Disclaimer: I don't own HP. J. K. Rowling does.

Read, enjoy, and review please. Warning: Slash

Italics: thought or writing or noise

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Chapter 4: Why and How?

Harry sighed and lay back down on the hospital bed. He stared at the ceiling, allowing his mind to drift back to the dark figure he'd seen rushing out of the hospital wing that morning. Draco... The thought that he'd cared to pay a silent visit gave him the blissful butterflies. A negative voice in his head wondered aloud if this was another of Draco's schemes to make him miserable, especially now that he knew Harry loved him. But the other voices insisted Draco would never do that, even though that wasn't true and he knew it. He loved Draco, and no matter what he knew about Draco's crude nature, he convinced himself that Draco had a good side deep, DEEP down.

Harry smiled to himself as the familiar image of Draco's smile drifted into his mind and stayed.

There was still a throbbing pain in his forehead, and Madam Pomfrey hadn't known what to do. She had called the headmaster to the hospital wing for his opinion.

Within the hour, Albus Dumbledore had stepped quietly into the hospital wing, blue eyes shining behind half-moon spectacles. He smiled his gentle smile behind the long white beard as he approached the dozing Harry.

"Harry," he said gently. Harry jumped a little and sat up quickly.

"Professor Dumbledore! I'm sorry, sir, I didn't hear you come in!" he exclaimed hurriedly. Dumbledore sat down.

"Harry, relax. It's quite alright," he replied softly. Harry smiled. "Madam Pomfrey tells me Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley brought you to the hospital wing yesterday morning because you had passed out. Miss Granger says you were holding the scar on your forehead, and Madam Pomfrey has nothing to help a curse scar. She asked for my help, but you first must tell me what you think caused it."

Harry sighed. "I...had a dream about Voldemort. I think that might bethe reason..."

Dumbledore looked at him thoughtfully. "Will you please describe the dream to me?"

Harry nodded. "I was running towards..." Harry hesitated, "The one I love... I wasn't getting any closer for a while, but then I finally did. I got closer and closer, and...that person started laughing at me. I kissed...them, but...they pushed me away and Lord Voldemort was there instead, laughing. I don't know what he said..." He looked up at Dumbledore. "But I think he knows my greatest weakness."

Dumbledore looked into Harry's eyes for a long moment before he replied, "I think you're right, Harry."

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Harry stretched, finally allowed out of the hospital wing later that night. Hermione and Ron came to meet him and take him back. He was still in his hospital robes.

"Now that you're outta there, what happened, mate?" Ron asked, looking at Harry as they climbed the marble staircase to the seventh floor.

"Wow, Potter, you look cute in a dress," came a drawling voice from the base of the staircase to the astronomy tower. Harry's heart pumped faster. He couldn't help butlook up to see the marvelous beauty of the Slytherin he loved as the moonlight shined on his fair pale skin, silvery blonde hair, and stormy eyes. He didn't realize he'd stopped breathing. Malfoy waited for Harry's reaction, his smirk fading.

Harry hesitated. Should he be open about his love, since everybody knows? Or should he put on his usual mask and pretend to hate Draco still?

While Harry was lost in thought, Draco had approached. "I don't like being ignored, Potter," he muttered. Harry came back to himself with a smile. Draco stared. "Don't smile at me, Potter! It's insulting!"

Harry chuckled. "Your insults aren't going to get to me, Draco." Draco looked surprised at being called by his first name. "I love you too much for that."

With that, he walked towards the entrance to Griffindor Tower, Ron and Hermione at his sides, leaving a wide-eyed gaping Draco behind.

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The next day, Harry went into the Great Hall for breakfast and, for the first time since his confession was aired, not everyone wasn't staring at him. A few Slytherins snickered from their table, but that was nothing new.

He sat down between Ron and Hermione, as usual, at the Griffindor table and ate quietly.

However, on the way to Herbology, they heard Draco Malfoy's drawling voice across the Entrance Hall.

"Hey! Potter!" he exclaimed, Crabbe and Goyle a step behind him as he approached. Harry smiled gently at him, his eyes loving. Harry couldn't see it, and Draco would never admit it, but that look in those emerald green eyes made Draco shiver.

"Yes, Draco?" Harry answered, unknowingly calling Draco from his absent-minded stare into his eyes.

"Er...Oh, I still have your journal," he said with a smirk. He pulled it out of his pocket and held it up, standing within arms reach from Harry. Harry's smile didn't falter, nor the look in his eyes.

"I know. I've missed it," he replied simply. Draco seemed to be getting annoyed, but he wasn't. He was getting more desperate; he was running out of things to torture Harry with.

"Have you?" he asked, sneering. Harry nodded. "I've been thinking, Potter... Whether or not I should read this aloud during your next Quidditch match?" He snickered at his brilliant idea.

"Go ahead."

Draco Malfoy looked up at Harry Potter, eyes wide. "...What?"

"I said go ahead," he replied, the same smile pasted to his lips and the same look in his eyes. "I love you, Draco. And I don't care who knows it." Draco stared, his mouth very slightly open. Harry licked his lips gently as he stared back, his eyes darting to his mouth once. Draco turned away, hiding his face. Harry looked confused. Unknown to anyone, Draco Malfoy was actually blushing.

Harry shrugged after a moment. "Alright, see you in potions, Draco," he said, heading with to Herbology with a staring Hermione and Ron.

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Snape had paired Draco and Harry again. Draco wasn't helping, of course, but Harry didn't mind. When he wasn't busy with the Swelling Solution, he was staring at Draco of course. Draco had gotten used to it, and, to even Harry's surprise, simply smirked when he felt Harry's stare again. Harry smiled at that smirk, catching the slightest hint of a smile each time. What gave Harry butterflies was that that slight hint grew every time he caught it.

Class ended despite Harry's silent protests. He returned a sample of the potion and all the ingredients in to Snape. Draco was gone when he returned to grab his bag and robe he'd taken off to work on the potion and swung on the back of the chair. He slipped it back on and swung his shoulder bag over his head and one shoulder. He smiled, meeting Ron and Hermione at the door and heading to charms class.

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Harry performed his spells perfectly in Defense Against the Dark Arts, but Draco didn't. And, for some reason, he kept shooting Harry glances.

"Harry," the professor whispered in Harry's ear, startling him from his gaze at Draco.

"Yes, professor?" he asked, flustered.

"Could you help Mr. Malfoy? He's having difficulty," he replied with a small smile. Harry nodded slowly.

Harry approached slowly and moved behind Draco, having already memorized what he was doing wrong. "Draco, it's Nicarnia!" The jar smashed at the perfect spell and wave Harry gave. Draco scowled and tried again. Failed. Again. Failed. Again.

"Damnit, I can't do it!" he exclaimed as he failed again. Harry stood a step behind him and took his hand over his wand.

"Yes, you can! Do it again," Harry replied. He didn't notice, but Draco was blushing at their hands' contact.

"Nicarnia!" he exclaimed again, allowing Harry to guide his wrist. The jar busted finally. Draco looked at Harry excitedly, a bright smile lighting his face. Harry blushed a little, capturing that as a picture in his mind just before Draco recovered and returned his face to it's normal egotistical self. "See? Told you I could do it," he said, dropping hisarm to his sideand Harry's hand. Their faces were less than three inches apart.

The bell rang and Harry backed away, smiling. He nodded with a light chuckle. "Whatever you say, Draco," he laughed gently. He looked up a last time before Draco left and caught a glimpse of a smile before he turned the corner.

Harry left class with a smile.

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Harry was cold. It was late September in England; it was cold at the top of the astronomy tower. He hugged himself, having finished his starchart. He looked at his watch, eager for class to end. He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

Crinkle.

Hary blinked and took a neatly folded piece of parchment out of his pocket. The hurried scrawl of his name wasn't familiar... He opened it and looked at the name at the bottom. His heart pumped faster. Draco... He began to read:

Potter,

Why and how do you love me? Write back.

Draco

Short, but sweet. Harry pressed it to his chest lovingly, smiling widely. He checked his watch again. Now he couldn't wait to get to the common room to write back.

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Dear Draco,

Harry began, then found himself drawing a blank. He thought for a moment about just what to say. Okay, a few minutes. A few hours. Eventually, after at least thirty paper balls are thrown in the trash, he becomes satisfied and reads it again to himself:

Dear Draco,

How? Honestly? Well, it started that night we were in the Forbidden Forest together with Fang, looking for the unicorn who's blood was scattered throughout the forest. Before that, you seemed like someone with no humanity whatsoever, one who lived to torture. But that night...the fear in your eyes brought me to the conclusion that you were truly human.

Over time, I found myself watching you when I had the chance. Like when you cheated on the Defense Against the Dark Arts final exam in our third year. I saw that. And when you stole a sample of Hermione's Poison Antidote in potoins because you knew hers was done right. I watched you a lot more than even I noticed. Unknowingly, I'd memorized your schedule every year.

I found myself dreaming about you. Eventually, every night. And soon after that, fantasies.

I couldn't understand it. You were cruel to me. You'd never shown anything but hate to me. You were a Slytherin. Your father was a Death Eater. You planned on following in your father's footsteps. Why did I have these feelings? Why were you the only thing on my mind? Why was a jealous of Pansy Parkinson at the Yule Ball?

I knew I loved you at the end of the fourth year. When I knew I was going to die. When You-Know-Who raised his wand to cast the Unforgivable, my last thought was, "I hope I live...to see Draco one last time..."

That's when I knew I loved you. Since then, it's been harder and harder to keep that secret from everyone. I just now told Ron and Hermione. It was a secret for so long... And you were the hardest person to keep it from.

Why? Well, I still haven't quite figured that one out myself. By reading my journal, you can probably draw conclusions as to why I love you, but, like me, you won't be able to put it into words.

I do know one thing though. I not only love you for who you are, but who I am when I'm with you.

Love,

Harry Potter

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Hope you enjoyed! I'll be gone for another week, maybe two, so don't expect an update. Please review!

Next Chapter: Get Draco's point of view and feelings as/after he reads the note! Then, switching back to Harry, why is Harry's scar hurting? Is Voldemort near? Find out when I get back!