Chapter Two: In the Air and Back on Track

"Let's set a course for New Hall," Malcolm Reynolds said quietly to his young companion.

River gave a short nod and her fingers danced over the keypad in front of her as she entered the coordinates of White Hall into the computer. "New Hall," she repeated aloud. "New border settlement."

"That's the place," Mal replied, standing. "I've got me a friend there who's willing to take some of those meds from Ariel off my hands no questions asked." Mal stretched for a moment and his hands settled behind his head as he looked outside at the starry sky. "Nice, easy job…"

"Safe too," River added, curling her legs underneath her.

"Safe as anywhere, I guess," he agreed, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. "The Alliance don't bother with border planets yet and I'm betting that's not about to change. Not any time soon anyway…"

River spun the chair around to face him and they shared a moment of understanding. "I don't like the quiet either," she said slowly.

"You hungry?" He asked and she nodded, gracefully standing. "Then why don't we go down to the mess hall and get ourselves a decent meal?"

"All right," River accepted his offer and followed him down from the engine room, through the crew quarter's hallway, into the mess hall where four of the others were seated.

"Who cooked?" Mal asked, his eyes falling on Zoë's empty chair.

"Kaylee," Jayne answered. It looked as if he was having a heck of a time trying to juggle stuffing his face, talking, and cleaning his guns.

"Is that so…" Mal replied, taking his seat at the head of the table. River, however, had a harder time finding her place.

Simon and Kaylee were sitting next to each other and Inara was sitting opposite to Mal. The only vacant chair was next to Jayne… River slowly made her way to the chair and sat down. Jayne eyed her suspiciously for a second before he returned his attention to his plate.

"So… Where we headed Cap'n?" Kaylee's voice cut through the silence like a welcome alarm and everyone seemed to come alive.

"We're going to New Hall," Mal replied, piling some protein surprise onto his own plate. "I know a guy there who needs some of the meds we got off Ariel and he's willing to pay a reasonable amount for it."

"Didn't we already sell the booty from Ariel?" Kaylee asked.

"Most of it," Mal said after taking a bite, "but we still got meds that need sellin'."

"Sounds mighty boring," Jayne said, not looking away from his gun, which was beginning to shine by now and everyone looked at him. "What? Like you all don't think it sounds boring…"

"After all that's happened, boring sounds pretty good to me," Simon input. Reaching to the napkin on his lap, he lifted it to his face and wiped the crumbs from around his mouth.

"Me too," Kaylee agreed, leaning her head against his shoulder.

Inara, who was being unusually quiet, caught Mal's attention. She hadn't taken a bite of her food and her eyes hadn't left her plate in over a minute.

"Don't think there's any decent work to be had for you out there, Inara," Mal said and Inara looked up, met his eyes for a second, and then looked away. "So I was thinking you might want us to drop you off somewhere else for a few days and pick you up when we come round again."

"I'm not a companion any more," she said quietly and Mal couldn't hide the surprised look on his face. "I sent the guild a wave before we left…"

"Why would you do that?" Mal questioned, asking the same question that everyone had on his or her lips.

"I got a fresh taste of what life as a true companion was when I left Serenity," Inara said, finally meeting Mal's eyes. "Sihnon was just as beautiful as I remembered, but… It was lonely… and empty," she added, looking around at her companions. "I've since realized that I've got a family here and life is too short to sacrifice that. Even for all the gold, money, and glamour that comes with being a companion."

"Here, here," Simon said seriously, holdings up his glass.

"To family," Kaylee added, clinking her glass with Simon's.

"To crew," Mal said as he joined them.

"To guns," said Jayne, but he didn't join the cheers. His glass was already empty.

"To friends," River murmured and they all took a long, hearty drink from their glasses.

"Didn't miss much, I hope?" asked a new voice. Mal set down his glass and turning, his eyes fell upon Zoë.

"Hey Zo'," Kaylee exclaimed with a wide, blue-eyed smile. "Come have a seat." She tapped Simon on the shoulder, giving him a meaningful look, and he jumped up, motioning for her to sit in his stead.

"Thanks," she said with a small laugh. "But I can get a different chair," Zoë insisted, walking to the corner where two unused, foldout chairs were stacked. Simon sat back down and they all waited silently for her to join them. Once she pulled up to the table, Inara started making a plate for her, but Zoë shook her head, stopping Inara from putting any on it. "Ain't really been hungry," Zoë said, placing a nauseas hand over her abdomen.

Inara nodded, a sympathetic look on her friendly face. "Of course…" she said, placing the plate back on the stack at the center of the table.

"How are you holdin' out, Zoë?" Mal asked, but Zoë didn't have to answer. Her disheveled hair, tired eyes, and drooping shoulders said it all.

"Better'n I thought I would," Zoë admitted. "I'm just tired is all," she said. Suddenly she closed her eyes and winced in pain, grabbing her stomach. "Captain?" she asked. "Is the ship spinnin'?"

"Not at the moment…" Mal replied.

"Are you all right?" Inara asked, draping a soothing arm around her.

"Maybe you should let me have a look at you," Simon said, standing, but Zoë shook her head, finally opening her eyes.

"Just a dizzy spell… It's over now," she insisted. "I'm all right. I just need to go lie down."

"I'll help you to your bunk," Inara offered and Zoë was about to refuse when she was wracked with another wave of dizziness.

"All right then," Zoë agreed.

After Inara and Zoë left, the table was once again plunged into comfortable silence as they finished eating and drinking.

"She don't look very good," Kaylee suddenly said, looking down at her plate sadly.

Simon saw her distress and placed a comforting arm around her.

Letting out a loud sigh, Mal stood, stretching with a yawn. "Well," he began, "course is set and we're all overdue for a good night's sleep." Pushing his chair in, Mal turned and walked away from the table. "I'll spend a few more minutes in the cockpit, then I'll head to bed myself."

"Hell, I'm ready for bed right now," Jayne said with a loud moan. Gathering up his guns, he neglected to push in his chair and walked through the crew hallway.

"Me too," River said with a yawn.

"'Night, mei mei," Simon said as she stood and made her way down to the guest quarters.

"See you, River," Kaylee called after her. Turning to Simon she smiled widely.

"What?" Simon asked, unable to stop himself from smiling back.

"You tired too, Doctor?" she asked, wrapping her arms slowly around his neck.

"No," he replied, leaning forward. "Not terribly tired…"

Mal had been sitting in the dark cockpit for nearly an hour before he drifted into a deep but restless sleep. Within minutes of closing his eyes, he was on the battlefield again-- smack in the middle of Serenity Valley.

He could tell it was early in the day because the morning sun's soft light beamed down on him, accompanied by the familiar blaring sounds of sirens and other similar noises that invoked fear in any sane soldier.

Standing, he picked up his government issued Independent Faction Rifle and went in search of Zoë.

It wasn't fully light outside but they were all used to it being dark. It was February on Hera, late winter, and the sun's cycle was growing more and more slow and strange. It was nothing at all like it had been on Shadow… He had always known what to expect at home.

Suddenly, a loud, heart-stopping whizzing sound filled the air and Mal froze. "Duck!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. "Take cover!" He yelled even as he made his way further through the ruined holding place, neglecting his own advice.

The sound of a sonic mortar filled their ears and for a split second, the independents didn't breath… Then it hit and there was immediate chaos as broken cement and what remaining glass there had been nearby took flight, covering, hitting, and maiming any soldier left in its path.

Mal, who had dove behind a large wall of a dilapidated building, immediately sprang to action looking for wounded men who needed help. But his body refused to move and he watched helplessly as it turned dark then light then dark again and dead body after dead body after dead body was stacked in front of his eyes.

Suddenly there were thousands of the corpses and the whole field was filled with mountains of dead bodies… mountains of friends and enemies alike, stacked together, creating a grotesque picture of everything Mal had not thought the war would be. And all the while, it was turning light then dark then light...

Falling to his knees, Mal called out, his blue eyes wide with fear, uncomprehending of the fact that his unconscious mind was at work in creating the frightening image before him. That it was replaying in fast motion and distorting the events he had faced only six years before.

And then the sky and the land went silent and the sun stayed put… not a sound could be heard. Serenity Valley was dead… The silence was deafening…

Mal stood slowly, the sound of his rustling uniform amplified in the maddening silence. Walking forth, he looked into the eyes of fallen comrades, some were men he had grown up with and others were boys who were barely old enough to fly a motor vehicle. But there were also old men with beards of gray and eyes almost white with their years.

Mal felt a groan build within him, which turned into a sob, which turned into a yell of utter agony and anger.

He heard the whizzing sound of an Alliance Assault Rifle being charged and he turned, his hands high in the air, an expression of rage and loss evident in every line on his face. But despite his raised arms, the Alliance soldier before him didn't hesitate to pull the trigger and Mal watched in slow motion as a bullet was discharged from the man's gun and entered the soft flesh of his abdomen.

Looking down, Mal pulled his hand away from the wound and saw his body's blood gush out in a smooth torrent of red. Distantly he heard the sound of resumed gunfire.

Falling to his knees yet again, he looked back up to the man, but the Alliance soldier had already turned to walk away… he was going off to kill more independents, Mal thought inwardly and he drew his weapon… maybe it wasn't his weapon.

Loading it with a single bullet from his ammo belt while holding one hand over his wound, Mal aimed, steadied his shaking arm, and pulled the trigger.

He missed…

Mal fell backwards over himself into an oddly stretched position and lay there waiting for death. "Gorram it…" He muttered angrily. "Gorram ruttin' 'liance…" He whispered. And suddenly Inara was kneeling next to him, her almond eyes pointed down at him, tears falling down her smooth, tanned cheek and there was yelling, yelling all around them.

What was she doing on the battlefield, he asked himself, but before he could ask her, Kaylee appeared, then Simon, then Jayne and River followed by Wash and Zoë… but last of all to appear was Shepherd Book who was holding his bible tightly to his chest, the chiding look of a disappointed father Mal had never known on his kind but weathered face…

Before he could say a word or ask a question he had the oddest sensation of flying over the edge of a cliff in his stomach and Inara began sobbing, reaching for his face with her soft, delicately angled hands.

He thought she was going to touch him That she was going to beg him to hold on and to wait for help to get there, but with a pang of helpless fear, he felt and saw her gently close his eyelids, uttering a heart-felt prayer of peace and serenity over him and then he disappeared…

"Mal?" entered a soft voice into his dream. "Mal, wake up… It's Inara."

Mal was jolted awake drenched in sweat, his muscles tight with the type of tension only a soldier in the heat of battle knows. Then, slowly his eyes adjusted to the dark and he realized he wasn't at war any more, but neither was he in his bunk.

"Shah muh!" Looking up, his eyes met Inara's and he sighed. Now he remembered falling asleep in the cockpit.

"Are you all right?" she asked, leaning against the control module. "I heard you shouting… I thought you were hurt," she said, true concern on her face. She was already dressed in her nightclothes and her hair was loose, the brown tendrils cascading over her delicate, smooth shoulders and Mal realized he must have woken her.

"I'm fine," Mal lied, wiping the sweat from his brow. "Just dreaming is all."

"Nightmares?" she pressed and for a second he thought about denying it, but instead, he nodded. "What about?"

"I don't remember most of it," he said, looking away. "All I know is that I die. Every single time, I die."

"You look tired," she said softly, gently tracing her fingertips along the circles under his eyes.

"So do you," he replied, standing, and Inara followed suit. "Why are you up anyway?" he asked, his tone a little more harsh than he meant it to be. However, if Inara noticed, she didn't show it.

"I couldn't sleep," she admitted, pulling her silken robe tighter around her. "I was worried about Zoë."

"She ain't doin' so well," Mal said, relieved someone else wanted to talk about it. "You know, I've never seen her take anything near so badly."

"Mal," Inara chided, "she's lost her husband…"

"You don't think I know that?" Mal snapped back. "I lost me a damn good pilot too you know..." He said, his voice trailing into nothingness. "A friend…"

"We all lost a friend, Mal," Inara murmured, touching his shoulder, but he pulled away and walked to the wall. "Gorram it, Mal… Talk to me!" Inara barked.

"I don't feel much like talkin' right this moment, Inara," Mal returned. "And the fact is, we never get around to talking about what's really on our minds anyway," he decided to add.

"And what exactly is on my mind, Mal?" she asked and he paused, looking at her and the vivid image of her crying over his dead body came unbidden to his mind.

"Bed," Mal replied.

"Shuh muh?"

"We should head to bed… It's late," he replied all too quickly and Inara sighed loudly, growling something inaudible as she stormed past him and into the darkness of the rest of the ship. "Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng," he cursed under his breath as he opened the door to his quarters.

He climbed down the ladder into the darkness and practically dropped on his bed. He was so tired that not five minutes later, he was in the deep dreamless sleep that only the truly exhausted ever know.

Shah muh-- What?

Shuh muh-- I'm sorry?

Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng-- frog-humping sonofab