For the first time in the history of the Hogwarts Express, the compartments weren't filled with laughing, talkative kids but rather despondent young adults worried and saddened by the events that had passed. Any student who had held onto their innocence after the murder of Charlotte Blake and the attacks on Steve Nettles, Lily Evans, George Rogers and Mia Scott, had severed ties with it now.

Eleven year olds read the Daily Prophet like one may hold a mock seance with a torch under a white sheet. Fourteen year olds had their crushes pushed to the back of their minds worrying about their families who were outside the protection of Hogwarts. Seventeen year olds couldn't bring themselves to open a book because would they even have a future?

It couldn't be truer for their friend group who all sat in a compartment. Eight out of ten and it felt so empty to them.

Lily knew it shouldn't be like this. Lily should be sitting on James' lap for lack of room and Marlene should be telling them the latest gossip and Sirius should be trying to flick little balls of candy wrap into her mouth whilst she talked. Remus would try to freeze the little balls in mid air, missing repeatedly and hitting Peter's cheek 'by accident'. Peter would retaliate by summoning Remus' chocolate and Ella would roll her eyes and stuff herself more firmly into the corner to pretend to read harder. Alice would already be writing her first letter to Frank for the semester and Nate would actually be doing homework making the rest of them feel bad.

Instead, Lily, Sirius, Remus and Peter all seemed a little lost without James. Remus kept glancing at Lily and had anyone not been caught up in their own thoughts, they might've noticed. It irked Lily to no end. So she'd had a tiny, slight panic attack. It wasn't a big deal. A lot of people had them. She wasn't a precious flower that needed to be looked after.

Alice was missing, a gaping hole that exposed the truth of what was to come. The pain that riddled her life would riddle all their lives and they all knew it was only a matter of time. They would be safe at Hogwarts but they wouldn't be at Hogwarts forever. Six months never seemed so short.

Even if Alice were here, she'd be the living, breathing reminder and no one would know what to say to her, how to act around her. Her mum died and she wasn't supposed to. She was killed. Not even Lily knew what to say to make her feel better.

Marlene was giving Nate the cold shoulder, though no one but Ella knew why. The adventures of Nate and Mia Scott on New Year's Eve before everything else had happened was explained to Ella in excruciating detail by Marlene and had been replayed and analysed. They'd come to the conclusion that Nate did not want to kiss Mia, Ella a few hours sooner than Marlene but they got there nonetheless. Marlene, being Marlene, was in denial and didn't want to admit that the kiss bothered her and so she was ignoring him as much as she could ignore someone who lived next to her and went to the same school as her. Nate was obviously frustrated with this.

Adaline was reading a new article in the Daily Prophet by Rita Skeeter, reading out particularly sad stories about survivors, wondering how easily any of these people could have been one of her brothers.

Somehow, it left Ella to pull everyone out of their funk since Caradoc had woken up, she'd been left in relatively good spirits. Sirius had been keeping her company, too and somehow he just made things better. He didn't force her to talk about it like Marlene did but he wasn't afraid to ask the hard questions because he knew. Perhaps it was sad that Sirius had already been through something similar to what she went through and as much as she wished he'd been spared the hurt, these last few days it made her glad because Sirius Black was exactly what she needed.

So she rummaged through her trunk to the annoyance of everyone else in their train compartment and pulled out a bottle of firewhiskey.

"I was saving this for literally anything else but I think we need it," she said.

"We can't drink on the train," Lily said with no heart.

"Oh, sorry Head Girl," Ella rolled her eyes and took a swig, holding the bottle out to Lily. "Come on, Lily."

Lily sighed and took the bottle, not having really cared to begin with, having her own sip before passing it to Sirius.

The bottle circulated around the compartment but no one spoke except for the odd sentence. They found that this wasn't a time for talking but rather a chance to just be for eight hours until reality hit them again and the despair sunk in once more.

The funeral was huge. People Alice had never even met had shown up. People Alice's mum had never even met had shown up. People from the Ministry, people she'd solved cases for, journalists who'd mentioned her in more than one article, people who just wanted to pay their respects to the woman who was in charge of keeping them safe. Someone from the Ministry made a long speech about how brilliant Cressida Vance was. They talked about all the changes she made in the Auror Office and blah, blah, blah.

Alice hated it. She hated all of it. She hated the speech. She hated the people. She hated the Ministry flag draped over the coffin. Her mother would have hated this too but Alice didn't get a choice. Her mother certainly didn't. The only thing Alice hated more than the funeral was the house.

The house didn't feel like home anymore. It felt empty without Cressida Vance, which was the most ridiculous thing because Cressida was never a nesting kind of person. She never baked or cooked, she never set flowers on the tables or burned candles and yet the house felt different. It was stupid really. Cressida had been out of the house more times than she'd been in the house.

Cressida had taken exactly two years off, give and take a few holidays, from work. One year when Emmeline was born and one when Alice had been born. After that, Cressida worked and worked and worked only taking two weeks off during the summer and a week at Christmas.

Alice had loved that about her mother. She loved seeing her mum work and whenever she had gotten a promotion, there was always a celebration. When she'd come home with the news that she'd been made Head of the Auror Office, they had a party. But it wasn't one of those snooty parties with a bunch of pureblood families. It was their closest friends and family having a barbecue out in the yard with music and laughter.

Alice loved that her mother wasn't the type to flaunt her wealth. Born into and married into pureblood families meant she never had to work a day in her life but Alice's mum wasn't a socialite like so many pureblood women were. She worked and she did it with ambition, with goals and drive that was inspiring and almost unheard of for a woman in that time.

So her mum would have hated this over the top funeral that boasted so many flowers Alice could smell them from meters away.

The worst was when the coffin floated down into a muddy hole.

Was this it? She'd just be buried in the dirt and her body would be allowed to decay and turn to dust until she was nothing anymore with only a marble headstone to say she had lived and was loved. It wouldn't tell people about her lovely smile and her pretty laugh. Wouldn't tell people that Cressida Vance was not a woman you wanted to get angry because she was scary when she's mad. Wouldn't tell people about her hobby of collecting muggle items. Wouldn't tell people that she had almost ineligible handwriting that even her daughters struggled to read. All these little things that would be lost into the universe and Alice couldn't help but think, was this it?

Her body shook with suppressed sobs as she was forced to throw a handful of dirt on her mother's coffin and the realisation that this was it. She wasn't allowed her mother anymore. Her mother was gone.

Hi love,

Hope things aren't too boring at Hogwarts without me. The healers have me drinking this absolutely revolting potion but they say that it should slowly start giving me movement in my legs again so I'll only complain a little. They say by the end of next week I should be able to come back to school if the potion works like it should.

You'd find it rather interesting actually. It's all got to do with the nervous system. Basically, their tests concluded that the curse put my nerves in my leg asleep and this potion is meant to slowly nudge them awake. I don't know, Healer Lane seems to think it'll work and my dad does too. You should've seen him light up about the engineering of the potion, it was like someone had bought him the latest broom.

The food here still sucks. You'd think a hospital would have house elves doing the cooking but nope it's just some old, irritable witch who can't cook to save anyone's life, which is ironic really since we're in a hospital.

Mum and dad come everyday so it's not so boring, I suppose. Mum's found some of those muggle board games you mentioned over Christmas and after we got the hang of how to play, the healers had to quiet us down several times. You know, for a game without magic Monopoly can get quite heated. I suppose I'll have less time to play once you start sending me the school work I'm missing.

Love Always, your exceptionally handsome boyfriend, James.

Lily slumped at the breakfast table. Nine days until he'd be back.

Lily wasn't one of those girls who couldn't function without James but she couldn't help but feel that his absence meant something greater. Like it was eluding to all the things to come and it made her angry. They were only seventeen.

"Lils?" Sirius asked pointedly. "You okay?"

"Hmm?" she snapped out of her thoughts.

"I asked if you could pass the butter."

"Oh," she passed it to him and then, quietly, "Can I borrow your mirror?"

He frowned but dug it out of his pocket and handed it to her. She stood up immediately and he called after her, "You didn't eat anything!"

"Leave her," she heard Marlene tell him. "She's been like this ever since…" whatever else she said faded as Lily exited the hall. She entered an empty classroom and propped the mirror in front of her face.

"James." Nothing. "James." She bit her lip nervously. Why wasn't he answering? "James!"

She started bouncing her leg as the tears started falling. At this point she didn't even know why except that she hated this. All of it. She hated the war and people dying and getting hurt and for what? For nothing. It was all for nothing and she hated it.

"Lily?"

She grabbed the mirror hopefully but it only showed her her own reflection and the door clicked shut. "Oh, hello, Remus." She wiped her face with the sleeve of her robe and slipped the mirror into her pocket.

"Don't sound so disappointed," he joked. "He didn't answer?"

She shook her head. "Idiot's probably still sleeping or something."

"You okay?"

Merlin, people needed to stop asking her that. It was all anyone asked her. Marlene, Adaline, Ella. She could be doing nothing and one of them, without fail, would ask her. Yesterday, she got up to go to the bathroom and Marlene asked her. Like honestly, she wasn't okay but even okay people needed to use the damn bathroom.

"I'm fine," she said. "Let's go."

"Did you do the Charms homework? I had a bit of trouble with it."

"I'm doing it at lunch," Lily decided, not wanting to admit that she'd forgotten about the homework.

"It was hard," Remus frowned.

Lily shrugged. "Worse comes to worse, I'll get Sirius to help me. Come on, we'll be late for Transfiguration."

She opened the door and let Remus exit first before following.

"Oi, Evans," Sirius shouted across the Entrance Hall. She looked over in time to see an apple flying at her head. She caught it with a frown. "Thought you could use something to eat," Sirius said with a shrug at her annoyed look at having an apple thrown at her head.

Lily slipped it into her pocket and said, "Thanks."

Sirius frowned. "Did you talk to James?"

She shook her head and asked him if he could help her with Charms at lunch. He raised an eyebrow at Remus. "You still haven't done charms?"

She shook her head. "Are you going to help me or not?"

"Yeah, 'course."

"Brill," Lily said, walking ahead of them.

"You know, you're supposed to eat the apple!" Sirius called after her.

It was a quiet night in the common room, it usually was these days. Marlene had never experienced Hogwarts so quiet but it probably helped that over twenty kids had been pulled out. The half that hadn't been pulled out, knew someone who had been at the party or they themselves had been there. The other half were just stumbling about trying to figure out what to do next.

Marlene had noticed that Lily was taking the absence of James extremely hard. She barely ate, playing with her food instead of eating it. In class, she was completely spaced out and when she wasn't in class she was sitting by a window reading books and not even textbooks. Novels. Muggle novels. It was all very un-Lily. Especially now that all their teachers were increasing their work load.

Alice was a whole other story. Adaline would have to drag her out of the library ten minutes before curfew. It seemed the death of Mrs Vance had fuelled Alice's need to get into the Auror office and the night the Ministry announced that the new Head of the Auror Office would be Albert Fenwick, she stayed up all night studying Defence. The girls didn't know what to do with her as much as they knew what to do about Lily.

Marlene didn't even want to touch her own life. How could she when there was so much tragedy around and here she was having normal relationship problems? And so she and Nate sat up late at a table doing homework in the common room. They didn't have much to say about anything since New Year's Eve. Marlene kept insisting she was fine and Nate was convinced she wasn't. It left them at a standstill of awkward conversation and stunted intimacy that left them both feeling awful by the end of the day.

Nate's hand brushed hers as they both went to dip their quill into the ink pot and she flinched as though struck by a stinging spell. Nate tried to move past it, he did because he knew that Marlene would talk about it when she was ready and yet … She was infuriating him.

Ever since they'd been little, Marlene loved to talk about everything especially things she had problems with. She could lecture her brothers for years about the wet towels they leave in the bathroom and discuss with her mum for hours just how terrible the war was getting. Marlene was a talk until you get a solution kind of gal so it worried him endlessly that she didn't want to talk about this — or anything — and it infuriated him.

"Doesn't this game exhaust you?" he asked her tiredly. "My parents could've died and instead of being focused on my family, I've been worried about us."

"My feelings aren't a game," Marlene said, guarded. "And I've told you there's nothing to worry about."

"We both know that's a lie so what are you feeling? Or are we just supposed to continue like this until I guess why?" Marlene didn't, couldn't say anything. "Because if I have to guess, I'd say you're feeling insecure about Mia."

"You know what? Maybe I am because you kissed her!"

"She kissed me and I stopped her," Nate said calmly.

Marlene looked into his ocean blue eyes and swallowed. His eyes were so intense, she should be used to them by now. She'd grown up looking at those eyes but it was amazing the things that could take your breath away when you started to pay attention. Seven year old Marlene could care less about the colour of Nate McKinnon's eyes but seventeen year old Marlene would go to bed thinking about those eyes and that completely terrified her.

"You still let it happen!" she retorted after an eternity seemed to have passed.

"I couldn't help it — one minute we were talking the next second she kissed me. But you have nothing to worry about. I don't want Mia. I want you."

"I just, there's too many things happening," Marlene huffed. "I just, I need space, okay? I just need to think without you pestering me about what's wrong and without someone talking about the war and the deaths and You-Know-Who!"

"Space?" Nate laughed. "Marlene you hate having space! You talk everything to death so why don't you want to talk about this?"

"Maybe if I had space I could figure it out!" She turned and left and Nate let her go knowing it wouldn't be long before she would be back.

The thing was she did know. He was right she was insecure and she shouldn't be and she was trying. Trying not to do the thing that she does. Trying to get over it on her own because it was embarrassing to admit that she was insecure about a fifth year girl. She didn't want to prove her right. Didn't want to prove that she was neurotic and a nag.

So she'd keep everything in until the bad feeling passed and it would pass, if only he stopped asking her about it every five seconds.

"Your bruises have really come down," Sirius said, plomping into the seat next to Ella.

She shrugged. They had come down, barely noticeable if she put a little make-up on and her eye had opened up days ago. "So I asked Doc why he was at that party."

"And?"

"Said he couldn't tell me."

Sirius frowned, "He couldn't tell you why he was at a party?"

"I know. I want to ask Alice if she knows anything because Emmeline told me about Doc but … you know. Anyway," she changed the subject, "He said I can live with him full time after Hogwarts."

"After Hogwarts," Sirius mused, "It feels like it's all coming at once, doesn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Figuring out where to live, what to do, growing up."

"Have you figured it out?"

Sirius shrugged. "I'll see where the boys end up."

"What about a job?"

"Auror seems to make the most sense. How about you?"

"Something in the Ministry. I've been looking for job openings in the Prophet and found a few. I'm going to owl them for the application."

"Have you had your career meeting with McGonagall yet?"

She shook her head, "You?"

"Tomorrow."

"You know, I always imagined you and James doing something together and it's always either totally reckless and dangerous or so absurd and ridiculous like a joke shop."

"Maybe when we get bored of our reckless and dangerous job, aye?"

She laughed. "Is he getting better?" she asked referring to James.

"Wrote me this morning. Said he's got feeling in his upper thighs but he still can't move or feel anything below his knees. I think he's a little down … he can't really talk to Lily about it because she's been off since the attack and he doesn't want to add to it but he complains that he's bored. He's worried he's missing too much school for NEWT year." Sirius shrugged.

A book slammed shut and both Ella and Sirius looked up to see Marlene snapping something at Nate before stalking off to the girls' dormitory.

"Oh, she's going to be a nightmare," Ella complained.

"Did you tell her about your dad?" Sirius asked.

Ella nodded. "She wouldn't let it go so I told her a very short version. But the other girls don't know."

Sirius nodded. "Are you really going to live with your brother after Hogwarts?" he asked wrinkling his nose. He could not imagine living with his brother — hell they couldn't pass each other in the hallway without drawing their wands.

"It's better than living with my parents," she shrugged. "Anyway, I might end up rooming with Adaline. We're the only ones sans boyfriend."

"You think James and Lily will shack up?"

Sirius hadn't really given it much thought. In fact, he hadn't given it any. He'd always expected to live with James after Hogwarts but he supposed things had changed.

Ella shrugged. "Looks like it's going that way."

Remus stopped her as she was about head up to her dorm.

"Hey, do you want to head to the library tomorrow? I've been having trouble with potions."

"Oh," Lily said, her eyes widening slightly. "I haven't done the homework yet so I won't be much help."

Remus frowned. "We could do it together?"

"I don't really feel like doing potions homework."

"Lily, I know things with James … but you still have school to think about — your future!"

"You act like I'll have one," she hissed.

"Lily!" Remus said, truly shocked to his core.

"Let's face it, Moony," she said sighing, "It'll be a miracle if I come out of this war alive. The Minister of Magic, Remus, they murdered the Minister of Magic. And James can't even walk! Do you want to know how many students have left Hogwarts since New Years? Forty-three. And the Ministry," she sighed, "Instead of doing something to fight for our rights, are offering to smuggle us out of the country as though we don't belong here. As though we don't deserve to be fought for. Like we don't have the right." She breathed in shakily, blinking back the tears. "So no Remus, I don't give a damn about Potions homework."

Remus let her go without a fight as she climbed the stairs two at a time because everything she said was right. The wizarding world was thrown into chaos since Minchum declared war because now that it was official, Voldemort became bolder in his attacks and the Ministry was still running around like a headless chicken.

Millicent Bagnold bravely took up the position in a time where no one wanted to be Minister of Magic and new laws under new legislation titled, War Amendments 1978 were being made faster than the Prophet could print them. Laws that were meant to keep people safe. Curfews and potion ingredient restrictions. Diagon Alley now shut at four in the afternoon, shopkeepers forcing to close earlier than usual. Wizarding towns had Ministry patrols and anyone found out after curfew would have to volunteer at the Ministry as punishment.

The Ministry was offering to put protective spells around people's homes however it was on a request only basis and service was slow. The Ministry offered portkeys to wizarding Paris — Bagnold had been quick to announce that one. Azkaban was running out of cells.

Alastor Moody was quickly becoming the face of the Auror Office with the most amount of Death Eater arrests on record in the last week alone and the Prophet was never shy to publish his face on the front cover, perhaps to hide all the things the Ministry was doing wrong. But the gut wrenching news was there.

A portkey to Paris was hijacked whilst transporting twenty people — a mix of half-bloods and muggle-borns — and the Ministry has yet to find them. A family of five was killed the night before Ministry officials were to put protective charms around their home. The restriction on Potion ingredients meant that even the simplest of potions were almost as expensive as wands and St Mungo's was running out of supply. As the wizarding world was told to hide, shops shut down in wizarding London, boarded up and their owners retreating out of London where it was safer.

So Remus let her go without a fight and instead sat down opposite Sirius and Peter by the fireplace and declared, "I'm worried about Lily."

"Why?"

"She hasn't started studying for NEWTs." To put it lightly.

"It is five months away," Sirius drawled a hint of teasing on his voice.

"Lily always starts light revision for exams after Christmas break but we've been back a week and I haven't seen her in the library once," Remus sighed, "I don't think she's even doing her assignments." Or her homework.

"Why do you know so much about Lily's study schedule?" Peter wrinkled his nose.

"Because we usually study together."

"It's official," Sirius announced, "James has corrupted Lily."

"I don't think he's corrupted her … I think she's just letting her worry of James eclipse everything else." Among other things like an existential crisis.

"All right so tell her you want to start studying," Peter suggested.

"I did," Remus frowned, "She brushed me off."

"Ask her a question," Sirius suggested, "After you ask her a question she'll get caught up trying to explain it quickly and next thing you know you've been in the library for three hours with an essay draft and five books around you and flashcards because 'you're learning about it now, you may as well start your study notes so you don't have to do it later'," Sirius mocked before saying, "Pft! Like I study."

"You do," Remus and Peter said together and Remus continued, "You just don't let anyone see you to keep up your 'I'm too cool' image."

"Much more mysterious when you get top marks without seeming to have put in the work," Peter agreed.

"Keep it quiet then," Sirius hissed.

"Too late," Ella plonked down in between Peter and Sirius who sat a bit straighter. "I now know you study and all the mystery has been terribly ruined," she said dramatically, batting her eyelashes and putting a hand on her forehead to act as though she were terribly distressed.

"True comedian, this one," Sirius said dryly but Remus and Peter were both stifling laughter.

"What were you babies arguing about anyhow?"

"We were discussing Lily."

"Yes, she's become very absentee in the absence of James, hasn't she?" Ella asked. "Locks herself in the dorm, goes for long walks, stares out the window hoping to see an owl."

"You guys worried about her?" Sirius asked, creasing his forehead slightly. He did find it odd the other day when Lily asked help for Charms. It was Lily and it was Charms. She never asked help for Charms and she never left her homework to the day it was meant to be turned in.

"Mostly Marlene. She likes to worry herself with other people's business especially when she's avoiding her own."

"Oi! I heard that!" Marlene shouted from the table behind the couches they were sat at.

"You know what I should be hearing?" Ella asked the girl. "You and Nate sorting out your shit and yet here I am, with these loons discussing Lily and your inability to talk about the things that actually matter with the people who matter."

"I told you," Marlene defended herself.

"I don't matter."

"I'd like to disagree with that," Sirius interjected.

"See?" Marlene poked her tongue out, "Thank you, Black."

"Well, of course I matter," Ella said impatiently, "I meant, I don't matter in the scheme of yours and Nate's relationship as in don't tell me how you feel about the fifth year with the dreadful voice who tried to kiss Nate, tell Nate!"

"Not bad advice, Dearborn."

"Thank you, Black."

"But I'll sound so whiny and - and - and so me."

"So?" Peter asked.

Marlene sighed heavily before getting up and plonking herself next to Remus. "So she called me neurotic and a nag and I don't want to be that person."

"But that's who you are," Ella said exasperated. "It's not a bad thing and Nate has lived next to you since you were both shitting in nappies so not only does he know, he doesn't care."

"What if I don't want to be that person anymore? What if I don't want to be a nag and neurotic?"

"You can take a trip to Asia and become zen," Sirius suggested. "I once suggested that to my mother."

Ella snorted, "I'm guessing that didn't go well but Marls, until you can go to Asia and be zen … you are who you are. Some people aren't going to like it but screw them and screw Mia fucking Scott. Either go talk to Nate or decide to let the entire thing go."

"Ella's right, you know," Peter said to Marlene. "You shouldn't worry over something so minuscule."

"It's not minuscule!" Marlene protested and then nudged Remus, "Right?"

Pulling himself out of his thoughts because he had not been paying attention, he said, "Hmm?"

"You're not even listening," Marlene huffed.

"Has Lily been doing her school work in her dorm maybe?"

Everyone groaned when Marlene threw herself into a 'help Lily study' plan that turned out rather inconclusive.

She was ready to start the day fresh. Yesterday had been about avoiding. Today would be about moving on. Hours of tossing and turning in her bed had led her to conclude that though she was completely terrified of being in love she would power through it because she was a Gryffindor and that meant brave and brave meant facing your fears so that's what she was going to do. She was going to be so in love even though she was scared everything would fall apart and they'd end up hating each other so much they wouldn't be able to be around each other and that'd be a colossal tragedy.

But she'd decided. No more fear, only love and she could love Nate McKinnon. She'd done it from the moment she was born. She'd done it when they were two and she let him have her favourite stuffed toy because he'd accidentally vanished his. She'd done it when they were eight and they promised they'd marry each other because everyone else was gross. She'd done it when they were eleven and she stayed up with him all night studying because he'd forgotten about McGonagall's midterm exam. She'd done it so many times before and she could keep doing it.

She walked into the Great Hall and stopped short. Fear banging on her front door. Mia Scott was sat at the Gryffindor table next to Nate.

Marlene was frozen, the fear was no longer knocking — it had bashed in the door and hit her with a paralysing charm. He would leave her for Mia, some little voice rationalised in her mind. Mia was younger, petite and she had that smart look about her. Brunette with amber eyes. Mia was Belle and Marlene was Cinderella.

"Marls?"

Marlene flinched as Ella thread her arm through Marlene's. "What are you doing?"

"Nate's sitting with Mia," she said hopelessly.

Ella raised an eyebrow and without any explanation or declaration of a plan, marched, dragging Marlene with her to the Gryffindor table and until they stood directly opposite Mia and Nate.

Marlene was frozen as Nate didn't even look up. Ella dragged Marlene down into the seat impatiently.

"Hello, McKinnon," Ella announced their presence and then looking at Mia, "Tart."

"She's joking," Nate covered.

"She wasn't," Marlene muttered, as she avoided Nate's eyes and piled an absurd amount of food onto her plate knowing she wouldn't eat a bite of it.

"What was that?" Mia asked.

"Nothing," Marlene said, not meeting anyone's eyes but she could feel his eyes on her.

But the fear made her forget her well theorised plan made at approximately three thirty a.m. Fear didn't care that she was probably making this worse. Fear just cared that this hurt. Fear was scared of feeling this. Fear hated this insecurity that bubbled up in her and yet fed it like fuel to a flame.

"I — Lily seemed down this morning," Marlene let the fear take over, "I'm going to take her some breakfast."

"Marlene," Nate called but she was already up and gone and Sirius Black had taken her seat.

"Where's Marls off to?" Sirius asked slipping in the seat next to Ella.

"She's having some internal battle about being in a relationship," Ella supplied.

"See, Natie? She doesn't even know if she wants to be with you," Mia almost purred in what was, quite frankly, a pathetic attempt for a bloke's attention in Sirius' opinion.

"She's part of the problem," Ella spelled out.

Nate stood up, bumping the table. "Leave me alone, Mia." He stepped out of the bench, running down the hall, "Marlene! Marlene!"

Sirius and Ella stared at Mia who was frowning.

"How long before she realises we don't want to sit with her?" Ella asked.

"Definitely before she realises she's a slag," Sirius remarked.

Mia huffed, standing up and shaking the table. "It's not like they're married."

"I'm going to give you some advice, Scott," Sirius said, "Leave McKinnon and Adams alone because you won't win. You're not half as pretty as Adams and anyone with brains can see she's ten times smarter than you but not only that … I heard a rumour that McKinnon used to say Adams name in his sleep whilst he was still with you. So not only won't you win but you lost a very long time ago. Now run along to your table and pretend to have a brain."

With an indignant look, Mia fled from the Gryffindor table.

"I think you made her cry," Ella commented as they watched Mia fly out the large doors.

"It's a talent. Have you cracked your brother yet?"

Ella shook her head. "Harder to crack than a Gringott's vault," she muttered. "How's James?"

"Still no movement in his legs but he can feel so that's something. Remus thinks Lily's education is goung to burst into flames if James doesn't get better any time soon."

Ella didn't doubt Remus' assessment no matter how dramatic it sounded. "Maybe we should do something to cheer her up? You know like a 'it sucks your boyfriend can't walk but we're here for you' party."

"She doesn't need to party," Remus chimed. "She needs to start focusing on her studies."

"A party in the library!" Sirius remarked.

"Absolutely not," Remus disagreed.

"How would you even pull that off?" Ella wondered.

"Don't question our skills, Dearborn and Remus, think of the glory that party would give us."

"We'd need James for something like that," Peter commented.

"Oh, is James like the backbone of all your great ideas?" Ella asked.

"No," Sirius said the same time Remus and Peter said, "Yes."

"James is the strategist," Peter continued. "We should do that for Lily's birthday."

"But we still need something to get her back into focus," Remus pointed out.

"Maybe we should get her insanely drunk until all her guards are down and just ask her what's wrong," Peter suggested.

"Good thought but Lily talks nonsense when she's drunk," Ella shot the idea down. "I think we just need something simple like a study group. We can meet up once a week and if everyone is in it she'll feel obligated and therefore forced to start taking her school work more seriously."

"Boring," Sirius yawned.

"Tuesday nights?" Remus suggested.

"I'll check with the girls but yeah," Ella agreed. "Common room?"

"Oh come on," Sirius complained, "If we're doing something as lame as a study group can't we at least have a cool place to do it?"

"What'd you have in mind?" Peter asked.

He considered. "Give me 'til Tuesday."

Lily was running late to her own class when she found Mia Scott in a deserted hallway just after the first period bell. It wouldn't be good if she was late though. Her friends had started some stupid study group and Lily wasn't fooled. She knew it was because they were worried about her. She'd been zoning out in class, leaving homework and assignments to the night before. Even Professor Slughorn commented in her slip in marks.

"Mia?" Lily asked, despite telling herself she should just tell her to get to class. Mia's eyes were red and puffy. "You okay?"

She sniffed. "I'm fine."

Lily sat down next to the girl. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Leave me alone."

"Is this about Nate McKinnon?" Lily asked boldly. She'd heard about the events of New Year's Eve and had contributed in trying to assuage Marlene's fears about the dreaded kiss.

"None of your business," Mia sniffed.

"I suppose it isn't but I am Head Girl and I do have a duty to everyone to make sure everything's okay." Lily checked her watch. "So I'm just going to sit here until you tell me."

"You don't have to be nice to me," Mia snapped.

But she did. Lily did. She remembered when Mia stopped by the Hospital Wing after she'd been attacked and they'd gone through the same thing. How could Lily's heart not go out to her?

"Would you rather I give you a detention instead?"

Mia was quiet. "I — it's not about Nate, I mean it is but not really. I just I had one good thing and I let it go and now with all of this going on some of my friends — they're all pureblood and well, their parents don't want them hanging around a muggleborn … dangerous times and all," she finished off gloomily.

Lily chewed her lip wondering if there was more and she wanted to ask but she didn't want to push too hard, too soon. Lily let the words sit in her mind for a moment before saying, "I can be your friend."

"Adams hates me."

"True," Lily said, "But I'm not Marlene. Just," Lily pulled a face, "Stop trying to win Nate over. Anyone with eyes knows they're going to end up married with three kids in a pretty house somewhere."

"I know, I lost a long time ago, right?" Mia asked. "That's what Black and Dearborn told me."

"Now let's get to class before," Lily checked her watch again, "Nevermind, we're late. Get to class. Merlin, Remus is going to kill me!" Lily grabbed her bag off the floor and started sprinting down the hall calling out, "Get to class!" one last time before she rounded the corner.

After chasing after her up the Grand Staircase, he caught Marlene around the wrist and spun her around but she pushed him away. "Stop," she demanded.

"Stop what? Marlene, what's going on? It can't just be about Mia." She hated that he could see further than her exterior insecurities.

"I," she could tell him but he'd just accuse her of being silly and over cautious. He'd tell her there was nothing to worry about but that wasn't true at all. Look at James and Lily — she moped around the place waiting until classes finished. So she let the fear egg her on. "I think it's best if we stop."

"Stop?"

"Br — break-up. I think we should break up," the sentence came out disjointed but it was out there now and she couldn't take it back.

"No," Nate denied.

"No?" Marlene repeated. "You can't just refuse a break-up!"

"I can and I am."

"That's not how this works!"

"You don't just get to decide that we're over because you're scared. You don't get to leave me because you think I'll leave you. Marls, I love you, I always have and I know this is a different kind of love and it's okay to be scared but don't run."

Her heart swelled as he saw her even when she tried to hide.

"But what if something happens?" she asked like a child.

"Then it's best we spend the time we have together wisely." He stepped closer to her. "Marlene, I'm not going to lie to you and pretend that everything is going to be sunshine and rainbows but," he struggled with his words, pulled away and started pacing in front of her trying to pull together what he wanted to say. He stopped in front of her and kissed her roughly. "I don't care if you nag and you're neurotic. I don't care if you over think things and love parties a little too much. I don't care that you get tipsy after two drinks. I don't care that you repeat yourself a hundred times when you're angry or excited. I don't care because I love all those things about you and no matter what happens I want to spend all my time with you. So no, we're not breaking up."

Marlene groaned and leaned her head on his chest. "God, you're so frustrating when you talk like that."

Nate raised an eyebrow, "The good kind I hope."

She kissed him, "The very best kind," she assured him. "I was overwhelmed."

"By the attack or Mia?"

She sighed, "Both. Seeing Mia kiss you, god," she whispered, "It made me realise how much it would hurt to lose you and I know you'd never intentionally hurt me but then the attack and some things just aren't in our control and lord it would hurt ten times worse if you were to die or be hurt and I didn't want to be hurt but I love you and-"

He shut her up with his lips on hers, "There's the Marly I know and love,". He cupped her face with his hand as his other arm snagged around her waist to pull her closer and his lips moved against hers, their mouths dancing with each other, sucking and biting and teasing.

Sirius walked into McGonagall's office confidently after he knocked. Used to the stern office, he sat himself at the chair on the other side of her desk without her having said as much as, "Good morning, Mr Black."

"Morning, Professor," Sirius replied cheerily.

"Have you put any thought into what you want to do after Hogwarts?"

"Auror," Sirius said confidently.

"Do you have a back-up plan?" McGonagall asked.

"A back-up?" Sirius quirked an eyebrow. "No. Won't need one."

Professor McGonagall pursed her lips. "Mr Black, I do not doubt your capabilities, in fact I think you're a rather extraordinary student when you put your mind to it, however, as much as it isn't fair," she stopped.

"Say it," Sirius said lowly.

"The Auror Office will not accept anyone with your last name into their program. Your family has very publicly announced their loyalties to the Dark Arts."

"But I don't even live with my family! My mother's blasted me off that god damned tapestry!"

McGonagall gave him a pitying look. "I understand, I truly do but the Auror Office, they won't accept you and as Career Guidance I must prepare you for that outcome. Now, is there anything else you would like to do?"

Sirius shook his head.

"There must be something!" she fiddled through some papers. "How about a curse breaker?"

Sirius shook his head.

"You're doing well in Potions, how about a potion brewer?"

He shook his head.

"A healer?"

He wrinkled his face and shook his head again.

"Wand maker?"

He shook his head.

"Journalist?"

He shook his head again.

The Professor looked at him kindly. "How about we reschedule for next week? In the mean time, take these, have a read through."

She handed him a pile of pamphlets and Sirius left without a word.

Lily woke up at a quarter to seven and swore. That stupid study group thing started in fifteen minutes and Remus would be having all kinds of concerned looks and questions if she didn't show. She rolled out of her comfy bed, tangling herself in her curtains and slipped her shoes on before grabbing her book back and cloak.

She ran all the way to the seventh floor where Sirius had instructed everyone meet and they were all there waiting for her and Lily plastered on a smile.

"Ready?"

"Where were you?" Adaline frowned. "You missed dinner."

"Oh, I had something to eat really early," Lily lied.

Sirius walked across a stretch of the hall three times and a door appeared, turning the attention away from Lily's absence and onto the room at hand.

The room that Sirius had found was a place that only appeared when needed and because Sirius Black was the one to find it, their study room ended up having large windows that overlooked the grounds with bean bags and floor cushions spread around in a circle.

"Pretty great, aye?" Sirius grinned as everyone filed in. "And only we know it's here."

"How did you know it was here?" Ella asked, sinking into a beanbag.

"I have my ways."

Everyone settled down onto a bean bag or floor cushion and Lily emptied her bag's contents onto the floor, a bruised apple rolling out and Sirius wrinkled his nose. "Say, Evans, that wouldn't be the apple I gave you for breakfast last Friday?"

Lily hummed. "It's possible."

"Lily," Sirius scolded. "Did you even eat anything for dinner?"

"What are you my mother?" Lily scowled and Sirius scowled right back.

"Well, did you?"

So they sat, scowling at each other, until Remus broke the silence. "So everyone agree we should start with Charms?"

"Oh wait, didn't you two do Charms last night?" Adaline asked Marlene and Nate.

The two glanced at each other, smirking. "Yeah, that didn't exactly go well."

"We got sidetracked," Nate added.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I found them in a broom closet on the fourth floor."

"Lily! You swore to secrecy!"

"Relax Adams," Sirius said, "Everyone knows you two go at it like bunnies. You may even be worse than James and Lily at that New Year's party…"

"Wait, what?" Nate asked as Lily's cheeks flushed.

"Nothing," Lily muttered.

"You mean you didn't know?" Sirius wheezed.

"Black," Lily warned.

"Downsta-"

Before he could finish his sentence whoever, he suddenly lost the ability to talk.

"Now," Lily said, "I thought this was some lame attempt to get me to study." The others glanced at each other sheepishly. "So Charms," Lily continued, "What's everyone up to? Because I've still got to do that assignment due tomorrow."

Remus balked. "Lily, that assignment took me three days to finish!"

"More like a week," Ella mumbled.

"It's okay," Marlene insisted, "It's why we're here right? Now that charms assignment was to make a charm of your own creation."

"You guys don't have to help me," Lily insisted. "I'm better at charms than all of you combined. I'll be-" A balled up parchment hit her face. Lily looked at Sirius who looked quite impatient. "What?"

He pointed at his throat and she shrugged. "You think you're so great, reverse it yourself."

The others laughed at Sirius' exasperated expression as Lily settled in forming a charm that would allow a teapot to turn different shades of red and blue depending on the temperature.

Marlene and Nate were the first to slink off, packing up their things at around nine — they weren't fooling anybody though. Ella and Adaline left next about a half hour later and then Remus and Peter until it was just Sirius and Lily.

"James wrote me today," Lily said, midway through writing the corresponding essay to her charm. The charm itself wasn't her best work but it was passable. If she hadn't been so demotivated lately, she'd have come up with something more creative.

"And?"

"The potion isn't working as quickly as they'd hoped. He won't be back next week."

"He's getting better, Lil. You need to snap out of whatever this is," Sirius told her. "It's not-"

"It's not what?" Lily bit.

"Like you," Sirius said. "At first I thought Remus was overreacting but you hardly eat, I mean honestly Lils do your robes even fit you properly? And come on, a temperature reading charm? I mean it's a neat spell but it's beneath you. Has anything you've handed in the last week been graded over an A?"

If Lily hadn't been in the middle of an existential crisis, she'd have been ashamed but she wasn't and she let her anger win over.

"What difference does it make?" Lily asked. "I'll be surprised if I'm still alive in five years."

Sirius was stunned into silence.

"What? No suave reply to that?" she asked coyly.

"You're not going to die," Sirius said stubbornly.

Lily laughed. "And what makes me so special? This is war, Sirius."

"So what? That's it, you've decided you're going to be dead sometime in the next five years and school doesn't matter?"

"Something like that, yeah," she agreed.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say."

"Tough."

It was that moment that Sirius formed a plan. He was rather good at forming plans that drove people up the wall and he was planning to drive Lily into a will to live again. Not only was he going to do that but he was going to do it before James got back to Hogwarts which gave him a rather uncertain timeline but Sirius was ambitious so he was just going to give himself a week. Seven days to spark Lily Evans into the fire she was born to be.

A/N: Hello everyone! Here's chapter 22! Hope you enjoy ...

Shout out to TrueHomiePiP for her review last chapter :)

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Thank you for reading!

-Natalie x