Letty's POV
I hated it. Lying there, helpless. They took it away before I could even take a look. What did it matter anyway? It would only hurt to see. The nurses gave me that sympathetic look that makes you want to hit them if only to make yourself feel better. Mia cried whenever she came in to check on me. Vince, he stayed strong for us, knowing we would need it. And Alex? Well, he couldn't even look at me.
I don't blame him though. I wouldn't be able to look at the woman who had killed our baby. Alright, it wasn't my fault, it just felt like it. I don't think I had ever experience pain this badly before. It wasn't just physical, though that was bad in itself. It was emotionally and mentally all-encompassing too.
Why would someone burden me with this? Hadn't I paid my dues to the world yet? To think of a person's fate being to die before their first breath was sickening. To know my child was never going to see the world was even worse.
They tried to keep me in the hospital, said that they needed to monitor me. I wasn't having any of it. I checked myself out that night, Mia was still in the waiting room. We took a taxi back to my place, Vince and Alex were already there.
Everything after that was a blur.
Three days later we had the funeral. For the daughter I'd never know. Nicole would have been her name. I couldn't bring myself to call her it then. It made it too…real. I froze seeing the small coffin, carried by Vince and Alex. I don't remember getting up and running out but I did. I ended up at some seedy Chinese bar and sat there for hours.
Numb.
I talked, no slurred, to the barman about the last four days. He told me he had a solution. That's how it started. He slipped the small package into my hand, said to go to the bathroom and get my head clear. I did just that. It was so easy, just like that all my troubles were gone. Okay, not gone, but a distant memory.
After that I became impossible to live with. Alex tried his best, he wanted to work things out but we just couldn't. Our marriage was falling apart. One day I got home from the bar and he was gone. Left a nice little note too.
My beautiful wife,
I had to go, I hope you understand. We need space, maybe we can figure things out. I really hope we can, I love you so much. Speak soon.
Love,
Alex.
So that was that. I lost my baby and my husband left me all in the same week. I scrunched up the letter and threw it in the trash. I leaned against the counter top and took a deep breath. I ran a hand threw my hair and sighed heavily.
It was our first year anniversary that day and I spent it alone. Drinking.
-x-
"Vince she's falling apart at the seams, we have to do something" Mia was yelling at him. I could hear her, imagined her hands flailing and waving in the air as she paced the confines of my living room.
I lifted my head, a groan escaping my parched lips, my eyes struggling to adjust in the brightness of my room. Seeing that it was only ten I buried my head under the pillow. They continued arguing, now slightly muffled, about me for another twenty minutes, or so before I heard them leaving.
Hastily, I stepped out of bed, my feet sinking into the comfort of my slippers as I slid on a robe. I headed out of the bedroom towards the kitchen, not daring to look in any of the mirrors that I passed on the way. If I looked even a fraction of how I felt I didn't want to see.
Once in the kitchen I found that Mia had so kindly set out breakfast for me alongside an inviting coffee and two aspirins. She had always done things like this without thinking twice. It was what made her so…Mia. Normally I would roll my eyes in amusement and enjoy the little gift she had left but this time, I just couldn't. Maybe it was guilt that I had been acting so irresponsibly or possibly that my head was being intruded by a dull a throb. More than likely, it was both.
Just as I was about to lower myself to the chair a shrill interruption sounded. I flinched but stretched over for the handset. My mouth parted in shock when a familiar voice uttered 'hey' in reply to my 'hello?'.
Knots twisted tight in my stomach, my eyes fluttered closed at the memories that stirred. I finally managed to get out the words that competed with my surprise, my headache temporarily forgotten during what turned out to be an interesting conversation. Hanging up I stared at the phone in my shaking hand, forcing myself to continue breathing.
Then I got up, breakfast forgotten.
I know I shouldn't have done it but I did. I went and dragged a duffel bag out from under my bed and started throwing things in, filling it with what I thought I might need, whilst on the phone to the airline to book a flight. It happened so fast, a blur of actions held together by an unmistakable determination. It was selfish and would probably hurt Mia and Vince, they had always stuck by me and I was deserting them. For some reason though I never factored it into my decision, or rather, my impulse.
I needed to get away from everything that reminded me of this place and who better to try and help me move on than people that knew nothing of it. I was out of my apartment only ten minutes later and after a short journey in the elevator I went out to hail a cab.
I was on my way to meet Jesse and Leon.
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Lex