Being a transfigured vase of flowers wasn't exactly Remus' idea of a typical Saturday but here he was being carried into the Malfoy Manor posing as one of the many bunches of flowers being brought into the house for the big wedding. Sirius' brilliant idea for undercover surveillance and Moody had jumped on it like a frog to a lily pad and so Remus' next several hours were to be spent in the Malfoy Manor, thankfully, not as a vase of flowers.
A disguised Peter set him on a table and when no one was looking, slipped the invisibility cloak over Remus' transfigured form. Remus untransfigured himself, sliding as silently as possible off the table and making sure the cloak covered as much of him as possible. Remus tapped Peter's shoulder twice to let him know that he was fine before exiting the room to basically snoop. Remus had studied for this, it was why he was the flowers instead of Peter. Remus remembered every inch of this mansion like it was the back of his hand and per Sirius' suggestion, he started with the room James found the diary in.
The diary was infuriating everybody. It clearly meant a lot to the Death Eaters which meant it was important to Voldemort but they tried everything and the damn thing didn't spill a god damned secret. They all had theories. Peter thought it held all of Voldemort's grand plans. Lily thought it might be a weapons creation journal and that it'd be full of deadly formulas. James suggested that it held names of all Voldemort's Death Eaters and allies. Marlene agreed with Peter about the grand plans. Ella said it could be a daily planner and that "maybe Voldemort booked in hair appointments or something". Sirius countered Ella and said "nah, it's where he writes all his feelings" to which a fantastic debate begun about whether the Lord Voldemort had or felt emotions. The general consensus was that he was "a heartless Lord of Everything Miserable".
In the absence of progress, it was agreed that further action should be taken to find out what the diary kept secret and saw Remus and Peter nominated to infiltrate the Malfoy Manor where the book was found. Peter because he had the perfect surveillance disguise as a rat and Remus, well because he happened to be free and so Remus found himself sneaking around a mansion whilst it's occupants were busy with attending a wedding in the backyard.
Remus felt it when Peter climbed up his leg and arm onto his shoulder, barely flinching he patted Peter's head as he entered the drawing room that was honestly, to Remus' eyes, more of a library. A desk stood at the end of the room facing the door and Remus headed for that first. Peter climbed down Remus' arm and onto the table to start sniffing around but when his paw touched a loose bit of parchment with a messy scrawl on it, Peter went flying across the room hitting the bookshelf behind them.
Intrigued, Remus bent over the parchment, careful not to touch it, the scrawl was messy and a lot of it was in shorthand or some sort of code but it was a familiar sort of code which reminded Remus, oddly enough, of his potions notes.
"Oh don't mind me," Peter wheezed from behind him having transformed back.
"Come look at this," Remus demanded, pulling the hood of the cloak down so he was just a floating head. "It looks like a recipe."
Peter came around to peer at the recipe and frowned. "'For MGB' what's that supposed to mean? And aren't a lot of these poisons?"
He was right, Remus realised. Deadly nightshade. Water hemlock. White snakeroot. All poisonous muggle plants and fatal ones at that. MGB. Muggle-borns? It'd be poetic, Remus supposed from their minds.
Remus' ears pricked at the voices outside the door. "No one is to enter this room," Lucius Malfoy's voice could be heard along with an accompanying set of footsteps down the main stairs. Remus sighed in relief and checked his watch. The house should be mostly deserted until the end of the ceremony.
Peter and Remus took their time searching this room and found nothing else but the other pages to that potions recipe.
"Oi," Peter called, his face an inch from the page. "You don't think this is Snape's handwriting do you?"
"If it is … it'll definitely work."
"Well it's definitely for muggle-borns. Look here." Peter pointed at a paragraph on one of the new pages they'd found.
'The antidote to only be distributed in water supply. Once taken the person is inoculated for six months.' Remus frowned. "Is this an antidote recipe? Or a poison recipe?"
Peter considered and then said, "Both. Look that one is titled 'For MGB' and this one is titled 'For PB'. MGB, muggle-borns. PB, pure-bloods and I'd guess Malfoy is inoculating all the 'worthy' purebloods at the biggest magical wedding of the century."
"Fuck," Remus hissed. "Transform back," Remus hissed, pulling up the hood of the cloak. "We gotta get back to Headquarters."
"How we getting passed the guard?"
Remus considered. "Slit the door open, stun him."
Peter transformed and took his spot on Remus' shoulder. Remus tapped his wand over the parchment and successfully duplicated it and picked up the duplicated copy. He shoved it into his pocket and headed for the window. The wedding was set to start in, he checked his watch, ten minutes. Most people should be out of the house by now. Peering out the window, Remus saw two men in suits guarding the entrance of the tent and a few more loitering about in strategic spots. A paranoid man, Lucius Malfoy seemed to be.
Remus walked to the door and pressed his ear to it. Silence. Peter tapped his cheek twice, confirming that they were good to go. Remus twisted the doorknob painfully slow to avoid any creaks or screeches and pushed it open just enough to see through a slit. The suited man was standing directly in front of the two double doors making it exceptionally easy to send a silent stunner. The man fell and Remus took care to step over him as he closed the door.
Remus spotted the last of the help hired to prepare for the start of the wedding leaving and Remus slipped out of the front door behind them. He followed behind them closely all the way to the gates and as easily as they'd come in, Remus and Peter left the premises apparating out as soon as they were on the other side of the gate.
Remus ran frantically through Headquarters, searching in room after room for where everyone would be gathered. He'd never seen Headquarters so quiet. Usually there were a few people spread across different rooms — apparently even secret organisation weren't free from the clutches of cliques. The Hogwarts alumni usually had the living room, the senior citizens the dining room and the middle aged ministry workers the kitchens. But today there was no one in any of the rooms on the first floor.
"Come on," Remus muttered to Peter as he headed down the stairs to the kitchen.
Finally he heard signs of life. He heard sobbing.
Remus walked carefully into the room, Peter close on his heels and Remus' gut wrenched when he saw that it was Lily crying. She was clinging to James, hugging him so tightly that he wasn't sure how James could breathe. Something had happened beyond what Remus had found out. That much was obvious.
She stared down his cold eyes. She could join their ranks. Be a spy for the Order. She could do that if it saved her mother's life.
"Lily, go! Just get out of here! Don't worry about me! Don't go with him!" her mum looked at her desperately and Lily shook her head.
"I can't! Mum! Please just let her go! I'll go with you just leave my mum and James alone!"
"Lily no!" James shouted turning her around. "You can't!"
Lily touched his cheek gently, "If it keeps you and mum safe … I have to."
She'd been putting it off. Merlin, she'd been putting it off so badly that she was sure Weatherby knew she was pregnant before Sirius did — if Weatherby didn't know, she certainly assumed after the fourth time Ella threw up into the trashcan — the morning sickness really was something else and Ella truly loathed it. Alice would get back from Italy before Ella told Sirius at this rate and it wasn't that she didn't want to tell him, she didn't know how to bring something like that up. It was getting ridiculous though she had to tell him, he needed to know and she just needed to rip the bandaid off. They'd fight and argue and say things they didn't mean, they always did and then, she had to believe, it'd be okay.
It had to be because despite Marlene's way out, Ella couldn't imagine getting rid of her baby — even if that baby was an accident and had the worst timing in the world. It was strange, but she already felt a sort of protectiveness over it and she knew that she'd do anything for this baby, anything at all to make sure it was happy and safe and loved. It helped her to become unafraid of repeating history because she knew it to her core that she'd never let what happened to her and Sirius happen to this baby. This baby would never have a reason to be unhappy.
She spent the entire day at work thinking about what she'd say and how she'd say it. She practised the words in her head and told herself it'd be fine, that he'd come around. After work she stopped by the hospital so she could get a check-up since she'd decided to keep the baby, she thought it was time to find out more about the little thing inside of her.
"So you're keeping it?" Marlene asked as she set her up in a room.
Ella brushed her hands across her stomach and nodded, "Yeah. Yeah, I am."
Marlene grinned and pulled Ella into a huge hug. "I can't believe you're gonna be a mummy!" She pulled away. "Does Sirius know yet?"
"No, tonight. I'm telling him tonight so just keep quiet until we talk again."
Marlene nodded, "Of course. Healer Bodie will be in in a minute. I'll be around-"
"Can you stay?" Ella blurted. "I don't wanna do this alone."
Marlene stayed with Ella as Healer Bodie performed the necessary tests to determine how far into the pregnancy Ella was and when the due date would be.
"You'll be a proud mummy on August sixteenth. You're about three and a half months along and this is your precious baby," Healer Bodie handed Ella the ultrasound photo and Ella stared at the tiny baby in complete awe. Marlene sniffed and squeezed her hand and Ella laughed blinking back her own tears but she couldn't help it.
This little thing inside of her was hers and Sirius' and they made it together without ever meaning to. It was the most miraculous thing to happen in her entire life and she grew up with magic. Looking at the tiny person inside of her, an overwhelming sense of love flooded her, washing over every crevice of her very being and any thoughts that had lingered about maybe not doing this completely vanished.
Suddenly, it didn't matter if she was nineteen. It didn't matter if she wasn't married, hell, at this point it wouldn't even matter to her if Sirius walked out. She wanted this baby so, so much she didn't know how she couldn't see that before.
"Sorry, I'm not normally a crier," she wiped away her tears. "I'm just a little overwhelmed. Is the photo .. Is it moving?"
Healer Bodie nodded, "Mmhmm, it's like a real life photo of your womb so it shows your womb as it is in that moment."
The healer left after talking Ella through things that she should steer clear of and stuff she should eat more and less of. It was a lot to remember but Marlene promised she'd be there every step of the way for any questions.
"Next week we can go to Diagon Alley and pick up some pregnancy books," Marlene suggested.
"I don't know what I'd do without you," Ella sighed, leaning her head on Marlene's shoulder as they still stared at the ultrasound. "It's so tiny," she murmured.
"I can't believe it's inside you," Marlene said. "I think Sirius will be okay."
"Do you think so?"
Marlene nodded. "He may act tough and all that but I think deep down, he's a softie."
"He is, isn't he?"
"So you'll be fine. Just keep a cool head."
With that in mind Ella walked home so she she could think more about what to say and how and to just clear her head. She felt all over the place now that she'd seen the tiny baby inside her. Excited, nervous, terrified and happy all at once. Maybe this was the hormonal thing the healer was talking about.
Sirius was hunched over the blank diary in the kitchen when she opened the door and she sat opposite him nervously. He glanced up and said, "Hey, how was work?"
"It was okay. Sirius, I — there's something I need to tell you."
"Hmm?" His attention still on the diary.
"I'm serious. It's important. Can you put that away for five minutes?"
"Sorry, it's sort of addictive trying to figure out what's in it. Between James, Remus, Peter and I, we've tried almost everything and still nothing. It's like it repels magic," Sirius shook his head. "It's got to be something big. Huge if Voldemort wants it."
Ella sucked in a big breath and said his name again, fiddling with the ultrasound photo under the table.
"Oh right." He closed the book and slid it to the end of the table. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's, er, wrong. I just have some news."
"Some news?" he quirked a brow.
"Yeah." She steeled a breath and told herself she could do this no matter how he reacted. She could get through this and the thought that she wasn't alone anymore, her fingertips trailing her stomach, struck her like a brand of hope. She slid the photo onto the table so Sirius could see it and with a breath said, "I'm pregnant."
Sirius didn't say anything and Ella didn't know if it was because he was too shocked or if it was because he was too angry. Either way it was making her too nervous.
"Sirius," she said gently, reaching out to touch his hand but he jolted out of his seat and Ella felt a flash of hurt before she heard Remus' voice behind her.
She turned to see the brilliant blue wolf standing in their kitchen and the words out of it's mouth had Ella grasping the back of her chair so tightly her knuckles went white.
She turned around to face Voldemort. His eyes cold and cruel and she accepted what she'd have to do. The choice between herself and those she loved was the easiest she'd ever made.
"I'll join you only if you let my mother and James go free."
He studied her and nodded. "We'll have you married to someone so you can change your last name. Others won't be as forgiving of your last name." She went stiff and she felt James go rigid behind her, his hand squeezing hers so tightly it was a wonder it didn't fall off.
He let go, stepping around her. "If you want only one of us-"
"James what are you doing?"
"Take me."
"James!" Lily shouted, panic shrouding every inch of her. "You can't!"
But love went both ways.
It was ridiculous having exams on a Saturday night in Marlene's opinion. They should be on a weekday, you know the established Monday to Friday not at six in the afternoon on a Saturday but she didn't make the rules she just had to follow them if she wanted her Assistant Healer certification. She'd sit her AHC exam and in June she'd be a certified Assistant Healer which meant she could take patients in the emergency room, being the first on hand to determine which healer a patient needed.
She walked into the exam room behind some of the girls in her training group and told herself she'd be fine. She didn't spend days studying for nothing and if she wasn't totally confident, she knew deep down that she had this exam in the bag. Something that was confirmed when she read the first question. She whizzed through the pages, her quill running across the page until she'd finished and was satisfied when she looked up and saw that she was one of the few her were finished so after reading through it once mostly to check for spelling errors, she stuck her hand in the air.
Nate was waiting for her when she left St Mungo's and it put the biggest smile on her face. She'd barely seen him in days she'd been so busy studying but now, she'd done her exam now and the feeling of freedom was fresh.
"How'd it go?" Nate asked as she leaned in to kiss his lips.
"Crushed it," she sung happily.
"Really?" Nate grinned. "I didn't doubt you for a second!"
Marlene laughed, looping her arm through his as they headed out onto the street but a voice called after them.
"Marly! The girls and I were thinking of going for drinks," Maria Matthews, one of Marlene's closer friends within the group, called out after her.
"Oh, well Nate and I were going out for dinner," Marlene said.
Maria waved her off. "Nate can come. We all want to meet this boyfriend of yours!"
Marlene turned to Nate who shrugged and Marlene clapped happily before towing Nate over to Maria.
"Nate this is Maria Matthews. Maria, Nate."
"Nice to meet you," Nate said with a warm smile, a smile Maria reciprocated as they shook hands.
"Come on back inside. We're all flooing into this bar in Diagon Alley. It's the new place to be," Maria rolled her eyes as she walked through the glass concealing St Mungo's. Marlene and Nate hastily followed as to not miss anything Maria was saying. "I think they serve food too so if you're hungry you can order. Oh and Marlene you have to try this cocktail they make! It's called A Discovery of Magic and it is awesome! It literally tastes like magic in your mouth."
"How do you know what magic tastes like?" Marlene quirked her brow.
"Oh I was naive like you once but you will see! Caught her!" Maria declared to the group by the staff only fireplace and Nate took the time to whisper to Marlene, "I swear the only person who talks more than you."
Marlene elbowed him with an amused smile before introducing Nate to her work friends and then they were all off to the new bar called The Underground and it had a speak eazy vibe was Marlene's first thought as she dusted soot off her robes. There were dimly lit booths around the place with a band playing on a slightly elevated stage. A gorgeous mahogany bar stretched against the back wall, the main attraction of the room with its glistening bottles of gold liquid and shining bench top.
Marlene turned to Nate and said in his ear, "Okay I am so in the mood to find out what magic tastes like!"
Nate laughed as Maria looped her arm through Marlene's. "We have got to get drinks! I am ready to get so drunk that I forget all about the AHC. Like I want to get so drunk that I can't even say AHC!"
Marlene agreed earnestly and Nate jibed, "Marls, you'll be in that state after two drinks."
"Oh, you a lightweight honey?" Maria asked her.
"Just a tad."
"She means a lot," Nate corrected.
"Nate," Marlene complained pouting.
"What? It's a good thing," Nate assured her. "It means we spend less money on alcohol for you."
"He presents a good point," Maria said as they reached the bar and ordering three of the cocktails she mentioned earlier.
The three of them chatted happily whilst they waited for their drinks and after paying the bartender they clinked their drinks together. Marlene brought the drink to her lips but froze when she saw a patronus flying towards them. She grabbed Nate's arm tightly and she felt him get alert beside her, putting his drink down on the bar. Maria gave them confused looks and turned around, delight crossing her face as she too spotted the patronus.
"Oh! Someone's gone wild," she laughed happily but the crow patronus stopped in front of them. Ella's voice spilled out and despite the din of the bar, the words rung out crystal clear and Marlene gasped in sorrow, her hand hovering over her mouth.
James looked at her, "I can. It's me you really want anyways, isn't it?" he asked turning back to Voldemort. "Another heir to a prominent pureblood line."
"Spoiled by the blood of muggles and mudbloods but yes prominent," Voldemort agreed. "Is this my choice then? A mudblood or a spoiled pureblood? What if I want both of you?"
"No," Rosie croaked out and Lily's eyes widened when Rosie pulled out a knife and before anyone could stop her she struck herself low in the stomach. "You'll take neither of them." Rosie looked at her daughter and mouthed, "Run," blood already dripping out of her mouth and Lily was frozen as though everything around her was in slow motion.
James seized the opportunity and before Lily could do anything, James had her hand and was twisting on the spot, her mother's pale face the last thing she saw.
Lily shut her eyes. This couldn't be real. James was holding her tightly, murmuring 'I'm sorry' like a prayer into her ear and she didn't know if he was saying it to her or praying for forgiveness. It didn't matter. Her mum was dead. No, no, no. She didn't know how this happened. They were eating dinner for god's sake!
"How'd he even know we were both there at that time on this night?" Lily murmured finally pulling back from James to see his face. She was mildly surprised to see his tear ridden face, red and splotchy eyes under his crooked rims but then she supposed, he'd gone through an ordeal too even if it wasn't his mother who had died.
Lily couldn't even understand what her mother was thinking. She just took her own life for something she didn't even understand. Lily had never taken the time to explain to her about the war because she hadn't seen the point but now her mother gave her life to save Lily but she died not knowing from what.
"What?" James asked snapping Lily out of her spiral.
"Voldemort," Lily croaked. "How'd he know we were at my mum's?
"I don't," James shook his head, frowning, "I don't know and how'd he found out where you live?"
"Snape," Lily said darkly but thinking of Snape made Lily think of someone else from her childhood. "Petunia," Lily sighed tiredly. "How am I supposed to explain this to Petunia?"
James pulled her close again and she buried her nose in his neck shutting her eyes tight and wishing she were hugging her mother. "We'll go see her tomorrow. You don't have to do any of this alone."
James made sure he was there every step of the way and though Lily didn't have the room to be thankful for it right now, when the grief for her mother subsided a wave of gratefulness and love would be all she felt towards James. True to his word, they apparated into the small, repetitive and boring suburb that her sister lived in the next morning and he held her steady as her hands trembled. The houses on the street were all the same and Lily couldn't understand how her sister could stand to live such a mundane life but she was also terrified. Terrified of being the one to shatter whatever life Petunia had built here.
"What if she blames me?" Lily asked turning to face James but not looking at his eyes. Instead she stared straight ahead at his chest. They were standing in front of her sister's house — indistinguishable from the others apart from the number on the bare bricks.
James softly knocked her chin up with his fingers, forcing her eyes to his his. "No matter what your sister says or thinks, it is not your fault, Lily." He pulled her into him, wrapping his arms tight around her. He kissed her temple and she shut her eyes trying to hold onto the words that her sister will try so hard to refute.
"Can you say it again?" she whispered as she held onto him.
He kissed her temple again and said, "It's not your fault."
Lily hugged him tightly for a moment before stepping back and looking at the house. "Let's just get this over with then."
Lily walked ahead to the front door, not thinking before knocking knowing that if she stopped to let her thoughts in she'd never find the courage to face her sister. Her sister who opened the door in her night gown, her blonde hair up in curlers and an appropriately stunned look on her face before it turned sour.
"What are you doing here?"
Lily went to open her mouth but the courage she was talking about before seemed to have taken a time out because nothing came out of her mouth. James squeezed her hand and said, "I think it's best we talk inside, Petunia."
Lily was surprised that Petunia didn't fight it. Instead she stepped aside and let them in, leading them to a quaint but perfectly organised living room with pristine floral couches and cream carpets. Lily took in everything. The gleaming coffee table. The photos of a happy couple perched on the fireplace mantle. The box television in the corner.
"What is it then?" Petunia asked and wasn't it sad that Petunia knew this wasn't just a social call?
"I, well, Petunia," Lily started, "There's something I need to tell you."
"Get on with it then. The neighbours will talk if you stay for too long."
Lily ignored the hurtful jibe. "Mum's dead." The words rung out like an endless echo, echoing and echoing for what felt like an eternity in Lily's mind.
"What?" her sister asked.
"Mum is dead. She died."
Lily tore a glance towards Petunia and regretted it. The blame was already there and she hadn't even heard the story.
"How?" Petunia breathed, sitting down onto an armchair.
"An evil wizard came to the house," Lily's leg shook as she tried to hold the tears in and to keep her voice from shaking. "He used mum as leverage to get us to join his side of the war and —"
"And you let him kill her!" Petunia finished the untold story. Petunia never had a temper unless it was Lily on the other side — at least that's how it felt to Lily.
"No," Lily breathed, "I told him I'd go with him and so did James but mum — mum stabbed herself so we wouldn't have to."
"You let our mother stab herself to death so you wouldn't have to join some stupid man!?"
"I didn't let her — it all happened so fast. It happened before I could stop it!"
"Get out. Get out of my house! I don't want to ever see you again!" Petunia shrieked tears crawling down her face.
"I'll organise the funeral at the local church and handle the authorities," Lily told Petunia as she stood. "I'll let you know the details and the day after tomorrow, I'm going back to the house to, well, to pack everything up. I'd like it if you could come."
Sirius and Remus had gone to Lily's house to see what was left and apparently apart from the damage in the kitchen, everything else was in order. They had informed the muggle authorities making an anonymous call from a payphone as Lily had told them to do and they'd taken the body away. Rosie Evans' body now lay in the Cokeworth morgue. Now, all that was left to do with the house, was to pack up her parents belongings and move out so they could sell the place. Lily didn't think she could bare to pack up her home by herself.
"Shut up! Shut up!" Petunia yelled at her. "You were always the favourite! Always and why? You were never here! You were off doing God knows what and now, you've good as killed mum! I don't know what you are but you, you're something from the devil!"
Lily flinched at the harsh words that cut so deep Lily's heart broke for the second time within twenty-four hours. James slipped his arm around Lily and bid goodbye to Petunia, steering Lily out of her sister's house because Lily couldn't see or think or move. That was so much worse than she could have imagined. So much worse than anything Petunia had ever thrown at her. You're something from the devil.
"You're not," James said and Lily blinked up at him through her tears.
"What?"
"You're not from the devil." For the second time that day, James pulled Lily into a hug, hugging her tightly and smoothing her hair. "And it's not your fault."
Ella rolled over in bed to see Sirius was gone — a rare occurrence. She glanced back at the clock and frowned. It was only seven thirty, a time Sirius barely saw unless he was up for a mission. Ella rolled out of bed, taking the quilt with her and headed out into the living room where Sirius was fiddling with his bike.
He didn't notice her coming in and she leaned against the archway staring at him with a soft smile on her face before calling his name quietly.
He looked up at her, their eyes locking intensely before he tore his gaze away again and she'd be lying if she didn't admit that it hurt that he could be so dismissive.
"Are we going to talk about it?"
"About what?"
Ella looked away herself now, if only to regain composure of her face. "You know what." She turned back to him and she hitched the quilt tighter around her when he wouldn't even look at her.
"I don't think now is the right time to talk about this." He concentrated on his bike, twisting something or other.
"Well when will it ever be?" Ella snapped. This wasn't just something they could avoid. This was a baby. "Can you look at me, please?"
He finished screwing something in on his bike before dropping the wrench so it clanged loudly on the floor and he stood up, his eyes boring into hers as if to say, "well".
"Can you not drop it like that!" Ella snapped again annoyed at the careless way he dropped something so heavy onto hardwood floors and the tips of anger flicking at her. He was acting so blaissez about the whole thing as though this wouldn't change their entire life. She'd seen him be like this before. To his brother and about his family — the Blacks. She never thought she'd be lumped in with them though.
"Oh bugger off. I'm the one paying the god damned rent."
"Yeah and I pay for everything else! I'd appreciate it if you could refrain from damaging the floors!"
Sirius rolled his eyes at her. "I can have it fixed with a wave of my wand now did you really crawl out of bed to yell at me about the floor?"
"No actually, I have work in an hour," Ella said not wanting him to think she woke up because of him. If he was going to be blaissez so could she.
"Lily's mum died yesterday," Sirius said astonished with judgement seeping through as though Ella had forgotten, as though she hadn't sat with Lily for hours whilst she cried.
"Yes I know that but life doesn't just stop."
"Don't you think we should go see if they're okay?"
"Lily has James and I have work. I'll visit her at night. James said Mrs Potter is serving dinner at eight so everyone can make it after work."
"But it's Lily and her mum died." He seemed genuinely confused about why Ella was still going into work and honestly it made her so, so mad. Why couldn't he just accept the fact that she had a job?
"Merlin, Sirius! Yes! Lily's mum died and it's all very sad and tragic! I know! But I still have a job to go to! Marlene's still going to work, Alice is still going to work and I am still going to work! What do you care so much about Lily's mum for anyways! You don't even care about your own!"
"That's got nothing to do with it!" Sirius snapped. "Mrs Evans was a lovely lady and Lily is hurt."
"Of course she's hurt! Her mum just died! But she's not going to be okay for a while! This isn't something me skipping work for a day can fix, Sirius, so I don't understand why you're haranguing me about going to work! In fact, I don't understand why you're haranguing me at all about Lily's mum dying when we have our own problems!"
"Like what?" Sirius shouted.
"Are you fucking with me right now?" She could feel her face heating up, the anger like tentacles wrapped around her. She was too hot, it was too hot in here. She threw off the quilt onto the couch and glared at Sirius. "Like what? Did you actually just ask me that? There is an entire baby inside of me and you have the audacity to question whether we as a couple have problems?"
"Well, you're unlikely to have half a baby inside of you."
"You're making jokes now," Ella threw up her hands, clapping in mock excitement. "Great. Fantastic! Look at you go! Avoid, avoid, avoid but let's crack a joke!"
"Can you quit nagging me about this! I don't even — I haven't even had time to process and you're acting like you're going to have it tomorrow! We've nine months to sort this out."
"Five and a half months," Ella cut in. "I'm three and a half months in. Not that you asked or, you know, care. Do you even want a baby?"
"You know the answer to that already."
"Yes but that was-"
"A year ago?" Sirius cut her off with a deadly glare that he usually reserved for Slytherins and Ella found herself wondering when she became the enemy. "My answer hasn't changed."
Ella rolled her eyes. "Yes okay teenage you who hated anything grown up and hated his parents didn't want kids. But you now. Now that this is real, do you want this baby?"
"You act like a year is some great time for growth or something that now because we're finished school I'm supposed to be 'grown up' and what suddenly want kids? Kids were never in the picture for me! I don't want them! And newsflash, we are still teenagers! Nine-teen! Teen. Teenager! See how that works!"
"Yeah well, this is just one kid and it's yours so what do you want to do about it? Teenager or not." They stared each other down in the middle of the living room. "You can walk, if that's what you really want to do but I'm keeping this baby with or without you and if you walk …This kid won't know you as dad," Ella decided on the spot. "If you walk it's the end of us and I'll sue you for custody." Maybe she was being harsh but she wanted him to know that he couldn't just bail on her — on them! — And come back whenever he felt like it. If he bailed, he bailed for good. "You'll never be a part of our lives again."
"Our?" he asked confused and then realisation. "Right you and the, uh, the-"
"The baby," Ella finished for him sharply. "It's not a dirty word, Sirius. Do you want this?"
Sirius wracked both his hands through his hair. "That's not fair. You can't just get me to decide like this on the spot before I've even had time to process this! This isn't fair for you to just expect me to suddenly want kids just because you're pregnant! I told you I didn't want kids and it was something I thought we agreed on!"
"We've had one conversation about kids, Sirius. Just the one and for Merlin's sake Sirius I assumed that somewhere down the line when we weren't eighteen and stupid that we'd change our minds and do the stuff that normal couples do!"
"There you go, expecting me to grow up again!"
"I'm not expecting you to do anything, Sirius! Growing up just happens! We've all got to grow up at some bloody point!"
"So that's it, you're pregnant and now you're all grown up and you can have a kid? Just like that you're ready?"
"Not just like that!" Ella said. "I am terrified. I was when I found out and I still am but, she fished the ultrasound photo out of her pyjama pocket and showed it to him. "That's a baby in me. So tiny and miraculous and it's ours. Half me, half you and I love him or her or whatever this baby grows to be. I love it and it's like nothing I've ever felt before," Ella told him with a small smile, one hand on her tummy the other still holding the photo.
Sirius' eyes were transfixed to the photo and for the first time, Ella felt a glimmer of hope but Sirius tore his eyes away and strode to his bike. "Yeah, well, I was never good at love." The door opened on it's own letting in a gust of cool air and Sirius strode out, bike in tow, the door closing behind him with a soft click.
James brought Lily back to Seaside Estate where his mum had graciously allowed them to share a room after a stern look and, "I doubt this is anywhere near either of your minds but just be safe."
"Be safe?" James echoed confused because Euphemia was right and it was far from his mind.
"Yes. Protection spells and the like. I won't have you making me a grandmother before you're married."
"Mum," James whined, his cheeks going pink and his only saving grace was that Lily was still asleep in James' bedroom in the morning when this unfortunate conversation occurred.
Lily had missed Euphemia all together last night. They'd flooed straight into the living room from Headquarters but Euphemia and Fleamont had been in their bedroom, already sleeping. James had requested Twinky to bring up some tea because it was a difficult time and they were British.
They'd sat up in bed, Lily curled into James as they cupped their steaming cups of peppermint and she fretted and cried and worst of all, tried to blame what had happened on her.
"My sister's going to say that this never would have happened if I weren't a witch," Lily sniffed. "And for the first time, she's going to be right. She blamed my being a witch for everything. For us not being as close as we were and for her hair not turning out right and for the flowers blooming in the middle of winter. But she was never right. We weren't as close as we were before because she shut me out and her hair didn't turn out right because the hair dryer broke and the flowers only bloomed in the middle of winter because that was the year dad built a mini greenhouse in the backyard. But this," she shook her head, "This only could have been prevented if I weren't a witch."
"I don't believe that for a second. If you weren't a witch who's to say you wouldn't be headlining the Daily Prophet right now as one of those random muggle families attacked and murdered by Death Eaters for sport? Who's to say the Ministry wouldn't be covering up your death to a gas leak or whatever usual bullshit they spread to the muggle authorities? You being a witch, saved your life. I'm just sorry that it couldn't save your mum too."
"It doesn't make any sense but I miss her already but not enough time has passed to miss her yet but I do. My whole heart aches, James."
James held her until she fell asleep wishing he could take her pain for her and he stayed awake long after she'd fallen asleep, his brain turning and turning. Wondering how Voldemort could have known that both James and Lily would be at the Evans house that night. True dinner had become a sort of regular occurrence, a tradition even, at the Evanses on Friday or Sunday night depending on their schedules, but only their friends would have noticed and known. Only their friends would have known that this week they'd chosen Sunday night. Unless they were being watched. That made James even more uneasy. Were they being watched because of Bellatrix? She had warned him that Lily's family would be next. Was this his fault? The question plagued him until he too had fallen asleep in the early hours of the morning.
Lily looked lost as James led her back into the house now and he wondered if perhaps she needed more sleep. She'd tossed about the night before so even though she'd slept longer than James he knew it wasn't restful. She was usually so still when she slept only shifting occasionally.
"Oh my sweet girl," Euphemia burst out of the drawing room and enveloped Lily in a huge, motherly hug. "I'm so glad you're all right and I'm terribly sorry about your mother. She was a lovely woman."
"T-thanks for letting me stay," Lily sobbed clutching Euphemia back and it was all James could do to keep his own tears from falling.
"None of that," Euphemia leaned back to look Lily in the eyes, "You're family. You'd be welcome to stay even if you suddenly realised you were too good for my no good son."
Lily laughed through her tears before breaking down again and Euphemia pulled her into another hug. Euphemia extended an arm to James and waved him over. James joined the hug and the three of them stood, hugging in the middle of the foyer for what felt like a frozen moment in time until Lily stopped sobbing.
"Oh, I've blubbed all over your robes," Lily frowned inspecting Euphemia's blush robes.
"Never mind that. Now, we're going to go sit out on the terrace. I don't want you shutting yourself up in the house. You need fresh air and sun to help you heal … and lots of chocolate ice cream I think. James, why don't you two go ahead and I'll see what I can scrounge up in the kitchen." It was more of an order, James knew. Euphemia was giving them a few minutes before she barely let Lily out of her sight.
"Mum's going to hover today, she's going to insist on all sorts of things that she believes helps to heal the soul like sun and ice cream and looking at the stars."
"It's not the most orthodox thing to do in the muggle world but honestly sunshine and ice cream sounds perfect right now."
James wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him and kissing her temple. "One more thing, Lils. What mum said before about you being family … she's right. You are family. You're my family. I love you, Lily and I know that this is about your mum but I just want you to know without doubt that you're not alone. You have us and you have me. All of me."
Lily nodded, sniffling her nose and she wrapped her arms around his torso as they walked to the terrace so she was hugging him from the side. "I love you, too, James."
Marlene was adding notes to a patients chart in a break room when Maria sat down opposite her with a bottle of orange juice and a sandwich wrapped in plastic. She slid across both the orange juice and the sandwich over to Marlene and they stopped just in front of the chart.
"What's this for?"
"Marls, you've been in here for hours fixing patient charts. It's not like you!"
"Healer Bodie asked me to do some charts."
"You requested if you could fix her charts."
Marlene clicked her tongue. "How'd you find out?"
Maria shrugged. "Asked around. Now are you going to tell me why you've locked yourself up in here and what it has to do with that patronus last night?"
"What patronus last night?"
"Don't act dumb. I saw it last night. It faced you and it looked as though it was telling you something and whatever it told you wasn't good."
Marlene scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous. Patronuses don't talk much less give bad news. That patronus was obviously cast by someone who'd drunk too much."
"Then why'd you scarper so quickly after that? And what's the matter with you now?"
Marlene sighed. Maria would only go away if she told Maria something substantial and she obviously couldn't explain about the patronus Ella had sent so that left the other thing. "A friend of mine … her mother died." It was as truthful as she could get without getting into the messy details of the Order and Voldemort and besides Marlene couldn't say anything about it even if she wanted to.
"Oh, that's terrible! How'd she pass?"
"A muggle illness. My friend is muggle-born."
"I'm so sorry for your friend … I can cover for you if you want to skip out an hour early."
Marlene started to decline but then stopped herself. "That would be so nice. Are you sure though?"
Maria waved Marlene off. "Go. I'll say you weren't feeling well."
"Thank you so much!" Marlene gushed. "Honestly, I owe you one!"
Maria shrugged with a small smile on her face and said, "Maybe one day you'll tell me the truth about how your friend's mother died and about the patronus."
"I have," Marlene said.
Maria winked, "Sure you did. You better go before someone comes looking for you."
Marlene left the room not sure what else she could say to convince Maria of Marlene's obvious lies. With her newfound freedom Marlene went home to shower but as she walked up to her house she spotted Nate sitting up in his window and he spotted her.
"Romeo, Romeo, where art thou, Romeo?"
Marlene rolled her eyes but grinned. "It's 'wherefore art thou, Romeo?' you idiot."
"I wasn't expecting for another hour."
Marlene leaned against his fence. "Maria's covering for me."
"Your mum know to expect you?"
Marlene shook her head before yelping as Nate swung himself fully out the window and onto the small roof that jutted out under his window.
"What are you doing?" Marlene hissed. "You're going to fall and break your neck!"
Nate waved her off as he climbed down the side of his house, using the bricks as foot and hand holds. He dropped softly onto the grass and hopped over the fence.
"What'd you do that for?" Marlene asked. "You've a front door you know-"
But Nate cut her off with a kiss. "My family thinks I'm in my room. Yours thinks you're still at work."
"Oh."
Marlene grinned as Nate took her hand and they both started running from their houses and Marlene didn't have to ask where they were going. She recognised the way to the small park that edged onto a small wood. As kids they'd always been forbidden to go into the woods. As young teens they'd dared each other to go in fearing childish monsters and as young adults, the monsters turned out to be just trees and an awfully good place if you didn't want to be found.
They settled against one of the larger trees, Marlene with her back pressed to Nate's chest and her head resting on his shoulder with his arms wrapped around her and their hands clasped together.
"I haven't felt like this in a while," she murmured.
"What?" Nate asked.
"I don't know. No one's waiting on us. No one ready to burst in. No keeping the door open."
Nate chuckled at the last one. "Just a bunch of trees."
Marlene nodded and they both fell quiet to enjoy the moment but Marlene's mind wandered off on its own tangent.
"How do you think Dumbledore chooses who gets to join the Order?" Marlene asked.
"That's random."
"No, I know," Marlene sighed. "It's just sometimes I wonder why he picked us, you know? I mean apart from going to meetings, we haven't really done anything. Lily's got her mission and so do the boys and all I ever do is patch up someone's bumps and bruises. I just," she shrugged, "I don't know why he picked us."
"Somewhere down the line, you'll have to go on missions, Marls, and when you've almost died or end up in Mungo's you'll be wishing for the time when all you did was go to meetings and heal someone's bumps and bruises."
"But don't you ever wonder why?"
"Why what?"
"Why he chose us and not just me and you but all of us? I mean we're just out of Hogwarts what use could we be?"
"I don't know," Nate unhelpfully supplied. "I suppose he's got a plan for all of us. I mean maybe you're just meant to be a healer for the Order so we don't have to go to Mungo's. Maybe I'm supposed to just tell Dumbledore of new muggle-borns so that we can better protect their families. I think we've all got our part however big or small."
Marlene on some level agreed but she wanted to know how Dumbledore's mind worked, what his plans were. It had been eight months since they had all joined and Marlene couldn't see any change in this war. Voldemort still grew stronger by day and now, Lily's mum had died for something that didn't even make sense.
"It's weird that Voldemort wanted Lily to join, isn't it?" Marlene asked.
"It is but," Nate hesitated.
"But what? Do you think it's Snape?"
"I mean maybe?" he said unsurely. "And Mulciber."
"Who? Dominique?"
"No Francis. They work together, Mulciber's waiting around for whatever Lovegood wants to create and Lily's there making sure that whatever Lovegood creates doesn't end up in Mulciber's hands but to do that, they've become friends-"
"Fake friends," Marlene cut in.
"Yes but he doesn't know that even with the truth potion stunt. Lily said under veritaserum that she wasn't in the Order. Now, maybe Voldemort wants her because Mulciber would have relayed to him that Lily is exceptionally close with her mentor, Alexina Lovegood. I mean, Lily's in the perfect position to steal notes and the likes from Lovegood something that could be valuable to Voldemort. Not to mention her boyfriend stole something from him, something he seems to want badly."
Marlene understood what he was saying but still … "She's a muggle-born. It doesn't make sense. He was probably just going to use her for something and then get rid of her." The realisation made Marlene sick to her stomach so she changed the subject to lighter topics like the latest annoyances in her cousin's most recent phone call. They chatted quietly and uninterruptedly for two hours before they went home — Nate sneaking back up to his open window and Marlene entering her home as though she had only finished work an hour ago.
They both showered and dressed before meeting up again to head to the Potters for dinner and to see Lily.
Lily walked into the front door of the empty house not knowing how she was meant to say goodbye. This was where she'd grown up and whilst she had a second home at Hogwarts this had always been home. Hogwarts had been filled with petty dramas and fights but here she'd always had unconditional love from her parents.
There was a creak from upstairs. A door opening and within a second Lily and James' wands were out and aimed up the stairs only to fall again when they saw Petunia.
"Sorry," Lily apologised. "We didn't know you were here yet."
"Thank you for dropping Lily off James but I think it's best you go."
"If that's what Lily wants," James said graciously.
"No, he's staying," Lily said to her sister before turning to James, "Please stay."
"Whatever you need," James assured her, taking her hand and squeezing.
Petunia made a sound of disapproval and Lily clucked her tongue, annoyed.
"What is it, Petunia?"
"He doesn't belong here. He didn't know our parents!"
"He knew mum plenty," Lily shouted, "He was willing to pledge himself to the most evil man alive to save mum."
"Funny that she's still dead."
"Can we just please pack the house up without fighting?" Lily asked crossly.
"It's just, if I knew you were bringing him I'd have asked Vernon."
"I never said you couldn't bring Vernon. He is … family." The word sounded too strong but he was Petunia's husband.
"Yes, well it's a Tuesday and he's working. I suppose James doesn't have a job."
"I do actually. I asked for the week off. It'll be a trying week with planning a funeral and Lily moving in."
"Moving in?" Petunia asked sharply.
"I'm moving into James' parents house until, I don't know," Lily sighed running a hand through her hair. "Until I figure out where to go from here."
James wrapped an arm around her and assured her that there was no stress about her staying with him at his parents house. "My parents love you and they've been bored since Sirius moved out."
"I know but it's not a permanent solution," Lily reiterated as she had several times over the past two days. Had it only been two days?
"We'll worry about permanent later."
"So you're not staying in the house?" Petunia asked seemingly surprised.
"Well no, that's why we're packing it up."
"I thought you just meant mum's things."
"Oh, no, I just assumed we'd be selling the house and without mum here," Lily swallowed hard. "It's too hard to stay besides my job is in London and from James' I can floo right into the Ministry."
"Yes, well, staying was never your biggest strong point."
"What's that supposed to mean?" James retorted.
"It means every year she got on a train and we'd never see her for nine months out of the year."
"You mean she was going to school."
"I mean she left."
"You know, personally, I could be wrong, I find it funny how personally you take Lily's schooling. Surely boarding schools are something even muggles have? Actually don't answer that because I know you do because I overheard your brute husband telling his relatives that Lily goes to a special boarding school for girls who are a bit, I think his words were, 'dim witted'."
"James," Lily said softly, "You don't have to-"
"Defend you? You're right I don't but I want to because frankly," at this James turned to Petunia, "you treat Lily like shit. My own mates treat Lily like more of a sister than I've ever seen you. And why? Because she's different? Because she has magic and you don't? Because she's everything you're not?"
Lily could feel it fatal blow. The one Petunia used for anything bad that had happened to their family and Lily could feel it coming now. She could see it all over Petunia's face. The thin lips pinched together, her icy eyes on fire. How many times had Lily seen that look right before Petunia slashed at her heart? "Because she's a freak!" It wasn't even the worst thing Lily had ever been called. Freak was pretty tame for an insult but Petunia had used it so much since Lily had gotten her letter that it cut deeper than anything else.
"So what if she is! She's your sister! She could have two heads, eight arms and four legs and she still wouldn't deserve how you've treated her."
"James, why don't we start packing up the living room. Petunia you can start with mum and dad's room." Lily towed James into the living room before Petunia responded and found herself apologising. "I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?"
"Because you were saying things I've been thinking my entire life and I just — I'm not mad at you. I just don't want to fight today. I want to pack up the house and go home."
James pulled her into a tight hug, stroking her hair softly. "Everyone's coming to dinner again but if you're not up to it."
"No, no, let them come. It's nice having family around." It was funny that word. Family. For a person who was technically family by marriage it felt too strong and yet for the friends she'd grown up with, family felt just the right word.