Chapter 9: A Change is in the Air

Spike and Xander were sat at their usual table at the Bronze. Cordelia had insisted on a ride, but Spike had to give her credit she hadn't bothered them since they arrived. The club was rather quiet and the band playing clearly didn't know which way up the guitar should go. The singer's nauseating tones were enough to drive anyone to the bottle, and clearly had. The bar was lined with middle aged men in tight jeans and florescent t-shirts, trying and failing to reclaim their youth. The pool table was occupied by two wannabe bad boys, who hadn't quite figured out that they had opposable thumbs, otherwise Spike would have been cheering himself up by beating Harris' ass.

Instead, they were sat attempting to make small talk, each missing the company of the girls. Even before Buffy had moved to town, the boys had never been left to their own devises, they'd always had a Willow. Tonight however, they were Willow-less. Xander had initiated a conversation with a sarcastic comment about missing the memo on the 80's dress code, which earned a mere smirk from Spike. He'd proceeded to then earn himself an eye roll when he suggested going elsewhere. It was this or the espresso pump and the espresso pump just wasn't going to cut it tonight.

Two half empty bottles of soda and a depleting bowl of hot and spicy chicken wings lay between them. Spike took a long swig of his drink, causing Xander to think there was something other than soda in it.

"I'm so tired of all this drama mate," Spike moaned to his friend, "Bloody Dru is driving me mental… I won't take her back, not this time!"

"She didn't melt then?" Xander muttered under his breath before falling silent when he noticed Spike's demeanour. Xander was like a rabbit caught in the headlights. He wasn't quite sure what to do, normally it was Buffy who had to deal, but Buffy wasn't here and Spike seemed to be on a roll. He was nursing his bottle and avoiding eye contact, but he was talking and for Spike that was definitely progress.

"…am I just the type of guy that attracts nut cases?" He questioned before looking across at Xander and threatening him with an index finger, "don't answer that," he took another swig from his bottle, draining it completely before absentmindedly doing the same with Xander's. Xander was about to protest when Spike continued, "just for once I'd like to meet a normal girl, someone I can be myself with, someone that gets on with my friends, someone who can handle my tempers cause lord knows I can't, I just want someone who knows me, who gets me…I know I'm asking for the impossible…" Spike suddenly stopped and stared at his friend, "What? What's so bloody funny Harris?" he demanded.

Xander couldn't help it, he was grinning like the Cheshire cat. The more Spike spoke the more obvious it became and he couldn't not comment, "Dude, you just described Buffy."

Spike almost chocked on his chicken wing at the absurd statement, "Buffy!" he repeated.

"Buffy," Xander confirmed, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms satisfactorily.

Spike was incredulous, "you're off your rocker, you are, she's my best friend, not to mention the battiest of the lot; climbing trees she knows she'll get stuck in, singing' into her soddin' hairbrush, dancing around with no music on, almost falling out the window to get a phone signal; giving me a bloody heart attack every time. Not to mention she keeps hiding my fags, bossy chit's watching me like a hawk. She's a lunatic, she's insufferable, she's erratic and… she's….she's…"

"Awesome," Xander finished, with a mouth full of hot wing.

"Awesome," Spike agreed letting out a laugh, "and I wouldn't change her for the world. Xander she's my best friend, but that's as far as it goes." Xander nodded understandingly.

"Please, wake up and smell the raging hormones," said Cordelia as she appeared out of nowhere, wearing a pale blue Dolce and Gabbana dress. She sighed, draping her arms over Xander's broad shoulders and trapping his head in her boobs.

"Get off me," Xander said offended, "I don't know where you've been," he argued but made no attempt to move. Had this happened to anyone else, they'd have been thinking what all teenage boys would in this situation. Xander however, was transfixed by the fact her cleavage was real and that he owed Willow five dollars.

"What the hell are you talking about, you dimwit?" Spike asked rolling his eyes at her undeniable talent for arriving at the most inconvenient times. Why couldn't she be off flirting or dancing with the dumb football jocks? Why did she have to be here, bothering them?

"You, have so got it bad for Buffy," Cordelia stated bluntly as she leaned further forward reaching for the last chicken wing. She felt a light tap as Spike swatted her hand away and glared at her. "I have not," he said. He could feel his temper rising and did his best to keep from storming off. He soothed himself with a mental image of Cordelia being stuffed into a box and shipped off to her mother's hotel.

"Tell him Harris," Cordelia commanded as she twisted around his right shoulder so she could look him in the eyes. Xander's gaze was firmly fixed on the girl. Both girls in fact. Cordelia stood back and raised his chin with her finger so he was looking at her face, "I'm up here Sherlock!" she chided, "Now, be a good boy and tell the bleached bonehead that he has the hots for Buffy," she finished fixing him with a firm stare.

"I have not!" Spike repeated indignantly.

"Have too," Cordelia insisted as she turned to look at him, her index finger still supporting Xander's head. Xander's eyes were like homing pigeons and dropped straight back to rest where they were happiest.

"Have not!" Spike shouted standing up to meet his cousins glare.

"Have too," she smirked back.

"Have not!"

"Have too!"

This continued for some time, with Spike getting more and more irate. His calming image had now changed to just dropping the box into the sea and letting her float off to bother someone else. Cordelia, however remained completely calm. Her tone never wavering. She knew the more he denied it, the truer it was. Xander thought he better intervene before the table went flying.

"Children please," he yelled standing up and waving a hand to each of them, silencing them both, I think Spike knows breast," he said calmly, although as realisation dawned on him, his eyes went as wide as saucers and he hurried to correct himself, "best! Best! Spike knows best."

"Whatever!" Cordelia huffed as she spun on her stiletto heal and flounced of to the bar, leaving Xander to deal with an active volcano. Spike practically had steam coming out of his ears and was as red faced as a blacksmith. He gestured towards the retreating form of Cordelia and stared at Xander, "She's barmy!" Spike growled as he took another swig of a drink and slumped back down in his chair. Xander slowly followed suit, attempting to work out where the drinks had appeared from, he decided Cordelia must have put them there.

For a few moments the two boys sat, just gulping at their drinks. Then the silence was broken by Spike's declaration, "I have not got it bad for Buffy!"

"Of course you don't," Xander comforted insincerely.