Amateurs At War

by natalie.ana

None of them could have predicted the ending but then again, none of them had thought it would start out the way it had. They were kids fighting in a war but somewhere along the line, they realised they wouldn't have it any other way.

48. Chapter 47: A New Normal

Remus folded the corner of his paper down to spy Sirius leaving his room at an unusually early hour.

"What are you doing up?"

"Is there a reason I can't be up?" Sirius countered.

"I had assumed old holiday-at-Hogwarts rules would apply for you. You know, no getting up before noon unless acted upon by a greater force."

Sirius scoffed. "Please, Remus, I am evolved."

"You weren't evolved last week when you declared that was your sole intention when you no longer had to and I quote 'get up at the crack of dawn to teach brats not to poke animals'."

"A lot can happen in a week. People change."

"Uh-huh."

"Is whatever you're not telling me also why James is suddenly not in Hogwarts?"

"What's with all the questions, Moony?"

"Seriously, where's James? We've barely been able to get him out of the common room and now he's been missing since yesterday morning. It's weird."

"Yeah, uh, he's taking a time out with Lily. She's not been feeling well and I think James is moving out of his asshole phase."

"Sirius," Remus admonished. "He's grieving."

"So am I and I didn't treat everyone like crap."

"People process things differently. Is Lily okay?"

"Lily?" Mary walked into the room, her head still sporting a rather spectacular birds nest. "Is she out of St Mungo's?"

"St Mungo's?" Remus frowned, turning back to Sirius. Something was definitely up. Something always was whenever Sirius was being cagey.

"Now you've done it, Mac," Sirius muttered.

"I'm sorry he was asking about Lily so I thought you'd told him," Mary explained.

"You said she wasn't feeling well."

"She's not feeling well in St Mungo's. I left out one tiny detail."

"That's not tiny! Is she okay? She's not hurt from some mission or something is she?"

"She fainted and Adams got a bit carried away and insisted Lily stay in St Mungo's for a night or two just to make sure she gets some rest and de-stresses a bit."

"Maybe I should go check-in on them. See if they need anything," Remus considered. "Can't be easy for the both of them to be back at St Mungo's given … everything."

"Oh, I'd love to see how Lily's doing too," Mary chimed and Sirius' scowl deepened further.

"You'd have to get through Marlene."

"I can handle Adams," Remus said confidently.

"Your funeral. She barely lets me in."

"That's because you don't have a calming presence."

Sirius scowled. "Look, mate, I'm sorry to tell you this but Lily and James just don't like you. But seriously they're not seeing visitors."

Remus studied Sirius. "You're not telling me something."

"I am not not telling you something!" Sirius mocked outrage. "How could you accuse me of such a thing?"

"Well, you're a liar for one," Mary piped.

"Shh, no one's talking to you, Donald."

"She's not wrong."

Sirius scowled. "Okay, you want the truth? James feels like a right prat for how he's been these last few weeks towards Lily and has asked me to keep visitors away to give them a chance to kiss and make up without interruptions. I'm sure they're both being very gooey and mushy whilst James apologises and re-declares his undying love for her whilst grovelling pathetically and you should consider it a public service that I'm trying to save you from having to see it in person!"

"Well, Jesus, Sirius, no need to get your wand in a knot. You could have just said that from the start."

Sirius flipped a smirking Remus the bird as he grabbed his wand off the table and then dipped his hand into the Floo powder jar. Remus furrowed his brows again.

"Where are you off to?"

"To see James and Lily."

"I thought you said they weren't seeing visitors."

"I told you, Moony." Sirius stepped into the fireplace. "They just don't like you."

The last thing Sirius saw before he was standing in the St Mungo's lobby was Remus flipping him the bird.

Remus turned to Mary. "I guess it's not going to be a very productive day."

"You should go and see your girlfriend. I know you're dying to."

Remus eyed her. He didn't know how he felt about leaving her in the castle practically alone. Sure, some of the teachers were still around and some students had stayed behind but Hogwarts was still relatively empty.

"You'll be all right on your own?"

"Absolutely fine. Besides, Peter's still around here somewhere, isn't he?"

"Ah, no. He went to go see his mum."

"Well, then, I'm finally getting some peace and quiet. Go on," she insisted.

"Just don't go doing any searching on your own," Remus requested.

"I've got a date with a book and a deal with a house elf who'll bring me biscuits and tea whenever I ask."

Remus smiled and after hesitating one more time, Mary said, "seriously, go." And Remus grabbed some Floo Powder and flooed directly into 7 Wurriah Lane, London.

Haley was sitting on the couch reading and she looked up and smiled when she saw it was Remus.

"I didn't know you were coming by today!" she exclaimed as he bent down to peck a soft kiss to her lips.

"Everyone else seems to have escaped Hogwarts. Thought I may as well too."

Remus sat at the end of the couch, lifting Haley's legs onto his lap.

"Where's everyone?"

"Well, apparently Lily's in St Mungo's which is where James is now. Sirius apparently went to visit them. Peter said he's visiting his mum. And I'm here."

"Mary?"

"Still at Hogwarts though by the time I get back she may have jumped ship as well."

"You don't seem very sure about everyone's whereabouts," Haley noted.

"Yes, well, Sirius was being weird about Lily and James."

"You don't think something's seriously wrong with her?"

"No, but I do think Sirius is not saying something. He wouldn't let me visit them."

"And you're sure it's not serious?" Haley asked and Remus frowned, turning to face her more. Her eyebrows were furrowed in and did her voice sound too eager to know?

"If it was serious, Sirius wouldn't be so flippant about it. Why are you so concerned about Lily anyways?" Remus asked.

She sighed at that. "I'm not 'so' concerned. I'm an appropriate amount concerned."

"For someone you've only met a handful of times. Does this have something to do with the prophecy you had about her? You said you'd tell me…"

"When it all made sense and it doesn't. I have no clue what any of it means and it's-"

"So tell me and I can help you figure it out. These are my friends and if there's something-"

"Don't you see? That's why I can't tell you. I don't want to have to put you in that position with your friends, your brothers," she shook her head. "Knowing is a burden and it isn't a burden you should carry. At least not yet. You have to trust me on that, Remy."

Remus finally sighed in defeat. He wasn't going to get anything about the prophecies out of her today.

"So what do you feel like doing today?"

The rest of the day went by rather uneventfully — that is until they crossed paths with Sirius in the afternoon again. A pretty fun day in Hogsmeade was dampened with the news that after Haley and Remus had left Headquarters, the Longbottoms, the Prewetts, and Emmeline had showed up and Gideon and Alice were badly hurt.

"Maybe I should stay here," Haley said quietly to Remus. "If there are people who're injured, it's probably best we don't overcrowd headquarters."

Sirius groaned. "If she's staying, I'm jetting."

"Where're you going?" Mary asked straight away, already getting up.

"Somewhere without you hopefully."

"Oh, come on, don't make me third wheel when you all abandoned — OW!"

Sirius snickered, stowing his wand back into his pocket. "And that's a point for me, ladies and gentlemen!" he took a theatric bow.

Remus rolled his eyes at the stupid game the two of them had created. Basically, they received a point if one managed to hit the other with a minor stinging hex. After nine days of madness — and sometimes being forced to referee — Remus was considering obliviating the both of them in their sleep to forget about the stupid game.

"Oh, you're gonna pay for that, Black!"

"Yeah, yeah, you coming or what?" Sirius asked her. "We might be able to catch James during dinner time."

Mary and Sirius noisily left through the floo — still threatening each other about their game — and then it was just him and Haley. And quiet.

"Well, this is new," Remus said.

"Is he ever going to warm up to me?" Haley asked, exasperatedly.

"He likes you. In his own way. He's mostly just doing it to annoy me. And you. And anyone in his general vicinity."

"Uh-huh. I see that with Mary. He flirts with her and teases her to annoy her but he likes her. He doesn't like me."

Remus laughed. "He does not flirt with Mary. They just hit it off because she gives it back to him."

"Uh-huh, whatever you say."

"Did you want Sirius Black to flirt with you? I should warn Ella."

She nudged him. "Don't be a sog."

"A sog?" Remus laughed. "That was very British of you. Where'd you hear that one from?"

"You hear some weird shit in the house in London."

"You could stay here and help us," Remus suggested. "Marlene said you've been free to go like a month ago."

"No, I know," she sighed. "I just, I don't want to take us too fast, you know?"

"You're not sure?" he asked, mildly concerned.

"I am so sure about you that it scares me," she declared.

"I'm pretty sure about you, too."

Haley smiled and squeezed his hand tight. "I just don't want to mess us up."

"And staying at Hogwarts is going to do that?"

"No — I don't know," she sighed.

It was everything else she was scared about but she couldn't tell him that. She couldn't tell him that she thought there was a very real possibility that one day he and his closest friends would be up against the darkest wizard since Grindelwald. She couldn't tell him any of that. Not yet. So where did that leave her? Where did that leave them?

"Stay tonight?" he asked.

She turned her head and couldn't resist his sweet blue eyes and nodded.

"Just tonight."

Remus spent the days leading up to Christmas between London and Hogwarts. Haley had been adamant at remaining at headquarters full time until she found herself an apartment.

James returned to Hogwarts when they said Lily was feeling better and back to work and on the first day, Remus sat by him at lunch.

"How's Lily doing?"

"Hmm — what?" James finally snapped out of his own head. "Oh, Lily — she's doing good. Back at work and everything."

All things considered, Sirius had been right about James. He might still be in his own head a little but he was coming out of it. Remus assumed not staying at Hogwarts and spending more time with Lily had something to do with it.

"That's good. Mary said it was quite the scare when she fainted."

"Yeah, when Sirius told me I just," James shook his head and Remus pretended not to see the moisture in James' eyes. "I don't know what I'd do without her."

"You're not going to find out," Remus said.

"I used to think that about my parents," he admitted. "I mean, I wasn't stupid. I knew they were on the older side what with them having me in their mid-forties so I knew death was a very real possibility but I never imagined not having them here. I mean Dumbledore's pushing to a hundred and my dad was barely in his seventies — mum wasn't even sixty-five. How is that not the most fucked up thing you've ever heard? And dragon pox! Fucking dragon pox! It makes me so mad I just want to scream at them but I can't because they're not here and it's killing me."

"It's okay to be mad at them."

"But there's nowhere to put it," he groaned frustratedly. "It's just there, sitting in me."

Remus pursed his lips, digging his hand into his pocket and handed James a piece of Honeyduke's finest chocolate. He'd been saving it but James' need was clearly greater. James bit into it unenthusiastically, a serious expression on his face as he munched.

"Your girlfriend is cool, by the way," James noted.

"I never thought I'd be with someone like ... me."

"What? Kind, attractive, sweet, thoughtful?"

It was Remus' turn to pull a face. "You know what I mean."

"Oh, you mean your furry little problem," James acknowledged and then, "I imagine it's how women feel when their period cycles sync up."

Remus rolled his eyes. Trust James to give an oversimplified analogy and for it to actually, kind-of, make sense.

"I think I preferred brooding you."

James grinned ever so slyly but Remus smiled at that. It was nice to see James smile again, no matter how small.

"What's her deal anyways? She's a seer and a werewolf?"

"You know?"

"She's had two prophecies about Lily, in front of Lily."

"Right."

"Look, I've never took much stock in divination and that crap but given everything, do I have to worry?" James asked, his eyes meeting Remus'.

Remus suddenly understood what Haley meant about knowing being a burden. But not knowing was a burden too. Did James have to worry?

"No," Remus decided. It wasn't fair to give them something to worry about that might not even need to be worried about. Remus would loop them in when he knew more from Haley. "At least I don't think so."

"Okay but how much of a seer, is she?"

"I honestly don't know. It's not a part of herself that she likes to talk about."

Remus could see James' brow furrowing deeper, his slight smile from before, had disappeared without a trace.

"James, I give you my word, if there's something to worry about, I'll tell you."

Sirius came in then, boasting loudly that the score in his and Mary's game was in his favour — how either of them actually remembered the score was beyond Remus.

"I'll get you back, Black," Mary warned.

"Is that a threat, Mac?" Sirius grinned, flopping onto the couch.

"Be afraid."

"You're five-one. You don't scare anyone."

"You are only one foot taller than me. You need to let it go."

"No, you're tiny and it's funny."

"I fail to see any humour in it."

James stood. "As much as I'd love to hear the two of you bicker all night, I'm going to head home and get a start on dinner for Lily."

"Is that an invitation?" Sirius asked.

"Absolutely not."

James disappeared into the fireplace. Remus wondered if Lily really was as okay as James and Sirius told him she was. Of course, Mary had seen her and said she looked fine too but James seemed almost overly concerned. He was leaving at two to go and make them dinner. Surely that was too early. Though Remus supposed he could be going on some sort of cooking phase wanting to do elaborate meals and the likes.

Sirius decided to leave for dinner and came back in such a foul mood, Remus was glad Mary had already retired to her own common room for the night. The next day all he talked about was how Ella never had time for him and how all she ever wanted to do was work.

"Okay, that's enough," Remus said after Sirius brought it up for the eighth time in under three hours.

He sent James and Sirius away to go deal with their anger — of course, James was now managing it better than Sirius but he thought the both of them could use the release. He watched them walk off together though sulking might have described it better.

"Jesus," Mary exclaimed, "it's like you have super powers."

"Years of experience," Remus said dryly.

She glanced over her shoulder at their retreating figures. "Do you think he'll be okay? He's been getting upset about Ella a lot lately."

Remus glanced at her, slightly suspicious. "He'll be right. Ella and Sirius are just going through a rough patch."

"I'd loathe it if my boyfriend was always working."

"Well, Ella's been through a lot this year and if it helps her get through the day," Remus considered, "then I can't judge her for that."

Remus was happy to see a much more relaxed James and Sirius return to the common room a few hours later and James was in such good spirits he invited them all for dinner. It was a nice night and Lily seemed happier than Remus had seen her in a while though his mind nagged at him when he noticed Haley keeping an eye on Lily throughout the evening.

"Oh, you simply have to use our real estate agent!" Lily exclaimed when Haley was telling everyone about her flat hunting predicament. "She was brill, wasn't she James?"

"She found us this place," James said by way of answer.

"Will you move in with Haley once the Hogwarts business is wrapped up?" Peter asked.

"Oh," Remus looked at Haley who smiled and shrugged, "well, if she'll have me."

The group whooped and cheered at the news.

"Soon I'll be the only single one left in the group," Peter huffed.

"You are the only single one left in the group," Sirius pointed out.

Then started the debate on whether 'the group' meant strictly the Marauders or if the Gryffindor girls were included, too. The night passed so quickly and it really felt like they could've been back at school, gossiping and debating in the Gryffindor Tower. Remus loved that Haley fit in perfectly with his friends. Mary and Lily were chatting with her non-stop and Remus even spotted James talking her ear off about British Quidditch.

After a heated debate on whether muggle music or wizard music was better, Mary exclaimed, "No wonder you lot were always so loud in the common room." This had the effect of reminiscing on old debates they'd had at Hogwarts.

The night passed quickly though and before Remus knew it, he and Haley were in the privacy of his room at Hogwarts getting ready for bed.

"The more I get to know your friends, the more I understand why you missed them so much," Haley said.

"I'm glad you like them," Remus grinned.

"They're wonderful."

"You're wonderful."

Christmas crept up and passed them and it was early evening on Christmas Day when Haley and Remus were sitting by the fire reading when the front door banged open followed by a loud bark of a shout.

"Is that Moody?" Haley asked with a frown, she jumped as the door slammed shut so loudly the windows shook. "What's he doing here on Christmas?"

More voices, urgent voices, wafted upstairs and Remus slid out of bed to press his ear to the door.

"Well, I don't think he came here for eggnog," Remus sighed. "Let's go downstairs."

---

Lily had to stay at St Mungo's for another night and then she was packing up her room with James and Sirius.

"How many magazines do you need?" Sirius huffed after stacking up seven and forcing them into the duffle bag.

"You try sitting in a room with nothing to do for two days," Lily grumbled.

Lily had become thoroughly sick of the hospital. It smelt weird and the food set off her nausea every single time to the point where James asked them to stop bringing food and instead had the house elves bring some.

"Try a month," James commented as he helped Lily into her coat. "It's all right, we'll be at the flat soon-"

"The flat?" she frowned. "I thought we were going back to Hogwarts."

"Marlene said the constant travelling isn't good for you," James reminded her, wrapping her scarf around her neck. "Besides, I won't be sleeping over at Hogwarts anymore."

"Fine but we better be walking. If I'm going from being cooped in a hospital room to cooped up in the flat, I want a nice decent walk."

A knock at the door and Marlene strolled in. Lily smiled. She liked Healer Adams. It suited her. Gone was the unsure girl at Hogwarts who couldn't decide who she wanted to be. In her place, was a confident woman with ambition and fire in her eyes.

"You guys just about ready?"

"Yeah, I don't think there are anymore layers of clothing James can force on me."

She was wrong however when James chose that moment to hand her a pair of wool gloves and said, "you're the one who insists on walking home."

"Sue me for wanting to stretch my legs a bit after sitting still for days. It's only a twenty minute walk."

"It is cold outside, Lils," Marlene said in James defence. "So I've just confirmed your twelve week appointment with Healer Fern. She's one of our best healers for pregnancy and young infants."

"Why can't we just have you again?" Lily asked, unsure how she felt about some stranger poking around in her private parts.

"Because I'm a newbie healer and you and my god child deserve the best."

"Do we not get to actually pick any of our child's godparents?" James asked in jest.

"No," Marlene and Sirius said at the same time.

"You are the best," Lily insisted. "Can you at least be at the appointment?"

"I've already penciled it in," Marlene assured. "Potter take note."

"Date and time are burnt into my mind."

"Good."

"Date and time are burnt into my mind, also. If Marls gets to be there so do I." Sirius slung the duffle on his shoulder.

Lily just shook her head at James. This might as well happen.

"I'm there as her healer, you git."

"I know what you're trying to do, Adams. You're trying to establish yourself as the better godparent. Not on my watch."

"Can you two quit bickering? I'd like to get home before I give birth."

The four of them exited the room, Lily's arm wrapped around James' as they walked to the healers station where they had to sign a few things. Lily was signing her name at the bottom of a page when a patronus arrived.

"Two critical. One minor. Olympus."

Marlene frowned. "I gotta go. But Lily, please remember to rest and take it easy. I don't want you going back to work for another day at least!" she shouted as she took backward steps further away. She rushed off, disappearing around the corner.

Three people were injured at headquarters.

"Who do you think is hurt?"

"Something must have gone wrong with Gid and Fab," Sirius rubbed his face.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, a frown already on her face.

"They were sort of missing the other day but Frank said they had it handled. I'm going to Headquarters. See if there's anything I can do to help."

"We should go too-"

"Not a chance," James jumped in. "Marlene said you should minimise stress. We're going to wait at the flat and Sirius will give us an update."

"That doesn't sound any less stressful than waiting at Headquarters."

"It's less stressful because you'll be on the couch resting with a cup of tea instead of rushing about headquarters trying to help."

"He's got a point, Lils. Besides, Fletcher's stench is bound to set off your vomiting gag and that's not a pretty sight for anyone."

"Charming, Black."

After their walk back to the flat — and after Lily vomited her guts out — James kept to his word and set Lily up on the couch with a blanket tucked around her legs — after she'd taken off all the layers James had forced her to wear — and started a fire. He then brewed them both some tea and they sat.

"Now what?" Lily asked.

"We rest."

"I've been resting for two days."

"That's what people do when they spontaneously faint whilst pregnant."

"I think this is all a bit dramatic. I'm fine."

"Great and we're going to keep you that way."

Lily sighed. She'd just have to get used to the fact that James was barely going to let her sneeze until she birthed this baby.

This baby. Their baby. She peeked over at him.

"Are you — are you really happy about the baby?"

"Of course I am." He leaned over the edge of the couch, his elbows on his knees. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"We're fighting in a war. We're only nineteen. This wasn't a part of the plan. We don't have any idea what we are doing. We don't even have a forever house," she said the last one quietly.

"We'll be twenty by the time the baby's born and, love, when have I ever followed a plan?"

Her lips turned up at that a little. "Doesn't it scare you, though? We're going to be responsible for a whole person."

He came over to her and with a bit of shifting, she lay between his legs, her back resting on his chest, his lips by her temple.

"It scares me," he admitted softly. "But that doesn't mean I'm not excited. I am so excited for this baby. Our baby." His hands slipped under her shirt and rested on her tummy. "We're going to do this together. And our baby is going to be so loved. I mean it already has our only two friends who know about it fighting over who's going to love it more. We're going to be just fine, Lily."

"I love you," she whispered.

He hugged her tight as he pressed his lips to her temple. "More."

"Most."

She fell asleep in his arms and not for the first time since the previous morning did he wonder how he'd managed to screw up so badly. She'd been dealing with everything alone. With his parents deaths, his grieving, and the pregnancy. It was no wonder she'd ended up passing out from stress. He vowed, not for the first time since yesterday, that he'd do better.

James eventually dosed off too but a light knock on the door was all it took to wake him. Sirius entered closing the door quietly after spotting James and Lily sleeping on the couch.

James pressed a finger to his lips to indicate Sirius should be quiet.

"I don't want to wake her," he whispered and Sirius nodded.

"It's pretty bad," Sirius said quietly, sitting on the other couch. "Alice and Gideon are in bad form. Frank got hit with something in his chest, but it doesn't seem too bad."

"But everyone's alive?"

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, everyone's alive."

"Does it look like they'll pull through?"

"Marlene says they're stable so I guess, time will tell. She seemed confident though."

James sighed in relief. At least when Lily woke it wouldn't be absolutely terrible news.

"Voldemort was there," Sirius sighed. "It's why everything went south. Emmeline says they were lucky to get out alive."

They fell into silence after that because there was nothing else to say. Somehow this had become their lives and yet there were still no words when something like this happened.

"I'm glad you're back, Prongs," Sirius finally said. "We've needed you and it's good to see you and Lily being … you and Lily."

Apparently it wasn't only Lily he'd disappointed when he'd checked out. Sirius had been right the other day: his mum would be ashamed by how he'd dealt with their deaths.

"I'm sorry for checking out. They were yours too."

Sirius nodded once and patted a hand against James' foot to convey no hard feelings.

"I'll be by later with a new update or just to check in, I suppose."

James didn't know how much time had passed until Lily woke up, all he knew was he was content to sit with her in his arms as he dosed in and out, thinking about everything and nothing in particular.

"Hmm, what time is it?" Lily murmured, stirring in his arms, stretching out her own arms in front of her before letting one fall up and back, so her fingers played with the hair at the base of James' neck.

"Dunno," James admitted. "Haven't been keeping track but I'd say around one or two. Sirius stopped by maybe a little over an hour ago. Did you want me to fix you something for lunch?"

"Is everything okay at headquarters?"

"Alice and Gid are in bad form but Marlene seems confident they'll recover. Frank was a bit banged up too but not as bad as Alice and Gideon."

Lily nodded. She didn't know whether to still be worried or to be relieved. What she did know was she was hungry.

"Lunch offer still stand?" she asked.

James tightened his grip on her for a second, pressing a kiss to her jawline. "What do you think you could stomach?"

"Maybe just some plain rice?"

"Think it'd be okay if I add some veg in it?"

Lily considered. She didn't feel nauseas. "Let's give it a go," she agreed.

They untangled themselves on the couch and Lily went for the bathroom whilst James went straight to the kitchen to start on lunch. After seeing it was almost three, he decided he'd use magic to speed along the process and by the time Lily came out of the bathroom — her hair neatly bushed and her breath smelling of mint — the vegetables to be added into the rice were already cooked and just waiting on the rice to finish boiling.

"Smells good," Lily complimented sitting at the kitchen table. Moving her books and research to the side so they'd have room to eat.

"How's our thirteenth century Lily?" James asked, leaning against the kitchen counter to look at her.

"I've traced some of her book collection to possibly three libraries in Edinburgh. You see she had three daughters to whom she left her entire collection. The three girls upon their mother's death split the collection in three. One of the daughters, Beatrix, lived in Edinburgh and from what I can tell, her direct line stayed in Edinburgh."

"What about the other two daughters?"

"They're a bit trickier. One stayed in London, Isabella, but there's no record of anyone donating books to a public library."

"Which could mean they've either been sold to private sellers or have stayed in the family in a private collection. You know, if it's the latter, Della could check Gringott's inventory."

Lily considered. "That's brill actually. Books that old are priceless and if someone knew their value they might decide to keep some, if not all of the collection in Gringott's."

"You should write her."

"I'll ask her about it next time I see her."

"What about the third sister?"

"She died before she had any children," Lily sighed. "There's no clear record if the books were returned to either of the remaining two sisters or if all her possessions were sold off."

"Surely the two sisters would want to make sure their mother's collection stayed in the family."

"The third sister, Cecelia, lived and died in France. By the time the other two found out, it may have already been too late."

They discussed further possibilities as they ate lunch — they high-fived when Lily ate her whole plate without even feeling a hint of nausea — and they continued talking about other things when the topic of Lily's research exhausted itself. The feeling of having her husband back made Lily positively giddy and when James suggested he teach her how to win at chess, she accused him of being a smug winner but none the less let James set up the chess board.

Lily lost spectacularly — no surprise — and it was after her sixth time losing when there was a knock at the door and Mary and Sirius walked on in.

"Oh, Lily, I'm so glad you're okay!" Mary gushed.

"I heard you found me," Lily said getting up and on second thought turned to James, "we're on pause Potter," she told him before embracing Mary in a hug.

"Potter, aye," Sirius whistled. "How many times has she lost?"

"She's about to lose for the seventh," James grinned.

"I am not!" Lily said whirling back around to the board.

"Yes you are," Mary and Sirius, who'd evidently had time to assess the chess board, said.

"I hate this game and I hate all of you."

"Nah you don't," Sirius said easily. "Want me to try save this for you or are you keen on keeping the losing streak going?"

"Have at it," Lily sighed and Sirius took Lily's place at the table. "How's Alice and Gid?"

"Wright says they're stable for now but the burns are going to take a while to heal. Fiendfyre."

"Ouch," Lily winced at the thought. Dark fire burns were not easy to heal and were likely to leave a scar.

"Anyway, since things at headquarters seem settled and you guys are settled, I'm going to be staying at Hogwarts tonight. Can't let Moony and Wormtail have all the fun."

"Forgetting someone, Black?" Mary coughed pointedly.

"The adults are talking, Mac."

Lily hid a grin when she saw Mary fling a silent jinx at Sirius' behind causing him to flinch.

"I believe that's another point to me," Mary sung and then not as gracefully, "sucker."

"From behind. That's dirty but don't you worry, Mac, I'll get you when you least expect it."

"Not counting on it," Mary retorted. Lily wasn't sure what all that was about and she was sure she didn't really want to know.

"Where's Ella today?" Lily asked. "She across the hall?"

"No, working," Sirius said, his mood dimming quite easily.

Lily looked at Mary who shook her head. "Touchy subject," she mouthed.

"You guys want tea?"

"I'll get it, you're supposed to be taking it easy," James said, already getting up from his seat.

"I slept for almost four hours since we got home," Lily argued. "And it's tea not a four course meal."

But it was useless. James was already setting the kettle on the stove and pulling out mugs.

"Do you prefer green, black, chamomile, or peppermint, Mary?"

Mary considered for a moment before asking for peppermint.

The two girls chatted on the couches whilst Sirius and James played chess and Lily's heart swelled. Despite everything, it felt like, for the first time, things would eventually go back to normal.

The days passed quicker than Lily was used to. She and James left the flat the same time every morning, Lily for work and James for Hogwarts. James hadn't liked the idea of Lily going back to work so soon but she really couldn't take anymore leave besides in a few days, the department would close for two weeks over Christmas and New Year's.

"You wouldn't want to go to the Ministry's New Year's party?" Lily teased and James snorted.

"I thought Moody already asked us to go as extra security."

"Prat," Lily told him through a grin.

"You know, we should put up a Christmas tree," James suggested, one Friday evening as they sat on the floor in the living room eating pizza Lily had picked up on the way home from work.

"Should we?"

"It is our first Christmas together. In the flat."

"It is."

"I'd say we owe it to the flat. And to the baby."

"Oh, the baby's getting a say in things already?"

"Lily, we have to raise this child with an appropriate amount of holiday cheer."

"And she'll know if we don't put a tree up from inside my womb."

"Exactly. We don't want to give birth to the next Grinch."

"You know who the Grinch is?"

So the Saturday before Christmas Day — a mere three days away — was spent rushing about London trying to find a decent tree and decorations. They scraped by even if they did end up having to buy a fake one — Lily charmed it to smell like a real one — and they decorated it with fairy lights and red baubles. They also managed to find two stockings that they hung from the fireplace and it wasn't winning any Christmas Cheer awards but it was enough for Lily and James.

In the afternoon, Lily fell asleep on the couch and woke up sometime later to see James staring at the window.

"This is new," James murmured, looking at the photo frame Lily had put out. It was of his parents dancing at Lily and James' wedding. Lily didn't know how that day already felt so long ago.

She sat up and turned towards him suddenly worried the photo would trigger something and an irrational fear clutched at her stomach.

"I found it in the big house and I thought," she coughed, "we can pack it away if it's too much."

But James set it back on the window sill where it was flanked by a fluttering fern and a bubbling echeveria that Lily had bought when they'd first moved in.

"I miss them," he said so softly Lily wasn't even sure she was supposed to hear. "They were just always around. Ever since I was born. When I needed them, they were there.

"You know, they stopped working when I was born. Dad sold the company. Mum quit the Ministry. If it wasn't for me, she probably would have been Minister for Magic at some point. Dad would've pushed the company beyond hair products. They stopped their whole lives for me and they never complained. Not once."

"Because they loved you so, so much." Lily thought about the baby and knew she'd do the same thing, I mean, they'd just put up a Christmas tree for the sake of a baby that wasn't even born yet.

"I wasn't even half of their life," James murmured. "I would have liked to meet those people. The famous potioneer and the future Minister for Magic. By the time I was old enough to know them, they were just mum and dad."

"I liked the version of them that we knew," Lily mused. "They were kind and selfless and wise. I hope we can be even half the parents they were."

James smiled softly, a hint of his smirk. "You know that means we're going to have to spoil our child rotten?" Then he sighed, his smile faded. "I wish they had at least known before…"

"Your mum knew," Lily said quietly. "The day she died, you had gone to the bathroom … she asked me how far along I was. She was happy, James. So, so happy."

"She - she knew?" James asked and at Lily's assuring nod, he slumped. "I really miss them," he murmured.

Lily knew she couldn't say anything to make it better so she walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and propped herself on her tippy toes so she could rest her chin on his shoulder. James' arms hugged over hers and together they stood as they stared at the picture of his parents.

Lily was ecstatic when the whole Hogwarts gang plus Haley came for dinner the next night. It made her feel that they'd find normal again, that there was a light at the end of the tunnel and she hadn't seen James smile so much in weeks. She hadn't laughed so much in weeks. They talked and joked around and re-lived some old Hogwarts memories. Mary and Sirius explained their 'game' to Lily when Mary accidentally hit Peter with a stinging jinx and he was not happy to the point of huffing and puffing.

"Tonight was nice," Lily said to James as they packed up.

"Were you alright? I noticed you got up to use the bathroom."

Lily shrugged. "Just normal nausea. I think it was Haley's perfume."

"Did you want me to fix you another plate? We've still got leftovers."

"That would be lovely actually. I think I threw up most of dinner."

"You sure you don't feel faint or anything?" he asked anxiously.

"I'm fine, love. Besides, think of all the arguments I'll win with our little bean when it's out."

Soon enough Christmas Eve came and James and Lily went to Headquarters for the dinner party that Emmeline had decided to throw since Gideon and Alice were confined there until Danielle Wright gave them the medical okay to leave. Lily hadn't ever imagined having a one to one conversation with her boss's boss though.

"Lily, Lovegood has been telling me about your research," Meadowes mentioned. "She wanted me to encourage you to think about publishing. She showed me some of your theories and, you know, if you'd publish, I really think we could get you a team next year."

"A - a team?" Lily asked, her interest piqued.

"Don't get too excited," she warned. "It'd be a small team, you'd head, of course, but I was thinking two interns to help you with your research."

"That's — wow. Really?"

"Have a think about it over the holidays and I'll put something in the books for us to discuss it more after the break."

Lily thanked Meadowes profusely and promised to have a think about it over the holidays before finding James.

"Did — did you hear any of that?"

"I saw you talking to Meadowes but no, didn't catch much of it."

"She wants me to head a small team to look further into my research!"

"That's great, Lils!" But she noticed the slight strain in his voice.

"You don't think it's a good idea," she deduced.

"I just," he sighed. "There was a reason dad never wanted to do research on behalf of the Ministry. I mean, look at Lovegood's research. And Mr Bodine's. They're sitting on a potion that can positively affect werewolves way of life and yet they're sitting on it. Still. Even though they know it works. The Ministry is always going to have its own agenda and they'll effectively own your research."

Lily frowned. She hadn't thought of it that way. Would the Ministry really try to control her research? The thought of it made her stomach flip because the Ministry did have its own agenda and agenda's changed based on who was in power.

"You're right," Lily sighed. "I shouldn't do it."

"Hey, I'm not saying don't do it at all," he tilted her chin up so she could look at him properly. "We've got money for you to do your research privately and then publish it. Hell, we've got enough money to hire you ten interns and fund this indefinitely. I'm just saying, if you want to go down that road, you don't need the Ministry's backing. You don't need to defend budgets to Meadowes, or work around agendas, or - or have strict deadlines. You could do this your way."

"You'd really let me do that?"

"What do you mean 'let you'?" he asked with a slight frown.

"I mean, it's your money that your parents left for you."

"It's our money that my parents left for us and our children. There's no 'let you'. If you want to do this just say the word and we'll go to Gringott's tomorrow to set up a research fund."

Lily pitched herself onto her toes, her arms wrapping around his neck.

"I don't know how I ever got so lucky," she murmured in his ear.

He hugged her tightly back. "It's your world, love, I'm just living in it."

"It's our world," she corrected, leaning back so she could plant a big kiss on his cheek. "And I love you."

"And I love you, too," he grinned into her toothy kiss, his hand coming up to cup her head.

"Urgh, must the two of you always be so mushy," Sirius groaned flopping into the chair closest to them.

"Haven't you heard it's rude to eavesdrop, Black?"

"What's got you in a sour mood?" James asked.

"Women. Specifically a woman by the name of Ella Dearborn. But I don't want to talk about it."

"You know we can get you drunk twice as fast," Lily proposed.

"I'm listening."

"Well, I'm pregnant so I can't drink but we don't want anyone to know I'm pregnant. So for the rest of the night I'll secretly be giving you all my alcoholic beverages."

"Prongs, your wife is the best."

Her heart pounding woke her up in the very early hours of Christmas morning.

"What's matter?" James asked still half asleep but his hand sought hers under the cover until his warm fingers twined with hers.

"I - we should go to Hogwarts."

That woke him up a bit more. Why on earth would she want to go to Hogwarts in the middle of the night? He propped himself up on his elbows to see her face better — well, as well as one could see someone else's face in the dark.

"Why?"

"I can't really explain. I just I don't know if it was a dream or if it really happened and if it did really happen, it's important."

"Marlene said not to travel," James pointed out.

"It's important," Lily repeated.

So they went to Hogwarts. They didn't even bother changing out of their pyjamas, they just put on cloaks around them, and then flooed directly into the boys common room.

"You all right?" James asked, stepping out after her.

"Well, I don't need to throw up," she muttered, glad for the small mercy.

The common room was eerily quiet and the two of them quietly shuffled out, making sure not to slam the door. James slipped the cloak over them just in case any teachers were up and about.

"Well, where are we going?" James whispered.

"Girls bathroom. Second floor."

"Where you..?"

"Yeah."

They began to walk down to the second floor and only once they were in the girls bathroom did they take the cloak off and light their wands.

Lily went over to the sink where she'd rested her head. She turned the tap, and just like before, no water came out. She tilted her head and said, "James."

He came up behind her and saw what she was looking at. A snake on the side of the tap.

"Well, shit," James exclaimed.

They attempted a bunch of things to attempt to open what they now assumed was the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets but nothing worked.

"Do you think it's something stupid like you have to turn the tap four ways counterclockwise then once clockwise?" Lily murmured.

"It'd be impossible to guess the key," James said frustrated.

"Oh, you won't get in like that."

James and Lily whirled around with their wands up but they needn't have bothered. Moaning Myrtle was floating above them.

"You've seen people go in before?" James asked, stepping forward. "How?"

"You don't want to go down there unless you can open the entrance."

"Myrtle," Lily stepped forward. "I know, I know you really haven't wanted to talk about any of this but we need to know. We really need to know: how did you die?"

"I thought you had died," Myrtle admitted. "You were at that sink after all and that was where the last thing I ever saw alive was. I wondered for the briefest moment if you'd decide to haunt the bathroom with me."

James shivered at the thought and slipped his hand into Lily's, squeezing tight. He didn't like the intruding thought of what if Sirius had told him Lily had died and was a ghost in the girls bathroom at Hogwarts. She squeezed his hand back as if to say I'm right here.

"What did you see by the sink?"

"A pair of eyes. Big, yellow eyes."

"A basilisk," James breathed so softly, Lily barely heard him but she could practically hear his brain whirring. "You need to speak parseltongue to open the entrance."

"What?" Lily said turning to face him.

"She said 'you don't want to go down there unless you can open the entrance'. The basilisk lives down there and you wouldn't want to go down there unless you could control it. You need to speak parseltongue to get in."

"5 points to Potter," Myrtle said sarcastically.

"We should go tell the boys," Lily murmured.

"Let's go to bed. It's Christmas tomorrow," he pointed out. "This can wait until after Christmas."

Lily supposed James had a point. The map was being watched constantly and besides most kids had cleared out of Hogwarts for Christmas. It could wait a day.

"Thanks for your help, Myrtle," Lily said sincerely.

He tugged her towards the exit and under the safety of the cloak they walked back to the common room and into James' room.

"Almost five months of searching," James whispered.

She turned towards him, resting her palm on his chest.

"James, promise me you won't do anything stupid," she pleaded. "I know we joked about setting roosters loose down there but this thing is a thousand years old. It's smart, James, and roosters don't crow on demand. So I need you to promise that you and the boys will think of a plan before you go exploring."

He pulled her in, and tucked her head under his chin. "I'm not going anywhere, Lils."

"I mean it. I can't do any of this without you. I need you. If the last few weeks have told me anything it's that I don't want to do this alone," she told him and then softly, "It's not just me and you anymore."

He pulled back slightly, tilting her face up. "I promise," and he kissed her sweetly to seal the deal.

Christmas day for the new Mr and Mrs Potter went by mostly uneventfully but it was sweet and that was just what they needed. James cooked them bacon and eggs in the morning, which they ate on the floor of the living room. They opened each other's presents and Lily gasped when she saw the round emerald gem set in gold and hanging off a fine gold chain.

"James," she sighed in awe.

"I found it in a muggle store," he told her.

It was then that Lily particularly noticed the bright blue box. Tiffany blue. It would've cost a fortune.

"I love it," she reached over to squeeze his hand. "Come do the clasp."

He helped her put it on and they got a bit distracted before Lily remembered his present.

"It can wait," he mumbled into her neck.

"If you knew what it was, you wouldn't want to wait," she teased in a sing-song voice.

"You are torture, woman."

Lily laughed but the insult was worth the look on his face when he opened his present. He stared in shock for a moment and then laughed.

"You got me a snitch?"

"That," Lily told him, "is the very same snitch from the first game you ever played at Hogwarts."

James' mouth dropped a little, "Seriously?"

She nodded with a smile. "It was against Ravenclaw. You scored eighty points in that game."

"I can't believe you remember that. We weren't even friends back then."

"Why do you think I offered to help you with Charms?" she asked.

"Ah, so the way to third year Lily's heart were my Quidditch skills."

She laughed, "you're a git."

They let the snitch buzz around for the rest of the day and in a way it kind of felt like a pet of some sort. They named her 'Clarice'.

"I have a confession," James said after lunch.

"Oh?"

"I have another present for you."

"That is a strict violation of the one present per person rule," she accused teasingly.

"It's technically a present for both of us," he defended. "It's just, the other day I was walking and I just had to buy her."

"Her?" Lily asked, raising a brow.

James held a finger up and disappeared into the spare bedroom. He came out with a British Longhair kitten.

"Oh my god," Lily exclaimed jumping up to inspect the adorable kitten closer. "How long has she been in there?"

"Since yesterday. I had her at Hogwarts before then for about two days. Sirius thought I'd gone mad."

"I," Lily was speechless. He bought them a cat. A very cute cat even if she did try to swipe at Lily's hand.

"I just figured it'd be nice practice for the baby and look," he held the cat up to Lily, "she matches you."

"She matches me," Lily said, cocking her head to study the cat. Ginger with big green eyes. The cat did match her. "She's the most cutest thing! What's her name?"

The cat got bored of them testing names on her instead becoming more interested in Clarice. For a kitten, she ran fast, zooming across the flat trying to catch the golden snitch. Lily and James kept bouncing names off of each other until they finally settled on 'Betty'.

All in all, James considered it a pretty memorable Christmas. They both managed to forget about everything else going on outside of their little flat.

"Everything will be different this time next year," Lily murmured as they lay in bed in the late afternoon.

"We'll be parents."

"After July eighteenth there'll be three of us."

James' hand came to rest on her tummy. There was no noticeable change yet though Lily insisted she constantly looked bloated. James thought she was crazy since she vomited on average four times a day.

"What do you think he'll be like?" James asked.

"She might match the cat," Lily mused and James laughed.

"She might."

"I think we'll have to find a cat that matches you."

"Or a dog."

"We've got a dog."

"He needs a playmate."

"You're his playmate."

"Low blow, Evans, but I'll allow it."

The next morning, they woke and Lily fed the impatient kitten — Lily moved her food and water bowls to the kitchen and Betty followed her the entire time, meowing at her feet. James cooked them breakfast and the smell of the eggs had Lily sprinting for the bathroom. By the time she finished up, James had breakfast served and evidently the Daily Prophet had been delivered.

He handed her the Daily Prophet thoughtlessly. And she unfolded it thoughtlessly. But the words jumped out at her with thought. They hit their gruesome mark.

---

This morning just seemed to be one thing after another after another. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration but he wasn't having a good morning at any rate. Well, Lily was released from St Mungo's which was good but Mary spilled the beans to Remus which was not so good but he still didn't know Lily's pregnant which was also good. The James and Lily drama was burying him in a pile of lies so high he was sure he was going to catch himself out soon enough. And to top it all off, he didn't even make it back to the flat with them.

Instead Sirius was at Headquarters, hoping he wouldn't have to go back to the flat and share terrible news with everyone. There were a lot of voices floating down the hall when Sirius stepped in. Marlene had obviously beaten him but there were some other voices he didn't recognise. A particularly firm female voice who wasn't messing about and ordering the rest what to do. A male voice calling out random things that made no sense to Sirius. Marlene was also calling a few things out.

"What happened?" Sirius asked with wide eyes as he walked into the hospital room. Sirius smelt it before he saw it. Alice's leg was blistering and raw red from her foot to her thigh and her head was dripping with blood. Her body was convulsing from shock or pain, Sirius didn't know which, and Marlene was pouring potions down her throat.

Gideon wasn't in a much better state. His right arm and torso was just as gruesome as Alice's leg and there was a sizeable piece of glass embedded into his thigh. His left eye looked swollen shut and he had a busted lip.

"I thought you said you had it handled," Sirius implored to Frank, who was leaning against the wall by the door watching everything unfold.

"We - we did," Frank coughed blood onto his hand.

"This doesn't look like you had it handled. What the hell happened?"

"It was supposed to be simple," Emmeline said shakily. Amongst everything, Sirius hadn't noticed her in the corner of the room until she'd spoken. "We got word that they were moving the twins from the Aitken House to Malfoy Manor. Our plan was to intercept but, Merlin, we barely got the twins out when he showed up."

Sirius' face paled. "Voldemort showed up?"

"It was a miracle any of us got out," Emmeline remarked.

"He tried to trap us with fire and it was all we could do to get out of their anti-apparition charm." Frank coughed hard again and Sirius frowned at the blood in Frank's hand.

"You need to sit! It looks like you got hit in the chest with something. Adams! Frank needs to be looked at!"

"No- I'm fine! Focus on Alice!"

"You're coughing up blood, Frank. You're not fine!" Sirius told him.

"Come on, Frank," Emmeline insisted, taking his arm to help him stand. "Just come sit down."

"Matthews, help Mr Longbottom!" the more experienced healer, the one with the firm voice, shouted. "Adams, let me take over Mrs Longbottom!"

"No, I can do this!" Marlene shouted, refusing to move.

"She's your friend. You can't work on your friends. Help Socha with Prewett. I've got Longbottom."

Marlene gave a frustrated sigh, using her forearm to push her hair away from her face as she swirled around to switch focus to Gideon.

"Where's Fabian?" Sirius asked Emmeline.

"In the kitchen. Says he can't watch his brother die," her voice cracked.

"All right!" Wright blurted, standing up straight to eye the both of them. "Both of you out! We'll send out an update when we can but we need quiet!" Wright didn't spare a second glance to check they followed her instructions. Her focus entirely on Alice.

Emmeline and Sirius walked out reluctantly and Sirius slumped.

"You should've called for backup," Sirius said.

"It all happened so fast. Merlin, if they-" she shook her head, tears in her eyes.

"They're going to be fine," Sirius said, not sure if he believed it himself. "It might be a long road for them but they'll get better."

Emmeline nodded in true British 'stiff upper lip' fashion.

"Come on. I think we could both use a drink or five," Sirius said, gesturing for the kitchens.

Fabian barely looked up at them as Sirius sat opposite him and Emmeline took the seat next to him. Sirius called one of the house elves to bring them some of Fleamont's firewhiskey and with a pop and a crack, the three of them had drinks.

Sirius hated being so useless but he knew there was nothing else he could do. Nothing any of them could do now except wait. So the three of them waited, nursing their drinks as the hours slugged by. Not a single word was uttered not until Marlene's steps could be heard coming down.

Emmeline stood. "Is she - are they-?"

"They're out of the woods for now," Marlene announced and the three of them sighed in relief. "It was touch and go for a bit but they are both stable and we've treated their burns as much as possible but it's cursed fire so we had to treat it the muggle way which means it'll take longer to heal and likely to scar. Frank's doing good too, he's just sleeping it off but when he wakes he should be good to go."

"Can we see them?" Fabian finally choked out.

"They're sedated for now but you can go up and sit with them if you'd like," Marlene allowed.

Emmeline and Fabian wasted no time rushing to the stairs and Marlene exhaled.

"Jesus, mother of-" she slumped into a chair. "That was the worst five hours of my life."

Had it really been that long? Sirius slid his glass over to her and she downed it gratefully, slamming it back down. Sirius grabbed the bottle and poured another two fingers for her and she downed that too.

"Will they really pull through?" Sirius asked.

"They should. Wright's coming up with a roster. Between the four of us, someone will be with them twenty-four-seven. How's Lily doing?"

"James has it handled, though I better go give them an update."

"Go easy on the details with Lily, yeah? We shouldn't be stressing her out."

"Rodger that, Healer Adams. By the way, this house has like five bathrooms." Marlene stared at him blankly. "This is my way of telling you, you should shower and change 'cause I don't think any human should smell what's coming off of you."

"You're a right prat, Black."

He winked at her. "With that, I am off."

He went home first, hoping to catch Ella. She'd want to know about Alice if she hadn't heard already but when he let himself in, it was to face a silent and stale apartment. He wondered when the last time she cracked open a window was. In the kitchen, the fridge only held a half empty bottle of milk which he was pretty sure was expired, a tub of butter, and a pathetic looking loaf of sliced bread. He plonked himself at the table and noted the light film of dust that had accumulated. Ella couldn't crack open a window if she was never home, he noted.

He tried to remember the last time he and Ella had hung out just the two of them. It was two weeks ago, after the funeral, he realised. They hadn't seen each other in two weeks.

He pulled his wand out and "Hey, I know this is probably an abuse of the patronus system but, I was thinking maybe you could come to Hogwarts after work? We could steal some food from the kitchens and go sit up in the astronomy tower … like old times."

He watched as the silvery dog disappeared to relay the message and then sat as he waited. Spinning his wand as he waited. He really hoped she'd say yes. He thought things would get better between them when she started coming out of her fog and it had for a bit … until she'd gone back to work. Then he'd been assigned to Hogwarts and now they never saw each other anymore.

And Sirius was a big boy but it frustrated him that she'd never bothered to visit. Not once. He'd told her they had their own common room with its own fireplace which their flat was connected too. She could come anytime but she didn't. She hid behind work and it frustrated him to no end because Lily worked too but she still found the time to visit, hell, some nights she even stayed the night. Daniels had visited too a few times after Marlene had given her the okay.

Ella's patronus — a crow — soared into the room, "hey, Weatherby and I have a lot to get through. Won't be finished until late."

Sirius slammed a hand on the table in annoyance. Always bloody working, he thought to himself, and for what? Some slimy, power-hungry politician. She'd never pick Sirius over work, that was becoming clearer as the weeks passed.

He picked up his wand he crossed the hall to James and Lily's since there was no use moping around his flat. He still had things to do. Things that didn't involve Ella. Things that would occupy his mind so he wouldn't put his fist through a goddamned wall.

He cracked open the door of their flat and he smiled softly at the sight. James and Lily sleeping on the couch together, rugged up under the same blanket. They always made it look so easy and effortless. They fought like any other couple but at the end of the day, this was Lily and James. These days, they were the only reason he believed in love anymore.

He quietly told James the update — cautious not to disturb Lily — before leaving and heading back to Hogwarts. He took the bike though. He could use a decent fly to clear his head a bit.

They were supposed to be taking advantage of the quieter castle now that ninety-eight percent of students had gone home for the holidays but, Merlin, if Sirius just wanted to lay down somewhere and not think for a while. He didn't think he'd yet recovered from seeing Lily passed out on the ground like that let alone all the rest.

"You look like someone peed in your whiskey," Mary remarked as he clicked the door closed behind him.

"I wish someone had," Sirius replied honestly. He'd happily trade everything else for some whiskey that some chap peed in.

Mary sat up straighter, putting down the paper. "What happened? Is Lily-?"

"Lily's fine," Sirius interrupted before Mary could worry further. "She's with James at their flat."

"Okay," she said slowly, "then what has your face looking like that?"

"And what's 'that' exactly?"

"All moody and broody like you could be on the cover of Witch Weekly and the month's theme was teen angst."

"I'm going to choose to see that as a compliment."

"It wasn't."

Sirius eyed the corner of the room. Remus had evidently brought Daniels into Hogwarts again and Sirius' jaw tightened in annoyance but maybe that had more to do with Ella than Daniels. Lily would definitely say so. Mary too.

"You were rather long visiting James and Lily," Remus called out.

Sirius explained the situation at headquarters and Remus, Daniels, and Mary were all relieved to hear the relatively good outcome.

Mary jumped up though and fixed Sirius an Irish tea — she always did make the best — without being asked. She handed it to him and said, "sit, you look pale."

"Rode the bike here."

"From London?" she exclaimed. "It's the dead of winter, Sirius."

"I'm fine," he brushed her off, sipping at the tea.

He stayed long enough that he began to feel his fingers again but when he overheard Daniels suggest she stay the night, Sirius was up and out back to James and Lily's. This time with Mary as a tag along.

Sirius couldn't help making them floo to his flat first and was ticked off when Ella still wasn't home. It was seven o'clock on a Sunday. How much work could they possibly have?

"Dearborn not home?" Mary asked.

"Never is," Sirius said bitterly.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He looked over at her and then away. "Come on." He led the way across the hall where they stayed for the rest of the night.

The week that followed was just more of the same infuriating bullshit. No Ella. No breakthroughs. No nothing. Everything they did just seemed so pointless. They searched places they'd already searched. They re-read the same books hoping something will jump out at them. They tried to speak to a ghost who did not like to talk to people in any helpful way.

"This is fucking hopeless," Sirius groaned after another day of searching and getting nowhere. "This bloody room doesn't exist! We've looked everywhere."

"Maybe we should try talking to Myrtle again," Remus suggested.

"And you could try keeping your cool this time," Mary added.

"The old hag won't tell us a thing," Sirius huffed.

"Maybe because you keep calling her names," Mary pointed out.

"Why don't we try the common rooms again?" Remus suggested. "It might be our only chance now that there's hardly any students about."

"Why would Slytherin hide the chamber with his super secret monster in the dormitories?" Sirius asked. "It's just not practical or accessible enough for a teacher. There's no privacy."

"If you're after places with privacy, why don't we look through all the broom closets again?" Mary quipped. "You're thinking like a logical person, Sirius. The man clearly had issues. He hid a fifty foot long snake in a hidden chamber in the castle."

"No one's denying his homicidal tendencies but the man was smart. He was not only good enough friends with the other three founders to start a school together but he managed to hide a fifty foot long snake and a room large enough to hide said snake from them."

"Maybe they all weren't as legendary as history has made them out to be. Any old dunce can open a school."

"We haven't checked the room with the quill and book," Remus suggested.

"Quill and book?" Mary asked but Sirius considered.

"You reckon? Would Dumbledore even let us in?"

"At any rate he'd be able to check for us. He is the headmaster and has a vested interest in finding the Chamber of Secrets," Remus pointed out.

"Boo, we've been searching for months and we're just going to give the find to Dumbledore. The old bastard hasn't done anything except sit in his office this whole time."

Turned out, Dumbledore wasn't even sitting in his office. Professor McGonagall informed them he was away for the holidays. The only silver lining was James started coming back to Hogwarts and he was actually helping them. Actually talking. Actually participating. Of course, he was still plenty distracted but Sirius couldn't tell if it was worry over Lily or grief for his parents that was the sole cause. Probably a bit of both.

James improved even more when Remus kicked them out of the castle one day.

"The both of you have pent up anger that isn't getting you anywhere. Go sort yourselves out."

"What the hell does that mean?" Sirius asked.

"It means, I don't care what you do. Go throw some plates against a wall or beat some bludgers on the pitch. Duel each other for all I care, just do something to get rid of the frustration. And not in here!"

Remus had been right about shedding some of their anger in a physical way and beating bludgers on the pitch was a pure stroke of genius. They'd stayed in the air for almost two hours before they landed again. The two men now lay on the frozen pitch.

"I wished they'd come back as ghosts," James told Sirius quietly. "Who wishes that? For their parents to just be stuck forever as a ghost never moving on or crossing over or whatever it is. Never finding peace."

"If I could force them to become ghosts just so we could talk to them at least one more time, I'd do it," Sirius confessed. "That doesn't make us bad people, James. It just makes us kids who miss our parents."

"When the fuck did you get so wise?"

"Mum left it to me in the will."

"You know, they had you in their will since the day you moved in four years ago."

Sirius closed his eyes so the tears wouldn't fall — he and Lily had a deal to uphold after all — but curse him, if that didn't bring on a whole new wave of appreciation, love, and insurmountable grief for his surrogate parents. The only true parents he'd ever relish knowing.

"I got a letter from their lawyer. We're doing a reading of the will January third. It'll be at the house. Lily and I are going to pack up my parents room and maybe put some things aside for ourselves. Things we may want for the forever home. After that, we're locking the house up properly. You'll come too, yeah?"

"Of course I will." And then, "You're not selling or moving in?"

James shook his head. "Can't live there but I sure as hell can't sell it. Lily thinks it'll be nice for holidays in the summer. With the pool and all but I don't know."

"I'm glad you're not selling it."

James nodded in agreement. "I hate that we have to do any of this but I'm glad I've got you and Lily."

"I hate that we have to do any of this, too."

"Sirius."

"Hmm?"

"I also wanted to say thank you for watching out for Lily when I couldn't. It means a lot to me."

"It's what we do for family," Sirius said firmly. "And no matter how much of an arse you can be, we'll always be brothers. Even if you do betray me buy getting a cat."

Christmas fucking eve. That's when Ella decided she wanted to talk to him. Christmas Eve, arguably the one night Sirius had planned to eat, drink, and have a good time and she wanted to talk.

"Can we not do this now?" Sirius snapped, as he followed Ella up to the deserted second level of the house. He'd much rather be in the kitchen with everyone else fulfilling his plan of eating, drinking, and having an all round good time.

He supposed it was his fault she wanted to talk right this second. He'd made a stupid quip about being surprised she showed and wasn't working. As usual. Apparently she hadn't liked that.

"It's not like I ever see you," Ella bit at him. "Or that you even want to be with me!"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you'd rather tell all your problems to James or Lily! It means I heard what you told Lily after Mr and Mrs Potter died! That you think Mrs Potter was right when she said we weren't going to last! It means you don't give a shit if I'm always working so I don't get why you pretend in front of other people."

"I - you were eavesdropping!" he accused. "And why the hell are you dragging James and Lily into this? They're my family! The only family I've got left."

"That's what you're concerned about right now? Because I'm more concerned about the fact that you don't think we're going to last and if you think that then just end it now and save us both the time and misery! I mean, what the fuck are we doing?"

"I'm trying to make it work but it's a bit hard when my girlfriend would rather stay late at work every night and work weekends," Sirius said coolly.

"So it's my fault now?"

"Ever since Alaia, you've been pushing me away. Don't deny it," Sirius stopped her from interrupting. "I've been living at Hogwarts since September and you haven't visited once. Even Daniels has visited Remus a few times and she's supposed to be taking it easy!"

"Merlin, you're clueless. Why would I ever want to go back to Hogwarts?" she asked icily.

"How am I supposed to know these things if you don't talk to me?" he asked. "And, okay, you don't want to come to Hogwarts, you could at least put the effort in to say one day a week you'll come home from work on time and we can spend the night in the flat!"

"I don't see you ever making that suggestion! No, you'd prefer to live up your good old school days with your mates running about Hogwarts!"

"I'd make the suggestion if I ever thought you'd actually be home," he retorted. "And that's my point."

"What?"

"You're never home and I don't even think you want to be home."

"I - that's not true."

"Sometimes actions speak louder than words, Ella. You think I'm checking out, well, the door swings both ways. You checked out a long time ago. I'm not just going to sit and wait at the flat all day hoping to see you for five minutes before you're off to work again."

Sirius strode out of the room and walked back down the four flights of stairs to the kitchen where everyone had gathered for dinner.

There weren't too many people — just the ones who didn't really have family or were confined to headquarters due to injuries. Meadowes, the Longbottoms, the Prewett twins, Emmeline, James and Lily, Sirius and Ella, Caradoc, and Remus and Daniels.

He beelined for James and Lily even though they were having a 'couple' moment. Sirius flopped into the chair closest to them and groaned his distaste to get them to stop. Lily was a darling though and by the end of the hour he was thoroughly on his way to drunk — he strongly advocated to James that they hide the pregnancy until the baby was born.

"Sirius, can we just talk?" Ella said coming up to him at the end of hour two, interrupting his conversation with Meadowes with whom he'd never really talked to before tonight.

"We already talked. There's nothing else to talk about."

"It's Christmas."

"I'm aware, even if the decorations are bleak around here."

"Come on, I don't want us to be fighting on Christmas."

"Then let's table it until boxing day. I don't have it in me to keep going in circles."

"We're fighting! We can't just table it!"

"See, that's your problem. You can't let anything fucking go," Sirius grumbled. "We'll call a truce until boxing day. It's not that bloody hard."

She huffed and stomped off, no doubt to tell Marlene all about what a dick he was being but Sirius just didn't care anymore. It was Christmas and he had enough bad Christmases to last him a childhood, he wasn't planning on having them in his adulthood. That was a new rule, Sirius decided, no fighting on Christmas.

So even though he slept on the couch at home, in the morning he crept into the bedroom with a tray of food that he'd filched from James and Lily's and the present he'd bought for her almost a month ago.

"Sirius?" she murmured rolling over to face him as he sat on his side of the bed.

"Merry Christmas, babe," he greeted. "Consider it a white flag."

She sighed as she sat up and grabbed a piece of toast.

"This doesn't make all our problems go away."

"I know … but it's a good moment. Just let the moment be good," he insisted.

"Merry Christmas," she finally replied and he smiled and gestured for her to open her present.

She grabbed the box gingerly and undid the ribbon.

"You, er, you don't have to wear it but I just thought you'd like some sort of keepsake," Sirius explained.

It was a round gold locket on a thin chain and on one side an engraving read 'Alaia' with her birthdate underneath. Sirius watched as her fingers ran over the engraving.

"On the inside is her sonogram," he explained.

"This is," her voice cracked, "really sweet."

"To match my tattoo," he told her.

He lifted his shirt and she saw the words printed on his left peck, right where his heart was. She'd seen it before but for some reason, after his gesture, it meant more now.

She smiled sadly. "This was supposed to be her first Christmas."

"I'd have bought her so many presents and you'd have been so mad at me for spoiling her."

Ella laughed and it made Sirius smile. They'd never talked about Alaia, about the what-ifs, and Ella had certainly never laughed whilst talking about her.

"I think she'd have been a daddy's girl through and through. You'd have been stay-at-home dad, spoiling her everyday. I can imagine you totting around a little girl in pink clothes in your macho leather jacket."

"All the mums would be jealous. The dads too. They wish they could be as cool as me."

"Do you think she's okay?" Ella asked softly.

"I think … I think she's perfectly all right. I think Mia and Monty are looking after her now."

Ella nodded. "That's nice. Your parents would dote over her so much and she'd love them."

"They would and she would," Sirius agreed.

They both fell silent, just soaking in their conversation and remembering their little girl. They were still parents, in a way, Sirius realised. They just didn't have their child.

"I got you a present, too," Ella finally said before she summoned it from its hiding spot.

Sirius grinned when he opened the brown dragon skin boots.

"It's from one of those more ethical companies, the ones that only use animals who die of natural causes," she added. "Do you like them?"

"Love," he assured. "I needed a good new pair. Thank you."

Then he leaned over and kissed her on the mouth like it was nothing and they both froze for a moment. Then it was a frenzy. The tray of food got knocked to the floor, the plates shattering, he ripped open the buttons on her pyjama shirt, as she pulled his t-shirt over his head.

Sirius rolled onto her, kissing down her jaw and neck, nibbling at the spot just under her ear. Her hands were everywhere, in his hair, on his shoulder, on his back, on his arse. He just needed more and more.

"Merlin, I've missed you," Sirius breathed as his mouth found hers again.

They stayed in bed until their empty stomachs had them venture for food only to come to the startling realisation that they didn't have any food.

"James probably cooked something for lunch," Sirius suggested.

"Let's just hope they're not doing what we were just doing," Ella shuddered, not fancying walking in on them.

Lily and James were in fact doing what they were just doing and Sirius and Ella snuck in quietly, trying to hold in their giggles as they raided their fridge. If the sounds coming from James and Lily's room was anything to go by, they didn't hear the intrusion.

"Bloody hell," Ella exclaimed when they were in the hallway again, Sirius now in possession of leftover chicken roast, potatoes, and rice.

"It's worth being scarred for the goods."

"Is it?" Ella considered with another laugh.

They did it again after lunch in the living room and then they lay in front of the fire on some spread out blankets.

"Well, this was not a traditional Christmas," Ella sighed, Sirius' arm lightly tracing up and down her arm.

"I don't think I ever want a traditional Christmas ever again. All Christmases should be like this … Ella," Sirius said slowly, "I know we have our problems but I have missed you."

"I've missed you, too."

They eventually fell asleep at some point, waking at random intervals but the startling one was when Ella nudged Sirius awake with a sharp poke to his ribs.

"Babe," she gestured up and there was a patronus hovering above them.

"Code red," was all the silvery tiger had to say in Moody's gruff voice but it was enough to spur Ella and Sirius into action.

They were dressed and stepping out of the grate at headquarters in under three minutes. Sirius' stomach steeled itself when he saw the group of twenty Order members. Something big was happening and it was going to be bad that was certain. How bad was the question that scared Sirius.

"Black! The Potters still out?"

Sirius hesitated and then, "Yes."

Moody gave a sure nod. "All right, listen up!" Moody shouted over the ding of chatter and everyone fell silent instantaneously. "We've just received intel that seven families are being targeted by Death Eaters. We don't know why, but we know who."

Moody quickly split everyone into seven teams and assigned each of them a house. Ella's name was called first, she was with Meadowes and Fabian. Sirius was in the fourth group called out with Marlene and Caradoc.

"Do you think it's sweet that Moody remembers who's shagging?" Marlene asked as she came into step next to him. "He didn't put one couple together in the same group. I'd say it's a talent."

Sirius refrained from answering as he rose a brow at Marlene's outfit. She was wearing sheer stockings under a suede mini-skirt with a white knitted crop top and her white boots had two inch heels on them.

"It's Christmas. I dressed cute not mission-ready," she defended. "Where's Doc?"

"I'm here," he announced. "The Harrisons are a family of five, Mr and Mrs Harrison and their three kids all under age ten. They live in Godric's Hollow. If we get there before the Death Eaters, we're to evacuate them immediately. Moody doesn't want us hanging around until the Death Eaters come 'cause we're likely to be outnumbered.

"What if the Death Eaters are already there?" Marlene asked.

"We do our best to get the family out and remember not to rely on the Harrisons for help fighting the Death Eaters. They'll most likely be in shock and we don't know how good they'll be in a fight. We ready?"

Sirius gave a stoic nod, Marlene a nervous one. Caradoc pulled a toy car out of his pocket that had a blue glow around it. A portkey. Marlene and Sirius touched a finger to the toy and they were pulled immediately out of London.

They landed in a snow-covered graveyard and Sirius couldn't help the chill that went down his spine. If they failed, a family would be freshly buried here within a week. Caradoc wasted no time leading them out of the cemetery and by the little church that guarded it.

They walked through the town and up a cobblestone lane until they reached a house. It was a perfectly normal house — more of a cottage really — but there was no doubt a magical person lived there. White roses climbed up a trellis, fully bloomed as though it were mid-spring instead of the dead of winter. The lights were on inside the house but the curtains had been drawn.

"Come on," Caradoc prodded.

They walked up the stone pathway to the front door and Caradoc knocked loudly and surely.

A little girl answered — no older than five — and she frowned. She was quite the sight with wild curly hair and her princess costume.

"Bonnie! What have we said about answering the door on your own?" a male voice called out.

"You're not Auntie Josie!" Bonnie told them accursedly and then, "Mummy!"

Bonnie's mum appeared in the hallway. She wasn't older than thirty-five and she looked at them with narrow eyes. Her hand itched up to her hair where her wand was stowed and he didn't know why, but a lump formed in his throat. Lily stowed her wand in her hair sometimes.

"Hello, Mrs Harrison," Caradoc spoke. "We've reason to believe that your family is being targeted by Death Eaters tonight and we'd like to apparate you to somewhere safe."

"I - I don't know you," she said unsurely. "I think it's best you lea-"

Sirius stepped forward. "M'am, if we were Death Eaters, if we wanted to harm you or your family, we wouldn't have bothered knocking and we wouldn't be standing here having a conversation. Please come with us and we will explain everything once we are all in a safe location."

"I-"

"Jessica, who is it?" a male voice asked — the same one as before.

"William, get-get the kids," Jessica said. "We-"

A loud crack sounded. Please be Aunt Josie, Sirius prayed. But then there was another crack. And another. And another. And another. Sirius turned. Five robed and masked Death Eaters stood in a line in front of the house, wands out.

"B-Bonnie," Mrs Harrison said weakly.

"Who's they?" the little girl asked curiously and she went to step forward but Sirius slammed the front door closed before she could reach the threshold.

"Adams, go around back. Get the family out now."

"You're outnumbered," Adams whispered.

"Now, Adams," Caradoc demanded. "Black, I hope your duelling skills are up to par."

Sirius eyed the five masked Death Eaters and muttered, "guess we'll find out."