BRATS!" Thus, the mayor is a jackass, thus, the title.

Lloyd and Genis were booted out of the house kicking and screaming where they were about to leave, but Colette kicked the door down and ran after them. "WAIT YOU ASSHOLES!" She then tripped and fell down the stairs, much like a slinky. "Oops tee hee sorry!"

"What are you apologizing to us for? You're the freaking dumbass." Lloyd said.

"Waaaaaaaaah… I'm sorry!" Colette cried.

"Damnit Colette! Argh, never mind!" Lloyd rubbed his temples.

They all stood there like morons for a few minutes, Colette looked at them rather expectantly. "Well..?"

"Well what?" Lloyd asked.

Colette frowned. "It's… my birthday."

"We know." Genis said simply.

Colette frowned even more till it looked like a screwed up scowl. "Did you… get me anything?"

"No." Lloyd replied with a shrug.

That was the last straw and Colette's evil aura surrounded her. "YOU DIDN'T GET ME ANYTHING FOR MY SWEET-SIXTEEN! YOU GUYS SUCK!" She then started to cry again.

"Ha- Had I known that you were leaving so soon I would've made you cookies or something!" Genis stuttered and held his hands up in weak defense.

Colette turned her glare to Lloyd. "I-I might… make a… necklace? Yeah! A necklace! I'll give it to you tomorrow before you leave! I promise!" Lloyd waved his hands in the air.

Colette beamed and hugged the two into a BIG hug! "You guys are my bestest friends ever!" She then skipped up the stairs. "So long, suckers!" She then tripped on her face. "Oops tee hee sorry!" She entered the house with a bleeding forehead which will probably be treated by her creepy dad, Frank… who loves hotdogs.

Once she was safely inside, Genis high-fived with Lloyd. "Man, you were so convincing I actually thought you were going to make her something!"

"What do you mean? Of course I'm going to make her a necklace. I promised." Lloyd said.

"… Really?"

"Nah, of course not! Got you good, didn't I?"

Okay, now I think that's WAY too mean of me. I would be upset too if nobody got me anything for my sweet-sixteen, no matter how much they hated me. I don't REALLY hate Colette, only at certain parts in the game. Plus it might screw up the plot a bit. Let's adjust this a bit…

They both laughed merrily for a few minutes then stopped.

"Maybe you should at least BUY a necklace? I mean a promise is a promise, plus she won't go all evil on us." Genis suggested.

"I guess. I'm on my way home now so I can buy one on the way I suppose." Lloyd said.

"Can I… go part of the way with you?" Genis asked. "I want to meet with a friend."

"… You have friends?" Genis glared at him. "Yeah… of course you do. I meant, sure you can go with me."

"Okay, but can we stop by my house to get something first?" Genis asked.

"You mean like a weapon?" Genis glared at him again but Lloyd wasn't fazed this time. "No, I really mean it." Genis kicked him in the shin. "OW! Come on, it's a ball on a freaking stick!"

So they walked, rather Lloyd limped, to Genis' house where Genis rummaged around in the cupboards for something. Lloyd, being the nosy little boy he is, looked through the bookshelves.

"Wow, these books look pretty difficult. Does the Professor always read stuff this hard?" Lloyd asked in awe.

Genis glanced over and smacked his forehead. "Lloyd… those are my old ABCs books from when I was a baby…"

Lloyd blushed then opened a book. "A is for Apple… well I'll be damned…"

"Get over here Lloyd!" Genis snapped and Lloyd abandoned the 'challenging' book to see what the elf wanted. "I got some cooking materials for sandwiches to replenish our strength. Apple Gels are expensive and don't grow on trees you know." He then gave Lloyd a hard serious look. "You know how to make a sandwich… right?"

"Of course!" Lloyd took the simpler ingredients and explained the process as he performed it. "First you take the bread, and then you put peanut butter on one side. Next you take another piece of bread and put jam on it. Then you put the pieces together so that the jam and peanut butter face outside and start licking it all off." In a disgusting show of action, Lloyd began licking off all the jam and peanut butter making a huge mess. Genis cringed and shaded his face with his arm. "Last you just throw the bread away!"

Genis stared at Lloyd as he threw the bread over his shoulder looking WAY too proud of himself. "You're a freaking genius, you know that?"

"Oh wow, really!"

"NO YOU DUMBASS! How could you possibly fail at making a sandwich!"

Lloyd's twig sword left its sheath in a split second and was under Genis' chin. "You want to repeat that, Shorty?" Genis knew better than to mess with Lloyd's evil personality so he shook his head timidly. "Atta' Boy."

So after packing up, they skipped down the yellow brick road and stopped by the store Halo, where they bought some more crap and a necklace, then went towards the south exit to see the sentries yelling at something. One of them sensed Lloyd's presence with his awesome chi abilities and turned around.

"Lloyd, get your Protozoan out of here. He's not only scaring the villagers, but he's blocking the exit with his big ass!" He shouted.

Lloyd flared back. "How many times do I have to tell you! Noishe is NOT a freaking Protozoan or Arshis or any other big names you call him! He's hybrid cross between a rabbit and a squirrel AKA a dog!" He then turned on Noishe. "How many times do I have to tell you not to block the entrance with your big ass Noishe!"

Genis glared at Lloyd. "He was probably waiting for you! Don't be mean to your Arshis!"

"DOG!" Lloyd shouted in his face. Noishe began to whine. "Oh, don't you give me that lip mister, or else… NO DINNER!" Noishe's eyes widened and he played dead. "Good boy, now we're making progress. Let's go then!"

"Wait!" The sentry called and they all looked at him. "You're going through the Iselia Forest, right?"

"I go through there everyday you moron. Shouldn't you realize that by now?" Lloyd snapped.

"Well… I just wanted to make sure. Just make sure you don't go near the Human Ranch on the way or lead your Pro… Dog near it either." He warned. "You don't go there do you? We depend on that Non-Aggression Treaty. I like my legs the way they are thank you."

"Of course not, right Genis?" Lloyd looked down at Genis who had an expression that was a cross between D: and O.o. "That's what I thought. And by the way Mr. Sentry, Noishe has a name you know? But if it had been up to me, I would've named him Squirbit."

So after a long silence, Lloyd and Genis mounted Noishe, the most efficient source of transportation around, and headed towards the Iselia Forest.

Aisu: Love it? Hate it? Suggestions? Please leave a review!

Next chapter is the Iselia Forest and the Desian Ranch! Lloydie gets a bit cheeky in that one. XD; I'll update this again on Wednesday since that's my birthday! Whee! And I got out of my writer's block for ToH and finished Chapter 14! YAY!

Once I'm finished the chapter of ToI I'm working on, I think I'll take a bit of a break from writing for a while. But I'll still update ToH Friday since I have lots of backup chapters!