The Edge

The sun was going down and a dark cloud loomed over the city of Edge.

"Hey" thought Cloud "Maybe that's the cloud that strange woman was talking about in my magic cave."

Cloud pulled the motorcycle into the city limits of Edge and headed to the market.

"Okay now i need to find some flowers." he thought outloud "Then Zack will love ME!"

"Cloud?" said a voice "Cloud...is that you?"

Cloud quickly turned around and saw a tall wimpy looking man with a black beard and a blue overcoat.

"Cloud its me Reeve Tuestie." the man said.

"No Mr. TwoTit it;s me ah Aerith!" Cloud replied in a squeeky girlish voice.

"Are you sure you're not Cloud?"

"Yes i'm sure see i have ribbons in my hair and im usless in virtually any battle."

"Well" said Reeve staring at Cloud's legs "I don't remember Aerith having hairy legs."

Then there was one of those akward silences that you see in crapy films.

"Ah Reeve." said Cloud.

"Yes?"

"KARUNCH!" yelled Cloud as he kicked Reeve in the balls.

"SHIT!" Reeve cried "My pussy...I mean balls!"

Reeve staggard to his feet and started to chase after Cloud.

"Don't make us chase you!" he yelled after Cloud.

"Us!"

"Yes...Us!" replied Reeve.

Reeve opened his jacket and revealed hundreds of Cait Sith's tied to his body.

"Holy Shit!" Cloud yelled.

"Now feel the screams of the damned as my tiny pussycats blow you to Oblivion!" wailed Reeve as he started to throw the dolls at Cloud with TNT strapped to their heads.

"Jesus Christ Reeve and you thought I had problems!" said Cloud.

Reeve abrutley stopped.

"You're right Cloud, how could you have ever thought of killing yourself?"

"But I-" said Cloud but Reeve cut him off.

"Let's go to my place and have some tea." said Reeve

"Okkaaay." replied Cloud slowly.

Reeve climbed into a nearby ShadowFox which he just hijacked from a little old woman.

"You might want to hang on Cloud, the ShadowFox can only go one direction so we may hit the occasional pedestrian,fag,building, pale kid, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..."

"Wow" thought Cloud "Reeve kind of looks like me, I mean god I must be the REAL Reeve...and oh my god he is an imposter!"

"Whore, j-walker, and- hey Cloud are you alright?" asked Reeve.

"Stop the ShadowFox." he replied.

"Damn it Cloud havn't you been listen to my over elaborate speech!" asked Reeve.

"uh...ah..i guess." replied Cloud.

"I told you the ShadowFox can only go in one direction and can't stop unless we hit something very hard, so hard that there is a very strong possiblity that we could die on impact."

"Why the hell do you even have this giant piece of shit?" complained Cloud. "I thought Shinra was funding the WRO!"

"Well" mumbled Reeve. "I kind of used all of the money making plush toys, I kind of have a BIG cat fetish."

"Wow I never saw that coming." lied Cloud.

"I am ashamed." said Reeve hanging his head. "I must return to my ghetto."

"Reeve listen I know this may not make sense now but it may or may not in the future, you are a pussy-"

"Hold on is that what may not make sense because I already know that." said Reeve.

"No" replied Cloud "you are not Reeve Tuestie."

"I knew it!" yelled Reeve "Im God!"

"Again damn it NO!" screamed Cloud "Now whould you please let me finish my fucking speech!"

"You may continue."

"I am going to give you a choice Reeve, if you take the blue pill you can return to your normal gay ass life and get shot in your ghetto." Cloud pulled out another pill. "But if you take the red pill you will know the truth behind everything and all will be revealed."

"Right" sighed Reeve "I think I will take the blu...red pill!"

"Good, now take off you clothes!" barked Cloud

"Is this what you meant by everything will be revealed?" asked Reeve

"Let's go with that."

Cloud grabed Reeve's clothes and put them on himself.

"Cloud this is a little uncomfortable." said Reeve covering up his naked body.

"Now Reeve I want you to put on this Cait Sith costume and come with me."

"Finally:" shrieked Reeve "My life is finally complete."

"Now that I have found myself I can continue on with my life and since you have no more money to make another Cait Sith you will have to do." said Cloud.

"Iye laddie!" replied Reeve.

"Now lets head on down to check up on our old frends." said Cloud.

And the queer couple set off to reunite with their old pals at the Cloud Strife delivery service/ bar/orphanage/whore house/ strip club.