Lily walked over to Petunia, standing in front of their parents' graves. The service had been nice, well, as nice as a funeral service could be. They had her mother's favourite flowers — lilies and petunias — on top of the coffin and Petunia had read out a sweet eulogy that had Lily in tears. At the small Cokeworth cemetery, the sun beat down on them as Rosie Evans was lowered into the ground next to her husband and Lily had felt it, that finality. It would be well and truly over now. This was it and she didn't know if she could do it.

"This is the last time we're going to see each other, isn't it?" Lily asked quietly, breaking the silence. Merlin, knew Petunia wouldn't.

"That would seem to be for the best," Petunia agreed and Lily's heart broke as her fears were confirmed. She wasn't only saying goodbye to her mum today. She was saying goodbye to the very first family she had. She was the last Evans. "But perhaps an exchange of Christmas gifts would be acceptable."

Lily looked up at her sister, "Really?"

"Via post of course," Petunia said, smoothing out her dress before looking at Lily. "But yes. Pleasantries at Christmas."

Lily knew Petunia wouldn't particularly like a hug — she wasn't a hugger — but if this was the last time she would see Petunia for a while, well, Lily wanted a hug. So she surprised her sister by wrapping her arms tightly around her. Petunia was frozen for a moment before wrapping her arms lightly around Lily and patting her awkwardly on the back.

Lily stepped back and with a soft smile said, "Goodbye, Petunia."

"Goodbye, Lily."

Lily turned and saw James waiting for her, their friends waiting just behind him and walking away felt just that much easier.

He'd been avoiding her since their last fight in their flat. He'd been staying at the Potter's and though Euphemia tried to ask him about it, this was one thing he couldn't tell her. He couldn't tell Euphemia that he'd gotten Ella pregnant. He just couldn't not when he didn't know what he wanted.

He was even avoiding Ella right at this very moment. Hiding out in his old room whilst everyone was downstairs having an afternoon tea after Lily's mum's funeral. He wanted to be down there for Lily, he did but he just couldn't bare looking at Ella and down at her stomach where she was surely hiding a small bump with baggy robes. It was too much.

He wasn't ready for kids and he'd known that he'd never wanted them. Not when he was twenty or thirty or forty. He didn't want kids. Why would he want another person in the world to disappoint? Why would he want to run the risk of being burned by love even if it was from his own child? He'd screw it up somehow. That's who he was. He screwed up with Moony and Prongs and Wormtail. He screwed up with his own family. He screwed up everything and this would just be one more thing he could screw up.

The door opened and James poked his head in. "Lily sent me up to check on you. She thinks you've been avoiding Ella."

Perceptive little wench, Sirius thought with a hint of bitterness and pride. Sirius just shrugged.

"I think you are too."

Asshole, Sirius thought but he didn't say anything.

"Are you going to talk to me about it or are you just going to sit and sulk?"

"Sit and sulk," Sirius replied.

"What happened?" James pressed. "Did you guys have a fight? Because you two always fight so I'm sure whatever it is, you'll work it out."

Another reason why they shouldn't have a kid together. They weren't exactly the poster couple for world's happiest couple. If anyone should be having a kid it should be James and Lily, or Marlene and Nate, or hell, Alice and Frank — they were even married! But no, the universe decided to knock up Ella.

"You there?" James waved a hand in front of Sirius' face. "Come on, just tell me what's up."

Sirius groaned. "Ella's pregnant."

"She's what now?"

"Pregnant. With child. Bun in the freaking oven. Pregnant," Sirius repeated. Sirius rolled his eyes at James' shell-shocked face and fell onto his bed staring up at the ceiling. "I mean, what the actual living fuck right? What universe, deity, greater power or whatever the fuck controls this shit decided that out of all the couples to give a kid to, Ella and I would be the best suited? Like honestly! Honestly what the ever fucking fuck! And then she decides she wants to keep it and I can either get on board or get out of her — no their — lives after giving me like a fucking day to process! And I don't know what the fuck to do!"

"I — is she sure she's pregnant?"

"I wouldn't have been avoiding her all week if she wasn't."

"Yeah but has she been to see a heal — wait, what? She told you she's pregnant and you've been avoiding her ever since? Sirius, what the fuck?"

Sirius dragged a hand down his face, "Well what the fuck am I supposed to do? What if it was Lily? What would you do?"

"I don't know, maybe not avoid her for a week!"

Sirius groaned this is what he was talking about. He's not good at this stuff. He's not built for families. "Well, Merlin, James! She told me and then less then twenty-four hours later she was giving me a fucking ultimatum."

"And what'd you say?"

"I didn't say anything, I came here."

"You're an idiot. She's pregnant with your child!"

"So? It's hers too! And she's gone all fucking gooey on me talking about how much she loves the kid already and that she just knows that we'll be okay having a kid and just expecting me to be all okay with this! I'm not fucking okay with this!"

"So what? You're going to abandon her and the kid? You really wanna let your kid grow up without knowing you?"

"I don't know," Sirius said and he propped himself up on his elbows, "Maybe it's better that way."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, I'm not parent material. It means, I don't want to be a parent. I never did."

James frowned. "Well shit."

"Shit in-fucking-deed. So what's your master plan for getting me out of this one?"

James ran a hand through his hair but was saved from answering by a knock on the door.

"Sirius, it's me," Ella said through the door. "I know you've been avoiding me but can we please talk?"

James looked at Sirius who shook his head but James gestured to the door and said, "Step one." James opened the door and Ella looked surprised and then embarrassed.

"Oh, James. Hello."

"Hey," James, the prat, greeted. "He's all yours."

Ella stepped in as James stepped out and the door shut behind her softly. "So James knows then?"

"Ah, just told him. He asked and I just needed someone-"

"Relax, babe I'm not angry at you for telling your best friend. If I didn't have Marls I'd be going crazy."

"Marlene knows?"

"She does."

Sirius nodded. So four people knew about this little life he and Ella had somehow created. Sirius didn't say anymore so Ella started talking, telling him about due dates (August 16) and how the Healer would be able to tell them the gender in a few weeks and how she picked up a few baby books in Diagon Alley before sighing and, "Could you at least tell me if you're happy about it? Even if it's just some tiny minuscule part of you?"

"Happy about it? How can I be happy about bringing a person into this shit world?"

"You don't mean that!"

"Don't I? You of all people, Ella, you should understand why I don't want this! How could you still want this after what your dad did to you? After what my parents did to me?"

"Because we aren't going to be those kind of parents!"

"Damn right because I'm not going to be a parent at all!"

"Is that your decision then?"

"I — yes."

"Liar," Ella called his bluff and damn her to hell for being right. "You want this, I can see it on your face but you're being a god damned coward."

"You don't understand! I can't do this!"

"What? Love and care for a child? Your child!"

"Yes! All my life, family has only brought me pain and this feels like just setting myself and this child up for disappointment."

"James, Mrs and Mr Potter brought you pain?"

"It's not the same."

"Bullshit! Bull-fucking-shit! You better think about whether your fear is worth losing me and this baby for."

Sirius watched as Ella walked away this time and fuck, fuck, fuck. He didn't really have a choice did he?

Marlene sat in the gallery of the Healing Theatre watching as healers attempted to save the life of a nine year old girl who'd had the cruciatus curse used on her for at least, five minutes. It was heartbreaking that that wasn't the most heartbreaking fact of the night. Too add to the tragedy, to the horrendous cruelty that this little girl suffered, her mother lay motionless in an intensive care room, in a coma. Healers were battling against a dark curse that had sliced off her father's hand, a curse preventing the blood from clotting enough so they could heal it. He was slowly bleeding out in the Healing Theatre over. Her little brother was spewing crazy nonsense no one could understand and the Head of Injuries from the Dark Arts suspected some sort of curse, maybe even an Imperius curse gone wrong.

They were supposed to be learning through observation, at least, that's what the gallery was for but Marlene's heart was pounding in her head and all she could do was watch with hopeful thoughts that the little girl would pull through. It wasn't fair that someone so small was suffering and Marlene wondered yet again if there wasn't anything more she could be doing for the Order.

"It's frightening what they can do," Steven Socha, a resident healer, said. He was a serious fellow and Marlene always felt she could ask him questions without being judged. He was a few years older than most resident healers since he decided a few years of travelling were in order before he settled down and whilst travelling usually made people more carefree it seemed to have done the opposite for Steven. Steven was focused, organised and incredibly smart.

"Terribly," Maria agreed. "I don't know why the Ministry isn't doing anything more."

"Forget the Ministry. What about Dumbledore? He stopped Grindelwald. Some say he was the only one who could. I don't see why he can't stop this one. He isn't half as powerful as Grindelwald was when Dumbledore defeated him."

Marlene pursed her lips. If only they knew there was a whole organisation being led by Dumbledore but she did wonder at his hesitation. Steven did have a point about Voldemort not having reached his peak and with all logic, if Dumbledore should confront him now, surely he'd win, wouldn't he?

"We shouldn't have to rely on Dumbledore. He's nothing to do with the Ministry and I always found it weird that the Ministry doesn't have an army. Just the auror department and hit wizards."

Marlene snorted, "What's that equivalent to? The police and a SWAT team. I never thought about the fact we don't have a wizarding army. I suppose we don't have the numbers to always have one."

Steven frowned, "An army?"

"Yeah," Maria confirmed. "In the muggle world, each government has its own army to protect the country against outside or inside threats. They'd typically deal with the equivalent of this."

"Would you fight?" Marlene asked. "If there was an army?"

Maria huffed, "If girls were even allowed to join. I'd probably be reduced to an army healer. Steven could go on the field though. That'd be fun being right in the thick of things."

"I think fun is a little strong." Marlene remembered how it had felt sitting in the waiting room to hear about her friend's families. It had been the worst night of her life thus far and she hadn't even seen the terror that had occurred.

"It would just be, I don't know, an experience," Maria shrugged. "I'd always wondered what it was like in World War Two, on the battlefield."

"It was death and pain and destruction," Marlene said. "Not much different from this war except it's happening in people's homes in secret."

That was the thing about this war. There were no rules, no lines drawn, no borders to guard. The enemy was within, free to torment and torture as they saw fit. A wasp of smoke that nobody was trained to contain. Anyone could fight, experience or no. Anyone could die, deserving or no.

"So you wouldn't fight then?" Maria asked Marlene.

She looked down at the three healers working over the little girl who seemed to be close to consciousness now. She was writhing and whimpering on the table and Marlene's heart called out.

"I didn't say that. Of course I would fight." She already was. "It just wasn't something I ever wanted to experience."

"You said that in the past tense," Maria caught.

"What?" Marlene said.

"You said 'it wasn't something I ever wanted'. That's past tense. Is that the big secret then? You've found a way to fight?" She sounded almost hopeful.

Marlene rolled her eyes, "Don't be ridiculous. I just got a little tongue twisted. I have been up all night you know."

Maria scrutinised Marlene for an excruciating minute before turning to Steven. "What about you then? Would you fight if the Ministry had an army?"

"Yeah, I would if it meant all this stopped just that much sooner. How do armies even work?"

Maria launched into an explanation, talking about how people usually volunteered and received training and a salary for their time but how during time of war, people were conscripted. Marlene tuned out all of that talk as it led to a discussion on the muggle world wars and wondered, seriously wondered, if she should suggest to Dumbledore to invite Maria, and even Steven, into the Order.

Despite her nosy nature into Marlene's business, Marlene got the vibe as though Maria was hoping Marlene was secretly fighting against Voldemort. Maria herself said she'd fight in an army and the Order, well, it wasn't an army but it was as close as the wizarding world had to one. Wasn't that something? A group of degenerates — of trainees, reporters, Ministry employees, Quidditch players, store owners — led by the school's Headmaster was the closest thing to an army against Voldemort. This 'army' of sorts could use a few more healers, Marlene considered.

How did one even go about talking to Dumbledore about that? Was it even done or was Nate right in saying that Dumbledore chose specific people to carry out specific parts of some grand plan that apparently only he was privy to? So maybe she didn't go straight to Dumbledore. Maybe she started with someone a bit higher up but still in a leadership position. Moody. He was terrifying though and Marlene wasn't entirely sure he wouldn't bit her head off about some sort of constant vigilance lecture if she proposed bringing more people into the Order. Someone a little lower than, someone more of a friend but knew more about how the Order worked.

Then it hit her. Emmeline. Alice's sweet, older sister who had suggested to Dumbledore they turn to Hogwarts alumni for new recruits. Yes, Marlene decided, Emmeline was the safest bet and so she vowed to talk to Emmeline about it at the next meeting.

"Something's wrong," Steven inched forward in his seat and so did the girls.

The little girl, Anna Kypreos, was convulsing so strongly the healers couldn't hold her down. One of them waved her wand over her and she fell still but the three healers all looked nervous, almost scared. One touched two fingers to the girls neck and shouted, waving his wand over the girl's heart in an all to familiar pattern.

It was one of their first classes — resuscitation. He was performing the resuscitation spell and by the looks of it, it wasn't going well because a moment later, he chucked his wand aside and tried the muggle way, pumping into her tiny body, trying to bring her back but it was no use. The healer slumped his shoulders and pronounced Anna Kypreos dead at six forty-two in the morning despite trying to save her life for the last six hours.

They'd been reduced to secret chats whilst Lily left the room. None of them knew what to do with the knowledge they now had and the knowledge they didn't have. The recipients of the fatal potion was clear but not how they intended to distribute it. They knew neither when or where and were at a loss at how to protect people from this. Every morning they scrounged through the Daily Prophet just to make sure that no one, muggle or wizard, had suffered from the potion. It hadn't seemed like they'd used it yet.

"It has to be soon though, right?" Peter said for the millionth time. "They wouldn't inoculate people if it wasn't soon."

"Yeah but there was only like what five hundred people at that wedding," Sirius considered. "Maybe there are a few more families they want before they start."

"Like who?"

"The Vance's, the Prewett's, the Weasley's, Meadowes', Shackelbolt's. There are so many pure-blood families that aren't on the Sacred Twenty-Eight," James told them.

"Like your family," Lily popped into the room and James winced.

"Couldn't find mum?"

Lily shook her head. "What are you guys on about?"

The four boys glanced at each other before James sighed. He couldn't and shouldn't keep this from her. She had every right to know.

"Remus and Peter found these in Malfoy's place on their mission last Sunday." James handed her the pages and Lily's eyes wracked over them, her hands shuffling the pages around, eyes widening as she speed read.

"You waited a week to come to me about this? This is Snape's handwriting and for god's sake I'm the best at Potions out of the lot of you!"

"We didn't want to worry you," Peter defended. "With your, er, mum and all."

"That's very sweet Peter, but I'm less concerned with my mourning period and more concerned with thwarting whatever backwards plans this bastard has set in motion." Lily glanced down at the pages, pulling them closer to her face, her mind whizzing as she read the recipe.

"It was protected, poorly," Remus said. "Couldn't touch them but I could duplicate them without transferring the shocking jinx."

"Still using his old tricks," Lily muttered. "He made that spell to stop his mother from going through his stuff in fourth year."

"He created that jinx!" Peter's jaw dropped. "It's so strong it flung me into a wall."

"Well, they definitely didn't want anyone going through that."

"Wormy's exaggerating. He was a rat at the time. I think if a person touched it, it'd be equivalent to a shock of some sort."

"This recipe," Lily shook her head, "If taken, it'll be fatal."

"We thought as much. The antidote recipe said people attending the wedding would be inoculated, but I don't understand why they would need inoculating against their own poison. They couldn't be stupid enough to take it themselves."

"No," Lily breathed, "No but they're smart enough to know a way to spread this across an entire city within twenty-four hours."

"What do you mean?"

"It all makes sense! Why Mulciber is interested in Lovegood's spell. It makes sense — I mean this is exactly what Meadowes and Gideon were scared of and if this spell is any indication — Lovegood can never succeed. I need to get to Meadowes, see if she can shut this project down before Lovegood gets any further that's the only way to be certain that Mulciber doesn't get what they need to make this possible."

"All this rambling is really cute but can you get to the part where you tell us what you lot are trying to concoct in that lab?" Sirius cut in.

"It's a spell, a charm that'll make a potion airbourne. The way Lovegood intends it to be used is for medical emergencies. Like an outbreak of the flu or other sicknesses, just make a batch of potion and spread it hospital wide, Ministry wide, city wide and you'll be wiping out the outbreak within a day or two. But-"

"Are you saying that if they get their hands on this spell and this potion they could wipe out everyone except for elitist pure-bloods who are conveniently inoculated?" James cut in.

"Well shit," Remus remarked.

"Bad time to fall out with the family, Pads," Peter commented.

"Yeah but we have the antidote we can just recreate it and-"

"We can't inoculate every single person in London," Lily cut in. "Besides we don't even know where they want to use it. They could want to use it at Hogwarts, at the Ministry, Diagon Alley. It's impossible to know."

"Okay but we can start with Order members. Make it, distribute it out so they can pass it out to their friends and family. I mean, it isn't everyone but it's a start, right?" Peter asked.

"Better than only having Voldemort's supporters immune to it," James agreed.

"I don't understand how they could intend to use it. If they use this, it can wipe out most of London to apocalyptic levels. There'll be hardly anyone left."

"Except for them to pick up the pieces," Sirius said darkly.

"No, we start with what Peter said. We make the antidote distribute it to members of the Order, tell them to discreetly sneak it to their friends and family and hope that we can prevent any of this from being necessary. Dumbledore can even have it distributed across Hogwarts." James turned to Lily, "Can you make the antidote?"

"It seems straight forward enough but I don't have the time! I start work tomorrow and this potion requires at minimum," Lily glanced over the antidote recipe quickly, "Six hours."

"So take a few more days off and say that you just need more time since your mum," Sirius suggested.

"And leave Mulciber unsupervised around Lovegood? No. I need to go in, talk to Meadowes, update Gideon and keep an eye on Mulciber until we can get this whole thing shut down."

"Maybe dad can do it," James suggested.

"That's — do you think he'd do it?" Lily asked.

"He is a great potioneer and he is funding the Order, what's a bit of time out of his day?"

"He'll ask questions," Remus pointed out. "Questions we can't answer."

"He knows that," James assured them. "If it's for the Order he'll know better than to ask. I'll ask him if he can do it and Lily can keep an eye on Mulciber."

James wrapped an arm around Lily and she nestled her head into the crook of his neck, the sweet coconut smell of her hair filling him with warmth. He'd make sure she was inoculated as soon as dad finished the first batch. There was no way he was having her running around the city when she could just die at any point. He was all she had left and by Merlin was he going to make sure she was safe until the very end.

"Are you sure you're ready to go back?" James asked as they lay in bed in the morning, facing each other.

"You're going back," Lily pointed out.

"Yeah but she wasn't my mum. So are you sure?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "A week was good but if I don't get out, I'm going to go crazy. Besides, with what I found out last night, I really have to talk to Meadowes and Gideon."

"Speaking of that, I had a chat with dad last night."

"And?"

"He said he'll work on it today."

"That's good," Lily murmured.

"It is. You know what's not?" James kissed her nose. "We gotta get up." Lily wrinkled her nose in displeasure and James chuckled. "You're the one who wanted to start back at work."

Mornings starting off at James' house was different. Instead of going into the kitchen to make her own breakfast and pack a lunch, she was greeted by Euphemia and all three house elves who had a breakfast spread already set out on the counter and a plastic container packed with leftovers from last night's dinner.

James and Fleamont came down as well and the four of them ate breakfast together, chatting amicably before James and Lily flooed to their jobs — James to the Puddlemere United stadium and Lily to the Ministry.

The Ministry was the same as always. Witches and wizards bustling about, a blur of black and grey robes and the white noise of chatter from a crowd. Lily made her way down to the Charms Development Department and went straight to Meadowes' office, knocking on the door sharply.

"Come in!"

Lily wasted no time entering and said, "We need to talk."

Meadowes gestured for Lily to sit and Lily did before launching into the potion and the dangers of Lovegood's spell.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you need to shut down Lovegood's project."

"It's not that simple," Meadowes frowned. "The Director of St Mungoe's is willing to pay the Ministry a very large sum for this charm. If we pull Lovegood's project, we'll lose half our funding!"

"So then we lose half our funding! If Lovegood succeeds and Mulciber gets it," Lily shook her head, "It'll be a catastrophe."

"Your job is to make sure that Mulciber doesn't get it," Meadowes reminded her coldly. "Not to say we should pull a worthy project. Do your job, Evans."

Lily, however frustrated and angry, recognised the dismissal and left Meadowes' office only to bump into an old familiar face.

"Mr Bodine!" Lily greeted.

"Miss Evans," he smiled kindly. "I was very sorry to hear about your mother."

"Thank you, that's very kind of you."

"Say, Miss Evans, would you like to come visit the Potions lab? There's something — very top secret — that I'd like to show you."

"Me?" Lily said surprised.

"I did invite you at Slughorn's party and I must say I was quite disappointed when you didn't take me up on the offer."

Lily wasn't stupid enough to believe Bodine's reasoning but humoured him. "Oh well, I suppose I have a bit of time before work starts."

"Wonderful. Follow me."

Lily followed two steps behind Harland Bodine, if a little cautiously. The Potions Department wasn't all that far away from the Charms Department, just down a corridor and up two flights of stairs and all up, a mere five minute walk.

The Potions lab had a haze to it. And a stench. Cauldron's bubbled and sizzled over controlled flames, a frazzled person standing over it. Lily couldn't help but smile softly at the wizard with singed eyebrows and grinned stupidly at the witch who looked like she had cured death from how she was celebrating.

"Now this is probably a little smellier than you're used to," Bodine said and Lily waved him off. Bodine then started pointing out different projects. The singed eyebrowed wizard was trying to concoct a potion that turned any substance into drinkable water. The celebrating witch had succeeded in creating a potion that would work as a shield against jinxes and hexes.

"You can imagine why the Ministry is very interested in that. If you know anyone who works at St Mungoe's you'll know that most people can't even properly perform a shield charm — a lot of those people, I'm afraid we found out, are in fact in this department. Now, here is the project you would have been assigned, had you chosen potions instead of charms. Miss Evans meet Mr Bede Damocles. He is working on a cure of sorts for the ailment known as lycanthropy. It will be called the Wolfsbane Potion."

Lily stopped for a moment, her mind processing his fancy words into simpler ones and then blurted, "A cure for werewolves?"

"It's not a cure," Mr Damocles, a short grey and bearded man, said gruffly and that may be just the perfect word to describe Damocles. He was gruff from his falling apart shoes to his grey patched up robes to his grey hair that tufted out on the sides like some bizarre cartoon character.

"Not a cure," Bodine confirmed. "Just something to help werewolves keep their human minds during transformations."

"That's amazing," Lily breathed thinking of Remus. "Will it make the process hurt less?"

"What do we care about making it hurt less?" Damocles asked. "We are concerned with protecting people."

Lily frowned at that. "But every bone in their body breaks during the transformation. Surely that's also a concern."

"You seem to know a lot about it," Damocles accused.

"Just what we're taught in school. That werewolves are vicious and inhumane. It seems the werewolves aren't the inhumane creatures though."

Lily knew she shouldn't be smart mouthing someone who is clearly so much higher up and smarter than she is but she couldn't help it. She thought of Remus and his kinder than Jesus nature and she couldn't fathom how people could act like his pain and his woes didn't matter. It didn't matter to them that he was sick for the three days surrounding the full moon. It didn't matter to them that Remus couldn't hold a job longer than six months less someone figure it out and it certainly didn't matter to them that he never asked for any of this.

Damocles narrowed his eyes at Bodine. "Who's she? Why is she here? You're disrupting my concentration."

"This is Lily Evans. The girl we offered the internship to."

"Turned it down, didn't she? Why she here now? This is meant to be top secret. Minister's orders."

"By my invitation. She works down in Charms Development under Lovegood."

"Who?"

"Oh nevermind," and then more quietly so only Lily could hear, "you old bastard." He gestured for Lily to follow him so that they were just out of earshot of Damocles.

"Forgive me, Mr Bodine, but I'm still a little confused as to why you're showing me this. If what Mr Damocles says then you could get into quite a bit of trouble by showing me this. Not that I'm not grateful, of course."

"Of course," Bodine allowed. "I must admit, my reasoning for showing you isn't quite as honest as I made it out to be. I've been trying to get Mr Potter, that is Fleamont Potter, in here to look over Damocles' work. Old blighter says he's too old to stand over a cauldron nowadays but well, back in the day he mentored Damocles. Damocles, well, let's just say some of us assume he's a little mad, a genius but mad to the bullocks and I just want to make sure that, er, Mr Damocles isn't creating anything, uh, lethal."

"Lethal?"

"Damocles sympathies, as you could gather, aren't exactly with the species who will be drinking this potion. It was why we wanted him to have an intern. He picked you but — well, you turned us down."

"Species?" Lily laughed. "You make them sound like foreign aliens. They're people, Mr Bodine, and I do not appreciate you insinuating that I'm at all to blame because as an intern I'd expect to be babysat a little not babysitting my mentor. And pardon me for overstepping, Mr Bodine, but a person who has no sympathies for a specific group of people the supposed remedy is for has no business making it in the first place."

"Well, yes, yes of course. Would you pass this on to Mr Potter? You understand how imperative it is."

"I can pass along the message," Lily said stiffly.

Lily kept a stern eye on Mulciber throughout the day and stiff could be the word to describe her conduct through the day. Gideon warned her to get the stick out of her arse or she may as well confess to being in the Order to Mulciber and she tried not to think about things but it was all there, circling and circling, chasing each other like a dog and it's tail. Between the vague knowlegde of Death Eater plans to kill the majority of London and who knew what else and what Mr Bodine had exposed to her, it was a wonder she could concentrate on anything at all.

"Lily, dear, would you like to take a few more days off?" Lovegood slid into the seat next to Lily.

"No, no, of course not. Why do you ask?"

"You've been staring at that page for ten minutes."

Lily smiled. "Just working through a problem," she lied, well, sort of. She was working through a problem just not the one she was being paid to solve. Lily was simultaneously trying to figure out how to get her hands on the Wolfsbane Potion and how to keep Mulciber away from Lovegood's spell when she figured it out.

"Well, what have you got so far?" Lovegood asked pulling Lily's notes in front of her and tugging Lily's mind away from Death Eater plots and plots of her own and towards charm theory.

Marlene walked through headquarters, fiddling with the tips of her hair. It was bustling as it always was during a meeting — Lily, Gideon and Dorcas Meadowes were arguing by the window in the main drawing room.

"I just don't understand," Lily huffed. "You're the head of the department! Surely you have a say in what projects do and don't run."

"And surely you can get Mulciber kicked off the project," Gideon sided with Lily.

"I need justification and without any proof that Mulciber's a Death Eater or doing something wrong, I can't kick him off the project unless we want some brown nosing official sniffing around — and may I point out that the only thing they're going to find wrong with the department is you, Gid."

"If Mulciber is kicked out, I'll gladly leave and let Lils alone to her tinkering with Lovegood," Gideon proposed and Marlene shook her head as she turned away from that conversation and noticed the Marauders — minus Remus — sitting around a table where a parchment lay spread across it, various markings here or there.

"That corridor only runs for six meters not nine, Padfoot!" Peter knocked the quill out of Sirius' hand.

"That is six meters!"

"No, it's nine, you're using the old scale again," James shook his head.

"I don't see why we had to change the scale in the first place it worked perfectly well for the first map," Sirius grumbled.

"And this is why we agreed Moony would be the main cartographer," James sighed. "Pads, hand over the quill. Where is the blighter anyways? He was supposed to be here an hour ago."

None of that conversation made any sense to Marlene apart from the fact they were making a map of some sorts but finding it of no further interest, Marlene once again turned away, eyes scanning the room until she eyed Emmeline with Fabian, Alice and Frank at the end of the room.

"… So we get into our room and it is falling apart," Frank said, "And I mean the ceiling was ready to collapse."

"It wasn't that bad," Alice chided.

"Honey, a chunk of it fell out when we closed the door."

"It was a little bit bad," Alice wrinkled her nose holding up her thumb to her index finger to indicate just how bad and Frank shook his head and grabbed Alice's hands and spread them as far away as possible.

"That's how bad it was," he corrected and Alice let out a pearly laugh filled with happiness.

"Marly!" Alice waved Marlene over. "We're just going over honeymoon stories the hotel we were supposed to stay at messed up our booking so we had to stay in this travesty of a hotel."

"You call it a travesty and yet insist it wasn't that bad," Emmeline crooked an eyebrow at her sister.

"It was funny!" Alice insisted. "We were laughing the entire time."

"Ah, can't be that bad of a time if you two were laughing during," Fabian wagged his brows to finish his sentence suggestively and Alice blushed but Frank said, "Well, it'd be lying to deny it. The bed literally broke and it was hysterical."

All five of them burst into laughter. "Holy shit you actually broke the bed!" Fabian wheezed. "Now that's a honeymoon story."

Alice and Frank told a few more stories about their time in Italy, all of them causing fits of laughter to everyone hearing them, before Marlene asked to speak to Emmeline alone. They separated from the rest of the group and headed for a quieter corner.

"What is it? You look serious."

"No, no, it's not like bad serious just … I was wondering how everyone in my year, well, how we got asked to join. Was that just something Dumbledore decided?"

"No, actually, I knew Alice would want to fight in something like this and it just had me thinking that other students in her year might be interested in fighting to so I brought it up at a meeting once and Dumbledore thought about it and you lot were at the first Order meeting of the summer."

"That's it?"

Emmeline shrugged. "Yeah. I mean obviously he would have asked you guys and talked about it but the decision to ask you was ultimately Dumbledore's. Why do you ask?"

"There's just some people I work with and I, well, I think they'd be interested in fighting and they're good people. Healers, which is good because I know some people get hurt during missions."

"You should bring it up at the meeting tonight," Emmeline encouraged. "We could always use more people."

"Oh, I don't, I don't know about that." Marlene realised how that sounded and set of quickly to correct herself. "About bringing it up tonight, not about needing more people."

Emmeline laughed and nodded. "Well, there's no time like the present and the worst that happens is Dumbledore says no and that's that. Nothing to lose from asking."

Marlene almost uttered the words 'my dignity' before smiling. "I'll think about it. Thanks, Em."

The meeting started soon after and everyone congregated around the large wooden table in the kitchen — somehow the Order had outgrown the dining room for its larger meetings. Marlene knew of so many of the faces, mostly her class-mates from school — Helena Bonham in particular stood out with a nasty bruise around her left eye and Polly Piggens was next to her with a thin pink scar running across her cheek, evidence of a mission gone awry surely and it struck Marlene. Even they had been assigned a mission so why not Marlene? Why had Marlene not been asked to be involved in a mission?

Marlene had rather lost track of what Dumbledore was saying — a skill she'd honed in Hogwarts — until Emmeline spoke up from right beside Marlene and Marlene chided herself. If she'd been paying attention she could have avoided this.

"Marlene knows some people she thinks may be interested in joining the Order," Emmeline piped in a loud clear voice so everyone heard and Marlene dug her elbow into Emmeline's side.

"Is that so, Miss Adams?" Dumbledore asked and Marlene felt as though she were being called out in assembly.

"I, er, yeah. Just some friends from St Mungo's. Training healers."

"I concur they have names," Dumbledore prodded.

"Oh, yes. Maria Matthews and Steven Socha."

He nodded seriously. "I shall look into them."

Oh. That was easy. Dumbledore just, like, took Marlene's word for that which puzzled her. What if she'd referred a secret Death Eater? What if they were spies? What if they were secret agents under Bagnold to infiltrate the Order to shut it down? What if they wanted to poison the entire Order?

"Oh, come on," Nate laughed when she brought up these fears to him whilst they sat on her bed, Nate at the end and Marlene laying against the head board, her feet on his lap. "Seriously? Poison us? How would they know about us to want to poison us?"

"Duh! Spies!"

After Nate's laughter abated he assured her that Dumbledore was looking into it. He wasn't just taking her word on it, he'd be doing research on them — a background check of sorts — and that made Marlene feel slightly better before he moved onto other aspects of the meeting.

"Weird to think Hogwarts might be seriously attacked," Nate mused.

"Hmm?"

"Did you pay attention to anything?" Nate raised a brow.

"What's the point? It's not like I'm being assigned any missions, you know, like ever."

"I don't think I've ever heard you sound this bitter since Henry took the last ice-block last summer."

"Ha ha. What's this about Hogwarts anyways?"

"Didn't tell us much. Just that Hogwarts might be attacked by Death Eaters soon. Very soon."

"That's vague."

"The boys are on it apparently."

"Oh yes because 'the boys' isn't any less vague."

"Pete, Remus, James and Sirius."

"Oh, the Marauders."

Nate quirked a brow, "The Marauders. Is that like some dumb name you came up with for them because their names are too long to say all together?"

"Look it's what everyone calls them, just go with it."

Nate had an amused smirk on his face and Marlene nudged him with her foot, "Shut up," she smiled.

A potion that could help Remus even if it wasn't something made out of concern or sympathies for him and his kin but it was something. How many times had James said he had to talk Remus out of a spiral where he was convinced he was a monster? This potion, well this could solve all that. How could he be a monster if the wolf was still the human? If the wolf had the mind of Remus, he could have the certainty that he wasn't hurting anybody and the peace of mind, the freedom that comes with that. It wouldn't take the pain away but he'd have peace of mind.

Lily mentioned it all to Fleamont as she sat on a high stool beside his brewing antidote, one that she judged was going well.

"They suspect he's got an agenda," Fleamont huffed. "It's a wonder the stupid fools let him try to make it in the first place. I suppose he is the only one mad enough to try and create something containing wolfsbane — highly combustive not to mention lethal stuff if not done right. Gah!" he remarked surprising Lily. "Stupid, stupid idiots. This is why I never worked for those idiots. They don't care about the people they try to help, they just care about the next pay load of royalties and something like the wolfsbane potion," Fleamont whistled lowly, "they'd be raking in the royalties by just publishing the recipe."

"Monty, I need you to go and see Damocles and Mr Bodine," Lily said earnestly. Fleamont turned to look at her, the surprise written all over his aged face. "Not because of Mr Bodine or Damocles but for me. I need that recipe for … for someone I know."

He quirked his brow and he looked so much like James which is odd because Lily stood by her assessment that James favoured his mother's looks but that, that quirked brow with pursed lips and that curious expression that he sometimes got, that was Fleamont. "James, isn't a werewolf is he?"

Lily shook her head, "Why would you ask?"

"He does seem to disappear around a full moon. He thinks we don't notice but it was all I could do to keep Euphemia from scouring the woods for a wolf last summer." Lily laughed awkwardly and made a note to tell James that he really wasn't as discrete as he thought he was. "But then, Sirius moved in with us and they were both off disappearing so we wrote it down to a ritual of sorts."

"A pact actually," Lily corrected. "They wouldn't break it if their lives depended on it."

"They're loyal as a pack of wolves, mind the pun," Fleamont winked at her but Lily thought it was very much an apt description of the four boys. Maybe not a pack of wolves but a pack of sorts. A rat, a dog, a stag and a wolf. A funny pack but the most loyal you'd find anywhere. "If it is really that important, I will try to obtain the recipe for you."

"It is," Lily assured him, "And, well, I think James would also thank you greatly."

Fleamont looked at her for a moment as though trying to read on her face who among the people they were friends with was a werewolf. A loud pop accompanied by sizzling and hot liquid splattered onto her, searing her bare arm and singing her robes, an acidic smoke streaming into the air and filling her nostrils. A loud shout escaped her lips as she saw Fleamont.

His face was splattered with the same searing liquid — the exploded potion Lily realised with panic. No, no, no.

"JAMES!" Lily shouted. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" She jumped up grasping Fleamont's flailing arms as he tried to grab something he could catch his balance on. "Monty! Monty, are you okay? JAMES! MIA! ANYBODY!"

"Can't see!" Fleamont gasped, clutching Lily's forearms tightly and thundering footsteps down the basement stairs.

"I guess I'm any—what's going on?"

Lily turned. Sirius stood, mouth agape on the last stair.

"Quickly!" she ordered. "Help me get him to St Mungo's! Now!"

Marlene leaned in the doorway, James, his mum, Lily and Sirius were all seated around Fleamont's bed. They were waiting for a test to come back on the substance that had burned Fleamont and Lily. Waiting for the prospects was never fun and this one, whilst Marlene assumed it wouldn't be fatal, could lead to serious damage. Marlene had been allowed to fix Lily up but deep pink scars still wrapped around her forearms the shape of a hand — Lily said it was from when Fleamont had grabbed her.

"Healer Adams," a voice said behind her and she turned to see Healer Wright.

"Did you test the potion?"

Wright nodded. "He'll lose his eyesight in the left eye, hard to say about the right eye. Scarring will take years to fade out. You know them?"

"We've all known each other since first year Hogwarts. Same house."

"Well, then, maybe you should come with me to break the news. It's nice for the family to have a face they trust."

"I - I can't," Marlene said. She couldn't go tell Mrs Potter and James and Sirius that Fleamont's sight would be very limited from now on. That one eye would be lost forever and that they didn't know if he'd be able to see at all. She couldn't shatter their world like that.

"Adams, this is the job. You'll accompany me." Wright didn't wait for Marlene to respond, she walked in passed Marlene and she had no choice but to follow. The four of them all stood at the presence of Wright, eager to hear good news.

"Mrs Potter, we ran our tests on the substance and it's not entirely good. Your husband's left eye was hit with quite a lot of the substance and unfortunately, our tests revealed that the eye will be unsalvageable. He will be blind in his left eye. As for his right, it wasn't hit with as much as the left however, we won't know how much he will be able to see from that eye until he wakes up, which I suspect will be soon. As for the scarring, and this pertains to you as well, Miss Evans, it'll take years to fade and I do recommend applying dittany twice a day, once in the morning and once at night, it'll hopefully help the scarring fade much quicker."

Marlene didn't know how Wright could say all that in a minute without faltering, without pausing, without hesitating. She just changed these people's lives, gave Mr Potter his life sentence, and she just charged through like a bullet cutting through the air.

"Not entirely good?" Sirius croaked. "None of that is good!"

"Sirius," Mrs Potter warned in a quiet voice. "The good news is that it's not fatal. Thank you, Healer Wright."

Wright, recognising her dismissal, walked out of the room but Marlene stayed for a moment and Lily walked over to her, gesturing to head outside together. Lily turned to Marlene in the middle of the corridor.

"It's my fault." Lily shook her head, a tear in her eye.

"Hey, don't say that," Marlene frowned.

"But it is. He shouldn't have been making that potion in the first place. There's a reason he's retired and it was my job. It should've been my job. If I had just done it — if I had just had the time! He wouldn't be-"

Marlene pulled her into a hug. "This is not your fault. Mr Potter just got really unlucky."

"Lils? You okay?" Marlene glanced over Lily's shoulder and saw Sirius leaning, all so cool if it weren't for his puffy, red eyes, against the door frame.

"Fine. I'm fine." Lily pulled away, using her palms to wipe her tears away before turning to Sirius. "See? Fine."

"Sure you are," Sirius said.

Lily didn't retort to his sarcastic remark, instead she just walked passed him back into the room leaving Marlene facing Sirius in the corridor. She hadn't seen him since the wedding, since Ella had said everything had fallen apart.

"I wish she were here," Sirius said finally, surprising Marlene because she didn't have to ask who but she didn't know why he was telling her this.

"Is a baby really such a terrible thing?" Marlene asked softly.

"I don't know if I could do it."

"Do what? Be a dad?"

"No. Be a good dad."

It was a funny sight Sirius Black, a man who had been good at everything he'd endeavoured to do in life, standing in front of her scared out of his wits that he wouldn't make a good dad. Marlene smiled softly. "You do want kids. You're just scared."

"That's what Ella said."

"She's right."

"She usually is that one. Can you tell her … tell her I miss her."

"I will and Sirius, for the record, I think you'd be a great dad."

His lips twitched ever so slightly into a smile and he pushed off the wall, heading back into the room.

Author's Note: Hello everyone! I'm so sorry that it's been so long :/ but life has been busy and the next two and a half chapters are done - there's only one sub plot i need to get started in the next chapter and as soon as i figure out how to do that and make it flow with the rest of the story, it will be up! Hopefully soon but don't quote me because i work two jobs in retail and my roster for my second job hasn't come out yet but I'm like 99.8% sure that between my two jobs I'll be working seven days a week in December but hopefully the next chapter is up before December! Fingers crossed!

To anyone with concerns that this isn't a 'what if' story, I promise this is a JILY LIVES fic, just a very long one lol but I do have a plan for them to survive october 31st, 1981 and then a whole lot more story after that ;)

On a side note, I am considering posting this on ao3 ... i've had an account for ages but mostly just to comment on people's stories, I never considered posting my own stories on there but I don't know, I feel like more people prefer AO3 now... hmmm we'll see

you guys know the drill, favourite, follow and of course, any authors favourite: REVIEW!

-Natalie xx