Harry is sitting in a rather comfortable chair, idly watching as the small team of time-space specialists calibrate the recording devices and get things set up for this session.

The first time Harry came here, he was strapped to a chair with some terrifyingly sharp objects hovering over him. None of it did anything, the Unspeakable just wanted to mess with Harry.

The sessions usually end up being Harry doing different magic tricks while he's being scanned by various things. They're comparing Harry to baseline wizard readings and trying to determine if anything has actually changed because of his short dimensional trip.

They scanned Harry's faded scar once and then spent the next four hours scanning it repeatedly with increasingly more powerful spells.

An Unspeakable pokes their head through the door, perhaps with a smile under the blurring spell on their face. "Hey, Number Three! Construction team is having a fit over one of your Dark Lord brats."

Harry drags a hand down his face. For a secret research organisation called 'Unspeakable', none of these assholes know how to keep their mouths shut.

Harry's Unspeakable looks up from tinkering with a floating blob that they usually give Harry to hold. "Which one?"

"Uh, like kind of evil?"

"Yeah but which evil one?" Harry's Unspeakable asks again.

"Super smart? Very capitalist?"

"No, but they're both like that, so which one are you-"

Harry throws his hands in the air. "For Merlin's sake – look, is the boy blond or does he have dark hair?"

The visiting Unspeakable makes a sound of realisation. "It's the blond one. Yeah, no, we lost the other brat somewhere."

"That's fine," Harry sighs. "Tom is probably just trying to find the magical version of a nuclear bomb."

"What's a nuclear-?"

"Anyway," Harry's Unspeakable cuts in. "One Twenty-Six, I don't actually care how annoyed Construction is, just tell them to deal with it themselves."

"They're not upset," Unspeakable Number One Twenty-Six dismisses. "They want to keep him, they're just letting you know he's now signed on as a consultant."

"Yeah, whatever, get the paperwork to me."

One Twenty-Six ducks back out and Harry props his elbow on the chair arm, chin in hand. Harry used to think it was great that no one is overly 'upset' about the boys but there is such a thing as being too accepting.

Now, Harry is perfectly aware that he's also part of the problem but he's allowed to be because he's the person dumb enough to raise the boys in the first place. The Unspeakables, however, are older and more mature and far wiser that Harry so they should at least be taking precautions.

Except everyone absolutely loves the two boys for their intelligence and magical power and oddities. Which Harry is really appreciative of and definitely encourages because this academic atmosphere is good for Tom and Gellert, they fit in so well.

Except, the two boys are using the Unspeakables to further their own foray into dangerous, illegal magic - that is only being practiced in the research and development sector because of the regulations in place.

And apparently no one thinks to just turn the boys away when Tom asks about body modification potions and Gellert muses on destabilising protective wards around hospitals and prisons alike.

It's not all the Unspeakables either, because Harry has seen the ridiculous ones hide Gellert and Tom behind spells or their own robes when they meet certain others. Sometimes the Unspeakables who do allow the boys access to dangerous equipment look reticent.

Harry's Unspeakable is ordering people to take care of the boys, is actively hiding it from some people, and even telling subordinates to show the boys certain departments or to give them gifts of books or raw materials.

Gellert and Tom have some kind of deal going on with Harry's Unspeakable, and the Unspeakable is so high up the chain of command that anyone who would normally think otherwise has instead just taken their hands off the hippogriff's reins and said it's not their problem what happens next.

Which Harry should protest but it's just so good for the boys to be here because at least they learn teamwork (or leadership) and quality control (or how to forge the paperwork) and it gets them interested in academia instead of world domination (or just how academia can further world domination).

So the problem is that Harry doesn't know if Tom or Gellert came up with the plan to partner with the Unspeakable.

Or if, maybe, the Unspeakable set this all up themself.

"You look confused," Harry's Unspeakable muses, dropping the blob into Harry's hand.

"I'm thinking about the usual," Harry admits, squishing the blob around. He sits up straight and puts both hand to work squishing it. "You're Three, right? Where are Unspeakables One and Two?"

"I wanted a promotion," is all the Unspeakable says.

"Huh." Harry frowns. "You know, I think you're a bad influence on the boys."

"Oh, I'll never be quite as bad as you, albeit for different reasons."

Harry hums. "If this, whatever it is you do, hurts them-"

The Unspeakable leans down over the chair, close enough that Harry sees something like eyes under the hood, something like teeth, something like a smile.

"I'm going to stop you right there," the Unspeakable chuckles. "I know you'll never understand this, Harry, but we play different games. I'm giving them everything and all they have to do is impress me."

"What does losing mean?" Harry demands and tries to shove the blob into the Unspeakable's face.

The Unspeakable rears back, batting Harry's hand away. "Nothing awful, don't get feisty. They just lose my…respect."

"I don't see anything bad about that," Harry grumbles, stomping on the Unpeakable's shoe before they can dodge back.

"Yeah, probably because you lost all of my respect within twenty minutes of being in this dimension."

"I'm naming the dragon Nogard."

The Unspeakable braces themself on a nearby table and make a sound like it physically hurt to hear that.

.

A/N: Harry is starting to understand that the Unspeakable is dangerous. They are, in fact, far worse than Harry thinks but the Unspeakable certainly won't be telling Harry that.

And, by the way, Harry actually won that game. He got an identity, he got free rein over all the Unspeakable resources for money and wards, and all the child raising books Harry asked for. (If only he asked for something else, Harry's Unspeakable would have delivered it all.)

Harry won, because it really is impressive just how many pieces Harry shifts around the board without even realising it.