Title: Enemies of the Heart (working title)

Author: Neldluva

Fandom: Samurai Champloo

Rating: R

Pairing: Jin/Mugen

Warnings: yaoi, naughty language, liberties taken with the show's timeline, PWP-ish, ANGST

Disclaimer: I own nothing. It all belongs to those who created Samurai Champloo ... and made it so delightfully slashy.

Summary: Angsty chapter. Jin ponders.

Mugen yawned as he awoke and rolled onto his back, stretching so that his back and elbows popped. Jin stirred at the movement, blinking the sleep from his eyes and replacing his glasses on his nose.

"Hmm," he sighed as he sat up. "It's early."

"Yeah," Mugen grunted, rolling over again and crawling over to his futon to gather his clothes. "The girl's probably gonna want to go soon. Fucking bitch. Where the hell is this samurai anyway?"

Jin shrugged and began to get dressed. Right on cue, Fuu entered the room just as they finished dressing. "Come on, guys, let's get going!" she cried. "We're getting closer to the sunflower samurai, I can feel it!"

"The only thing I feel is hungry," Mugen grumbled, running his hand through his hair. "Do we have money for breakfast?"

"Yes," Jin said, patting the small bag of money in his obi. "We will have to ration carefully, though, if we want this to last. We may not be able to find work so easily in the next town."

"Oh, I don't care." Fuu smiled happily. "Just as long as we get a few good meals in, I'll be – oh."

They stood on the front porch of the inn, and Fuu had just noticed with dismay the torrential rain pouring down from the sky. The clouds hung dark and heavy in the air, and thunder crackled in the distance.

"Hmm," Jin said, sticking a hand out into the rain. "This could delay us."

"Fuck," Mugen said, staring up at the angry-looking sky. "The roads are probably washed out for miles. We're not leaving anytime soon."

Fuu pouted and wrung her hands. "And just when we had enough money to get us someplace!" she cried.

Jin glanced down at her, compassion in his dark eyes. "Let's go find something to eat, and we can decide what to do after that," he suggested comfortingly. "But I think we'll need an umbrella."

The rain lasted an entire week, pelting down without cease, day and night. The inn began to smell dank, but it was in good enough repair that none of the rooms had serious leaks. They paid the innkeeper for the week so they wouldn't be turned away, but all three agreed that it was a good idea to find jobs while they were stuck, so at least their time wouldn't be completely wasted.

Jin and Mugen continued to sleep together. Mugen didn't want to spend money on a whore, and plus, Jin was plenty satisfying on his own. Working together, they found their creativity endless, and never found an end to interesting things to do in bed.

One of these interesting things that Jin discovered about Mugen was the fact that the pirate liked, of all things, to hold him close while they slept. This puzzled Jin at first, and while he hadn't pushed Mugen away after that first show of comfort, he hadn't known what to do with it. The next night, Mugen had snuggled even closer, and Jin began to think that it wasn't so bad to have someone hold him close after sex. By the end of the week, they slept pressed together from chest to groin, their legs entwined and their breath mixing.

"Only because it gets cold at night," Jin murmured just before he fell asleep.

"Mmm hmm," Mugen agreed, settling a warm arm around Jin's waist.

But despite the cuddling, each of them maintained his emotional distance. Every night ended with promises to kill the other, as if in unspoken agreement that they wouldn't forget the duel that had started the day they had met.

Jin remained awake one night, listening to the rain beat against the roof of the inn and Mugen's soft snores. He had his hand in Mugen's hair, which was thankfully clean, and stroked it gently enough that the pirate didn't wake. His glasses had been tossed aside sometime earlier that evening, so he was able to contemplate Mugen without the barrier of the lenses.

Jin was trying to puzzle out his feelings for Mugen. Something had definitely changed in their relationship, though he couldn't name what it was. During the day, they acted the same as they always had, each posturing and tormenting the other, pushing to test their limits. It was a game to them; how far could they go before they both snapped? And at night – well, there was the sex, and they slept in the same bed, but beyond that, nothing unusual. So Jin was trying to figure out why he craved the night, why he counted the minutes until sundown, why he longed for the entire day to be back in bed.

There could only be one explanation: he had come to depend on Mugen. He pressed his lips together, displeased with the conclusion and with allowing himself to come so far. He didn't need anybody, and he couldn't allow himself to depend on anyone because they were bound to let him down, Mugen more so than most others. He usually halted any sort of relationship before this point with his cold, aloof manner, but apparently he had realized his danger too late with Mugen. Oh well, it could be dealt with soon enough. The next night, he resolved, he would break it off. He couldn't afford to depend on anybody.

"Hey," Mugen said softly, slipping into bed and twining his arms around Jin's shoulders as he dropped a kiss on his lips.

Jin allowed the kiss for a moment, but then pushed at Mugen's shoulders, frowning heavily at him. "It isn't that cold at night anymore," he said in a firm voice. "Get back to your own bed." His tone was frigid, and the meaning shouldn't have been lost, even on someone as stupid as Mugen.

Jin had expected a violent reaction, protestations, promises of revenge, and generally a great deal of shouting and sulking. But Mugen just backed off, smiled his crooked smile, and said, "Okay." With his hands laced behind his head, he walked out of the room.

Jin's mind froze for a little while. After all of the thought he had put into breaking it off, how could Mugen let go so easily? Wasn't he even upset or disappointed? Perhaps the dependency had been completely on Jin's side; perhaps Mugen hadn't needed him at all. Jin closed his eyes as he felt something in his chest twist painfully at the thought, but quickly willed it away. He was done with Mugen.

He had nearly succeeded in falling asleep when he heard the door open again, accompanied by a deep rumble from Mugen and the high-pitched, breathless giggling of a girl. Jin sighed and squeezed his eyes shut, but he could not shut out the sounds from the futon next to him, the rumbles that became grunts and the giggles that became moans. Without saying a word, he rose from his bed and left the room.

He sat on the porch outside the inn, watching the rain that the dim lamps illuminated. It was difficult to see across the street even in the daytime, but at night, the insulating rain and tiny range of the light made it feel as though the world extended only a few feet to either side. It took a long time to quiet his mind enough for successful meditation.

He had been outside for a few hours when he heard the door open beside him and a tiny gasp.

"Oh, Jin, I didn't know you were out here!" Fuu said, tucking her hands in the sleeves of her kimono. "I thought you would be asleep … what are you doing?"

"Meditating," he answered simply. "Would you like to join me?"

"Sure," she said as she sat next to him, eyes wandering to where the rising sun illuminated the clouds. "I didn't get a wink of sleep last night. Mugen was being really loud with some girl."

"Hmm."

"No wonder you came out here! I'd want to get away from that pretty quick."

"Fuu-chan, are you going to meditate or not?" Jin asked, his eyes softening as he looked upon her.

She blushed and bent her head. "I sure do hope the rain stops soon," she said quietly. That was the last thing she said before they rose to join Mugen for breakfast.

Jin spent most of the day inside his head, contemplating his actions the night before. The old lady who ran the bookstore shouted at him several times to wake up, but in the end just stormed away, unable to make the stoic samurai listen. Jin knew he was probably out of a job, but that didn't matter very much, for he knew they would be moving on soon.

None of his past partners had merited such consideration. Gone was gone, and life became simple and uncomplicated again. Jin had never regretted his choice to break it off before. Now, though, Mugen's face haunted him, floating in front of his eyes while he helped customers, wearing that pretentious smirk and calling him a coward. Had Mugen actually been in the store, Jin would have punched him or challenged him to a fight, anything to shut up that taunting drawl of a voice.

Supper that day was quieter than usual, and though Fuu chatted to make up for the lack of conversation, she could feel the tension in the air. Jin wore a thoughtful frown on his face, and he had hardly touched his food. Mugen dug in with his usual gusto, but every once in a while Fuu would catch him looking up at Jin with a weird sort of look on his face that reminded her a little bit of a kicked puppy. After several failed attempts to incite the boys out of silence, though, she gave up.

"I'm going to bed," she announced tiredly, not surprised at the lack of response. "You guys should think about it too. If the rain stops tomorrow, we're leaving this place."

Mugen stared silently at Jin over the table. "Well, I'm leaving too," he said, belching contentedly as he rose from his seat. "Night."

Jin waited until Mugen was out of sight and likely in bed before he left the table. He didn't want to risk the chance that he might run into Mugen before he was safely in bed for fear of what sort of reaction he might have.

The room was dark and quiet, and he could hear Mugen snoring. He allowed a small sigh of relief before climbing into bed and shutting his eyes, willing sleep to come. Unfortunately, his thoughts were much too busy to allow any sort of rest. He stared at the insides of his eyelids for a while, trying to make his mind quiet, but peace was not to be found.

Silently, he crawled over to Mugen's futon and poked his shoulder. Mugen rolled over and opened one eye, looking questioningly at Jin.

"I got cold," Jin said weakly, dropping his gaze.

Mugen huffed quietly and lifted the blanket. "Come on in here, fucker," he grumbled.

Jin did so gladly, sliding right up to Mugen and wrapping his arms around the bare patch of skin left between shirt and pants. He felt Mugen's hands slide beneath his kimono and around his shoulders. He sighed contentedly and tucked his head under Mugen's chin.

And neither of them promised to kill the other.

"Guys, guys, wake up! The rain has stopped we can move on and – oh."

Mugen winced at Fuu's shrieking, reluctantly opening his eyes. She stood in the doorway, staring openly at them, and her face was a darker pink than her kimono. He grinned a lopsided grin and nudged Jin awake.

"Hey, we got company," he said, loud enough that Fuu could hear it.

Jin stirred as he felt Mugen awake and chuckled at his words. "Perhaps we should invite her in," he murmured. During the night, he had come to lay sprawled on top of Mugen, so he rested his chin on Mugen's chest. His kimono had slid off his shoulders, but Mugen was well on his way to naked. His shorts had slid down, so Jin had a firm hold of his ass, and he was attached to his shirt by only one arm.

"Yeah!" Mugen said. "Hey Fuu, are you going to come in and join us or what?"

Fuu blushed an impossibly darker shade of red and shook her head. "Um, sorry I disturbed you, I'll just go get something to eat." With that, she ran from the room as though a fire licked at her heels.

Mugen snickered and ran his hands through the loose ends of Jin's hair. "I think we scared her pretty good," he muttered.

"Hmm," Jin agreed, shutting his eyes contentedly.

All of a sudden, Mugen was struck with inspiration. Taking advantage of Jin's closed eyes, he reached over and pulled out the silk tie that held his hair back. Jin's eyes flashed open in an instant, and Mugen could tell he was torn between anger and horror.

"Hey," he said, tugging down Jin's hand when it went to his hair. "I like it."

Jin looked uncertain. "Really?"

"Yeah, really." Mugen squirmed a little under the weight of Jin's gaze. "What are you, deaf?"

Jin cast his eyes down and smiled, and Mugen felt his heart pound. It wasn't a big smile, no teeth or anything, but it was so Jin. Mugen decided to call it his Jin smile, and he knew it was Jin's gift to him alone.

"Get up, you bastard, I have to take a piss."

Jin retreated and sat up, replacing his kimono on his shoulders and reaching back to tie his hair. "You're so crude," he murmured, still smiling slightly.

"Yeah, and you like it. You know you're a sick, twisted motherfucker, right? C'mon, I'm hungry."

To be continued!