Lovers In a Dangerous Time

Chapter Eight

I'm Not That Weak Ya Know

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Life hadn't been easy for Harry sense the fall of Voldemort, nor had he expected it to be, but nothing could prepare him for the hardships that came from becoming a vampire. Having finally managed to feed and keep it down, he felt better about his situation, but still something tugged at his heart. His head was telling him that he needed to tell Ginny everything about what was happening between them, but his heart was telling him that he would be a fool to do so. What he really needed was someone to talk to who wasn't connected to the situation.

Thankfully, a few days after his last visit with Erin Lovegood, Harry found the right person to talk to. After fighting his urge to be awake at night, he finally gave in and went out to the kitchen to find a late night treat. Harry finding a box of biscuits and a butterbeer then sat down at the table and picked up the previous day's prophet. Half way through the front page, Lupin came stumbling into the kitchen, dressed in his night things, looking rather aggravated.

"Oh, Harry...I didn't know you were up." Lupin said.

"I'm still having trouble sleeping at night." Harry pulled up a chair and motioned for Lupin to sit. "What's got you up so late?"

"Tonks, she kicks when she sleeps." Lupin rubbed his eyes and looked wearily down at the box of biscuits and took one.

"Hey, while your up do you mind If I run something by you?" Harry asked as he put his paper down. Lupin gave him a look that told him to continue. "Well that book that Hermione gave me said, this is sorta embarrassing, but there is a lot more to this lifemate thing than what Hermione read. When we touch each other it's almost painful, if feels as if our skin is burning off. The book said that would stop, only once we...we um..."

"Have sex." Lupin finished with a smile. "It's the same way with werewolves."

"Really? Oh good, then you understand." Harry was truly relived that someone understood him. "But in order to stop this burning I have to take her blood, while having sex. I really don't want to do this mainly because I don't know what's going to happen to her. And considering we haven't done it yet, I'm even more nervous."

"Well, it's not exactly the same with werewolves, cause we don't take blood, but we do have lifemates. We have to fight the urge to bite them while we're, ya know." Lupin smiled and leaned back in his chair. "My suggestion it to talk to her about it. If you tell her that, you will both feel better with each other once you do it, she may agree to whatever will happen. If not, then respect her wishes."

Harry thought about how Tonks was giggling when Hermione was telling him about lifemates a few days back, because she knew exactly what she was talking about. "Well, that's not going to be the hard part of the conversation. I read that vampires can only have one lifemate, and after their lifemate dies, I can never be with anyone else. Which wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't going to live forever."

"That's also the same with werewolves but we don't live as long as you do. We can live to be a few hundred years old but we will eventually die. Just tell her Harry, it will make you feel better." Lupin said.

"No you don't understand, unless I turn her into a vampire too and we live together forever, I will never be able to love anyone again...ever! When she dies, my human heart will die too, leaving me with only my vampire heart. When that happens I will no longer be me, I'll turn into something dark and evil...like the person who made me."

Lupin just looked at Harry, speechless. "So unless you turn her too, or you leave her and find another vampire to be with then when she dies, basically you die too only your body will live on?"

"Yup, and the moment I take her blood, it seals the deal so to speak." Harry said.

"No wonder your not sleeping at night, Harry." Lupin said. "But still my suggestion remains, tell her the truth. She has a right to know what your dealing with, you owe her that much." Lupin stood up and put a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Try to get some sleep Harry, I'm going to do the same. But before I go, I have a question for you. How did you get Dumbledore's wand?"

"Oh, that's easy. It was the only thing he left me in his Will, he knew that Voldemort's and my wand couldn't match up, having the same cores and all. So he gave me his, It's my one true treasure." Lupin nodded and started to walk from the room. Harry stood up, one last question was bothering him, "Lupin, can you and Tonks talk to each other. I mean in your minds, without anyone else hearing what your saying?"

Lupin turned around and suddenly looked worried, "I don't think that has anything to do with you being a vampire Harry, I have only heard of that happening with very powerful wizards. Dumbledore could do it as far as I know, he didn't talk about it much. Talk to Hermione, she may be able to help you find something out about it. Good night Harry."

"Night." Harry mumbled.

Harry grabbed his butterbeer and headed back to his bedroom. Sat his bottle on the bedside table then crawled back under the covers. He thought about Lupin's simple answers to his questions, tell her the truth. He was right, Harry needed to be honest with her, it was the only way to deal with his new situation. Harry amused himself for a moment, wondering how many other vampires have dealt with this. Was this the reason why so many vampires had gone dark and turned to Voldemort?

Harry? A feeble voice drifted across his mind.

Ginny? Why are you awake? Harry was more amazed that they could actually talk to each other this far away. It pained his head slightly to put so much effort into concentrating, but she was worth it.

I could feel you, something is wrong. Your emotions were so strong it woke me up, this connection of ours is so strange.

Harry smiled, Are you up now? I need to talk to you, can I come over?

Of course, I'll go unlock the front door.

Moments later Harry found himself being tugged up the stairs of the Burrow by Ginny. She pushed him into her room quietly then shut her door, after looking in the hallway to make sure everyone was still asleep. Harry had sat himself on Ginny's bed and waited for her to sit down and cover her bare legs up with her sheets before he spoke.

Harry pulled Love and Blood, the blue leather book out of his back pocket and handed it to Ginny. "I'm not done with that, I'll want it back but there are some things in there that we need to talk about."

"Am I going to finally find out why you tried to push me away and why you won't take my blood."

Harry sighed, "Yes, but please understand that I did both of those things for your own safety."

"Your always so noble, Harry." Ginny said sarcastically as she flipped through the blue book.

Harry made himself comfortable on Ginny's bed, laying beside her, looking up into her never ending ginger hair and told her everything he had discussed with Lupin not but an hour before. Ginny didn't speak as Harry flipped through Love and Blood to show her where he was getting his information. Harry was surprised that Ginny seemed to be calmly understanding what Harry was telling her. First he told her about the connection they shared and how to make the burning stop, then after a long pause he told her about how his heart would die when she did.

Harry thought telling Ginny would make him feel better, but he was quite wrong. He soon realized that he was suddenly pushing choices onto Ginny that would change both of their futures and there was nothing he could do to help. All the choices that had to be made needed to come from her. Harry was not going to force her to do anything she didn't want him to do.

When Harry was done talking, Ginny was silent for awhile before she spoke, "So basically, I have to either give myself to you completely or we can't be together?"

Harry grimaced at her harsh words, "In a manner of speaking...yes. But look, you don't have to decided today. And if you still want to be with me but just not turned into a vampire, I'm fine with that. I would live a million years alone if it meant that I could spend even one second with you. I'll take what you have to give me, no matter what that is."

Ginny smiled, "I'm okay with the bit about taking my blood to ease our discomfort, but I'm not sure about the rest of it Harry. It's a big choice to make, one that could take me awhile. And if I understand you right then we could have years together before I really have to make that choice."

Harry could have jumped out of bed and screamed at that very moment, she wanted to be with him, she was choosing him. "Right, I don't care if it takes you fifty years to make up your mind, as long as I get to be with you while waiting. But before we act on this, you should know that when we are finally bound together, it's likely that this blood thing is going to be painful, for both of us."

Ginny leaned forward and kissed Harry on the forehead. "Thank you Harry. I'm sorta overwhelmed here, I'm going to need awhile to think about becoming a vampire. Thank you for not pushing. I know this must have been hard for you to tell me."

Harry smiled, "You have no idea."

Ginny wrapped her arms around Harry and pulled him close, feeling her skin ignite as she did so. A part of her was ready for that reaction to abate, the other secretly wished that it would last forever. It was painful yes, but it was worth it just to be this close. Harry reveled in her touch as much as she did him, through their connection they could feel each others wanton desire. After years of being forced apart they were free to be with each other. Despite the obstacles that blocked them, they were more free than they had ever been.

Without warning, Ginny pushed back from Harry and sprung to her knees. The moonlight was rushing in through her window, casting a blue haze across her face. Her body seemed to tremble as she reached for the bottom of her nightgown and pulled it up over her head. Harry's breath caught in his chest as he eyed her for the first time without any clothes. She was perfect in every way, from her cascading hair, to her tight skin and milky thighs. Harry leaned up and put his hands on her hips, pulling her towards him. She jumped slightly at the burning his fingers provided.

Ginny smoothly slid her self over him, wrapping her legs around his back so they were sitting up-right, gazing into each others eyes. Ginny clawed at the offensive clothing that blocked Harry's chiseled chest from her view. Harry felt his body shake as she tore off his shirt then pushed her hands down his hips, into his jeans causing Harry's arousal to heighten. With fierce desire, Ginny pushed Harry down onto the bed so she could pull his pants away, leaving Harry exposed in the cool night air that enveloped the room.

I want you Harry.

Harry was startled by the sudden use of their private connection, but the feeling and sound of her voice in his head was enough to drive him wild. Once again Ginny slid her way over Harry's body, kissing his many tender spots until she reached his tongue. Harry could hear her every wants and desires. She silently told him where she wanted to be kissed and touched and he returned the favor with pleasure. Their desire for each other was more than they could bear, they needed the release of emotions of two people who belonged with each other. The pure love that touched every fiber of their being.

Harry pushed Ginny onto her back and she opened herself for him, waiting with baited breath the experience she had longed for, for so long. Harry positioned himself over her, looked into her eyes and thrust himself inside her. He watched her face as she winced in pain, her body stretching to allow him to fit in her. The pain abated quickly and she pleaded with Harry to go slow.

As he pushed himself inside her, it was everything she could do to keep her voice down, from screaming his name a thousand times over. Harry buried himself deep inside as he nuzzled his face in her neck, feeling his fangs fall from his gums as if his body was telling him what he must do. Harry was on the verge of losing control when he looked up into Ginny's eyes. She gasped at the site of his face, he no longer looked human, but a monster ready to attack his prey. Clear fear, etched on every inch of her face and skin.

Without moving his lips he said, You said it was okay, I need to take your blood before it's over.

Through ragged breathing, she willed herself to hold on as she said, "I can't Harry, I'm sorry...I just can't"

With one last push he went over the edge and pulled out before Ginny was given the chance to finish. Harry rolled onto his side, breathing heavily as he relaxed his face and felt his fangs return to hiding. He stood up from the bed, listening to Ginny sobbing behind him. He found his jeans on the floor, quickly pulled them on and turned around. Ginny was facing the other direction, not looking at him. Harry tried to bring himself to say something to her but instead he found his shirt and shoes then left the room, closing the door quietly as he walked out into the hallway.

Knowing that he still had a few hours of darkness left, and not wishing to go back to Lupin's just yet, Harry found himself appariting on the edge of Hogsmead so he could walk for a bit. One thought was pulsing through his brain, she found me repulsive. The look on Ginny's face when Harry leaned down to take her blood was beyond fear, it was disgust. Disgust for the thing he had become, disgust for the idea of letting him drink her blood, disgust for Harry. How could I have been so foolish to think that she would let me do that to her.

Harry found himself sinking deeper and deeper into anger and darkness, and he didn't know why. He should have stayed and comforted her, told her everything was going to be fine but he couldn't. Something inside him was telling him to leave, she didn't want him. Anger, jealously, resentment...so many emotions poured trough him he didn't know which one to deal with first. Ginny, the only person worth living for, just tore his world down with one horrific look.

Harry looked up and realized he was only moments from Lupin's house when he heard another set of footsteps behind him. He reached for his pocket to grab his wand but was horrified when he realized it was gone, hopefully resting on Ginny's floor. He knew Dumbledore's wand was resting in his bedroom, he was unarmed. He turned around to face his peruser and caught a fleeting glimpse of cold, cruel black eyes and greasy red hair before searing pain tore at his mind, the world went black as Harry slumped to the ground.