Disclaimer: I Don't Own Tales of Symphonia or Any of Its Characters

Aisu: Thank you ShadowofUndine, StarlightDemonFiresong and brandy mallory for reviewing last chapter along with all the anonymous people who simply read the story.

This may be my last update for this story for a while. I have to type more chapters for this and couple that with school coming up AND my other story. Ah well, what happens, happens.

By the way, the quote last chapter by Genis was from Space Jam, one of my favorite Loony Tunes movies growing up. Daffy Duck says it. XD;

This chapter, Lloyd goes through the Renegade Base WITHOUT his Sorcerer's Ring, PLUS another twist! Also, I've always wondered if anyone was curious as too HOW I was planning on doing the Yuan scene when Yuan was tiny... o.o; That's this chapter as well.

ENJOY!

NOTE: This fic contains many swears (Except the F-word which will be beeped), some unnecessary violence, very OOC characters, SPOILERS and more. I've warned you, so now you can't hold me responsible for anything that may affect your health! HAH!

- X -

Chapter 9: Foolish Swordsmen and Yuan

Our dear split personality swordsman was sleeping soundly, letting out an obnoxious snore every so often. Now Lloyd had a bad habit of rolling off his bed in his sleep and then never getting back to sleep. That's why he began sleeping with his swords still attached to his belt so that he would never roll. But for some reason, he managed to roll right off the bed and shout loud curses upon impact.

"Ow! Goddess –beep-ing damnit! Why the hell does that keep on happening!" He growled and climbed weakly back onto the grungy old bed… wait. "Wasn't I in Triet earlier? Genis, where are we?" He looked around to find no sign of the small elf, but iron bars instead. "Damnit, did I kill ANOTHER innocent pedestrian?"

"I can't get the damn paint off my pants!" Lloyd heard some other voices and poked his head through the bars to see what was going on.

"Ned, you should go get those dry cleaned. I'll guard the kid till you're done." Another Desian suggested.

"Whatever, I don't even see the point. He can't escape execution since we've confiscated everything he owns and finally got rid of those arm's length switches. I don't even know why we had them in the first place." Ned said with a sigh.

"HEY! You can't kill me! I'm the only one people can control without being half-assed! Genis sucks with his stupid ball on a stick, Colette sucks and gets distracted easily, and I'm NOT letting Kratos steal my role and wear my clothes! He runs weirdly too!" Lloyd shouted and pointed from his cell catching everyone's attention. Am I the only one who finds it absolutely hilarious to watch Kratos run around in battle?

"What the hell? When did he wake up?" Ned asked.

"Who knows who cares? I'll take care of him; you just worry about getting your pants cleaned. Besides, Lord Botta is calling you." The Desian said and walked over to Lloyd's cell. "You can't escape since we took all your stuff, so why do you even bother making a fuss?"

Lloyd grinned. "Because I can do this!" He reached out to the control panel but nothing happened. "Okay… well… I can do this!" He raised his hand to set the Desian on fire with the Sorcerer's Ring, but of course Genis had it. "Err… Ah screw it!"

He reached through the bars, grabbed the Desian and put him in a headlock against the bars. After that, he ripped off his helmet- GASP! INSERT CENSOR! Anyways… then he began to give the Desian a hard noogie.

"NO! MY CHILDHOOD IS FLASHING BEFORE MY EYES!" It really hit him after Lloyd pulled an atomic wedgie on him. "OKAY, OKAY! I'LL LET YOU OUT! THE PAIN!" He smashed the control panel with his foot, opening the bars, then ran away crying, underwear streched over his head. Lloyd's a regular bully, isn't he?

"Okay, now to find my stuff and get the hell out of here- Ooh! More stuff!" He turned to his right and spotted a Save Circle and a chest.

He pulled the same maneuver as the previous Desian and smashed the panels with his boots. That done, he saved, not wanting to repeat last time, and opened the chest.

"A… Beast's Hide? Why the hell would Desians want these..?" Nonetheless, Lloyd took it as well.

He then went through the basic plan. "Now, if I was a Desian, I wouldn't leave a prisoner's equipment just lying around in an obvious place like next to the cells. So… I would have to look all over the base." Now, that would've made perfect sense, but Namco doesn't think so and put it in that specific area.

Of course, the moron went right by his equipment in the chest and continued down the hallway. Oh my, how's he going to get out of this mess without his swords? Right at that moment, two Desians, who came to check up on Lloyd, came through the door and spotted him.

"P-Prison break!" One called weakly. Why he hesitated, I have no clue.

Lloyd gave a battle cry and tackled them, beating them up with punches and kicks. Who needs swords when you've got fists of steel and iron-toed boots? The Desians screamed and shouted like little babies till they were finally unconscious. The… not-so-swordsman-like-at-the-moment swordsman got up and dusted off his clothes then did a little victory dance like he did after every battle.

"HAH ALL RIGHT!" Lloyd shouted merrily and swung around his arms like he would if he DID have his swords then. If anyone was there, they would have thought he was nuts.

Continuing through the door, after the alarm was tripped, he saw a large machine in the middle of the room and a teal stand thing in front of it. Lloyd walked up to the stand and went to see the shiny orb of light floating just above it. Being the curious little boy he was, he went to touch it and got a huge electrical shock that stunned him completely and he fell to the ground unconscious. The Beast Hide he had found though conveniently fell on top of him, covering him completely. At that moment, two more Desians burst into the room.

"Huh? I thought that kid in red would be in here." One muttered and began walking through the room. "It IS the only place he could run to from the prison room."

The other was walking around when he noticed the hide. "I like the idea of the fur rugs in this room though. They look so realistic when they're stuffed." He pointed out the rug Lloyd was lying underneath.

"It's definitely a nice change from metal and crap." The other agreed and went to go back through the door. "What the, why won't it open?" Lloyd was beginning to stir at this time.

"We changed the security, remember? Now we have robots that somehow manage to open them when they're on top of the panels." The other explained and they went off to get the robots.

Lloyd now fully regained consciousness, but flailed when he felt the hide covering him… till he remembered it was in fact the Beast's Hide he found. Chuckling at his mistake, he peeked out from under the hide to see the Desians grabbing robots from the huge machine. He decided to perform a typical stunt, like seen on many Sylvester and Tweety episodes, and crawl along the floors, hide still covering him. The Desians came around the corner carrying the giant robot when they spotted the 'hide' crawling along the floor somehow.

They both stared at each other, and then back at the hide which had mysteriously stopped. "Did that thing just move..?"

"… It was probably just our imaginations…" The other muttered. He must've not have been bright because it had moved at least halfway across the room.

When they went back to place the other robot, Lloyd began crawling along the floor again till he reached the door and began scratching at it like an animal would if it wanted in. The Desians had placed the second robot finally and went to the door, only to scream when they saw the 'hide' scratching at the door.

"IT'S ALIVE!" One screamed and they hugged out of fright.

"Go kill it!" Two ordered.

"Are you kidding me! You do it!"

Lloyd grinned widely when the door finally opened and crawled on through, leaving the Desians to scream helplessly. He yelped though when he was almost face-to-face with an activated robot glaring at him through the lens.

"UNIDENTIFIED SPECIMIN LOCATED… PENDING… PENDING… PENDING…" Lloyd tried to keep as still as possible as the robot decided. "… PENDING… PENDING… PENDING… PENDING… PENDING…" He was getting a little annoyed with all the waiting. "… PENDING… PENDING… PENDING… PENDING… PENDING…"

"Screw this, I'm out of here." The swordsman muttered as he got up and walked away, Beast's Hide in hand.

"… PENDING… PENDING… PENDING… BEEN PENDING FOR TOO LONG. PROCEEDING WITH SELF-DESTRUCTION. SELF-DESRUCTION IN 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… SCREW IT. I'M QUITTING."

Lloyd took a right turn and found a large room filled with shiny buttons and a vending machine of sorts. "Oh good, I'm starving!" He walked up to the vending machine and began looking through the menu. "Not even a stinking sandwich! That sucks!" He kicked the machine before turning around and finding a chest. "Ooh! More treasure- A Beast's Fang..?" Nonetheless, he took the fang and stuffed it in he pocketed for later.

He walked over the control panel and began pushing random buttons. "… Nothing! This place is SO BORING!" He walked out in a huff.

After the door closed, a large flying apparatus elevated from the panels on the floor and it began to rev up. It flew straight into the wall and shattered into pieces. This all happened because Lloyd ordered it to, hehe. Our dear split personality swordsman got a hilarious idea suddenly. He stuffed the fang in his mouth so it would look like he had a giant tooth and tied the hide around his neck like a cape. He then ran around making growling sounds like some kind of lunatic. The Desians were too disturbed to do a thing about the boy and the robots ended up self-destructing from pending for too long. Lloyd saw something shiny in one Desian's hand so he snatched it without any protest and continued on his way to another room.

"This tooth is starting to hurt…" He grumbled and ditched the disguise.

The shiny thing he had grabbed before was beginning to glow as he approached a carved spell circle in the floor. He tossed the object into the carving which exploded with light, turning into a Save Circle. He stepped onto the circle and saved like usual before going to check out the rest of the room. There was another machine in the middle like in the previous rooms, but this one was made in the floor. It was a large box-like thing, Gamecube to you guys, and small red, blue and green disks surrounded the outside of the glass covering. He decided to go look at the computer panel nearby and read what it had to say. Of course, he only read a small part of it because reading made his brain hurt.

"Align the disks so that they determine which way you proceed. On the platforms use an electrical force to turn the disks whichever way you want: 45 degrees, 90 degrees or 180 degrees…" Lloyd mumbled, stopping there. "If I want to leave, then I need to find the Entrance. But what do I use as an electrical force?"

Lloyd stepped on top of one of the platforms and stared at the tall pillar of glowing lights. He got a spontaneous brain blast just then and took out his Beast's Hide. He began to rub the furry side on his hair, building up a static charge and whipped the hide out so it would touch the pillar. The small charge was JUST enough to make it react and the floor began to rotate around the glass. Now THAT was just clever! I'd like to see you guys come up with something better when you don't have your Sorcerer's Ring or equipment and only the accessories provided!

"Holy crap! So that's how this works!" He thought out loud.

He experimented with the pillars for a while till the computer announced that the Entrance was unlocked. He went through the door and continued to walk along, expecting the other door to automatically open like the others, but ended up running into it.

"What the hell! Why didn't it open!" He kicked the door for good measure and stomped back to the previous room. Not before opening the Treasure Chest and grabbing the Magical Cloth. "Seriously, why would Desians want with these things?"

He continued to toggle the pillars in the previous room till the Computer announced that the Control Room was unlocked. He walked through that door till he came across a break off in the path. Desians were heading towards him from straight ahead so he dove off to the left and ran through the door.

He continued to pant till he sighed in relief. "Man that was close…"

"And just who the hell are you?" An ominous voice echoed through the room causing Lloyd to stiffen.

He got confused though when he saw no one at all in the room. "Who said that?"

It was, in fact, everybody's favorite conscience mini Yuan, but since he was a conscience, no one could see him except Kratos. He realized this as he stood at the height of Lloyd's first boot buckle and flew away. "J-Just a second!"

Lloyd stood there, patience wearing thin, till someone finally appeared from behind the desk in the room. He had what appeared to be blue yarn for hair that was tied behind his head with blue fringe covering half his face. The other half revealed his reddish brown eye. The rest of his body though had armor that resembled mini Yuan's identically as well as the large cape.

"Let's try this again. And just WHO the hell are you?" He demanded.

"Mommy always told me not to give my name out to strangers!" Lloyd shouted.

"This coming from someone who is completely unarmed like a dumbass. Then I'll have to force it out of you!" He raised his open palm and a small tube appeared from his sleeve. It charged up into an electric ball of… well… electricity.

The door burst open just then, revealing Botta and some Desian lackeys. "Sir, the Chosen's group has broken into the facility." Botta stated.

"Hey, you're the Desian that attacked us at Martel Temple!" Lloyd pointed accusingly.

"Could you please refer to me as Botta instead of a Desian, Lloyd? I rather hate Desians." Botta requested politely.

"But you're-" He was cut off as the blue-haired man smacked him aside.

"Botta, I'm going to get out of here before he sees me. I want you to take care of the intruders." He ordered then looked at Lloyd. "Lloyd, the next time we meet, you better have your equipment with you. We left it beside your cell for Goddess' sake!" He sighed in exasperation and left through another door.

Once in the other room, the man tugged his blue hair off revealing auburn locks. "Did you really have to dress me up as you, Yuan?"

Yuan scowled. "I'm just trying to follow the script! Besides, no one can see me except for you! But he could hear me somehow…"

Kratos got dressed back into his purple armor. "I can't believe he left his stuff in the prison… Stall them so I can get his swords and come back as if nothing happened."

"Fine." Yuan shrugged and flew through the doors once more where everyone was now entering and Lloyd was being backed into a corner.

"Lloyd! Are you okay!" Genis asked.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt?" Colette asked. Geez Colette, didn't Genis just ask that?

"I thought you guys hated me?" Lloyd blinked in surprise. "Oh wait, Colette doesn't. Never mind, where's Mr. Hot Stuff?"

"Kratos got separated from us a while back. I don't know where he is." Genis shrugged.

Botta appeared to be in deep thought as mini Yuan whispered in his ear. He nodded and Yuan flew off to find Kratos.

"Let us dual like civilized gentlemen!" Botta said and whipped out a large sword.

"Civilized? You call THAT civilized when I don't even have a freaking weapon!" Lloyd shouted in outrage.

"Here Lloyd, borrow one of my chakrams!" Colette offered one of her rings to him. "YOU BETTER NOT BREAK IT!"

Lloyd took it hesitantly. Botta first sent two lackeys on them while he stood on the sidelines like Yuan had ordered him to. Genis went straight to casting while Lloyd and Colette dove in. Colette skipped along and threw her chakram in a random direction which broke a vase causing Botta to wince. Lloyd then threw his and it sliced through a bunch of paperwork. Botta now felt like he was soon to be six-feet under. Genis, for once, was the only one who did any damage as he cast a quick Fireball spell. Lloyd ditched the whole chakram idea and resorted to his old habits: Beating the crap out of them with his fists. He did so on the first Desian he saw.

Kratos finally burst into the room panting and saw the sight before him; Genis casting, Colette collecting her chakrams and Lloyd on top of a Desian punching him till he was done for. "Lloyd, here's your equipment!"

Lloyd got up just in time to catch his swords and bag. He grinned maliciously at the other Desian that was being sliced by Genis' Wind Blade attack before giving a battle cry and going after him. Botta saw that Kratos was back and entered the fray, swinging his large sword like a madman. Kratos went after him though and began matching swords with him. Lloyd soon finished off the Desian he now had beaten to a pulp and went after Botta, who had knocked Kratos to the ground. He was about to finish off the mercenary when Lloyd thrust one of his swords out to block then slashed with the other.

"I am SO sexy right now." Lloyd grinned before he was conked in the back of the head by one of Colette's chakrams.

"You are SO pathetic right now." Kratos countered before getting up and attacking Botta once more.

Botta ran at Genis, after receiving a Fireball to the back, and the elf ran away screaming and dove under Yuan's desk. Botta, out of reflex, accidentally chopped the desk in half and froze stiff, Genis crawling away once the coast was clear. The half-elf could literally FEEL his boss' death glare in the back of his head.

"BOTTA YOU –beep-ING IDIOT!" Yuan roared as he flew straight at his second-in-command. "YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG THAT –beep-ING PAPERWORK TOOK ME!" Electricity swirled around his miniscule form which caused Botta to wail in fear.

There was a very graphic and violent scene that followed, only seen by Kratos, but endured by Botta. To the rest, it was like he was getting VERY unlucky, being struck by thousands of volts of lightning every five seconds. Plus all those bloody gashes just appeared magically on him. How odd. Finally, Botta gained the strength to run away crying, leaving behind his broken sword. Yuan panted furiously with raspy breaths before landing back on Kratos' shoulder as if he hadn't torn Botta a new one. Kratos only stared blankly ahead where the scene took place, scarred for life. He never knew a double-edged sword could fit so far up someone's-

The door opening cut off his thoughts as Raine sauntered in. She spied around the room till her eyes targeted on her brother and she glomped him immediately. "Genius, I missed you so much!"

"It's Genis!" The elf cried in his sister's death grip. "And you just saw me five minutes ago!"

"I know, but I missed you anyways! Have you been washing behind your ears?"

"… I have ears?"

"Yes, they're just hidden by your messy hair. When was the last time you combed your hair, Genius?"

"Raine…" The elf whined.

Poor Genis was saved though when Raine spotted the Exsphere on Botta's abandoned sword. "Hey, isn't this an Exsphere?"

"Yeah, I think it is." Lloyd said as he stared at the said object.

Raine turned and gasped. "Lloydie! Genius told me what happened. How could you just drag him along with you like that?"

"I didn't drag him along! He followed me like a lost puppy!" Lloyd protested. Wow, he knows similes.

"Not the way I heard it…" Raine muttered as she glanced back at her innocent brother. You could just see the halo and angel wings… or in Lloyd's case, the devil horns and tail.

"To answer your question, yes this is an Exsphere; now let's go back to Triet already!" Kratos snapped as he headed for the door; eager to get away from the gory mess in the room.

"But you have an Exsphere too!" Lloyd called.

"We'll talk about that ONCE WE'RE IN TRIET DAMNIT!" Kratos snarled and they all left the room, except for Colette.

"I EXIST!" She shouted, having been ignored for a long period of time.

- X -

Aisu: There you have it! A screwed up version of the Escape the Renegade Base scene. It's hard to write about Lloyd when he's all alone, but I think I did alright.

Love it? Hate it? Suggestions? Please leave a review! This'll be the last update for this story for a while so I hope you enjoyed it! Till next update!