Author's Notes: Freaky concept, but it makes sense...this is a oneshot

Lisps of the Office

"Okay, is everybody here?" Michael Scott asked, looking around the small conference room where his pathetic employees were cramped, giving him the nasty eye.

He nodded. "Alrighty then, uh, I guess the reason I called everybody here is to, uh, just…let me see…just…"

"Waste our time?" Stanley demanded.

"You know what? No! No, no, I'm just going to tell you something that might be a little hard to understand…"

Michael scratched his chin and sat down on the corner of the desk at the front of the room. He opened the drawer and pulled out a bunch of pamphlets. Making eye contact with each of futureless dummies, he gave them each a pamphlet.

"It's okay to be gay?" Kevin read out loud, slouching in his seat.

"Is someone in the office gay?" Pam asked.

"No…yes…maybe…you know what? I'll just have to tell you the whole story."

Michael looked at Stanley and shook his head. "A crossword puzzle, Stanley? Really, I thought you would know better."

"I do. I'm just tryin' to fill my time while you tell your story."

Michael walked down through the aisle of chairs to Stanley, where he grabbed the crossword puzzle away from him, allowing his hand to ever-so-slightly-but-not-quite touch Stanley's.

Stanley looked up at Michael, disgusted, and rolled his eyes.

"Okay, anyway…now if you read the title of these brochures, it says, 'it's okay to be gay', which it totally is. Um…hmm…this is kinda hard to explain…well…okay, here goes. There've been some…let's say rumors…about me circulating the office lately. Rumors about why I haven't settled down with a wife and kids and all that crap. Rumors saying that I was…I don't know…GAY!"

Dwight shrieked and stood up. "I didn't believe those rumors, not for one second!"

"No one even told you," Jim said, slapping a 'kick me' sign on Dwight's back.

Dwight felt around his back while saying, "Yeah, but I heard people telling rumors to other people, and to be honest, I don't think this office is as productive with these sort of rumors going around."

"What are you saying?" Michael asked.

"That it's okay to be gay!" Dwight replied, shouting and then walking to the front next to Michael.

"Because you're gay?"

"Umm…" Dwight answered.

A look of horror spread across Angela's face and she stared into Dwight's eyes. Dwight, who's eyes were on Michael.

"Actually," Michael coughed, "Dwight and I have something to tell you…"

"We do?" Dwight demanded.

Michael gave him a look.

"We do," Dwight said.

"Well, it's like this…Dwight and I…are…partners…"

"What?" Stanley demanded. "So you two are both the boss?"

"So we have to listen to Dwight, too?" Phyllis added.

"No, no, no. Dwight's not the boss as well…what I meant was…partners partners."

"Like, so, you're having a relationship with Dwight?" Kelly asked.

Michael nodded with his head down.

"So that's where you were all those time when you said you had work to do!" Angela cried. "You meant work work! Work with Michael!"

"But you guys are just friends, right? That kind of relationship?" Oscar asked.

Michael looked up. "No. We're gay."

Everyone was silent…

Epilogue:

After long hours of taking in the fact that Michael and Dwight were gay, Ryan the temp ambled in to Michael's office holding some resignation papers.

"I need you to sign these," Ryan said.

"Okay," Michael answered, taking a pen and staring deeply into Ryan's eyes. "Here you go..."

"Thank you."

Michael nodded. "So where will you be going?"

"Probably New York,"

"Okay...Call me,"