Yes, this is my first Fic…About Calleigh and Ryan! They're so cute together

Original I wrote the story in German…But Cinegirl and Dutchie from Talk CSI translated it…(Thanks, by the way again- love ya 333 )

So….here's it!

Obviously

- R -

Perhaps it was this very short embracement - for just a second – after he came near being run over by this damned truck while working on a crime scene.
Perhaps it was her relieved smile afterwards, or her huge, bright green eyes, which glowed at him in this particular kind. Or it was her glittering, long blonde hair, blowing in the wind such as in the shampoo advertising. Ryan just doesn't know. He only knows that this moment had moved something inside him. Something…indescribable, weird, hot and crawly but anyway: terrific. It's scaring him.
Certainly he felt the same way some time ago. About more than three years ago he felt such intensive and it finished in a fiasco – a pure fiasco. He won't have such an experience again. Never and at no time! That's why he must not accept these feelings, has to eliminate them, because of his own private reasons.
However – he knows, he fools himself with pursuing this way. You can't forbid one's feelings. They are simply present and you can't actually avoid them. All you can do is trying to ignore and to forget them. And this is exactly what he has to do now.

Calleigh Dusquesne isn't interested in him. Well, not in this special way he wants her to be.
Sure, they're good friends and from the first moment when he came to the CSI as a newbie they hit it off with each other. He had seen her once before when he visited one of her seminars she gave and he was pretty impressed by her, always. He liked her!
But he liked her as a friend. Felt sympathy for her. Today it's still the same but somehow different, though. He just can't explain. She seems to be such a strong, self confident person, in everything she does. She is so… independent, does as she likes, takes over the reins. She is so different from most of the women he knows.

And since this moment he couldn't get her out of his head! Damn it! It must not be.
Why must this happen to him? Well, sure, it isn't that strange to fell…uhm…to conceive affection for a fellow member – look at Natalia and Eric! Although it isn't sure until now if they are together or not, so that doesn't truly count.

Ryan is in cleavage with his feelings.
The day where "it" happened he was sitting on his comfortable couch, alone, and watched TV. He stared at the screen under a spell but didn't notice anything of the shown film. He carries on a war. A war of thoughts. On the one hand there was a big: NO. On the opposite there was: And anyway, WHY NOT?

"That will never work. I don't have to hold out hope."

"Why?"

"Because that would be strange"

"What exactly you find strange? "

"Well, somehow, because…just…just because it's strange! "

"Yes, but why actually?"

"Well, because…just because!"

"Because"isn't an answer! "

"That's the way it is: strange. We are fellows!"

"So what ?"

"Well, these are weird circumstances"

"But why? It isn't that extraordinary! Look at Natalia and Eric!"

"That's something completely different!"

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"And what is different?"

"It is… just different."

"I see…"

"She doesn't want me in any case"

"How do you know?"

"It's the way it is!"

"Is there any reason to suppose this?"

"Yes. No. Well, I just know."

"Aha"

"Yes"

„But you're both good friends."

„Yes"

"There you are!"

"And that's final!"

„Why?"

„I told you!"

„I don't accept this answer."

„Okay, forget it. It's meaningless anyway."

While discussing with himself, turning every possibility over in his mind, he always could get mad. The consequences never changed: it can't work and he always feels worse! Shoot!
If he only could avoid her, but this isn't possible, for sure, because every day they are working together at a case.
He fears she could figure out, what he feels or that she finally does it. That wouldn't be well for him. He can't tell why he fears the discovery, but at that moment he just doesn't want her to know.

-C-

Perhaps she realized it when he began to stumble a bit during an interrogation as she entered the room and sat down besides him. Perhaps it was his awkward look as he fumbled nervously in his hair and mixed it up; or it happened while she was talking to Marc at the telephone , which whom she had a date that evening, and Ryan came in at the door, listening to the last words she spoke: "See you tonight, Marc, I'm looking forward to it!".
After this call Ryans' mood suddenly changed into real bad one...
Calleigh doesn't know the exact time when she first assumed that Ryan could have...well, more than friendly feelings for her.
Certainly she isn't sure of this matter for 100. She is only guessing, but time and again those moments return where she finds her assumptions verified. On other days, when she pays attention to it, nothing special happens and she simply forgets about it – until another moment attends. A moment where he looks at her with this special glance:
A faint smile surrounding his lips, his wide, dark eyes focus her attentive – realizing and admiring every motion she makes. When he becomes aware that she returns his look he turns into a shy guy and looks confused aside, his hands.

Calleigh doesn't know for sure if she should enjoy this feeling, apart from the question if she is right. On the one hand she really feels flattered; Ryan is a great and cute person, he is… somehow cuddly! Every time he looks at her with his sadly seeming – hush puppy! – eyes, she wants to lock him in her arms and hug him.
His hair is as dark as his eyes. He has a small mouth which seems to carry a hidden smile all the time and a very beautiful nose. Well, perhaps it sounds crazy to entitle a nose beautiful, but she can't think of another word for it.
Altogether: Ryan is a very friendly person; from the beginning she liked him, even if she first didn't acknowledge it to herself. It was because of Speeds' death and Ryan was his successor. The first time was very hard: Speed and she were the best friends and than suddenly he was shot on duty.

- C -

Otherwise she and Ryan just were colleagues at the CSI. Okay, perhaps a bit more than colleagues – sometimes they flirt a little while being at work and them both don't even realize it, not until they refocus on work again. At that point always an inner voice comes up in her mind and whispers: "What was THAT?"
But that means nothing! Ryan is just a good friend, nothing more; and if - theoretically - tender feelings will grow… oh well! This won't – can't – happen! Because…because that will never do. He is so much younger than she; okay, perhaps that's not the best argument because age doesn't matter when you love – everybody tells you. But for her it's something different; she also doesn't know why but she just can't imaging being together with Ryan. Hum, Ryan and Calleigh, Calleigh and Ryan. It sounds strange…
She decides just to ignore it as good as she can. She will move on as before, working and talking to him normally and – yeah, even flirting with him again, if circumstances permit.
It'll be his funeral, not hers.
Will it really?

"Would you please take this to Horatio?"

She handles him a sheet.

"What's that?"

He takes the paper and reads through the text, than facing her again with that look of inquiry.

"Horatio is just working at the case with that missing woman and this is the analysis of the stuff we found on her desk."

"Sure" he answers with low voice and smiles at her.

"I would do it myself but I have to call Marc again because of tonight."

She doesn't know why she said it. Why she said it this way. Perhaps she wanted to test him, but after speaking out this little sentence she realized that it was completely wrong.
Nevertheless Ryan just smiles a little confused, winkles irritated, stares at his hands in which he still holds the analysis-paper and looks back into Calleigh's eyes.
"See you." Than he leaves.
Is she wrong or did he really seem to be somewhat sad? She feels lousy. Why the hell did she tell him this? Does she want to hurt Ryan? Man, her guilty conscience makes her hate herself.

Next Chapter will follow at once (: