Harry walks into the small library room and pauses, leaning against the door frame. "What do you do when I'm not here?" Harry asks pointedly. "Because I've heard things and we need to talk."

Death sits on a shelf between large tomes, looking like a possessed Harry doll.

Harry hesitates. "Death?"

The doll sits there, looking at him with blank, hollow eyes.

"Uh…are you not…?" Harry slowly starts backing away. "Alright, sure. Good talk."

Harry leaves the room and the doll rolls its eyes. Too easy.

Harry has a kitten tucked into his front shirt pocket, a tiny black thing that mewls quietly.

The Unspeakable raises an eyebrow as Harry sets out a tray of biscuits and settles into the chair opposite. The two children dart by, grabbing a cookie each and then vanish with a flicker before reappearing on the other side of the yard.

Not apparition, not a portkey. Bending space itself.

The Unspeakable makes a note to ask the boys later, maybe even talk to the shadow creature itself for a proper explanation, but currently turns back to where Harry waits - staring at the Unspeakable with a smug smirk on his face.

The Unspeakable gives off the impression that they're rolling their eyes. "So what is this one called?" They gesture at the cat.

"Schrödinger," Harry says proudly.

The Unspeakable hums, picking up a cookie. "Why is that?"

"Because it's both alive and…" Harry trails off.

"And?"

"Nothing," Harry states. "It's just. A nice name." He crosses his arms, trying to hide the kitten. "I'm real sick of you judging me."

"You make it too easy," the Unspeakable drawls, tucking the cookie under their hood and biting off a piece.

"Whatever," Harry huffs. "How's work going?"

"Good."

Harry tilts his head. "Just good?"

The Unspeakable removes the recording spell on the cookie plate and Tom looks over. "Not bad, boy! Layer something like a simple colour charm over next time, that muffles the signature."

Tom nods seriously and goes back to discussing something with Gellert.

"Why are you encouraging them?" Harry asks.

"Yeah, you seem to be doing just fine with that on your own." The Unspeakable relaxes back into the chair. "So Dave is dead."

Harry tilts his head. "Who?"

"The chair."

"Oh," Harry says in surprise. "I'm sorry for your loss, but wow he lasted quite a while in that form."

"Actually, we turned him back into a human successfully after a few days, but he got offed by an angry dragon last week."

"Bad way to go," Harry muses and gets a flashback of flying away from an angry dragon on a broomstick.

"Horrific," the Unspeakable agrees. They pull out a pale grey dragon egg with stark icy blue lines curling around the top.

"Nice seeing you again," Harry abruptly says, standing. "I'll make brownies next time, goodbye."

The Unspeakable lazily rolls the egg around on the table. "I own you, Harry. I own your house, the wards, and if I want to put a dragon here then I will put a dragon here."

"I have too many man-eating things in my house already," Harry complains, slumping back down into his seat. "And what if the boys get curious? Can you imagine Gellert flying a Blue-Eyes White Dragon into battle?"

The Unspeakable pauses. "Well it is white, and it does have blue eyes. Are you particularly familiar with dragons, Harry?"

"It was a reference," Harry admits. "Where am I supposed to put it?"

"In the freezer," the Unspeakable announces. "This type nests in the Arctic, just cover it with some ice."

"And you'll take it back before it hatches?"

"I…will attempt to. It really depends on how the negotiations turn out."

Harry scrubs a hand over his forehead. "Please leave."

"Oh, actually, I'll need you to come in for a few tests today," the Unspeakable tacks on. "Dump the egg in the fridge and get the muzzles for your Dark Lords, we're going to the Ministry."

At the wand check desk, Harry pats his pockets for a while and finds nothing. The witch at the desk stares down at the boys pointedly so Tom and Gellert offer up the holly and elder wands respectively.

It's a bit worrying for a moment because Harry doesn't know what the boys have been doing with his wands, but no one panics when the spell check is done so it's fine.

The Unspeakable leads them to the elevator and they pile on. An Auror starts walking towards the lift as well but the Unspeakable slams the gate shut in the woman's face and the elevator suddenly drops fast enough to make it feel like Harry's stomach is thrown into his chest.

Harry nudges the Unspeakable. "Can you give the boys a quick tour? Just because I think they'll go the research route for their career….because Merlin knows they won't bother with actual politics."

"They already know most of it."

"What?"

"What?" Gellert echoes loudly. "Oh, Tom, you look a bit faint. Harry, you go ahead, we'll catch up after Tom's recovered." Gellert shoves Tom a bit, expecting him to play along.

Tom glares at Gellert. "No."

"I agree," Harry pipes up, opening the gate after the elevator comes to a halt and ushering everyone out. "A firm no. Parental supervision at all times. I've seen what happens when people get stuck in time turner sand, and don't you ever go near the prophecies room."

The Unspeakable tilts their head as they step out of the small box last and into the forked corridor. "Do you have a prophecy? Sorry, what did you say your real name was again; Harry Potter?"

Harry whips around, incredulous. "In front of the kids?! Are you even trying to keep this a secret anymore?"

The Unspeakable scoffs. "I never attempted to in the first place. I mean is there a point? Obviously they know, I gave them your file."

Harry grabs the Unspeakable by the shoulders and gives them a short but violent shake. Tom offers up his knife, which is upgraded to a full-on, razor-sharp dagger, now in a cute little holster under the back of his shirt that Harry bought so Tom wouldn't accidentally hurt himself.

Harry lets go and huffs. "No thank you, Tom. We only stab people who try to stab us first, remember?"

"I could do it for you," Tom says logically but is already holstering the weapon. "That way you can pretend you had no control over the situation and still maintain the moral high-ground to feel good about yourself."

"That is very tempting," Harry admits. "But I will regret it later so put that thing away."

Harry turns to stomp off down the corridor to the right but pauses and looks back to Tom. "Also stop giving me evil ideas."

Harry tries to leave again but another thought occurs to him and he pauses to frown at Tom. "Manipulating minions to do something for you counts as if you did it yourself."

Gellert hums sceptically, putting his hands on his hips. "I would argue otherwise. I mean if I don't get caught manipulating them, did I really do it in the first place?"

Harry crosses his arms. "Well if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it then…" Harry shrugs. "You're grounded. Both of you."

"Oh, Harry," Gellert sighs fondly. "You and your jokes. Enjoy your test, love you, mwah." Gellert steps back into the open elevator and it shoots sideways to another level.

Tom nods to Harry and the Unspeakable before wandering off down the left corridor.

Harry just stares after the boy. "Hello, Tom? At least Gellert took the time to pretend that I could have stopped him."

"I'm not so frivolous," Tom calls back over his shoulder. "I'll find you when you're done."

The Unspeakable makes an awed noise. "Wow, incredible parenting." They also applaud to really drive the point home.

Harry sighs and drags a hand down his face. "The kids aren't even ten years old, what am I going to do when they're teenagers?"

"Point them at a country and watch them raze it to the ground?"

Harry frowns. "I like to think they're not so wasteful."