Usagi's follies! The man who looked like a woman!

"Man… man… man…" Usaka moaned, lagging down the street with a test paper in his hand with oodles of red marks on it as if it had gone into a serious battle with no weapon or experience whatsoever (That was how Usaka was feeling anyways). "Man…" He said again.

You know, I never did all that well in school either, Usagi said innocently.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT STUFF DOESN'T SINK IN!" Usaka sobbed, tears slipping down his cheeks in miniature waterfalls. "I need a tutor… a woman tutor… a pretty one… with… long, curvy legs… and great big-

I don't think that would help you pay attention to your studies, you know, Usagi said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah… but a guy can dream, right?" He said, smiling and laughing.

Yes, they can, but you might want to dream a little quieter, 'cause people are looking at you, Usagi replied.

Usaka felt just then as if a ton of bricks had fallen from somewhere in the sky and landed right on his head one by one by one. He blushed in humiliation and began bolting down the street back towards his apartment.

Told you so… Usagi said in a sing-song voice.

"Well, on the plus side of the day, at least I got out of cram school while it's still daytime." He said, slamming his book-bag down upon his bed. "What do you say we go snag some lunch, eh?"

Sounds like a plan! Usagi cheered. -cause if I'm correct, you haven't eaten a thing in at least the past two days!

Usaka wrapped his arms around his small stomach. "Yeah… really…"

So, how are your wounds healing up?

"They're healing really fast. The wound on my back only hurts if I apply a lot of pressure to it. Hopefully, no one decides to push me down today…" He said, pushing up the sleeves of his shirt to check his arm abrasions. "My arms are mending nicely too. You can barely tell I was even hurt, but then again, I suppose the wounds weren't all that deep to begin with."

I'm glad you're okay.

"Me too," He responded, pushing his sleeves back down. His stomach then interrupted the silence with a large growl. "FOOD!" He exclaimed, rushing out the door at lightning speed.

BANZAI! Usagi celebrated as the door slammed behind him.

"Now I remember why I haven't eaten in two days…" Usaka muttered, his forehead placed firmly against the glass of a restaurant window. "I don't have any money to my name!" The little waterfalls were flowing again.

Why don't you get a job? Usagi suggested.

"I don't have time for a job. In all my free time I need to study… My grades are bad enough as it is… Though it's really not my fault that stuff doesn't sink in… Ohh, I'm HUNGRY…!"

-but, Usaka-kun, you'll die if you don't have money for food! Usagi cried.

"Yeah, tell me about it…" He muttered, watching all of the happy diners inside, enjoying their meals.

"Excuse me… but who are you talking to?" A woman's voice asked.

"Please, don't bother me now, Miss Lady, because I am basking in the delirium that I am currently experiencing in which that food comes through this very window crying, 'Eat me, Usaka, eat me!', and I'm all, 'okay!', and I start munching on it, and all is good, and I am happy…." He muttered, sliding down the pane of glass.

WHEN DID YOU LOSE YOUR MIND! Usagi cried, horror-struck.

"Um… are you okay…?" The woman asked, sounding slightly disturbed.

"Oh, yeah… I'm just great… Fine… dandy… I'm STARVING to DEATH…" He said, sliding a little farther down.

"Don't you have any money?" The woman asked.

"I'm just a stupid ronin who can't even get into college! I'm stuck in cram school all the time! Where am I going to find the time to work and get money when I'm at home studying all the time for a test I'm never going to pass?" He sobbed, the waterfalls running free-flow now.

GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! Usagi yelled.

"Oh… well…" Suddenly, a hand was extended towards him, and his eyes rolled to meet it, glancing at the bills grasped within it. "Here. Take this. It's not much, but I can't just leave you like that."

"Oh, my God! THANK YOU!" He cried, snatching the bills and kissing them. "Thank you… uh…." He looked down at her feet.

Pastel green shoes… long, curvy, slender legs… a mini hoop skirt that matched the shoes… a white, button-up blouse… a white jacket… a perfect neck with a small, gold chain glinting upon it… soft, pink-painted lips… small, oval glasses… large, blue eyes with long eye lashes… shoulder-length, blue hair pushed back behind her ears…

"My God, you're beautiful!" He exclaimed, then regretted saying it.

Oh, yeah, Usaka, smooth going… That's exactly what you should say to a complete stranger who's at least fifteen years older than you! Usagi raved. She was obviously still angry about the stunt he had pulled moments ago.

"Thank you," She responded simply. "You might want to find some way to get some money though. This won't last you but a few days, and there aren't many people as giving as I am out there… Good luck with your studies! Sayonara!" -and she was gone.

"It's too bad. I didn't catch her name… Oh, well! LUNCH IS ON ME!" He cheered.

Yeah, it will be if you keep daydreaming like that! You're about to run into a---

BAM!

…wall… Usagi sighed.

"Owwww…." Usaka moaned, rubbing his forehead.

Usaka had decided to go for one of his favorites, the American cheeseburger. Of course, the best place to get that was at Game Crown, which had added a fast-food section a few years ago.

Sitting at a white table with red booths on each side, he waited rather impatiently for his order. His eyes traveled to all of the other teenagers sitting at other tables and eating, longing for their food.

"Here you are, sir!" A young waitress said, setting down his plate in front of him.

"THANK YOU!" He cried, nodding at her. "Er-" He checked her nametag. "Momo!"

The brown-haired waitress nodded at him, her purple eyes twinkling. "Enjoy!" She said, then hurried off to another table.

"YAY!" Usaka cried, taking a large bite out of it.

Hmm… Usagi murmured.

"What's up, Usagi?" He asked quietly, swallowing.

I sense something…Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I feel that something is wrong here…Usagi muttered worriedly.

"Really?" He said, swallowing another bite of food and taking another one. "In here?… Now?…"

Either here or near here…All I know is that there is a bad feeling in the atmosphere…

"I don't feel anything," He said, chewing on a few more bites of food.

Well, when I was alive, I had a psychic friend, Rei, and she taught me how to sense things a year before we were attacked…

"Oh, yeah, you told me about that…" He murmured, taking a sip from his soda. "So… what exactly are these guys after?"

Crystals, and not just mine. I figure we'll find out more once we find the senshi, Usagi said seriously.

Usaka sat in silence for a long time, finishing his meal and thinking. "Hey… Who all has these crystals…?" He whispered.

I'm not sure… probably everyone…Usagi said. Either that or pure people. Most of the time it's about purity.

"Well, that counts me out," He said, smiling half-heartedly.

Don't be silly! Usagi said. You're pure!

"Maybe I shouldn't be… I don't want to be attacked…" He said, running his hand through his hair. "Oh, well…" He picked up his tray and set it on top of the trash can. "I think I'll play a little while."

-but you only have a little bit of money, Usagi said. You should probably save it.

"Probably…" He said disappointedly, his shoulders slumping as he stood in front of the Sailor V arcade game.

"Are you playing?"

"Huh?" He looked up. The waitress from before was standing next to him, watching him eagerly. "Oh, sure!" He stepped back, smiling at her. "Sorry for blocking your way, Momo."

"It's all right," She said, nodding in his direction.

He turned to head off back to his apartment. "I guess I should study some more for the big exam…even though it won't make any difference…" He sighed.

Suddenly, a bright light flashed off and on behind him, and a scream echoed through the air.

"Huh?" He turned around.

A shadow had erupted from the Sailor V arcade system and formed into the shape of a woman. Momo screamed, falling out of her seat.

"OH, NO!" Usaka cried.

It's one of them! Usagi exclaimed.

The enemy finished her transformation, looking like a dark-version of Sailor V. Her long, orange hair flowed down her back, and the black bow tied it up. Her mask was black as well, just as her skirt and bandana. Her bow, shoes, and gloves were completely red. "Dark Senshi!" She cried.

Momo screamed again.

Dark Senshi did a movement that Sailor V did in the game, then pointed at Momo's forehead.

She cried out as a black mark appeared in the spot to which she was aiming at. Then, bursting from that spot came a sparkling crystal of all different colors. The life within her eyes vanished, and she collapsed to the ground.

"MOMO!" Usaka cried. He looked around, and, noticing that everyone had either fainted out of fear or run out screaming, he decided to bring out Sailor Moon once again.

Let's do it! Usagi yelled.

"Right!" Usaka cried. "Moon Eternal, Make-up!"

He felt himself slipping away from his body and into his mind, and a spirit was passing him to take control of the body.

Dark Senshi turned in his direction. "DARK SENSHI!" She yelled angrily. Suddenly, a red-orange blast erupted from her finger, and hit the transforming Sailor Moon in the chest.

Usaka felt himself lurch forward again, and, before he could balance himself, fall flat on his face. "Ow…" He muttered.

"Dark Senshi…" The monster said furiously, bearing her fanged teeth.

"Damn, lady," He said, rolling on his back and pushing himself up with his arms. "Wait a minute…" There was something strange going on. That… That wasn't his voice… was it? "What's wrong with my voice!" He cried in a high-pitched, girlish shriek.

Dark Senshi didn't waste any time taking Momo's crystal while he was contemplating his problem.

He lifted his hands to his face. "White gloves…?" He questioned, horrified. His eyes widened as a realization started to wash over him. "Oh, no, no…" He said, reaching up and feeling the top of his head. "Odango…!" He cried, running his fingers down through his now long, silky hair. He then pushed his hands against his chest. "Something's there that wasn't before!" He squeaked, grimacing at the sight of the skirt. Slowly, hesitantly, he slipped his hand down underneath the skirt. "-and down here something's missing!" He then screeched out, mortified. "I… I'm Sailor Moon!"

Dark Senshi held the crystal in her hands, licking her lips. "This crystal is Dark Senshi's… Dark Senshi will devour this beautiful mind… Yes…"

I've got to do something, Usaka told himself, standing up. -but how can I do it looking like THIS! I'm no woman… or at least… I wasn't… Dear Lord, what's going on!

He shook his head to send his dangling hair behind his wings and sighed dejectedly. "Hey, you! Er- STOP RIGHT THERE!"

"Hum?" Dark Senshi glanced up at the bishonen gone bishoujo senshi.

"Um… give that crystal back to Momo! Er-please… or I'll um… I'll make you regret it!… I guess…" He said nervously. He could feel his now perfectly curved, milky-colored knees shaking.

Dark Senshi just stared at him.

"I… er… I mean it!"

Dark Senshi chuckled slightly. "Kill…" She said.

"Er… no, that's not necessary… I mean, um… that is… uh… just give Momo back her crystal…." Usaka said, backing up against the wall.

"This crystal belongs to Dark Senshi…"

"Why do you guys talk in the third pers-AAHH!" He screamed as a gold light rammed towards his feet. He screamed out like a girl-for despite his mentality he was one now- and headed towards the door. "HELP, HELP! SAVE ME! USAGI? WHERE ARE YOU!"

There was no voice in his mind.

"Oh, my God…" He said, his eyes widening. "She's…gone?… Is she… No, no… can't think like that…" He burst through the door and out into the street. "What do I do? What do I do?… Oh, what did Usagi do last time?"

"Dark Senshi!"

He screamed again, turning around. "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"

Dark Senshi headed towards him.

He shut his eyes tight and screamed as loud as he could out of fear, and the red orbs on the odango glowed.

The monster was suddenly screeching in pain, holding her ears as she tried to block out the intensified noise.

"AHHH--uh?" He stopped, staring at the wailing monster. "She… stopped… Okay… Here's my chance… Think, Usaka, think!…"

He shut his eyes tight, trying to remember what Usagi had done.

"Come on… come on… I need to stop this monster…" He felt his hand warm for a moment. "Hm?" He opened his eyes and lifted up the sparkling object in his hand. "Some sort of wand?… a tier maybe?…"

Dark Senshi had quit screaming.

"Oh, no, she's recovering!" He cried fearfully. "Come on, think faster, you stupid moron!… Oh, great, I'm thinking out loud again… AH!"

The thought suddenly hit him.

"Starlight… Honey Moon… Therapy Kiss!" Usagi had said.

"Then, that must be what this is for!" He cried, holding out her tier. "All right then, come and get me, Dark Senshi!"

She roared and came bolting at him.

"Starlight… Honey Moon… Therapy Kiss!" He cried, and it emitted large amounts of pink and white light that seemed to burst into feathers and consume the monster.

When it all cleared, the monster became a shadow on the wall and disappeared.

"I… I did it… I beat the monster… WOO!" He jumped up and down, arms in the air, celebrating. "Ah-ha-HA! I'm the greatest! Ah-um?" He stopped as something appeared in the place where the monster had been. "Momo's crystal!" He exclaimed, taking it in his hand tenderly.

Back inside the Game Crown, he knelt down next to the unconscious Momo and placed the crystal back inside her forehead. "Momo… Are you all right now?"

She opened her eyes and looked up at him. "You… You saved me… Who are you?…"

"I'm U---" He froze, recalling Usagi's story. "I'm Sailor Moon. I'm a superhero----ine…" He said, smiling sheepishly.

"Arigatou…" She said, smiling back.

"Sorry about the mess…"

"It's okay…" She said, standing. "I owe you everything!"

"No… really… it was nothing… heh… well… Take care…" He turned and headed towards the door.

"Goodbye… and… may good luck shine upon you, Sailor Moon!" She yelled, waving. He nodded over his shoulder at her.

"You too!" and exited the arcade. "Now… Do these wings work?" He flapped them. "All right!" He cried, then flew off into the sky.