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Chapter 14:Turned

Buffy pounded on the door to the crypt, the sunlight nearly blinding her eyes. Although she was a mortal again, the physical reaction to the sunlight after being cut off from it completely was overwhelming. Harsh and abrasive, the sunlight had become poisonous. The door swung open. Buffy entered with her stake in hand. Who knew what had happened. Perhaps her time as a vampire had been a spell; perhaps it had never taken place.

"Buffy!" Spike cried upon seeing her, wrapping his arms around her. "What the bloody Hell happened to you last night! You vanished into thin air and now your back, but you're all. . .warm!"

Confusion flooded Buffy's mind as she tried to come up with an answer for Spike. She was, obviously, human again, but how? It had to have something to do with Angel; she had that much covered, but the rest. . .

"I don't know. I woke up on my basement floor . . . and the sun was shining on me."

Spike looked down, horrified by the changes a day could make. No sodding way they could make it work now, could they? Sure, she'd probably try it for awhile, she was the loyal type, but she'd get bored of him. He'd never be awake during the day and eventually she'd want to go into the light. Have a nice wedding with some all American chap under a nice silken tent. Drusilla was still the only destiny he had and Red would probably be pissed to see him again after his fickle behavior towards her.

"You could just re-vamp me, right? I mean, whatever happened to me last night . . . it could be reversed."

Spike was keen on that idea for about 2 seconds. There were too many snags in that cloth. She had admitted that she wasn't cut out for vamp work, that slaying was still her gig. Somehow, even without a soul, he had really fallen for her; he couldn't let her give up her identity to become a being that she had a biological need to kill. He gently kissed her head and whispered, "shit. I don't know what to do about this one."

Although he had no soul, Spike realized there was more causing problems for him than just Buffy's issues with vampness. He had never been good at it, either, really. Physically he had been powerful enough to deal with any enemy that challenged him. He had come up against a couple of slayers and Buffy had been the first one he couldn't kill. Sometimes he could read people's emotions so well that the kill was even easier. Emotions were the real problem- ever since he had been forced to kill his mother, ever since he had witnessed the change that had taken her over when she lost her soul- something hadn't been right.

There had been other conflicts that bothered him, too. Like when he killed Cecily's daughter, something ripped at him. Killing a child, sinking his teeth into her innocent body- somehow, that part had left him fine. He was a vampire, she was meat. It was biological. The vengeance part, the knowledge of the pain it would cause that stuck-up bitch Cecily- that had actually caused him pain. It had always killed him to see people grieve. Those damn humans- Spike couldn't quite give them up. He didn't ever want to kill them immediately, he missed humanity. The little quirks they had, their insecurities- vampires were the same way. The real difference between the undead and the living wasn't their pulse- it was their honesty. Vampires could never admit how sodding full of humanity they were.

Wishing he could sigh, Spike realized what the answer to their dilemma was. Maybe she could go to the powers that be and order them to restore his humanity. Maybe there was a way they could both be fulfilled.

Angel looked up at Elloway.

"I guess it's done?"

"Your slayer has been restored."

Angel glanced around thoughtfully, trying to decide if he had handled things effectively. Buffy was human again. That was good for the world. She had been fixed without carnage, without fuss. Somehow, it felt wrong, like he should have handled it in a more "Angel" type way. Doyle and Cordelia hadn't been involved much and would probably be on their way back to L.A. as he was talking to Elloway.

"Elloway, I just had a thought."

"Yes, Angel."

"Your name isn't very ancient. Is there a reason?"

"I change it periodically to fit my need for mystery. You, above all people, should understand how important a name really is, Angelus."

Angel smiled at the reference to his evil persona. A name could change the very core of who you were, that was true.

"Touché," Angel answered as he quickly exited the building.

Faith and Angel sat quietly for awhile, each one trying to come to terms with their past involvement with each other. Faith hated Angel for rejecting her, for trying to save her for being a killer- but she also hated herself in his presence. He was good and the love of Buffy's life. He had turned Buffy back into the powers- well, figured out how to get her turned back, anyway. He was sitting here beside her, not asking any questions. When he heard from Elloway that Faith was good, he asked for no proof from her. She didn't have to redeem herself in his eyes.

When Angel looked at Faith, he remembered how she had figured out a way to kill him and how close it had come to working. Scarring on Buffy's neck would forever document the terrible act that rescued him. He could still taste her blood. The moment her blood entered his mouth- that was the moment things were really changed forever between them. It was Faith's fault that he could never trust himself near Buffy again.

Faith had been forgiven so many times, if she would have just surrendered her evil ways, she could have been taken in again in an instant. Angel understood what happened to a person the first time they took another life and, although it had been an accident, Faith had died inside when she killed that human. Evil, good, it didn't matter what he had been- he had been alive and, because of her stake, he wasn't ever going to be again.

It was her first casualty.

Angel was the first to speak. "I'm not going to judge you. You have people to make amends to and sometimes it takes forever to do that, Faith. Your life hasn't been easy and not everything that has happened to you has been far. We all have to make choices, though and you chose evil over good. I don't trust you, Faith, but I forgive you. Now you need to forgive yourself and move on."

"You saved Buffy. There was a time you had almost saved me," she said, her eyes filling with tears as she remembered how Wesley and those pompous, cruel, lazy watchers gathered her up, dehumanizing her, killing yet another part of what was fragile and child-like within her. "What I did to you guys was pretty whack. I can't excuse it- it is what it is. I'm sorry, though. I want to do good now."

Angel looked at her, sitting there, truly as innocent as a child. Her eyes sparkled, she was hopeful. What had been killed inside her? It wasn't dead, it had only been asleep.

Up on a hill, there lay a body, surrounded by growing wildflowers. There were daisies flowing gently in the breeze. They were like Faith, clean and white. Redeemed. They were often overlooked, thought of as a waste of perfectly good gardening space. Most people avoided staring at them, taking them in. Most people lost the impact of how beautiful a daisy really could be. Yellow in the center, they were lively and bold; they were full of laughter. White petals around them symbolized purity.

Daisies are children- but the purity of these daisies were splattered by the very red, very passionate blood of Riley Finn.