Quirrell bounces off the floor for the umpteenth time as he narrowly missed a grab due to needing to contort himself in mid-air to avoid a flying sabre. It had taken both him and his master a couple of months to find a ritual to increase his perceptions enough to survive those damn things. On top of that, trying to use magic on them just leads to all of them trying to attack the caster. As he stands up, one of his fingers hangs uselessly in his gloves.
"Master!"
"I am aware Quirrell, you must either catch a unicorn, or complete this task."
"Yes master."
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Arry looks up from her steak and small Acromantula as Luna flames into the Great Hall, "Luna! You made it."
Luna nods as her tail swishes behind her, "I did, and I have children like you promised I would."
Head Master McGonagall stands up at the head table, "Attention everyone, I would like you all to welcome Luna Lovegood who has been staying with us since just before Christmas. As she is like Arry, please treat her with respect. We are also going to be visited by her adopted family," She looks down at Arry and Luna who are talking, "as well as some of her children. Please be aware that the children are like Murph, only newborns."
As if that was a signal, suddenly the area around the doors is filled with chattering Veela of all ages as they flame in in twos and threes. There's even a few children of various ages, ranging from toddlers to teenagers.
An unforeseen effect of this, is that absolutely everyone that's gone through puberty, and is attracted to women, goes gaga insane as their eyes glaze over. Much to Arry's surprise, this includes Professor Babbling and Professor Vector. Minerva clears her throat, "Ladies, would you be able to reign in your allure before you cause irreversible damage to the egos of the young men here, please."
Startled, the atmosphere changes like a bubble being popped. As it does, the 4 younger children all run over to Arry and pull her into a hug, "Grandqueen, can we play in the forest please?"
Arry blinks, "Why are you asking me? Shouldn't you ask your own queen?"
"But she says we can't go until we can change like she can."
"Well, that's the same rule that everyone else uses. Though some of my children can't do that, but their tails and claws have grown in."
As there's a chorus of 'but that's not fair', Harry turns back to Luna, "Where's your father?"
Luna flushes scarlet, "Um, Clothilde has been showing him how much she appreciates a man that isn't affected by her allure, as well as the visits that mum and dad did to give her a rest and company."
"I see, well, I'll leave that well alone then."
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Minerva struts down the corridor in the MoM towards the meeting room. Her entire body language unconsciously mimicking a particularly dangerous predator on the hunt for a good meal. Under her robes the short tail, that has started to develop, swishes back and forth in anticipation. When she reaches the door, it opens with a click, followed by a crunch as she accidentally shears the bolt in the internal mechanism.
As she steps over the threshold, she spies Madam Marchbanks resting on a comfortable chair in a corner. After a heartbeats pause, she continues to walk in, and pushes the door closed behind her. When it bounces back, she uses a touch of elf magic to push it closed and lock it. Slowly the stalks to her seat at the end of the table, noting that Malfoy's seat hasn't been filled yet.
"Madam Marchbanks, are you here as an observer?"
The ancient witch nods and smiles, "Indeed I am, I expect this to be entertaining."
Minerva smiles, "I'm hoping that it is boring and they have an acceptable plan already in the works."
The men sitting around the table all shift uncomfortably, especially when she takes her place at the head of the table and makes a show of sitting down.
"Gentlemen, the spring holiday starts in a months time, so I need an update on the boards progress for increasing student numbers."
Bellevue mutters, "(I'm still having the contract translated, how am I supposed to have come up with a plan)"
Minerva smiles sweetly at the man, "That's simple Mr Bellevue, by doing your job. After all, you are one of the duly elected representatives of the Ministry of Magic sitting on the board, in order to oversee the quality of education in Hogwarts School of Magic."
"(She has ears on her)" Bellevue's neighbour, Mr Shorten, snorts.
Minerva smiles, "It is well known that I am a cat animagus. Well gentlemen?"
Mr Heriot raises a hand, "Um, the current rules state that only children of alumni and those not automatically enrolled in the Ministry run schools can be invited. But, erm…"
Minerva looks over at the young man, "Mr Heriot is it?"
Heriot nods, "Yes Professor McGonagall."
"Have you signed the charter yet?"
"No Professor, I was going to do it in this meeting, my father abdicated his position as head of the family two weeks ago."
"I see, well, as board positions aren't inherited, they're voted, I will need to ask you to sit next to Madam Marchbanks until you are voted in. You may also wish to take notes for your father, as he is still a board member until a replacement has been voted in."
Once Mr Heriot has taken a seat on a conjured stool, Minerva turns back to the board, "Gentlemen?"
Mr Raby says, "No, no, I'm quite interested in what the young man has to say."
Minerva give a predatory grin, "Well, you should have considered that during the 6 months since the last meeting."
"But the voters."
"Have nothing to do with the board of governors, it is a body elected by the Wizengamot, not the public."
Mr Bellevue exclaims, "Now see here, I don't know who you think you are, telling us our own jobs."
"Mr Bellevue, I am the acting Head Master of Hogwarts, and I am the person that notified you of a problem with the school, in accordance to the charter, 6 months ago. Since then, you have had 6 meetings without inviting me, during which time you could have discussed the problem I raised." Minerva pulls out 6 rolls of parchment and opens one, "Instead, you discussed whether or not the school brooms should be replaced. Your conclusion was that they still fly so no. Whether or not there are adequate teaching staff in the school, your conclusion there was 7 votes to 2 that there's no scheduling problems, so there are enough staff. Finally, you discussed the yearly renumeration for board members and unanimously voted through a 10% pay rise. That was just September, would you like me to go through the other months?"
Mr Shorten looks over at Madam Marchbanks before coughing, "No, that's quite alright."
Minerva looks over at Madam Marchbanks, who nods, "Then, in accordance with Amendment 6, section 1, part 4, I declare this board corrupt. According to our charter, 50% of all school age children should be receiving an academic education at Hogwarts, where they are taught all of the branches of magic, except Necromancy and those magics not native to the United Kingdom. The school currently has a population of 800 students out of a school age population of 3,000 children, this is just over half the population that should currently be attending the school. This has also affected the funding for the school, leaving us unable to provide the level of education and supervision required to get the best out of each student.
"As the acting Head Master, and with a member of the Department of Education as a witness, I am invoking the punitive measures discussed last time. Until such time as the student population has been brought up to the required levels, or all members of the current board have been declared bankrupt, the board will be required to provide the funding shortfall caused by this discrepancy. Additionally, according to amendment 6 section 2 part 4, I am required to inform you of the fact that if you are declared bankrupt, you will be forbidden from holding any public office for a period of no less than 5 years."
Mr Heriot puts his hand up, "Um Professor?"
Minerva huffs, "Mr Heriot, you graduated 5 years ago and we are not in school. Just ask your question."
Mr Heriot looks at Marchbanks, who nods encouragingly, "What does 'holding any public office' mean?"
Minerva smiles warmly, "It merely refers to any job that you have due to being elected into by either the public, or their duly elected representatives. Such as judges, members of the Wizengamot, and also school board members. There's a large number of additional committees and sub-committees in the government, and various positions in the few magical villages around the country. All of which are elected."
Mr Bellevue surges to his feet, "You can't do that, we'd be ruined."
Minerva cocks her head to one side, "Mr Bellevue, I believe that you are mistaking the consequences of your mismanagement for punitive measures by myself. I am merely doing my duties as set down in the School Charter. Hogwarts did not want, or need, the board of governors, but she caved to political pressure for standardising the quality of education across the nation. This board of governors has seen Hogwarts fall from it's position of having the best NEWT results across the country, and counted amongst the top 5 schools in the magical world, to being above average in NEWT results in the country, and our countries NEWT exams are no longer recognised on the international stage. Congratulations, because of you and Mr Dumbledore, I have been lying to our muggleborn students for the last 10 years about Hogwarts being the best school in the country.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to hunt some lunch to calm down before accompanying Madam Marchbanks to the records office to have the minutes of the meeting notarised and witnessed. Then I need to deliver a copy to the Wizengamot and Gringotts so that we can get proper funding during the next school year, starting in August."
Madam Marchbanks chuckles, "Don't worry about Gringotts deary, I'll make sure that a notarised copy is delivered to them just as soon as the meeting ends."
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"Hey Beth, are you looking forward to Easter?"
Beth looks up from the homework she's marking, "Hmm, not as much as I was. The Queen wants us all on ship, something to do with the Russians being stupid or something."
Septima looks down at her hands, "What about our magical retreat?"
Beth stands up and takes Septima's hand, "Seppy, I want to go as much as you do, but I want you to be safe more. We've found a frozen hive, and the Russians are planning to do something to it now they know where it is. Septima, I've experienced the memories of what happened the first time Arry came close enough to an enemy Queen to feel them, and that was about half the distance to the moon. I care for you a lot, and I think that's growing into love. But you're not part of either hive, and I don't want to kill you because you're in between me and a rival hive."
"Beth, it doesn't have to be in the home counties, I just want to spend a long weekend with you."
Beth looks stricken, "Septima, I can't take you to the ship, it's not safe for a human."
"But what if I didn't care about that, what if I just want to be with you."
Arry flames into the room with them, a face-hugger curled around her hand already, "Then you need only ask." When the two women spin to face her, Arry adds, "I could feel Bathsheba thinking about the dangers of the ship and her reluctance to leave over easter. Beth, hold out your hand, this face-hugger will live for about 24 hours outside its egg. I'll leave you to your discussion."
Once she flames away, Septima turns on Beth, "Beth, what was that?"
"That was my Queen providing her assistance. Septima, being with the hive is the best thing that's ever happened to me after getting to know you. I couldn't imagine anything else now. But there's no privacy at all in the hive. We don't go looking at each other's thoughts all the time, but you can't avoid it, and even the most cursory question will see it answered by someone in the hive."
Septima takes Beth's free hand, "Beth, why haven't you mentioned this option before."
"Septima, I…" Beth grimaces, "Yes my Queen. Arry just told me to be honest." Beth looks down at the face-hugger, "Septima, Arry has been doing better at not forcing people into her hive, or even pressuring them into it. I didn't want to bring it up in case you saw it as an ultimatum, and decided you didn't want it, and didn't want me. Or worse, decided to do it because you wanted to be with me, but didn't want to be part of the hive."
"Beth, I didn't even know it was something I could ask for. Now, how does that work?"
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"E'jeah, what do you mean you're leaving?"
"Just that Mad-eye, the Queen doesn't want any of her hive on Earth while the Russians are doing their experiment."
"Why not... Morgana's saggy tits, she thinks they're going to wake up the Queen."
"Indeed, and it would be better if we didn't immediately try to slaughter everyone in the area on our way to the Queen."
"Then what?"
E'jeah flares her mandibles, "We will return after easter, and either wipe out the hive or return to Hogwarts."
"E'jeah, how likely is it you'll need to wipe out the hive?"
"A hunter always keeps their weapons sharp."
Moody digests this for a moment, "They're going to kill everyone here aren't they."
"Probably."
Moody turns to face the bundle of activity that is the Unspeakables carving some sort of massive ritual array, "Why don't you think it's going to work?"
E'jeah taps a few icons on the computer, "Here, thermal energy converters. Yautja technology that will wake up the Queen and power the hive. Tried to tell, but ignored as not magical."
"Bloody idiots, I assume they spouted the 'technology can't function around magic' rubbish."
E'jeah nods, even as Moody pointedly looks at the working scanning computer, "Right, well I'm not staying here either. I'll go with you when you leave."
"I can't you wouldn't…"
"Then give me one of those bloody face things, I can't get back to Britain on my own, and I'm not suicidal. Or stupid for that matter."
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Theresa looks over at Donald with a smile on her face, something she's been doing a lot since she was given the face-hugger, "Donald, do you remember when we went to that park when Sally was 5?"
Donald looks up from his paper sadly, as it's probably another memory that she got from Sally, "I do."
Theresa beams, "How about the bit where you tried to make her some candyfloss while she was on the Merry-go-Round?"
Donald laughs, "Yeah, that was funny. I had to get candyfloss out of my hair after that gust of wind."
"Oh good, so it's not my imagination that I licked it out of your ear in the family bathroom."
"Tess! That was mortifying… Tess… That's one of your memories isn't it."
Theresa nods, "I'm never sure if they're real or not though. Like the time we were making love on a cheap bed when a cockroach fell out of the ceiling and landed on your shoulder."
Donald laughs, "No, that was real. Mum volunteered to say over for the weekend and look after Sally, so we drove out into the countryside and booked into the first bed and breakfast that said it had vacancies."
"See, that's what I mean. I don't remember the rest of that, just the bed and screaming when the cockroach landed." Theresa takes a deep breath, "Donny, we, that is the hive, need to leave Earth over the Easter holidays. And, well, I was hoping you might join the hive so we can go together."
"Tess, you don't know what you're asking. I'm a man damn it."
Theresa shakes her head, "I do, Henry Granger, Hermione's father, is going through the same thing."
"Tess."
Theresa scribbles a number before she leaves the room in tears, "This is their number."
Donald stares at the scrap of paper as he hears the front door slam. He stands there for a long time in silence, long enough for the ticking clock to seem loud and maddening. Eventually, he turns the piece of paper over and writes, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." On the otherside, before grabbing a few changes of clothes and driving to a friends house.
Half an hour later, Theresa lets herself back in and sees the note. As she bursts into tears, she disappears in a flash of fire.
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As the Easter holidays begin, the Head Master, all of the aliens, most of the first year Hufflepuffs, and a couple of key staff members all leave Hogwarts for the holiday. This leaves Quirrell supervising the school with only a few other teachers. It's therefore not hard for him to arrange to be on patrol during the main feast of the holiday, as the other professors are all interested in enjoying the meal and company than the lonely task of walking the school.
As soon as he's sure that everyone's at the feast, he hurries to the third floor corridor. There it's a simple matter to bypass the devils snare and make his way to the obstacle course. There he grimaces, even as he looks up at the flashing blades while the flashing light stabilises. Despite his Lords assistance, he has had absolutely no success in being able to bypass the obstacle course. On top of that, if he hadn't had his Lords assistance with the rituals, the course would have killed him many times over.
Over the next hour, and with the assistance of conjured parchment, feathers, and even ink, Quirrell slowly makes his way up the course to the open doorway. As he claws his way over the edge of the doorway with his remaining fingers, after losing a hand to the same blade that made him miss the jump last time, he lets out a deep breath.
Walking forward, he brings his wand up and sends lights ahead of him into the room beyond. Stopping in surprise, he surveys the resin covered room, looking for any surprises or exits. Scattered around the room are two dozen leathery sacks, one of which starts to open. A quick severing charm deals with the creature that comes out.
"What do you think Master?"
"The stone must be in one of these things, proceed carefully as I've never seen a creature like that."
Over the next 5 minutes Quirrell takes out his frustrations on the creatures in each of the two dozen eggs, making sure that he has a clear view of the entire room at all times. Unnoticed behind him, hidden behind a fold in the resin by the door, the first magical egg that Luna ever laid hatches.
As Quirrell vanishes the creatures remains, he carefully cuts open each of the eggs and sorts through it with a conjured stick. He's just reaching the last row when something drops on his shoulder from the ceiling. Spinning around, his wand already coming up as he dodges to one side, he is blindsided by a face-hugger using it's tail to catch his neck and latch on as it covers his face.
Groggily, Quirrell rolls onto his side onto one of those creatures he must have missed, "Master, I don't think the stone is in here."
"What happened Quirrell?"
"I don't know master, I think I blacked out. Possibly one of those seizures you've been having."
"We will have to try again, though they'll be on guard next time."
"Yes Master."
With that Quirrell walks out of the room, and sends an aresto momentum charm at the floor as he jumps.